#njstuff

[anyroomsrio]

10 people (or less) you would like to know better

one of these days, I'm going to be better about staying active on tumblr. so apologies that this is a bit late, but thank you to @onpurposewrites and @songliili for the tags!

Last song: Sometimes I wake up and put "Still Tippin" (Mike Jones, old school hip hop) radio on, and some days I wake up and put "Your Best American Girl" (Mitski, sad girl hours) radio on. Today I did some Still Tippin'.

Favourite colour: purple (as a concept, but I really and truly wear black like the little emo I am)

Currently watching: Traitors ended so nothing atm. But probably gonna rewatch AKOTSK.

Currently reading: I JUST broke my godawful reading slump that I've been in since JULY. I finished We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian and it cured me, truly. I'm picking up the next book in the series and also maybe starting The Realm of the Elderings series, as that's what I picked up at the library and I've been meaning to get into it for ages.

Current obsession: some obsessions never change (firstprince, alex claremont diaz my darling dearest) (captive prince) but also, I'm super into yoga rn. I take two classes almost daily and it's keeping me sane. Also being outdoors, touching grass, etc. I also am getting back into my sci-fi/horror roots. (PROJECT HAIL MARY)

Currently working on: I'm ngl, life got really, really tough at the beginning of this year. I've been trying to work on stuff, but it's been slow. I'm finally letting it be slow, though. I'm working on "Hug Alex" fic and also have a birthday fic for a friend coming SOON. I do have other fic ideas simmering in the background, but I'm also writing a few short stories for a horror zine with some irl friends. It's exploring how trauma manifests in the body, which I find fascinating.

Last google search: "taylor zakhar perez cowboy" i'm ngl to you guys. I needed to see that one video, iykyk.

i know i'm late so apologies if this has already been done by some. no pressure random tags: @crownedinlove @sugarycloud1 @whispered-story @marzelgrimm @exitariel000 @unkn0wn-1o1 @faketrex @shealwaysreads @strwbrryagcd @cha-melodius

[anyroomsrio]

on becoming.

Sometimes an artist can open a page, and the story or the image just arrives. Just like that. You stay up all night on some kind of bender, and the story pours out of you. It's such a rush.

And then other times, it's like pulling teeth. You're surprised by how much you have to pivot. Sometimes, by the time you reach the end, the story is completely different from what you thought it would be. Sometimes, it's better for it.

I think about my sister, who had to pivot her art journey several times because life got in the way. She always said she wanted to be a part of a zine, and then recently, she finally was.

I think about friends who write, how stories they've had in their heads and in drafts sometimes sit there for ages, just waiting for the right moment to come to completion. Because things change, and things get in the way.

I think about the authors of my favorite stories. CS Pacat couldn't find anyone to publish their work, so they started posting on LiveJournal — and it ended up building a massive fanbase until it was finally published. Casey McQuiston started writing two separate stories about two separate characters and dared to ask: what if they fell in love? And then the 2016 election happened, and the story took a backseat until they were able to carve out something else.

Art is not created in a vacuum. It often takes a lot of turns; it often arrives differently than what we first had in mind. But god, if it's not still so beautiful for it.

I say this as I see a fanzine ( @rwrbzines ) in my fandom published, and I find myself wondering — how did they all get here? To this place in their journey, with their skill and their craft? Because no one just picks up a pen and is immediately really good at something. Some people may have more of an inclination toward a certain skill, but that doesn't make the grit and determination any less real. It doesn't lessen the audacity it takes to keep trying.

No one just shows up in the shape or form you see them in when you discover their brilliance. One day, they had to start. And then the next day, they had to choose not to give up. They kept showing up, kept creating, kept sharing — their art, their stories, their craft. Even when it didn't get attention. They chose to keep going.

I'm saying this as I sit on a story I thought I'd be publishing this year, one that's taken such a turn since the concept first landed in my head and I asked, "What if?"

Sometimes it feels like it'll never materialize. But then I take my shoes off and let my feet touch the earth. I feel the breeze in my hair, the sun warm on my skin, and I remember to be alive — to be a person who keeps trying, keeps going, keeps creating, even when the odds are stacked, and the world is dark and dreary.

Art doesn't just keep us alive. It gives meaning to our lives, and it draws us toward each other. I think of all the people I've met through stories, music, art, and words — the connections I never would have made otherwise. I think that's pretty cool.

It's also why I'll never be convinced that fandom is something we participate in solo, and why consumerism in fandom is so vile. Because the stories, the art — it all comes from a place and a person who dared to do the thing. Who pushed past vulnerability and hit post. Maybe this story isn't the one to break a barrier or reach a milestone. But maybe it's just the one I will write to remind myself there's something in me that is daring to be let out.

Maybe that's the same for you, too.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't give up. Keep doing the thing. Dare to hit "post."

(Also, thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every artist who participated in the rwrb zine. You inspire me beyond words.)

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Nicholas Perfection Jonas . 186 / ∞

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