you let me desecrate you (I wanna feel you from the inside)
rating: explicit
summary: aka the pure smut fic that grew out of a random prompt about Buck losing weight and Tommy going feral about it while also feeling guilty about the whole thing, touching his boyfriend constantly -- Buck has left the 118 and is living the good life at his boyfriend's house...and due to changing his diet, as well, has dropped enough weight that Tommy is now having unholy thoughts about the new and different things he can do with Buck's body
The first thing that Penelope was aware of was something soft tracing over her hair, almost as though she had forgotten to close one of her windows, the touch akin to a breeze slipping past—but there was no accompanying coolness that made her shiver, and so she slowly blinked her eyes open, wondering what it was…
…and took a sharp breath inward when she encountered the sight of Benedict Bridgerton kneeling beside her bed.
(aka a drunk Benedict declares Penelope is his new muse, and she learns to love herself in the process of him creating the most beautiful art that he had ever created)
NephilimEQ just inspired me with her wonderful work and gave me permission to post my artwork as a recommendation for her amazing fic.
How Did It End Up Like This by NephilimEQ
Have a look on AO3...
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Summary:
McKay touches a device...and suddenly is a nineteen year old teenager all over again! Not only does Sheppard have to keep Atlantis from impending danger, but he now has to deal with a teenage McKay who is much prettier than anyone expected. And he has to protect Atlantis from Rodney McKay! ...but will his feelings for him get in the way?
When Stiles can’t decide what to get for Derek’s Secret Santa present, he decides to give Derek himself. It doesn’t go quite like he thought it would.
Or, the one where Stiles expected sex, but got to help Derek with his computer virus instead (but still somehow ended up with a boyfriend for Christmas).
*****
A Gift to Unwrap
“I’m so glad we’re doing Secret Santa this year, I can’t afford to buy you all shit again,” Stiles said, lounging on Derek’s couch with his head off the side and his feet in the hair.
Lydia smacked his ankle when it got too close to her. “It’s not like you gave us all great gifts last year. You gave me pens.”
“What was wrong with pens? You like pens.”
“They were from the dollar store, Stiles.”
“Whatever,” Stiles flipped over, sitting properly. “I hope I get Derek, he appreciates my gifts.”
“Derek?” Allison looked over at him from her armchair, “he’s the worst to buy for, he isn’t happy with anything.”
“Hey, Derek loved the birthday present I got him!”
Allison and Lydia shared a confused look. It was just the three of them here, planning out secret santa as everyone else on the pack went for midnight wolf patrol. Stiles didn’t mind, he liked when team humans got to hang.
“Derek doesn’t celebrate his birthday…” Lydia finally said, turning back to him.
“Yeah, I know,” Stiles shrugged, “I just got him a photo album and filled it with all the family pictures of the Hales I could find. I dropped it off in the morning, we had some coffee, and I left. Derek didn’t have to celebrate, and I only had to spend like 5 bucks.”
They were both frowning now though. “How long did that take you?” Allison asked.
“Uh…” Stiles scratched his head, “a month or so?”
“A month or so?” Allison shook her head. “This year you gave me gum for my birthday!”
“Hey, you like gum!’
Lydia smirked, “don’t take it personally, Ally, Stiles only buys good presents for people he loves.”
“Woah- what? Who said - I don’t love anyone!”
Lydia laughed, “Stiles, you once bought me a TV! This year I got more dollar store pens. But Derek gets a whole photo album that you spent a month on? You’ve moved on from me and right on to him,” she grinned, “did you add little notes in it too?”
Stiles blushed, “no!… not that many! Shut up!”
“Relax, Derek likes you too,” she said. All nonchalant, like this wasn’t brand new information.
“What- what do you mean? Not that it - I don’t love him, or anything, but like what do you mean by that.”
“Okay,” Allison said, leaning back, “I can see it now.”
“Um, no? There’s nothing to see?”
“I guess we’ll find out next week,” Lydia said with a wink, “when you both get each other for Secret Santa.”
“You can’t just… cheat like that. Can you? Oh my God, what do you think he’ll get me?” They both laughed. Stiles was starting to see their point. “… not that it matters, what he gets me.”
