✧ ˚ warning: binge eating, eating disorder, self-deprecation, mc is underweight
✧ ˚ disclaimer: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. the characters do not reflect the personality of the actual artists themselves, and should be treated as separate beings.
✧ ˚ author notes: omg so this is just smth that i kinda wanna make a series with, an 8th member of nct dream! altho, this drabble is a bit personal for me(i won’t elaborate further) but you must read the warnings b4 proceeding bc it can be triggering to someone!
✧ ˚ word count: 791 words
Sneaking out of the shared bedroom with Renjun proved to be easy than you expected. You expected him to wake up from how you move a lot in your bed, considering he’s been restless ever since the promotions, but he was dead asleep when you stood up from the bed. You didn’t want to disturb his well-deserved rest so you tip-toed away.
Although staying awake late at night is a bad idea, you couldn’t bring yourself to care when you felt a large craving for food. You recently learned that you were alarmingly underweight and it’s been eating up your mind. It became a nightly occurrence where you sneak in at midnight to eat whatever you can get your hands on.
However, you wouldn’t ever steal your member’s food, of course. That’s why you spent a lot on snacks. If you’re lucky and you’re alone, you’re most likely to order. Jaemin has been complaining that you’re hogging the cabinet space and the fridge with the number of snacks you’ve been buying.
You scoffed at yourself. You didn’t see the younger ones complaining, and you don’t mind when they help themselves with the things you buy.
You opened the fridge, mouth watering at the sight in front of you. You grabbed at the first thing you could see, which is a milk carton. You slid down to the counter behind you, drinking the milk in one gulp.
Tonight might’ve been the luckiest you’ve ever felt since you’ve just recently restocked the snack supply and added the cartons of milk as a mix. You remembered Renjun’s mouth drop when he comes back seeing three cardboard boxes filled with your favorite snacks, ramen, and drinks(you threw in the tteokbokki as a bonus, too) and you stocking the cabinets.
They would’ve been suspicious by now, but that’s the normal life of someone with the same lifestyle you have. You’ve subjected yourself to intense diets to remain perfect in the public eye, and now you paid the price. You only noticed the signs when you felt yourself getting tired more easily than usual and how you would throw up occasionally after a heavy meal.
It was dark in the dorm, and only the light from the fridge is the only one illuminating the room. You grabbed the Honey Butter chips, picking a large amount to fit in your mouth. You eyed your next victim; the box of thin Oreos on the counter.
“(Y/N)?”
You jumped in surprise, not expecting anyone to come in to see your nightly routine. You turned around to see a flabbergasted Renjun looking at you.
“Oh my god, what is this mess?” he exclaimed, walking to your position. He started to pick up the empty carton of milk lying down on the floor. You didn’t even notice that you’d already finished it in one gulp.
Examining the object, he sighed, “So you’ve been the one finishing all our milk supply, and I thought it was Jeno or Jisung...”
Guiltily, you adjusted your sitting position, leaning your thighs against your chest. You didn’t want anyone of your members to see you in your miserable state, especially not Renjun. You are aware that he will be incredibly worried and fussy.
“R-Renjun, I can explain...”
You didn’t notice Renjun sitting next to your huddled position. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, knowing he’ll be squeezing you for answers. Not that it is a bad thing, since he does deserve to know at some point.
“(Y/N)...” he murmured, “You told me you didn’t want to have dinner earlier because you were full...”
“I was, and I’m not particularly hungry. I just felt like eating,” you explained briefly.
He tilted his head, “Just like the other nights you’ve been sneaking around?”
Your eyes widened, turning to look at him hastily. So he’s known all this time...
“Renjun please...”
“No, (Y/N), I feel as if it’s more than just that...” he said, his voice getting softer, “You don’t have to tell me, I just need to make sure you’re feeling okay...”
If it weren’t for you holding the bag of chips in your fist tightly, you would’ve grabbed Renjun and hugged him tightly. You held back the tears that are building up in your eyes. You don’t want to cry, not now. Not when you look like a mess on the kitchen floor.
“We can keep this our little secret, don’t worry.” he said, his shoulder now touching yours after he moved closer to you, “But you shouldn’t ever feel ashamed about yourself.”
