imyourdesign replied to your post “Please don't call lesbians "dykes”
FUCKING THIS i was constantly called a dyke and many other disgusting names before, and after i came out. I'm 2 years into my transition and it still happens. These people are fucking ridiculous. Still love you kmclaude.
I’m sorry that happens and that it continues to happen. It’s a sad reality. It’s something I think people who maybe don’t experience the dissonance between how you appear and who you are don’t realize, which is that you can say you’re Y up, down, left, and right and you can take all the right steps to make yourself reflect Y as much as you are able but as long as people see X, you’re gonna be treated and perceived, positively and negatively, as X.
nihilistic-void replied to your post “The only way you can repeat dyke without using it as a slur is if...”
*calls myself a faggot and a dyke* Tumblr: *has a fucking stroke*
WELCOME TO THE TUNGLE IT GETS WORSE HERE EVERY DAY
@kirtlandswarbler replied to your post “Wow, didn't know "people who aren't lesbians shouldn't say dyke" was...”
I mean tbh I have to agree with the idea that people who can't reclaim a slur shouldn't use that slur so the anon kind of has a point there but at the same time imo in your comic it was used as an expression of frustration and seemed like a slur that had actually been used against you instead of just you using a slur for the hell of it
I would agree except that anon is arguing a point A to prove unrelated point C when what happened was B. I’m not reclaiming anything. I’m not going around going “I’M FATHER CLAUDE, THE DYKIEST DYKE OF ALL DYKES!!! PCRD: PATER CLAUDIUS REX DYKIORUM!!!!” I’m, similar to what you said, expressing a frustration of the reality of where I am in my presentation: I am seen as a butch lesbian, a dyke -- rarely (RARELY!!!!!) am I pegged for a teenage boy -- and sadly the only fashion catered to androgyny is expensive af and catered to lesbian (oft cis) women in the butch subculture so the result of buying the only fashion that understands my body is that I would go from being seen as “the dyke” to “the fancy dyke who is now po’ as shit”
sgt-spank replied to your post “me: points out that you used a slur you have no right to repeat while...”
When the term is used as fuel against you in order to harm you and when you are oppressed by the term, then you are allowed to use the term. I have also been called these things before. In fact it has been used as a weapon against me and many trans men. It's what we are seen as, so...
it’s what we’re seen as as afab masc presenting people and we deserve to be able to talk about that reality!
@vikingcarrot replied to your post “Ya know, when a bunch of lesbians come and tell you something you did...”
Baffled by the notion that just because someone feels offended by something, it automatically means that thing, or the thing that contains it, must be shut down immediately, no questions asked, no critical thinking or context required. As though Being Offended gives anyone the right to control other peoples' expression of experience or their actions.
Sorry I was busy having warflashbacks to right wing christians being offended at my existence and the existence of other queers and also non-Jesus media and Harry Potter.
Being Offended and Being Correct are not the same thing.
pashastrelnikov replied to your post “Serious question. Do you think that it might be possible, that since...”
Okay. I read the comic and last I checked you're literally just going "Well I'm going to get called this/have been called this" which is neither calling anyone the thing NOR reclaiming it? You're literally saying people are going to/have called me X? You're basically transcribing what other people are saying so idek what's the issue
Yeah, thanks for pointing that out -- as I said elsewhere I’m not reclaiming it I don’t understand where this dichotomy of reclamation or slur comes from? Because the reality is: I ain’t a lesbian. I don’t like chicks. I don’t like dudes. I’m pretty squarely ace. And I ain’t a fucking chick. But the reality is I look like a chick. I look butch. I get called dyke. I get whispers that I’m a lesbian. And it’s very painful misgendering because no, I’m not, I’m a man, why can’t anyone see that, why do I even bother since I’m only gonna get “ma’am” to my face and “fucking dyke!” behind my back, never sir. And that’s my issue. And that’s what the comic is about: it’s that clothes will always always make me look like a kid playing dress up and the clothes that help me are expensive as fuck and read as and are marketed to the butch subculture which means I get to fuck off a chunk of my paycheck to go from “hey dyke!” to “hey fancy dyke!” which...sucks. At least hey faggot would acknowledge I’m a fucking man.
enbylebeau replied to your post “Your diary comic didn't even come off that way to me?? You didn't even...”
personal opinion, in the context you used the slur in I was ok with it? Internalized thought and vocabulary is sometimes not the best chosen, and I think part of a diary comic is showing the moment itself. But I feel almost like the original anon really didn't care about the use of "dyke" as more than an angry afterthought.
oh def, it’s outrage to be outraged. people see a word they don’t like and see a person they deem unable to say the forbidden word and throw a fit. like curse words. except the reality is I am perceived as a butch lesbian woman and get called dyke, I’m already seen as a “dyke” and you can’t...pretend that’s not true. You can’t pretend that I’m not seen as not just a lesbian woman not just a butch lesbian woman but all the vitriol and hatred and disgust that gets imbued in dyke because that’s what people perceive even if the reality is I’m a tranny.