“He’ll get you something sweet, I’m sure,” Lydia said. “You’ve kind of already outdone yourself with the photo album, but I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
“Aw, this is so sweet!” Allison said, smiling at Stiles blush. “Aw at New Years you two can kiss!”
Stiles didn’t even try to deny he liked that idea. And now that he was thinking about it, it was definitely not the first time he liked the idea of Derek kissing him.
Shit.
“Guys, I might like Derek…”
They looked at each other and laughed.
–
That weekend, when they pulled their Secret Santa names out of the hat, Stiles wasn’t surprised he pulled Derek’s name out. Lydia was a witch, she could do anything.
He watched carefully as Derek read his. He made no reaction, but Stiles noticed him glance towards him a minute later. Did you get Stiles’ name too? Was Lydia really doing this?
Was it normal to be this excited for Secret Santa?
Stiles wasn’t sure - but he didn’t care. He couldn’t wait for Christmas.
–
He realized as soon as he stepped into the mall, Lydia was right. He should have fucking waited to do the photo album for Christmas.
No one cared about their 26th birthday. It was a stupid age. Why did he go so big? Stiles had turned 22 this year, and Derek had just taken him out for dinner. He should have done that.
What the hell was he going to do now?
He had $20 he could spend and that was it. He walked past the dollar store but shook his head. Looked into H&M and scoffed. Derek would hate everything in this mall. Stiles wasn’t sure where he bought his ridiculously soft shirts, but it wasn’t here.
And they were probably more than $20s.
Cursing, Stiles back tracked. What could he do? He did the sentimental thing already, but maybe he could.. Add to that? Get… What, video recordings of his family?
No, that would just be creepy. He wasn’t fucking stalking the dead.
He could… draw him a picture? He was shit at art. He could… take him on a trip? At some point.. When neither of them were working.. And it was super cheap?
God he was doomed.
Stiles walked past La Senza and paused. The mannequin was dressed in a skimpy bra, but that wasn’t what he was looking at. It was also covered in bows, like the mannequin itself was the present.
Could… Stiles… be the present?
No, that was ridiculous.
Unless…?
No. Derek deserved a real present.
But maybe..?
Stiles bit his lip in thought. It would be better than dollar store pens at least.
He turned and made his way to the craft store. Time to spend his $20 on high end ribbon.
–
Stiles had on his tightest skinny jeans, the ones that Jackson said made his ass pop. He wore the shirt Lydia had given him, the one he thought had been a size too small but she insisted fit him better than anything else he owned.
Now, for the important layer. He pulled out the red ribbon.
He tied a loop around his chest, making a bow on his front. He tied another around his leg and made a bow on his thigh. He looped a ribbon down his left arm, starting from his shoulder and ending with a bow on his wrist.
He looked at himself in the mirror, a bit worried he had over done it.
“Well, my dad didn’t believe I was gay before, he should see me now.”
Although he and his dad had already had that talk. More than once, actually, after he caught Danny in his room in senior year. That had been awkward.
But they were good now. And Derek wouldn’t be such a surprise to him, he didn’t think…
You know, if Derek… actually liked him back. And wanted to date him. And be introduced to Stiles father as his boyfriend-
He was getting ahead of himself.
He took a deep breath. “Even if he doesn’t like me, the present is he has me for a full day. He can make me clean his windows if he wants.”
WIth that, Stiles pulled on his dad’s trench coat.
It was show time.
–
Stiles usually barged into Derek’s loft like he owned the place, but it felt weird to do that now, so he knocked.
It took a minute before Derek opened the door. He already looked confused, and his eyebrow rose up at the sight of him.
“Stiles.”
“Evening, Derek.”
“Why did you knock…. Why are you dressed like you’re going to flash me?”
Stiles felt his cheeks warm, “it’s, uh, for Secret Santa!”
“You’re going to flash me for Secret Santa?”
“No! I am,” he gestured at himself, “fully clothed underhere, I will have you know. But it is part of the present.”
Derek raised a brow, “the gift exchange is tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but… mine starts today.”
Derek shrugged, then stepped back to wave Stiles inside.
Palms sweating, Stiles stepped in and only hesitated a moment before he opened his coat. “Ta da!” He said, dropping the coat dramatically to the floor, “I am your present!”
