#needs based communication

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“According to Marshall Rosenberg, "no conflict exists at the level of human needs" because all humans share the same fundamental needs, and conflict only arises when people clash over the different strategies they use to meet those needs.”

~ Google’s AI on Nonviolent Communication

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I wake up this morning feeling hopeful. I always saw the world differently than it wanted me to. I never thought it was "fair" or even healthy to view the world in ways that made anyone better than or less than. We're fundamentally the same. I always had a sense there was a better way to connect people. I just saw so many misunderstandings which stemmed from miscommunications or dangerously conditioned minds in positions of dominance. ...I always knew there was a healthier way to handle things.

I've been in situations where worn out home managers have made unrealistic, authoritative umbrella statements which left certain needs unmet and unaddressed which left me questioning them. I believe no individual should have any functional power over any other; either by direct force or by giving them no choice but to work themselves into such exhaustion that they have no capacity to educate themselves or to ask questions.

No human has any fundamental right to dictate the lives of others.

I keep drawing ties to how NVC/compassionate communication offer a language and a framework of consciousness that finally puts words and cognition to what I've always known was true. At our core, we are the same.

We also don't grow *up*. We grow *out* so I find it baffling when people treat adults with more callousness and less care than children. Children are just new nervous systems. Adults are still those same nervous systems with added memories. Each memory has the capacity to override itself but those things don't happen until practical, lived experience tells us this new way is a proven path toward deeper connection which makes NVC a little harder to learn than riding a bike.

Everyone deserves compassionate empathy and effort.

NVC is still a fairly uncommon language model, though elements of it can be found all around us; that super compassionate nurse asking how you're feeling and what you're needing, a therapist prioritizing a language of needs, a writer using e-prime to guarantee crystal clarity in their wordplay... the NVC framework just compiles it all into an easily digestible educational structure.

...and I'd really like to prioritize that.

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Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is irl Star Trek language. First contact would go smoother if the Federation has identified all fundamental physical, emotional and sensual (not the Kirk kind) 👽 needs of a species and lead the conversation around those.

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Observation, feeling, need, request…

It’s not about what we say… it’s about reframing our thinking… then, choosing what we say… more carefully and clearly.

Compassionate Communication Training

Here is my 2016 Compassionate Communication Foundations Training. It includes the principles and practices of nonviolent communication and m

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If ever there were a scientific, unifying method of thoroughly, yet simply measuring and understanding human behavior and communication I posit an awareness of unifying, biologically foundational human needs and a comprehension of our shared neurological feelings.

Human behavior, like all of nature, acts upon a system of rules and influences. Our needs can be compared to simplified awareness of these biological rules and motivations. Our feelings, then, are markers and indicators of when needs are met and unmet.

An awareness herein, presents every individual with a comprehensive framework for self awareness and social awareness... making self-consciousness a bit easier and reducing the affects of misunderstandings and coercive peer pressure.

This may also make it a little harder for systems to manage self-award masses... Marshall did often say, “don’t be a chump.” Hierarchical systems of power-over domination sort of rely on crowds beings chumps.

Interdependence is essential for wholly met human needs. Imagined scarcity and “othering” of people, devaluing and dismissal of those we’ve defined as “different” from us is necessary for domination systems to justify actions.