You nodded, slowly eating a chip in your mouth.
“You shouldn’t eat so fast though, you might choke and die.”
Just though I'd drop by to write about a scenario that been heavy on my mind recently.
So, an NCT OC, whose stage name is Ace.
Hear me out.
Ace is an added member, and has been with the group since the debut of NCT 127. He's basically Mark 2.0 in the sense that he's in all the subunits, but that's really the only similarity.
He is that type of natural cute. Doesn't do aegyo often. Well, that's not really true. He's often cornered by the other members (in a nonaggressive and loving way, of course), to act cute, but his interpretation of "aegyo" is a little more tame than the standard. Like, he'll scrunch up his nose, fidget with fingers, and even use a higher pitched voice (all aegyo staples) but in a barely noticeable, hardly trying way, because honestly, it's not something he's invested in. He does it mainly to humor those around him.
Which leads us to another point, he never does anything exciting out of his own desire to do so. Ace has a very relaxed personality. He's the definition of endearing introvert and would just be sitting quietly in a corner for most of his life if it weren't for the other members constantly pushing him forward and putting him in the spotlight.
Another thing about him; he NEVER gets angry. Like never. But that isn't as frustrating as how hard it is to get him to give a genuine laugh. It not something he does naturally, but the poor boy has been exposed to so much at such a young that he's become desensitized to pretty much everything. Need some emotional support during a horror move -- he's your guy; and for most of the NCT guys he already is.
As for the laughing thing, after it was noted a couple of times, he really did make an effort to laugh more in front of the camera, if only to appease and reassure the fans (cutie). Here's the thing though, he's a smiler NOT a laugher. If he finds something amusing or funny he'll smile widely (btw HE HAS DIMPLES). Rarely does he laugh, and even when he makes a conscious effort to laugh, he ends up forgetting about it and will stop his little giggles ten minutes into the episodes. Fans and members have accepted this long ago, and its nothing more than just another endearing quirk. However, the members still like to poke fun at our little non-laugher by making a competition out of who would be able to get a chuckle or giggle from him. Jungwoo was the latest winner, his legendary spelling of BBQ managing to draw out a stifled laugh from Ace; something Jungwoo has taken great pride in and makes sure to bring up often, despite the fact that nearly all the other members had also collapsed, clutching their stomach and weeping with unbridled joy because of his little joke -- though that reaction seems insignificant in comparison to Ace's barely audible "haha." At least in Jungwoo's mind.
I guess that it for drabble 1 for my (NCT Oc). Maybe the next one will be less of idea vomit and a more structured telling of his background...we'll see.
ㅡ nct dream when their s/o is getting hate because they are destroying shippings
[TW: bullying, death wishes and mean words, mentions of anxiousness]
mark:
mark always knew that fans liked it if he interacted with haechan in any way there could be. whether it was cuddly, or a fight or just looking at each other, he knew fans would go crazy over them, thinking they were soulmates. for him it was only a matter of time until fans would start to attack his s/o claiming "they're taking mark away from haechan". he could understand them quite well but at the same time he could only imagine how awful you must feel with the hate of a whole fandom on your shoulders.
when he saw you alone in your room scrolling though your phone with tears brimming in your eyes he immediately knew what was up, yet, didn't know what to say or what to do. awkwardly he took a few steps in your direction, making your head shot up to look at him. he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces when he saw you trying to wipe your tears away, hiding the fact that the fans word hurt your in a different way than before. quietly he came closer and engulfed your figure in a rather uncomfortable hug, but for you, him being there was just enough.
"don't worry babe, they will realize that I can have a partner and be close to donghyuck at the same time.."
renjun:
he never felt like he was part of a big ship inside nct anyways so the thought that you, his cute and precious s/o could get hate for exactly that never crossed his mind. yet, he heard the news of nctzen wanting to ruin your groups upcoming comeback he was furious. he always thought he'd be able to protect you from any kind of hate, but this time it seems he wasn't careful enough.
without thinking any further he shit up from the couch he previously sat on and made his way out of nct's dorm and over to your groups dorm. luckily, the walk to your dorm took him a few minutes, resulting in him having calmed down a bit.
once he arrived he knocked on the door. your leader opened with a worried expression on her/his face, instantly guiding him to your room and explaining how embarrassed your were that you hadn't thought about this happening any sooner. entering your room he didn't waste a second in hugging your cuddled up body sitting in the corner of the room, as an attempt to hide from renjun. after a long night of talking about the issue the two of you agreed that he and his members would post online about how they think this behavior is very wrong and that they should think from position as well.
