#nathan prior

[unhelpfulnpc]

Just gotta say, thank you to everyone who makes fan content for obscure video games so that I can enjoy it when I get into the game 2 years late and join the already small now vacant fandom. Thank you for your service!!

also I will be accepting headcanons requests for the characters in the game “growing up” because I’m obsessed with it and I want to try out making content!

[milton-chamberlain]

[bobbieisthebest]

Joel holding a Roman candle aloft, running: Will we do it? Will we do The Correct Thing? Hahaha, NEVER! Let's make poor decisions!

Patty: WHOO!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam: We're going to drink magic thinking juice until we figure out what to do.

Flick: Magic thinking juice?

Sam: Beer.

Kato: That would explain why you nailed a grand piano to the ceiling.

Sam: Did it or did it not fit in the room that way, Mr. Complainy?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alicia: You’re a good friend, Juni.

Juniper: One of us has to be.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dad: closes the kitchen cabinet too roughly

muffled sound of glass crashing

Dad: You hear that sound, Sammy?

Sam, visiting the twins for the first time: Yeah?

Dad: That's the sound of somebody else's problem.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richard: Everyone around here is crazy!

Juniper: That’s not true

Wendy: Let me put down my bag of rubber hands and explain something to you...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake: you can trust me

Bobbie: I don’t even trust the way you just now said i could trust you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel: Wendy! You’re forcing me to be the voice of reason! And it’s not a good look for me!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buddy: I’m totally useless.

Bobbie: You’re not totally useless. You can be used as a bad example!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juniper: I won't say Alicia has a "strained" relationship with the truth... She don't know the bitch. She's never met her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patty: Fuck being nonchalant. I love being a chalant bitch. I have never been chill not once in my life. Even when I am asleep, I am clenching my teeth.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nate: It's like feeding two birds with one hand!

Juniper: …Do you mean "killing two birds with one stone"?

Nate, very serious: I would never hurt a bird

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[cutebubbles]

So I just played Growing Up and I am addicted and emotionally attached.

First playthrough (no pics sadly ;-;): I made myself but tbh she diverged from me when I made her develop different interests from me. Childhood she befriended Alex, middle school Wendy and high school Kato. My character was chaotic but a mom friend who made sure Alex didn’t get killed. I was originally was going to have her pursue Wendy but then said she wasn’t interested in any girls or guys and I was just ohhh I guess this isn’t going to work out. Alex I believe is straight so not an option but I fell in love with Kato. I love how cute and dorky they are together. My favorite scene was when they were playing a kissing game with dungeons and dragons dice. My character got all the good endings, married Kato and become a veterinarian.

Second playthrough:

Kato and my character had a son named Julius and his childhood friend is Bobbie (who I love to death), had an enemies to lovers story with Alicia and befriend Flick. Tbh I debated to date Bobbie but I ended up not getting those vibes from their relationship plus idk if I missed but I don’t think I saw an option to date her? With Flick I have this headcanon that she did have a crush on Julius but he never saw her that way since he already liked Alicia since middle school. During that time period in her route when she avoids you he would date Alicia. In her good ending while feeling guilty for what happened to her brother she was able to move on and get married and have kids like she wanted. But when it said she got divorced because she had trust issues I wondered if she thought back to Julius sometimes because he’s still good friends with her and he was the only person she ever trusted. Julius ended up as a football player for the super bowl and married Alicia who became a business women and created non profit organizations to help others.

Third playthrough:

Alicia and Julius had a daughter named Valentina and holy shit her life was the most chaotic. So even though these storylines don’t crossover I like to think she dated these three dudes at different times in high school. So Jake is her childhood friend who I think is her first love and dated him first until I got the bad ending lol when she tried to stop him from getting into a gang she said she loved him but he dropped out of high school and never saw her again and died in a gang fight. Sam I think she would have dated on and off after Jake and at the one point when he makes out with another girl and he said he was now seeing her. I felt chaotic in the moment and had her kiss him and he ended up calling her a skank and she yelled at him and the last time they interact is them awkwardly feeling bad for what happened but never directly confronting each other when they saw each other. Nate she was friends with since middle school and I think it fits he would the last person she dates since his route has romance happen at the end. Omg Nate is amazing and I love their relationship so much. It felt like she had a more genuine connection with him out of the three boys. Valentina ended marrying Nate and she became a famous movie costume designer and he became a veterinarian.

