Hope in the Resistance | C1
Alma’s hands hurt a little as she finally dropped her sponge into the bucket, finally satisfied with the results and how clean and tidy her shack was. It had taken her eight hours of cleaning to get it completely clean and reorganised; removed panels, light bars, the windows, shelving units and even the goddamn ceiling.
Stress cleaning.
It had been a damn while since she last had the urge to clean and reorganise but today felt like a day to indulge into it. Yesterday, she had targeted the kitchen and living area inside the hideout and people were still miffed about it but she didn’t hear them complain when all their plates and rations were not only clean, but organised more efficiently. Of course, since the whole thing was inside a cave, there was only so much she was able to clean. She was eying the medical bay since it wasn’t the best area but the Resistance was still opening up caves so there was still better chances of a new area to be opened up for them.
Alma knew it had been a little obsessive when she almost wiped down So’lek’s bow and got genuinely frustrated when he wouldn’t let her touch it, so she had taken her frustration out into her shack for today.
Now, Alma was pretty pleased with her work. Her bed was stripped and redone with spares and the dirty bedding in the basket that she’d need to get washed, thankfully, her shack had a very basic, mini multipurpose washer-dryer to see to that need, but first, she had the last batch of her clothes currently in a new cleaning cycle and drying. So her last few days were far more productive and she didn’t like to admit it, it kept her mind off… them.
It had been a week since Tamtey and the clans had taken down Mercer’s base and honestly, she hadn’t seen much of Tamtey herself; too busy with taking down other RDA bases to show up and she knew Ri’nela had been sick of the sight of her at base and actively walked away if they crossed paths accidently.
Sure, she knew Ri’nela had been graciously in how she acknowledge her new path in life but that wasn’t forgiveness. Teylan had been distant but she opted not to seek him out and piss Ri’nela off even more. Alma had already spoken with Norm and had stepped down from her Leadership position now and it was being manages by Alex and Ri’nela, a human-Na’vi balance that had no emotional baggage.
Which left Alma with little to do but her science, but even then there was little to do right now until the air space was more clear from the RDA patrols for exhibitions. But the last couple of days, she had found something to do and her brain latched onto it.
Her bed have moved places, more by the window, the stick-on shutters she put back on the window, bathroom was sparkling and nothing much she could change without a wrench in there given the piping. Her decommissioned link bed also had to stay put but she had cleaned that right down to the gel and screws and Alma had been quietly horrified about her lack of link-bed hygiene based on what she wiped up. She shut that sparking lid quickly.
Alma had moved her table more to the end, opening up the space and her shelving unit close to the bed and the first half of newly washed clothes were now folded up neatly and showed her how much space she hadn’t filled up. No matter, she could take some of the science tools from the base and restock.
The scent of cleaning products remained in the air, slightly lemon scented. Alma sighed heavily, drying her hands and disposed of the water down the loo before she left for the Hideout with a groan, stretching her limb and her lower back remained every present without any pop of relief. Her chest too, something Alma contributed towards long link-bed stretches… so she had little to blame but herself on that. Maybe she could ask for some advice for stretches from someone. If they were willing to help her that was. She knew there were plenty of people that hated her now and it was no few amount.
She yawned as the airlock cycled, pulling her mask off and set it at her hip and went straight to the supplies and pulled out a tray before she stared into it, confused.
“We have a lot of rations,” She remarked, her eyes found Priya in passing, “We got more food?”
Priya paused in her step, her blue eyes flickering to the shelving unit. “Err, yeah. Tamtey’s been busy and Anqa’s been flying teams out to the sites to reclaim the supplies. We’ve got more weapons, data, food, general supplies, mechanical goods, medical and food.”
Alma blinked. “Wow.”
Priya smiled softly, “I’m hoping Tamtey comes back soon so I can properly thank her for her efforts, but from what I last heard, she’s spending the next five days at the Aranahe. Ri’nela’s also going to be taking a trip to the Zeswa with Teylan for a bit so… you probably won’t see much of those three around.”
Alma nodded softly. “Alright. I need to stock my shack anyway. I’m gonna take the usual twenty-four packs, that’ll last me the week without dipping here again.” Gesturing to the food supply trays.
“Alright. I’ll make note in inventory but why aren’t you moving back in with us? You’re sleeping out in the shack still? It’s not like you have your….” Priya tailed off awkwardly.
Alma just nodded, not meeting her eyes. “I think it’s for the best.” It seemed right to keep that distance. She was socially dead in the water anyway and… she didn’t like the idea of being so available and vulnerable to ‘pranks’ that might just humiliate her. Safe and peace of mind.