"i'm so sorry that i couldn't prevent this from happening! do you think they will stop if i post something online?"
jeno:
he would be the quickest member to act after he heard the news. you and jeno always had a really close bond to each other, even before dating, so for him it was easy to know when you were feeling uncomfortable, hurt, angry or anything else. even without looking at you.
he had just been lying on his bed playing games the whole day when he suddenly had this feeling of uncomfort in his stomach. thinking for a few seconds he though of you and quickly closed his game to call you, already getting worried and worked up. when you didn't answer his worries just doubled and he decided it would be best to just come over and make sure you were alright.
arriving at your apartment he rang the doorbell, after 3 minutes of no one opening though he took the spare key you hid to casually let himself inside. closing the door he made his way to your room, slightly worried yet hoping you would be peacefully lying on your bed enjoying a movie. his hopes were crashed when he found your phone shattered on the ground and you trembling on the floor right beside it.
in less than a second he was by your side slowly counting to twenty with you in order to stop your body from shaking. once you were calm he'd ask you what's wrong and after hearing it he was more than mad. he spent the rest of the night by your side to prove that he will always stay with you and that he certainly is not mad at you in any way. once he goes home though he makes sure to speak to his manager and ask the fans to stop sending you those messages.
"baby it's okay, i'm here. can you count to 20 for me baby?"
haechan:
donghyuck has this nature where usually first makes fun of the person that had something happening. whether it was being slightly stupid, slightly hurt or just slightly getting roasted. but when he saw the amount of pain on your face that you desperately tried to hold back he didn't think any of this was funny anymore.
everything was fine at first, you and donghyuck were on a date at the park since both of you had some free time after your recent comebacks. the day seemed to be perfect, until two of his fans came running towards the both of you, shoving you to the ground, telling you that you could never replace mark and that they would hate you and your group until you would stop being an idol and kill yourself already.
donghyuck looked at the two of them in shock before trying to kindly tell them to fuck off. his first though was to make fun of the situation, thinking you didn't take their words seriously anyways. however, once he turned around he was met with your pained expression, trying to hold your tears from falling. reaction immediately he crouched down next to you, pulling you up and bringing you home as fast as he could, never once stopping holding you close.
after arriving at the dorm he'd give you a hoodie of his to change into and would continue on by talking to you about what happened and reassuring you that those word shouldn't have an impact on you. and if they do, he would always be there to change your mind and make you feel better.
"i understand it if those words hurt you, but please remember, i will always be here to make you feel better. i mean it"
jaemin:
one of the members that would be able to understand the fans to a certain degree. he did know that the ship between him and jeno had always been big so he knew that some fans were going to be disappointed after finding out about his relationship. however, he never thought that nctzen would start sending you hate and demanding sm entertainment to kick you out of your group. to him, all of this seemed weird.
the first thing he did upon hearing the news was to take out his phone and post on social media how disappointed he was in his fans for insulting someone over such a small issue. he wrote a long letter about each of your guys perspectives, how he feels helpless, how you would start to hate yourself too and how jeno would feel bad for potentially destroying yours and jaemins relationship. he ended the letter telling the fans to calm down and see, because in the end he will still be really close to jeno and his members so his fans had nothing to fear.
after posting he went down to the nearest grocery store to buy some ice cream and flowers he could take to your dorm, as evidence that he wasn't going to break up and that he still loved you.
"hey cutie! i though we could watch some movies together? i also brought you flowers, they're as beautiful as you!"
chenle:
he really didn't understand anything the fans said. yes, he knew that him and jisung were really close, best friends but what does that have to do with his s/o? poor baby doesn't understand anything, but he was determined to make you smile again.
you first heard the news when chenle's fellow member renjun walked into the living room proudly announcing that he is "glad that his s/o doesn't get hated on". yet, only after seeing yours and chenle's confused faces he realized he fucked up bad. chenle always told you to now look at rumors and hate being spread online but you couldn't contain your curiosity and searched up what was going on.
chenle didn't think before snatching your phone away after he gave renjun an intimidating glance. before you were able to read any of the nasty comments his fans wrote you saw your phone flying through the whole living room, finally landing and crashing near the kitchen where taeyong gave the two of you a confused look.