Derek looked him up and down, eyes lingering on the bows, “okay.”
Stiles swallowed. He shouldn’t have worn his tightest clothes, could Derek see his sweat through his shirt already?
Fuck, could he smell it?
“And, uh, you can do whatever you want with me. For the next 24 hours.” Derek nodded, his eyes still on the bow on Stiles chest. Shit, maybe this was stupid. “Sorry, I thought… I’m kind of broke, and I - this was dumb-”
“No, it’s good,” Derek stepped toward him. Stiles’ heart started to race, he clenched his fists so they wouldn’t shake. This was the plan, right? This was the fucking point of the gift - make a big decleration and give himself to Derek, for a whole day, to do whatever.
But fuck, what if Derek was into weird shit? Stiles wasn’t a virgin, but he’d only been with two people before, and did that guy from college really count if all they did was handjobs? Stiles didn’t even remember his name. And fuck, what if this made Derek think all he wanted was sex? What if he was ruining a potentially amazing relationship because of one stupid -
All Derek did was reach behind him and close the door.
Of course.
Stiles cleared his throat.
“So, uh…”
“Come with me.”
Stiles obeyed, following Derek to the couch. Was Derek going to throw him on it? Ravish him?
He passed Stiles a laptop.
“You’re good at this stuff, right? I think I have a virus or something.”
“… what?”
“I have you for 24 hours, tonight you can help me with my laptop.”
“Oh, oh, okay, sure.” Stiles sat down, glancing down at the screen. He felt stupid for being relieved.
“After you figure out the virus thing, you can also help me get a netflix. And figure out how to get it on the TV? Lydia is refusing to set up pack movie nights anymore if we’re all going to complain about watching The Notebook everytime.”
“Alright,” Stiles leaned back on the couch, diving right in. By the state of Derek’s desktop, he had a feeling this might actually take him 24 hours.
–
Stiles slept over at Derek’s house that night, though it went very differently than he had imagined. He borrowed Derek’s sweats and a baggy T. He slept on the couch. He worked on his laptop until 2 am, and woke up to Derek making breakfast. Stiles joined him in the kitchen, making coffee beside him as he cracked eggs into a pan.
It was nice. Domestic.
Derek smiled at him as he passed over a mug of coffee, and Stiles smiled back.
This was way better than his original plan.
“So, your computer’s up and running, and can connect to the TV. What else do you need help with?”
“Cleaning.”
“… cleaning what?”
“The loft. The pack is coming over tonight for the Secret Santa exchange. Clean up, and when you’re done, help me make the Christmas cookies.”
Stiles shrugged, “okay.”
–
Cleaning wasn’t hard. Derek kept his place pretty impeccable anyway, so all Stiles had to do was some dusting and sweeping. Then he joined Derek in the kitchen, where he had already started baking.
The rest of the day went by so fast, Stiles ran out of time to go home. He changed back into the clothes he was wearing last night, minus the bows, and came back to find the pack already arriving.
He smiled at Derek as they passed out the food together. He imagined what it would be like if he really did live here, really did help Derek with every pack night. He thought they would make a good pair.
And when their shoulders brushed when they sat down together, Stiles didn’t feel nervous. In fact, he leaned into the touch a bit. And he didn’t miss the soft smile Derek sent his way when he did.
Yeah… he thought they would be great together.
The night went by in a blur, Stiles too focused on Derek’s warmth beside him to really pay attention to any of the presents everyone was opening.
He didn’t even notice people had started leaving until it was only him, Lydia and Allison left.
And Lydia and Allison were getting ready to go.
“Oh. I guess I should get ready to go too.”
“Aw, but you two look so cozy,” Allison said with a smirk.
Stiles flushed. Derek, thankfully, either didn’t notice her comment or ignored it. “I haven’t given you your gift yet,” he said. “You can’t leave.”
“Have fun getting your gift, Stiles,” Lydia said, winking, before she shut the door.
Stiles felt his face grow even hotter, but Derek still didn’t comment on it as he got up to get his present. Bless this man. Bless him and his new social tact.
Derek came back out with a present so big, Stiles felt a pang of regret for going with his stupid idea. He could have at least given him… socks, or something.