I’m trying to get all the characters and I want to get a playthough with Jake and Sam’s good endings. Highly recommend this game for fun character interaction and character creating with stat building.

Edit:

Fourth playthrough:

After two playthroughs with the only options to be straight, it felt vital to be gay this time. Hmm this story was rather chill. The next kid I would follow is Aria and I would say she’s a chill and artistic sort of girl who wasn’t into school and preferred to draw all the time. I think her route was that slow realization of woah… I’m gay. Cool. Like I can picture many would think her and Richard would end up together since cute childhood friend to romance and Richard develops a small crush on her in high school. I think it was her meeting Patty that made her think about it more. Idk what happens if you try to pursue Charles as a girl and how he rejects you but I like to think because he’s pressured by his father and Aria is his closest female friend he asked her out. They tried to be a couple for like a week and it was the most uncomfortable experience of their lives and have a deep introspection together on how they felt similar about their sexualities. When Richard tries to hold her hand at the theater and explain how he felt uncomfortable doing stuff with romance, Aria was like don’t worry that won’t happy to us… cause I’m gay. Richard was just quiet and then sighed with relief and they stayed besties. This would all build up to Aria’s first kiss with Patty and it was adorable. Aria would end up becoming an artist while traveling around with Patty.

[sabineelectricheart]

Prom Date Regrets

Summary: Lenore is going to the prom with Casey Valentine, for much the chagrin of all her friends. Especially Nathan.

Rating: T - Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes.

Words: 2600

Notes: So, I’m not sure if I captured it right, but...

Lenore scuffled around the room in her half-zipped up dress, frustratedly trying to locate the earrings she wanted to wear to the prom as the hands of the clock mocked her going faster than they usually do.

"Where are they?" She muttered, stress straining her voice.

It was the night of their high school prom, and the young teen is running herself haggard trying to get ready in a timely fashion, but also making herself look as good as she possibly could.

However, her mother had left in a hurry, due to a work emergency, and her friend Alicia, much unlike herself, said she would not be going to the party, since her dress would have to be funded by her loathed father and that she preferred to have a shift at the hospital anyways. Lenore supposes that she could have asked Vivica, but their friendship was in a weird place those days.

Now, she is starting to feel desperate, as it was past seven and her date, Casey Valentine, would be stopping by at any minute.

He had asked her as soon as the prom was announced, swooping in before a considerably long line of people, of both genders, who wanted to ask her that very same question. Including Nathan Prior, who was undoubtedly first in that line.

Lenore, being completely oblivious to her prospects, said yes to Casey, Vivica’s most loathed younger brother, figuring nobody else would be interested.

"Hey, Lenore!" The blond teen called as she stood in the hallway.

She was not alone, being flanked each side with Buddy and Nathan, mocking the ridiculously redundant poster on the wall advertising the prom that had been the talk of the school since they entered it.

"Hi, Casey." The girl gave him a friendly smile.

The pair of boys rolled their eyes at him. He was tall, blond and spoiled. In a suburban high school such as theirs, it was a recipe for disaster. Nevertheless, their friend insisted in being kind to him, saying that, regardless of their opinion about him, he is still Vivica’s brother.

Regardless of the fact that Vivica must hate him the most out of all of them.

"What's up?" Lenore asked politely.

A smirk overtook his face that made Nathan want to barf, or tell him to fuck off, or punch him. Whichever came first. He hoped it was the punch.

"You're going to be my date to the prom." Casey declared, giving a sharp affirmative nod.

"Um..." She pondered for a moment. It didn't sound like a question. "Okay?"

Her answer seem to have made half the student population quietly groan in despondence, wondering why she even wanted to endure an entire evening with him, of all people.

"Sweet. Catch you around." He winked, before turning on his heel, high-fiving a few baffled sophomores on his way down the corridor.

After a few moments of stunned silence, Nathan spoke up.

"Why'd you say yes?" He asked, humour in his tone, but the hurt was not to be missed.

