#nbooth

[possibly1mprobable]

17/12/2016

I don’t know what’s going on with my weight anymore, somehow I’ve managed to gain 5kg of muscle in a span of 2 days despite not exercising? Whaa? It also seems to fluctuate really rapidly depending on the time I weigh myself? digital scales are awful, I don’t know why I even bother with them.

I also decided to watch Rouge One today... I honestly can’t say that I liked it all that much... It was mildly entertaining but really should have just been a straight to DVD kind of thing, it’s was just so average.

[possibly1mprobable]

16/12/2016

It was a pretty lazy day today, I played around with the raspberry pi, and was disconnected from the internet again despite paying my rent, although I’m being told that the house manager didn’t change any settings, but I believe otherwise because it’s just conveniently happened after the I.T. guy mentioned that the internet issues only started to “happen” when I moved in... Which I know for a fact is absolute bullshit considering I heard my share of complaints about it before I even moved in, honestly I’m just sick to death of fucking everything but there isn’t much I can do without being super imposing or resort to moving back home, which doesn’t really look like a feasible option considering dad’s moved his office into my room because my brother’s moved all of his extra crap back into his old room... SFMEL.

[possibly1mprobable]

14/12/2016

Honestly I don’t really remember what I did today because of the double dose of seroquel I took last night, I do remember that it was hot and that I handed in two resume’s though, it was also really hot at night and I was sweating my arse off because of it...

[possibly1mprobable]

13/12/2016

Urgh, today was ssssuuuuccchhh a hooooottt dddaaaayyyy... My plants were super thirsty and one of them even died sadly...With that being said, as long as I still have a rose though I’m pretty happy, it’s looking like it’s growing nicely at the moment, and it also looks like I might have an orange sapling growing as well which would be pretty amazing to add to my little garden!

I also went to see my parents today, I mowed the lawn at their place, and got a battery charger and my water sprayer so that I could spray the lawn with some seasol, hopefully doing that will actually work though and not kill everything it touches, because that would kind of really suck... I don’t really use fertiliser much, mainly because it usually really smells and I keep the plants on a windowsill in my bedroom, so yeah... That plus I know that too much of a good thing does usually seem to fuck shit up, so I’m going to try and keep it down to about once a week or so and see how things go... So far the plants are doing pretty well though, so that’s awesome!

[possibly1mprobable]

12/12/2016

Today was a hot day, thankfully it wasn’t as hot as monday last week though, that was a hot day...

I had lunch with one of my house mates today and I didn’t have to pay either, which was really cool of him, I just kind of feel bad that I couldn’t really pay apart from giving him a lift to and from home (even though it’s like, a 5 minute walk, still it’s hot shh!). After having lunch with my housemate I saw my psychologist and we semi-confirmed that I had issues with disassociation... And I say semi-confirmed because 1. she’s a psychologist, not a psychiatrist, and 2. the method we used was online because her test (which had the same questions) didn’t have a calculator and she thought my results were high when they were actually only just on the line, so yes, it happens, but it’s not major, but that’s pretty much just confirming what I already knew... Which was exactly like basically everything else regarding my mental health apparently and it’s frustrating as fuck that I’m not listened to by my psychiatrists, but there’s not much I can do about that unfortunately.

In other news I also saw louise again today, I’d really like to ask her out, but I’m not really seeing any super obvious signs that she’s really into me like that apart from the occasional opening up to, plus I still don’t really know if I actually WANT to go out with anyone really... I really just want someone to cuddle occasionally honestly... Like a pet, but I’d much prefer someone I can talk to as well...

[possibly1mprobable]

10/12/2016

I’m not sure about what I should say about today... I watered and pinched my plants like I do every so often, I got annoyed at my housemates passive aggressively like I seem to every day because they’re absolutely fucking gross and don’t do anything for themselves apart from eat and sleep (although how they manage to do even that without some form of alcoholic beverage or illegal drug seems beyond my comprehension... At least two of them don’t completely suck though... One of them doesn’t even come out of his room though which is why he doesn’t annoy me I guess, but when he does it’s because he’s using olive oil on his scalp and being really fucking gross anyway, so I don’t even know... N is pretty cool but he has his moments where I don’t agree even slightly with him but I have to grin and bare it, but I guess people do that with me as well... Including myself.)

I also saw my high school friends today, that was alright... They started without me again, which I did say I didn’t mind when I was back in mona vale, but now I don’t even know... Honestly I feel like the world is against me... I think it might be in reaction to the fact that I took one pill less than I normally do earlier in the week because I ran out of medication, but that shouldn’t really be the reason... should it? like, does 60mg less of duloxetine for one night REALLY fuck me up that much??? I certainly know that taking none of it at all (accidentally, even without realising it) does later in the week, but I should be fine with at least SOME of it, shouldn’t I? I wish I has taking less and less in small doses without knowing to see if it’s just my brain doing a placebo thing or if I do actually need it... Because I certainly know for sure that if I do it because I forgot I get super fucked up because of it much later on in the week...

[possibly1mprobable]

08/12/2016

I was going to clean the other two houses today, but it was ridiculously hot again and I still haven’t been paid for the previous fortnight, so I really didn’t feel like doing anything today... I also waited on hold with centrelink for an hour after being continuously being disconnected every time I called... I eventually got through though and got my rent assistance, so I’m happy... More or less...

[possibly1mprobable]

07/12/2016

Not a lot really happened today;

I saw my mum and had lunch with her, I bought new earplugs, I fell into a nostalgia pit, and I played pokemon moon a bit, I’m close to finishing, but I need to level up a bit more before I can wipe the floor with the champion...