“Derek, you didn’t have to-”
“I did. After the photo album, I did.” He cleared his throat, “it’s not that big of a deal, I just didn’t know how to wrap it.”
Stiles didn’t believe him. The way Derek was carefully holding it, he didn’t think Derek fully believed it either.
When he ripped open the wrapping paper, he gasped, “Derek…”
It was a painting. A painting of him in his grad cap and gown, from his university graduation last summer. Beside him was his dad, in his suit, just like in their pictures, and on the other side…
“I tried to make her look a bit older, without changing her too much… your dad gave me a picture.”
“She’s beautiful,” Stiles whispered. His mother looked just like he remembered, he even knew the dress, but… there were wrinkles that he never got to see her have. A few gray hairs she never got to grow. His eyes started to burn, so he put the picture down on the table, taking a deep breath. “Derek, you really didn’t have to…”
“You didn’t have to give me the photo album.”
Stiles licked his lips. Derek leaned forward.
“I knew what you were doing. With your gift, I mean, I knew what you were trying to do.”
“You don’t - I shouldn’t have, I don’t want to force anything. It was stupid.”
“It wasn’t stupid, it was cute. I was just surprised. And you smelled really nervous, sweaty,” Stiles cursed himself, he knew Derek had smelled the sweat. “I didn’t want our first anything together to be with you under pressure. I want us to both want it.”
Stiles looked at Derek, how beautiful and sincere he was. He thought maybe he was already in love with this man.
“Do I smell nervous now?”
“No.”
They leaned forward at the same time, the kiss was soft. Perfect. Derek’s beard was smooth under his fingers.
When they pulled back, Derek grinned. “Can I unwrap my present now?”
Hello! I was watching a Sterek/Hobrien video on YouTube and saw your name in the bottom right corner of a clip of Tyler at a panel going on about Dylan's acting in season 3B of Teen Wolf. It's at 1:55 of a video called "i'd let Dylan direct it//hobrien". I was wondering what panel this is from, because I cannot seem to find it anywhere. Since you are the one with the original watermark, is it possible you could help me find it?
Hello!!
I watched the video just to confirm and yes it’s one of my gifs from Wolfsbane con in 2013. You can find the rest of the gif sets and a couple of videos here
Well, it has to do with several things: sensory issues and being easily overwhelmed by the senses. Also, not being able to read social cues, such as body language and tone of voice.
And for me, it has to do with talking at people. I am obsessive, I am an escapist, and I have Aspergers. I won't get into the technical part of it, because, hey, you're online right now, aren't you? Look it up. However, I will tell you this:
I am not sick.
I am not a freak.
I am not in denial.
And, no, I am not just trying to get attention. Far from it, actually.
My brain is just wired...differently.
And you know what, I'm actually pretty proud of it. My brain works in a way that no one else will quite understand, not even scientists. At least, not yet. And I think that that's pretty darn awesome. I see things in a way that makes the world seem amazing and lets me live my life always wanting to learn something new, and I love that about myself!
I have problems, though, and I won't deny that I can complain.
I mean, really complain. Just ask my mom. Life can be really hard for me sometimes and other times it's great, so I've decided that talking about it and speaking up about it will help me cope with it. So, if it sometimes sounds like I'm talking to a therapist, I probably am.
You.
Yep, you guys.
Kneel down on the floor, because I'm giving you honorary knighthoods and handing you honorary doctorates in psychology. (Not really, but you get the idea) If you're reading this, that means you don't want to know the science behind it all, or even the psychology.
If you did, you'd go read some medical journal or online article. You're here because you want to hear it from the horse's mouth about what it's really like. Maybe you have a daughter, or a sister, or a wife or girlfriend who has it, and you just want to understand her. Not control her or tell her that she's just delusional, but you love her enough that you're trying to figure it out.
Or, you're just like me!
If so, then strap in and buckle up. It'll be bumpy and consistently inconsistent. I may not remember to update for a couple of months, and then spit out three articles in a week! I'll try to stay consistent, but please understand if I don't. Feel free to message me, however, and I'll try to respond.
Now...
...off we go!
Into time and space, along with the Winchesters, and the boys from Baker Street!
summary: aka Buck runs into his ex-boyfriend in a local deli, and they have a long overdue talk about their relationship and an incredible ship at the same time