"Well…" The teen girl shrugged, looking at her feet. "Nobody else is gonna ask me. Might as well take what I can get."

Nathan's heart slightly broke at that, but before he could tell her that almost every person in the school wanted her on their arm, including him, Buddy interjected.

"You call that asking?" He laughed.

Lenore nudged him, a weak grin on her face. She had felt immediate regret about saying yes, but she could not walk it back now. She would have to deal with Casey Valentine, for better or for worse.

Now, the night of the prom has arrived, and the girl cannot help but to feel terribly despondent, almost hopeless. She has tried to convince herself that it would be fun, but to no avail.

I mean, he's definitely cute. Maybe a little dim, and not very funny, and at parties he always has too much pride to go out and dance, but he asked me, so I have to go with him anyway.

It was almost enough for her to consider that Alicia had a point and perhaps having a shift at the hospital was a better choice after all.

Her nerves about being late were not helped by intrusive thoughts telling her that her night would be indescribably boring with Casey for a date. Though her makeup and hair was done, she still had yet to put her heels on and grab her clutch, not to mention zipping up her dress and finding those damn earrings.

So, when the door creaked open to reveal a certain grey-eyed teen, Lenore sighed in relief.

“Hey, sorry coming in like this.” He smiled awkwardly. “Your dad let me in and told me I could go up.”

"Nathan, thank God you’re here!" The girl said, approaching him and spinning around so that her bare back was facing him. "Could you zip me up? I'm so late."

She heard him chuckle behind her, amused by her stressed demeanour, one that he had seldom seen before.

"Nathan, please!" Lenore whined impatiently, pulling her hair round over one shoulder so he could see the back of her dress fully.

Now, he would be ashamed of his behaviour that night for many years to come, but right then, in the heat of the moment, he could not help but be distracted by the sight of her bare neck, shoulders, and back of the lacy bra which she was wearing underneath the dress. He is a bisexual teen boy, after all, and girls, especially that girl, would get him going in almost any circumstance.

"Alright." He managed to croak out.

“Thank you. Now, help me find my earrings. They’re the ones my mom gave me for my sixteenth birthday, remember?” Lenore said, running around after the jewellery.

Nathan nodded. “Yeah, I think I do.”

He smirked as she kept moving, still scanning the room for her earrings.

"Lenore, hold still." He commanded, moving his hands to her hips, holding her in place.

She froze instantly at his warm touch. Soon after, his fingers ghosted over her spine to the small of her back, which was as far up as she had managed to get the zip on her own.

The black-haired teen began to pull it up, as slowly as he could prolong the moment for. She could hardly think as she felt him breathing gently on the back of her neck, causing goosebumps to arise there that she prayed he could not see.

He kept one hand firmly on her waist as he pulled the other upwards, watching the fabric finally cling to her body in all the right places.

"All done." He said by her ear in a low and raspy voice.

Lenore stayed put for a few moments more, her eyes even fluttering closed at the sound of his soft voice. She soon caught herself, though, stepping away and turning around to face him again.

"Thank you." The girl smiled, before resuming her flustered preparations.

Not before long, she had found the earrings and Nathan had found himself relaxing as he leaned on the wall, watching her with an amused smirk.

Lenore sat down at her vanity, fiddling with the backs of the dainty accessories, but the boy continued to simply admire her from across the room. He thought she looked stunning, all the efforts she had put in during the last couple of weeks had been a thousand times worth it.

He was so frustrated that he did not ask she first. Next time, if there ever is a next time, he knew he would not be so apprehensive, because having her by his side would be nothing less than a privilege.

He wanted to be sure Casey knew that, and treated his friend right for the night, but he knew nothing he could say would change how much of a douchebag Valentine was.

She had noticed Nathan observing her, doing several takes before fixing her eyes on his.

"What?" She asked in a small voice, a smile playing on her lips.

He chuckled, trying to supress it with his tongue in his cheek.

"Nothing." He smirked.

She subtly arched an eyebrow at him suspiciously, before standing up from her chair.

"Why are she still here? Shouldn't you be with Vivica right about now?" Lenore asked, trying not to sound bitter at the mention of his date.

