Longing for the Stars

I am 34 years old and was diagnosed with Autism when I was 14. I was apparently oblivious to this diagnosis until I was in college, at 18. Over the years I have learned what it means and just how different I see the world compared to other people. I like being different, this is who I am. And, hopefully, this blog will help you start to understand just what we go through to get by in today's world. We're round pegs in square holes...but aren't square holes boring? Wouldn't you rather get a different point of view?

[universalneurodivergent]

My mental health is so bad right now

All I can think about is how much of a failure I am in my family, everyone else did at least something interesting before they turn 35, and here I am about to turn 37 and I have literally done nothing with my life

Part of it is because of my neurodivergence, but I feel like I can't use that as an excuse because everyone else in my family is also neurodivergent and they've all done amazing things, so I feel like I'm just squandering everything that I am

I'm a pathetic excuse for a human being

[theriverbeyond]

Ideal work schedule:

I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks

I complete the list

I leave immedietly

[tevruden]

Yeah this can't be left in the notes

[universalneurodivergent]

This

[universalneurodivergent]

THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

[universalneurodivergent]

Yes, I changed my handle, this just seems more relevant knowing that I'm now gender fluid and I subscribe to the element of chaos

(also, since the hell that has unleashed in my country right now, I am trying to exert some control over the few spaces that I can 🙃)

[universalneurodivergent]

This is why I haven't been able to get a job in almost 6 years. I constantly apply for jobs that I'm very qualified for, but the problem is I know absolutely no one, and reaching out to try and network just feels false and disingenuous. I don't like using people just to get a job, it feels disgusting to me, and it bothers me that so many other people are fine with making vague acquaintances just so they can get an edge.

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

[universalneurodivergent]

THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

[universalneurodivergent]

Seriously, I have so many friends who are very obviously traumatized neurodivergents like me, and so many of them say that they are not autistic or ADHD when it's blatantly obvious that they are

[universalneurodivergent]

Like...seriously. HOLY. CRAP. 🤯🤯🤯

[universalneurodivergent]

[universalneurodivergent]

[universalneurodivergent]

[universalneurodivergent]

[universalneurodivergent]

I feel this so much every single day 😓

[jesterkilljoy]

i feel like the only way to truly understand why i say or do anything i say or do is to know that the answer 99% of the time is i had a hyperfixation

[adhd-autistic-demi]

You've heard of boy math, girl math, and dog math. Now get ready for: AuDHD math!

There is one road on the way home. It's three halves. Not three thirds.

You have an appointment at 3pm that takes you fifteen minutes to get to, so you need to leave at 2:30. You're up at 10am. You do not have time to do anything.

You have a work day from 9-6. You have a break from 2-3. The work day is two equal halves.

You have a task due in two weeks. It's supposed to take two weeks to do. It takes one day to do and will be done the day it's due.

You have a task that only takes five minutes. It takes five hours.

[universalneurodivergent]

You have to brush your teeth every night, which means you have to remind yourself to do it every night or else you will forget.

You just bought a new piece of clothing, so you remember to leave it out or else you will forget you bought it and never wear it.

You have been working out every day for a year but you forget to one day—so you never workout again.

There's a new coffee shop you want to go, so every time you're out you see it and say, "I should go there," and never do because that means going someplace new.

You're going to a new place to eat that's ten minutes from you in a place you have been a hundred times before...which means you pull out Google maps and check the parking situation.

Yep. Life's a blast.

[etherealspacejelly]

i love being the person that all of my friends feel safe infodumping to

i never judge, i never interrupt, i ask questions, i listen, i say supportive shit, i do all the shit i wish someone would do for me lol

and they all come to me and tell me about shit and they are all shy and embarrassed at first but over time i get to see them open up more and get excited more and come straight to me whenever something cool happens to tell me about it

why would anyone not want this? why did my parents not want this from me? why did they have to make me feel like shit for being excited about stuff? i shouldnt feel like the most annoying person on earth every time i bring up something im passionate about for one (1) minute

[universalneurodivergent]

I have a friend who lets me info dump like this! She is the greatest woman in the world, even though we rarely get to see each other, I would not give her up for anything 🥰

Being someone who is autistic and ADHD, I constantly try to be that safe person that people can info down to because I know what it's like to be ignored and told that I'm just too much. I will always be the person that you're a divergent people can come to and feel safe, that is the goal!

[cybercybertron]

Ok, so sometimes at the end of the day I just get really pissed off and frustrated. Usually after I’ve been busy realitive to what I usually do rn.

Hangry aside, is this like audhd overload or like minor daily burnouts?

Also does anyone else get this too? Like only what I can describe as minor burnouts or something but not full on meltdowns.

[universalneurodivergent]

I think it's sensory overload, personally. I've experienced it on a regular basis, and it gets even worse around my time of the month