She left Priya at that with her goods, snagging a few pillows for her shack under her other arm and headed back to the shack.
-
Alma had hoped to sleep in peace when night fell, having an uneventful breakfast and found herself some old research papers to read before she turned the lights out. Her sleep didn’t last, her mind stirring into groggy consciousness with a sense of confusion.
She blinked a little, her hand coming to rub at her face but pulled her pillows back into place and her blankets, rolling onto her side to get comfortable again. But then, Alma felt it, a deep tightening at her stomach but it faded off quickly.
“Ugh.” She pulled herself out of bed, forcing her limbs onwards to the bathroom for a pad. She knew that feeling but had hoped to not need to experience the familiar cycle that her body was in the process of stopping. She was in her 50s, she was well into the process of menopause given the last near-ten months of an absent period. She had been so hopeful.
Maybe the link faltering had caused a surge in her hormones? Alma remembered how the headache had been after her avatar had died, the pain of loss but it felt like she had whiplash straight to the front of her frontal lobe and it had taken a while before the nose bleed to stop and her head to feel better. She flushed the loo grumpily and padded out to find her pack of Advil and downed two and returned to bed to hope the cramps would ease up.
It, in fact, did not get better.
The painkillers took the edge off for her to doze but not to pull her under completely and waking every so often with the cramps before fading off again. Very inconsistent.
Alma squeezed her eyes shut against the sun, her mind feeling groggy and her eyes felt like there were weights behind them. Every part of her wanted to stay in and call it a sick-day. She so wanted to do that. No open would notice her absence for a day.
Her stomach growled a little, despite the discomfort that she still needed to eat. It’d keep Nalin off her back about her weight, even if she had put on more pounds at her waist and hips the last few months, it wasn’t enough according to the docs. It took a lot to move, one limb at a time and pulling a face as she sat up to survey the shack and feeling mildly pleased it was still nice and clean.
Finally, she straightened her spine out of bed and slouched her way to the kitchen set up and pulled down a clean mug and an herbal tea bag from the pot and filled it with water and let it have a heating spin in the microwave since there was no other alternatives to heating inside.
Quiet day, definitely. Maybe grab some research and do some reading, or maybe sleep again, if possible. There was no point in trying to be productive if she couldn’t concentrate or commit. Her first day was often the worse, normally, she’s link up and not worry since the pain didn’t travel through the link or into her avatar. Now she had to sit and bare it.
Her breath paused as she felt another cramp wash through her abdomen, a mildly more intense from before but it faded like last time. The microwave dinged, so she pulled it out and dropped the teabag in and let it seep.
Maybe not with the research. The thought of leaving with cramps this strong… na. Nope. Inside, in bed and alone. No need to worry Nalin either. Just a bad period.
Alma didn’t consider the doc another thought as she fished the tea bag out and sipped at the tea slowly, relishing the flavour and stared into the tea soup with quiet contemplation. Her brown eyes flickering to the ration packs in the fridge before she tugged one from the stack, opened it enough to not pop like a balloon when heated and tossed it into the microwave on a plate to heat. Her eyes watched it turn innocently, waiting in silence before it dinged suddenly and she jumped a little.
It was steaming when it was pulled out, so it was easy to tip the content onto the plate and shoved the hot silver packet into the bin before grabbing the vinegar and salt and doused the preserved chili sauce and rice and tucked right in, leaning against the table as she did so.
Each spoonful was delicious, adding more salt where needed but it felt wonderful to eat and it helped push back against the tiredness in her brain. She paused for a sip of tea and get back to it, adding salt into the tea as well for good measure. It almost made her sad to finish the plate and wash it up.
But her food high dimmed at another strong cramp that made her pause, her hand coming to her abdomen. Alma grimaced through it as it tapered off and let out a shaky breath. “Ugh.”
Back to bed it seemed.
-
Alma lost track of time, the pain began to get worse and worse, not even the comfort of her bed was making it better so she sought refuge in her small shower cubicle and letting the warm water rain down on her which did feel better, despite being in her PJs still. She hadn’t the energy to change but the heat was pleasant and lingered.
The move to the bathroom was strategic, she felt a weight in her pelvis pressing down on her insides, making her feel the starting needs to use the toilet.
Her hands clenched tightly, grinding her teeth together as another cramp rose, but stayed longer as well. A noise died in her throat.
This wasn’t normal.