She had assumed that he had asked her, and that she was his plan all along. How wrong she was! Vivica was the one who had asked him, saying that her father was pressuring her to have a “suitable date” for the party, and because his dream date already had one of her own, he accepted.

Despite the edge to her tone, and the fact that they were not as close since Lenore decided to go out with her brother, she must have talked to Vivica recently, as, up to that afternoon, the plan was that Nathan would meet her at the school gate.

"Mrs. Valentine insisted that Casey and Vivica share the limo that they rented for the night, and so she told me that they would just pick me up here. Besides, well..." The boy trailed off.

He grinned, slipping a hand into his jacket pocket. Out of it, he pulled a long black tie, giving she a helpless look. She neglected to stifle her laughter.

"Don't tell me that Sir I-Don’t-Need-Friends Nathan Prior, the great lord of self-sufficiency, can't tie a tie?" She giggled, walking closer to him and slipping the tie from between his fingers into hers.

"Not something I ever got the hang of." He shrugged as she turned up his collar.

Lenore tried not to squeal at the feeling of his hands on her waist again as she slipped the fabric around his neck, ignoring the close proximity of their faces.

"Didn’t you say your mother takes you to church on Sundays? Doesn’t you wear a tie then?" She asked, for want of anything to say.

"Well, she or my stepfather does that on those occasions, but I leave my church tie on in the knot so I don't have to ask them to do it every week." He responded to her inquiry, drinking her in.

Every little thing about her consumed his mind. Her perfume, her eyes that followed her gentle hand movements intently, her rouged lips that were slightly parted in concentration.

He snapped out of his trance when she asked him another question.

"How come you didn't ask Vivica to help you out, then?" She asked quietly.

He shrugged, feeling a lie coming.

"I wanted to impress her, you know?" Nathan said, noting her now slightly furrowed brow. "Can't have her thinking I'm incapable of doing something as simple as tying a tie correctly."

"But you are incapable." She joked, squinting at him confusedly as she turned his collar down over the now perfectly knotted tie.

"She doesn't need to know that." He smirked.

His reasoning was completely false. He just wanted a moment with her, alone, before he lost her to a night with that bastard that he hated so much.

Why him?

A honk is heard from the driveway outside.

“Lenny, honey! Nathan! Your ride is here!” Her father shouts from downstairs.

"It seems that the Valentine siblings are downstairs, waiting for us." Nathan mentioned as the two of them just stood there, close as ever.

“I suppose they are.” Lenore responded, emotionless.

"Are you excited?" He asked, rubbing soft patterns on her hips through the fabric of her dress.

His thoughts screamed at him in his head. Give me just one sign you don't want to go with him, and I'll ditch Vivica in a heartbeat if you want me to.

However, unfortunately for him, the girl merely nodded as she smoothed down the lapels of his suit jacket.

She hummed, not being able to meet his gaze.

"I should probably, um... Go down to meet them." She stuttered. “Before Casey and Vivica murder each other inside that limo.”

It suddenly really hurt that the gorgeous man in front of her was somebody else's for the evening.

"You should come, too. I mean, your tie is fixed now, and you look, um..." She struggled to find her words. "You look very good."

While Lenore cringes at herself, Nathan found it utterly endearing. It was adorable how she could not compliment him without blushing herself. Simply for his own amusement, he teased her.

"Yeah?" He asked softly, a smirk on his lips and in his voice as he tilted her chin up to look at him.

"Well, I mean, Vivica will like that, I guess, so… B-Because your tie is done, and… And she'll be impressed, like you wanted... She will think she look handsome." Lenore tried to explain, with no clue about what is supposed to be eloquence.

"And do you?" He asked challenging.

"Do I what?" The girl asked, legitimately confused.

"Do you think that I look handsome?" He smirked, looking at her up and down and flustering her even more.

"Well, I mean... Um..." She stutters.

Lenore did not have time to answer his question, because the door flew open. She practically leaped away from Nathan's arms, before nonchalantly walking across the room to greet her date.

"Hey, Lenore." Casey forced an impatient smile.

Nathan rolled his eyes at the fact that he thought he was cool by being so ridiculously nonchalant about greeting her, never mind being impolite.