"don't you dare look at that! remember: as long as we have each other we don't have to care about stupid rumors and hate! all you need is my love baby"
jisung:
jisung would also be one of the members who'd understand the fans to nearly the fullest. he knew that him and chenle were inseparable so it instantly clicked in his head when doyoung told him that fans were bullying you because you destroyed what they thought were soulmates. at first he would be a little slow in realizing that you were hurt from the fans words but as soon as the words "she locked herself in the bathroom and won't come out" he slowly got up, and worried expression spreading on his face.
he went over to the bathroom and lightly knocked on the door, still slightly unsure if you were actually crying or just doing your business or something. to his luck the door didn't have a lock, which was why he just stormed in after hearing soft sniffling coming from the inside of the bathroom.
once he spotted the tears on your cheeks and the wet spots from previous tears on your sweater he froze. he wanted to be there for you, but his body didn't want to move. just when you asked him to hug you his body gave in to his heart and he hugged you tighter than ever, whispering soft words of love in your ear. letting you know that he will always be there for you and that he does indeed love chenle, but he will never, and he really means never tolerate anyone sending you hate for such an unjustifiably reason as that.
"y/n.. i seriously love you! please talk to me next time.. no wait! i'll make sure there won't be a next time!!"
Words to describe the ship ━ Caring, low-key, common interest
Song to describe the ship ━ Stay by Ateez
These two are a lot closer than people believe them to be. However, compared to the relationship Perrie has with the other Dream members, it is easy to believe these two aren't as close. However, out of all the members, Perrie is most similar to Renjun in likes and dislikes. The two share very similar hobbies and these are actually what brought them closer to one another. The two of them both really like drawing, painting, etc and they like to share and do this together because they have different techniques and ideas.
The two do not spend a lot of one on one time together but whenever Perrie was in Dream or when she was visiting the Dream members, she always made sure to take care of him and watch out for him just like she did for the other members. Since Perrie is the oldest in Dream, she feels like she has to live up to that role and take care of her members. While they all try to make it easier on her, Renjun is someone who tries to help her out the most since he is the third oldest.
When Renjun first started to get to know Perrie and when he learned about her BPD, he was a bit confused on how to act around her and it did cause some slight awkwardness but that was quickly fixed with the help of the other members. Honestly, he felt bad that she had to deal with that on top of the hate and everything she gets. Therefore, it set his resolve to help her out more.
The fans really want to the two to release a song together. They have actually gotten snippets of what seemed like a song, but nothing has ever been released or announced. However, Perrie has mentioned that she likes to use Renjun's voice for her demos - especially when it comes to slower and more emotional songs. Perrie thinks that he does a very good job at capturing emotions in a song so she likes to include him in it. They also come up with concept art together sometimes. Although, it has never been used yet but Perrie has shown previous work they've done together on Vlive.
𝓙𝓮𝓷𝓸
Type of ship ━ Semi-romantic, best friends, Pragma
Words to describe the ship ━ open, close, comfort, understanding
Song to describe the ship ━ Hug by Seventeen
Honestly, one of the most underrated friendships. The two have called each other their best friends multiple times. While they may not always have a lot of obvious on screen moments, if you look close enough you can see them subtly taking care of one another - especially Jeno. As a result many people have pointed out how Jeno is very tsundere like with her. Whenever she is struggling with something, he is always one of the first to help but he doesn't make a big deal of it. However, Perrie is still a very affection person and Jeno is someone who will always accept it. It is not uncommon to see Perrie leaning against him or resting her head on him.
Both have very chill personalities and are usually the more docile ones out of the Dreamies, so the two tend to be together a lot. As a result, the two have gotten very close to one another. The two tend to rant towards one another whenever they need to get something off of their chests. Whenever, this happens one person will just listen and offer the other person any type of comfort they want. This usually led to them ordering in food and watching a film until they fell asleep. He has also convinced her to play video games with him some of these times. As a result of this, the two have a very good understanding of one another and can read one another very well.