This couldn’t be.
Then the pain died down. Her hands tugged at her soggy waistband and shifted enough to push it down her hips, snagging her underwear too. Despite being wet through, there was only a small sign of spotting, no sea of red on the pad as she expected. All that pain for nothing?
What the hell was wrong with her?
It couldn’t have been her appendix; that was taken out when she was seven. Could her IUD be causing this?
She knew not many people knew about that but it had been installed after her recovery after her daughter’s C-section by Mercer’s orders to prevent another pregnancy at TAP, but honestly, after Michael’s death she hadn’t cared about sleeping with anyone. The loss of both had been a hard time and sex hadn’t been a thought until after the rebellion. She could have had it removed then, but she hadn’t wanted human babies back then, not after a stillbirth. No Na’vi wanted her through her avatar, so no chance of kids that way so… it had been simpler to stick with humans for simple pleasures when she felt it was time.
Was it a possible infection?
“Alma?!”
“B-bathroom!” She called, her heart rising in hope; someone had come to her. Thank god, she didn’t have to crawl out to the radio.
Alma flinched as the door opened suddenly before she realised it was Nalin, a medkit in hand and her wide eyes were filled with worried. Alma briefly imagined she was a sight to see, half-naked in a shower tray looking like shit.
Nalin dove forwards, turning off the water above. “What’s wrong? You’ve not been seen about the last two days, I was thinking the worst…”
Alma groaned a little, running a hand though her wet hair and letting the water seep down.. “Painful… cramps.” She gestured downwards. “Started after I restocked the shack with food. I thought it was a bad period and just wanted to stay away until it passed.”
Nalin’s hand came to her stomach, pressing in but in time as she felt her stomach contract again and she snapped her jaw shut, fingers biting into the soggy fabric of her PJ pants. Panting softly for the minutes before it stopped but she barely relaxed.
“Appendix?” Nalin asked, moving open her legs but pulled on a set of gloves from the case. Straight to business. Good.
“Long gone. I have an IUD?” That had to be it, right?
“Let me check.”
Alma freely let her stick her hand up there, but she noticed as Nalin’s eyes widened before leaning down to look.
“Ohh…”
Alma went to say something before the pain returned with a vengeance, but this was different as she felt the overwhelming urge to push down. “I need to loo!” She could try and pull herself up, she did not want to shit in her shower in front of company.
“Oh, you’re not gonna poop.” Nalin grabbed her knees, keeping her legs spread. “This pain, its contractions. You’re pregnant.”
“What? No. I have an IUD and I’m in fucking menopause.” Alma gritted out.
Nalin shook her head. “Not a guarantee, Alma. Your cervix is fully open. You’re urge is to push. You’re going to have this baby right now.”
The contraction came to a brief relapse, allowing her a moment to breath. “I can’t be pregnant, this isn’t happening.” Alma shook her head, “I’m fifty two. I’m too old.”
“Alma, this is happening. A baby is gonna pop out of you, like it or not. I just need you to work with me so the baby can be delivered in the best possible condition.” Nalin said, “Now, either stay on your ass or change position before the next contraction.”
Alma bit her lip, but opted to move; rolling to her knees and set her hands on the wall… she gasped as she felt a popping sensation and the gush that went straight down her legs. She clung onto a pipe, widening her legs for Nalin.
“There’s your water’s breaking, at least this spot is easier to clean than your bed. When the next contraction hits, I want you to bare down.”
The relief and pressure was short lived and the pain and the contractions came back with a vengeance, her knuckles turning white as she followed her body’s instinct to push. Baring down and truly feeling the weight settle in her pelvis… shifting slowly….
Alma left panting as it waned.
“You’re doing very well, Alma. Take long deep breaths in this peace. The baby’s starting to crown.”
“How long will this take?!” Alma asked, trying to take those breaths. She hated this. She wanted some pain killers. Relief… anything to not endure this anymore.
“Given this is your first baby, maybe an hour or two.”
“What the fuck!”
Nalin didn’t bat an eye on that. “Maybe sooner, it can happen sooner if you work with me.”
Alma growled under her breath but tried to focus back on her body before she felt the baby wiggle, a true wiggle that left her gasping through the contraction.
Real baby, inside her. Fuck.
…
…
Blood pounded in her ears, her throat aching through the contraction, one after another, barely a second but she could feel it, her heart sang in her chest and she could barely feel her knees…
“I see the head, the next push is gonna be hard but you can do it.” Nalin’s voice sounded distant, but there and she could already feel its head was out her font-door.