"Casey! I'm sorry I'm running late. I was just about to come downstairs." She said, grabbing her clutch and flashing him a smile to try and distract him from the other boy in the room.

Her efforts obviously failed. Nathan wanted his presence known. He cleared his throat, standing up tall and offering a sarcastic smile to Valentine.

"Prior." The blond teen greeted him with a glare, suspicion in his voice, but electing to ask his date directly. "What's he doing here?"

The use of third person right in front of him made Nathan's blood boil.

"Oh, Nate was just, um..." She trailed off, biting her lip and looking up at her raven-haired friend for help.

"Waiting for you." He spoke. "I’m sure that Vivica told you that I’m her date and you’re supposed to give me a ride, Valentine. Speaking of which, I’m going downstairs to greet her. Don’t take long."

When Nathan moved right between her and her date to get out of the door, she smiled amusedly. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, eliciting the rage of the other boy.

"Save me a dance, beautiful." Nathan whispered in her ear so Valentine could not hear.

Lenore looked sullen when she and Casey shortly emerged from the stairs into her parents’ living room, where Nathan was standing with a sour Vivica and her excited father holding up a camera.

The mood did not improve when they finally reached school grounds. As his date glared at her brother beside him, feeling every bit as disgusted with the couple as himself, he watches her intently from across the room. The small frown on her lips as she stood silently with Casey and his mates as he chatted endlessly, one overly possessive arm still around her.

Nathan knew, from when her eyes met his from across the packed-full gym, and the small smile that Lenore gave him, that even if the both of them were going to have an awful night, they would still have that one precious dance together.

*_*_*_*_*

Growing Up Masterlist

[jams-sims]

Growing up needs to be on game pass or something. Cause as much as I love the game each time I've tried to link it to my Google play account. It has not save and I've been forced to start all the way over.

Like- for instances my first playthrough I didn't romance anyone. I lost my game started over- second time I played. I got Nathan!

Which I wish I could have kept playing from their. Because I really loved his romance route. It felt like the most natural vibing one out of the 1 I played. My phone decided to kill itself so I lost everything again.

I could just buy it on PC but to me it fit prefect as a game to chill and play on my phone.

[bobbieisthebest]

Jake: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Juniper: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Jake:... I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel: Oh look, I survived! Brilliant! Love it when I do that!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flick: Bobbie was going to run into a metal bar so we yelled ‘duck’

Patty: She proceeded to turn and quack at us before slamming into the bar.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buddy: Jake’s in trouble!

Richard, not looking up: Jake's always in trouble.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam: 'You'll never find the body' is such a boring threat. A better threat would be; 'You'll never stop finding the body.'

Kato: Or just say, 'They'll be finding parts of you for at least four months…and you'll still be alive for three of them.'

Nate: Now that's a threat!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel: I love unnecessarily ominous statements, and I will still love them when there's nobody alive to make them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charles: Jake, are you high?

Jake, clearly high: Hello. Am I what?

Bobbie: High.

Jake: Hello.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel, in holding with Wendy after skipping school: Everything will be alright.

Wendy: How can you say that?

Joel: Because sometimes when things get tough, denial is all we have.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*During the CnS campaign*

Joel: you’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens-

explosions are heard from his tape recorder

Joel: …but I made a mistake.

Kato:...roll for initiative McGee.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juniper: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Alicia: What changed your mind?

Juniper: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richard: Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mort with his gang: Why can’t we all just get along?

Patty: Because most of you are assholes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel: I am an expert at identifying birds.

Charles: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Joel: Yeah, they're all birds.

Nate: *falls over laughing*

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Coach: Fletcher, is that a gun?

Jake, deciding against all odds that he’s going to gaslight himself out of this situation: what gun.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam to Juniper: I’m in love with you. You just want to be friends. And I’m totally cool living with that constant pain.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charles: Oh, give me patience.

Patty: I think you mean 'give me strength.'

Charles: If it gave me strength, you'd be dead.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Lad to the other mentors: Are any of you happy?

Elliot: I cross the street without looking.

[bobbieisthebest]

Joel, holding a baseball bat: There’s no need to be afraid of me. I don’t bite.