While compared to Perrie, he might not be as physically affection, but he has claimed the spot as Perrie's #1 fan. She's released a song? He's already heard it. She has a moment on stage? He's seen it. He just seems to know everything about her and keeps an eye on her even when they are not together. He constantly supporting her in both obvious and less obvious ways.
The two have multiple matching jewelrys. The main ones are their ear piercings and the rings they were on their pinky fingers. They got custom rings and made them to fit their pinky finger because they have a handshake that require them to connect them. They also tend to kiss each others rings before going on stage as a pre-stage ritual.
𝓳𝓪𝓮𝓶𝓲𝓷
Type of ship ━ Flirty, close friends, Romantic, Philia
Words to describe the ship ━ Loving, affectionate, caring, doting
Song to describe the ship ━ Let me love you by Ne-Yo.
Are they dating? Or are they just best friends? With their friendship, there are time people are 50% sure there is something going on, and then the other time people are 50% sure that they are just close friends. The both are very affectionate people and Jaemin was actually one of the first members to be physically affectionate with her so he kind of broke that awkwardness between her and the rest of the boys being affectionate.
Jaemin is someone who dotes on the people he cares off, so it is not uncommon to see him dotting and taking care of Perrie. Perrie does the same but her ways seems abit more harsh. She really worries about him and his habits - especially his coffee - so she tries to make sure he is taking care of himself. She has on a few occasions where he ate nothing and tried to drink coffee, thrown away his drink when he wasn't looking. When he went on his hiatus, Perrie made sure to keep in contact with him so that he would not feel or harder any negative feelings like feeling that he was letting the other members down by not being able to promote. Then when Perrie went on her Hiatus, he wanted to do the same thing but was unsure about how to approach the situation since they were quite different.
When Perrie got back from her hiatus, there was a change in Jaemin that not many people would notice. He was obviously caring beforehand, but after her hiatus he seemed to make it his mission to keep her happy and as a result sometime he would treat her like she was younger than him. However, even if this bothered her sometimes, she tried not to say anything after she learned why he was acting this way.
One thing many fans have pointed out is the way he looks and acts towards her. Whenever she is talking or trying to get others to listen - like the dreamies - he will always give her his undivided attention. The two of them are also very unfiltered with one another. If he ever has a questions, no matter how embarrassing or personal they are, Perrie is one of the first ones he will go to.
𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓷𝓵𝓮
Type of ship ━ mother-son, Familial
Words to describe the ship ━ Caring, genuine,
Song to describe the ship ━ Brave by Sara Bareilles
Sometimes he is her favorite child, other times he is the annoying little brother your stuck with but still adore and would do anything for. First off do not sadden, anger, or hurt him because Perrie will not hold back on protecting him and making sure he is happy and laughing. Since he is one of the youngest of the group, Perrie feels like she needs to watch out for him and make sure the idol life isn't affecting him to much.
Perrie is someone who ends up teaching him a lot without even realizing. Perrie is someone who can be very blunt and honest, so she doesn't tend to sugarcoat many things like other people do and this has lead Chenle to learn things from her both directly and indirectly. Fans have pointed out the Chenle seemed to have adapted many of her mannerisms and way of talking, which many find quite adorable.
The two have a very pure and loving relationship. Perrie is very affectionate and Chenle is someone who will soak up her affection and is never shy about rubbing it in the other member's faces. Chenle really loves her voice and he has a playlist on her phone that is composed of just her songs or songs she was featured in. His ringtone is also one of his favorite songs that he got Perrie to sing for him.
No one know this except fo the other members, but when Perrie had to get surgery, all of the 127 members were busy so Chenle ended up staying with her almost everyday at the hospital with her. He nearly convinced her to stay at his house for a little bit but Perrie in the end said no because she did not want to intrude on his parents, even though she talks to them regularly - most to let them know about how Chenle is doing.
