I think there's a thing where odysseus killed palamedes so palamedes dad went around sabotaging the other kings relationships or smth?
but I dont recall if he tried to take revenge on penelope? who's the actual wife of the guy who killed his son?
Yes there is the tradition that Nauplius, the father of Palamedes tried to avenge his son against most kings. But the weapons he used according to later sources were much more indirect.
He tried to ruin the households of the kings from the very root by encouraging the wives be unfaithful to their husbands. Later traditions seem to attribute to Nauplius the yielding of Clytemnetsra to Aegisthus or Aegialia take lovers to her bed. The ultimate revenge that seems to be attributed to Nauplius against Odysseus seems to be that since obviously Penelope didn't take the bait to shame her husband by cheating that he encouraged the Cephallinian leaders push their sons as suitors to the house of Penelope
So you may say in this train of thought Nauplius caused the eating away of Odysseus's wealth and almost the uprooting of his own household and almost the murder of his son by encouraging more than 100 young men court his wife and declare Odysseus dead for his own kingdom.