Mort, standing a safe distance away: Yeah, but do you wack?

Joel:

Joel: I don’t bite.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charles: I don’t know about this, Jake.

Jake: The last time you said that Hoffer you ended up loving it.

Charles: The last time I said that you were holding a bag of durian flavored chips; now you’re holding a roman candle. They are two very different things.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nate: You remind me of a Russian doll.

Alicia: Aw, thank yo—

Nate: Full of yourself.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kato: If anyone has any questions, ask me.

Bobbie: If a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?

Kato: ... If anyone has any RELEVANT questions, ask me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wendy (a warlock): Do we not have a plan?

Sam, playing barbarian: Who needs a plan? I’ve got an axe.

Sam: *starts running ahead*

Kato, the very tired DM: An axe is not a plan!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flick: One time Jake and Juniper were having a heated argument in the car and Juniper took Jake's Queen tape out of the player and threw it out the window with rage and Jake looked her dead in the eyes and pulled out a second copy of that same tape and put it back in the player.

Buddy:...And Jake’s still alive?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dad: Tell your mother everything is fine.

Joel: Hey, Mom! We haven't eaten for days, your plants are dead, and I'm dropping out of school. Love ya, bye!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kato: What? Didn't I specifically tell you not to do specifically, exactly just that?

Alex: Actually, specifically, you said not to *humiliate* you by doing that. So, we won't!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richard: 99% of the time, whenever random violent crap happens, it seems you're somehow involved!

Joel: Can't you have a little faith in that last 1%?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buddy: *screams*

Joel: *screams louder to establish dominance*

Flick, concerned: Um, shouldn’t we do something?

Patty: No, I want to see who wins this time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake: Fun fact of the day: pen ink tastes like almonds..... don't try to suck the ink out of your pens kids it's disgusting and makes your mouth feel funny.

Patty: Why would you even do that?

Jake *shrugs*: I was bored.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bobbie at Alicia’s house: I love jacuzzis!

Bobbie: Sometimes I pretend that I'm getting captured by witches and they're using me to make soup!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juniper: I know this is going to sound sarcastic, but this is a great plan and I’m really impressed with you guys.

Buddy:

Nate:

Sam: Don’t listen to her, this is a great plan.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wendy: Kato, are you sure you don't wanna use my graduation speech? It goes like this: Later, losers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alicia: Due to enormous personal flaws I refuse to work on, I will be arriving extremely late with an iced coffee. Please respect that.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juniper: I am so hungover. I have never been this hungover. Are we dead?

Alex: I feel great, I ran 5k this morning.

Flick: Really?

Alex: No I threw up in the shower.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel: My life is a cautionary tale, but like a cool, flashy one that instead of inspiring people to do better it inspires them to be more chaotic

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juniper: can we go to a haunted house?

Mom: what’s wrong with the one we live in?

Joel: wh- wait what?!

Mom: goodnight Children.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Humphrey: Mr. Jake, what’s your favorite food?

Jake, deadpan: Children.

Flick: JACOB!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nate: Are you crazy?

Joel: Legally no, there's not a word for my condition.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charles: [casually taking four stairs at a time]

Wendy, falling behind: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fu-

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kato: Dear people who won’t stop asking- Yes, I am actually feeling fine, and yes, I really have been getting a decent amount of sleep at night!

Kato *bites into an onion*

Kato: Hey, this apple tastes like shi-

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richard: *puts a cup down over a spider*

Joel: *appears; smiles; puts 2 more cups down beside Jay’s*

Richard: Come on, Joel, please no, don’t… DON’T—

Joel: *starts shuffling the cups*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake: Hoffer, in your professional opinion, how would I die?

Charles: Murder. Gangland style execution. We never find your head.

Nate: That’s a shame.

Patty: *slightly raises finger in question*

Charles: You slip in a tub.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buddy about Jake: I'd follow him to hell and back, but I wish he'd stop going there.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bobbie: I love to dismiss my horrible decisions by saying "yeah that was a weird time in my life" as if the rest of my existence hasn't been absolute clown shoes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alicia: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juniper: When I was small-

Kato: *chuckles* Was?