Alma screamed through the next contraction, baring down hard and feeling the baby wiggle, Nalin’s fingers probing at her then… it was a rush as she pushed again and the baby descended fast… then the pain was near gone, followed by a sudden relief of both pain and warmth down her legs.
“I got her! It’s a girl!” Nalin called, a second later, somewhere by her hips.
Alma panted, her head bent as she stared down in disbelief of the sight of the curled up, slippery wrinkled baby between her legs, held in Nalin’s hand attached to a cord that vanished upwards before Nalin pulled her back quickly. Alma blinked, eyes barely following anf slumping down a little as Nalin hurriedly rubbed the baby’s back and face with a piece of dressing to clean her crumpled nose and mouth, the momentary silence dragging before the bathroom was filled with a loud echoing of a newborn first cries and complaints.
“There we go… that’s just what we wanted to hear…” Nalin cooed, yanking the shower towel off the side without hesitation and wrapped her up.
Alma slowly moved to sit, adjusting the cord between her legs as she watched Nalin check the baby’s face before offering her out. It took a second to process but Alma opened her arms and the infant was set against her, but it was soon skin to skin after Nalin reached to help pull off her wet shirt too. The baby felt so hot against her, her cries disappearing quickly as her little cheek rested against her chest. So small too. Very small. Not the size of weight of a typical baby, Alma noted in the back of her mind, but she looked otherwise healthy.
“I won’t clamp it just yet. Let the baby have all she needs.” Nalin said, feeling the umbilical cord and how it pulsated. “I need to give you two your shots, but I need help. Baby will need to be checked over and so do you.”
Alma nodded airy, starting down at her baby and let her radio for help as she prepped a needle.
Her baby.
Her daughter.
Another daughter… but this one was alive. Not a quiet bundle. Not one that never cried.
Colour had yet to fully sink into the baby’s skin but… she took in the delicate details of her unexpected child. Her puffs of hair was black, curled and stuck to her head, scrunched up expression though her face didn’t look too dissimilar to her own, she could tell that the baby did not inherit her nose shape entirely. Elements of her father was ever present in that with how slimmer her button nose was and there was a more uplift to the tip of her nose than her own, which sloped a little down. Alma could make out the tiny dimples, but it was hard to say with what she was covered in.
Abrupt, the baby’s lip gutted out into a pout which made her heart melt. “Oh, I know its cold…” Alma rocked her softly, watching her as the child pressed her face into her skin, searching.
“If this is a cryptic pregnancy, we may need to find alternatives until your milk comes in.” Nalin said, swiftly giving Alma her first injection and switched out the needle.
“I think I’m producing, might take a few hours.” Alma pointed out, “I have had a sore chest but… not hung about this body to listen to why. Probably just need stimulation to get going.”
“Alma…”
Alma looked up, giving Nalin a very tired look. “I’ve learned to ignore my human body. I didn’t get nausea or a big belly here. I would have noticed that.”
Nalin tittered, gently tugging a little leg from the blankets and Alma held her breath as she gave her daughter a shot and as soon as the needle was withdrawn, the baby yanked her leg back, face crumping straight up before she began to cry, different than before, clear sound of pain and it hit very close to her heart.
“<Its okay, it’s okay…>” She whispered in quiet Na’vi. Moving her to rest across her chest entirely, her skin muffling her a little and her hands stroked down her back…. Then there was a brief wash of warmth that went straight down her front. “Oh, she peed on me.”
“Oh god, we have nothing for her!” Nalin gasped in realisation.
Alma groaned, but not because of that; she could scrounge together something but mostly because of the pee. “Let’s wash us down, then think about that later. I have old bedding we can use until Raj can sew me some diapers and clothes.”
Then, Alma heard the airlock hiss.
Nalin jumped to her feet, hurrying from the bathroom. Leaving her alone with her child. The baby quietened down, her breath fast against her skin, spindly little hands trying to find a grip on her collar bone.
She needed a name.
Her mind touched back. Amanda had been the name chosen for her first daughter. Michael had wanted to call that baby Hope but even after his death, she hadn’t decided; she almost did until the baby went still and… Alma hadn’t wanted to name her dead baby after Hope. No, it was easier for that daughter to remain Amanda.
Maybe this was Hope.
Honestly, her heart was swelling with a flurry of emotions just watching and holding her. After all of what happened, she could so with some hope in her life.
Yes.
“Hope Cortez.” Alma whispered, the name feeling real now as the baby did.
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