𝓙𝓲𝓼𝓾𝓷𝓰
Type of ship ━ Familial, brother-sister
Words to describe the ship ━ loving, clingy, family
Song to describe the ship ━ stand by you by Rachel Platten
Perrie may not admit that she has a favorite member, but many people suspect that it is Jisung. Towards debut and before, the two of them were very close and many people noticed how he tended to stick by her. This was because she was actually the first person he met when he entered SM. However, there were some people who spun this out of control and said their friendship was odd because of the age difference. People went after Hannah calling her names because she openly cared for him - more so compared to other members - and others went after him calling him a moocher because of how he tended to gravitate towards her in a lot of situation.
However, after a few years people noticed that two were getting closer again. Whenever it comes to affection, he usually doesn't like being babied, but when it comes to Hannah that is a completely different story. She will baby him like no one else and in the end he always melts and allows it. However, it is never in a way that make him feel like a toddler, but rather just someone who Hannah adores. Like with Chenle, Hannah will do anything to make sure he is happy and not being disrespected.
There is just a difference with their friendship compared to others. They have a very soft friendship and many people notice how important their friendship is with one another. Hannah is someone who he has no problem opening up to and he really does depend on her whenever he is feeling stressed or missing his family. Hannah wants the younger members to have something similar to a childhood so she will spoil them, but especially Jisung because he is the youngest. Anything he wants, he will get. If he wants to go out at 2 in the morning and no one else will, even if she is sick or tired she will still agree.
The two of them love dancing with one another. He really looks up to her when it comes to dancing and will always ask for her input and help. He prefers when its is just the two of them together in the studio so he will always try to convince her to tell the other members to leave - since most of the time they will listen to her. People are continually asking for a video of them dancing together. The two of them joined 'Why not the dancer?" together.
“Who are we working with?” Hyejin whined, “Why won’t you tell me?”
Popping her lips, Sophia turned and looked at Hyejin. They had been reluctant on telling Hyejin who they were working with for this album, after all, they didn’t want to scare the poor girl.
“Do you know the producing trio, Groovyroom?” Sophia asked.
Jinmi sighed and turned around, “We’re going to Higher Music,”
Hyejin’s eyes went wide and she shook her head, trying to open the door by reaching across Jinmi. The two eldest members shoved her together, Sophia wrapping her in a hug.
“Shh, it’s okay,” Sophia hummed.
“There real rappers,” Hyejin began to cry, “They’re scary!”
“The manager will be there and so will we,” Jinmi explained, “Nothing will happen to you,”
Tears rolled down the youngest cheeks, Sunmi turning her head from the front seat with a disappointed look on her face. They looked like a family, a mother scolding her children for making the baby cry.
“Why did you tell her?” Sunmi snapped.
“She was going to find out anyway,” Sophia shrugged, “Why not prepare her?”
Sunmi shook her head while Hyejin sobbed.
“They wear gold teeth and swear and they have tattoos!” She sobbed.
The second eldest had to look out the window and cover her mouth, attempting not to laugh. Hyejin truly was a sheltered child.
As they pulled into the underground parking lot of the building, Jinmi looked out curiously. Usually people tried to break into SM’s parking lot, plenty of saesangs or over excited fans but no one was watching.
Even walking to the elevator was a breeze, no cameras flashing from a distance. It was honestly a big relief.
They all piled into the elevator with their manager, who was on the phone. Hyejin was attempting to cling to Sunmi although Sophia had to pick her up and place her in the elevator.
It wasn’t long before they were greeted by the trio in a meeting room.
“Hello,” Sunmi announced, “We are NCT XX,”
“Hello,” Hwimin had the biggest smile on his face, while Gyujeong waved from beside him, Nari simply nodded.
The girls took their seat, beginning to discuss their views for the next album.
“We want to do a more hip hop sounding album and music,” Sunmi explained, “A lot of our music in the past has high lighted our vocals but we want to put the focus on our rappers,”
“That’s not a very SM move,” Nari commented, only for Hwimin to nudge her.
“We can do that,” Gyujeong nodded, “Which of you are rappers?”
Jinmi scratched her cheek, “I wouldn’t call myself a rapper, I just had the best talent for it out of the three of us,”
“Our lead rapper is Hyejin,”
All eyes turned to the youngest, who had a juice box in her hands and sniffling slightly. She whined in response.
