(I didn't realize how stressed this woman looks in every gif.)
Summary: It's been a minute since I have written Benson but I have been rewatching SVU and it feels like coming home after a long day. This reflects that
Warnings: N/A
Masterlist
1.1k words
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You opened the door to the apartment, sighing at the familiar smells. It had been one week since you had walked through these doors. You had been traveling overseas to help your team compete in your most intense playoffs to date. It had taken a day to travel there, three days of sweat and tears, two days of well-deserved relaxation, and one day rushing to get home. It had been a needed break, and you didn't regret a single moment of it. Especially with the gold medal hanging around your neck. However, being away from your wife and son with barely any time for communication had taken its toll on you. It felt so weird to be so happy and so homesick all at the same time.
You could have asked your wife and son to pick you up from the airport. And they would have come with large signs and gifts but your teammate had wanted to drive you. It was your last season together before she moved cross country and you were cramming as many minutes together as you could. Now as you stood in the doorway eyes still puffed from crying in her car all you wanted was a hug.
Rounding the corner to the entryway, Noah launched himself into your arms. You almost stumbled backwards by the impact but laughed into his embrace. Your son always had a sixth sense for when you needed him. He was taller than you now but he still had his young boyish grin and would curl up on the couch with you to watch old Disney movies. You kept your arms tight around him cherishing every moment he showered you in his warmth.
“Welcome home Mama,” He said squeezing you, “I missed you.”
“I missed you too buddie,” You smiled.
“I got to watch all of your games this weekend! You did so good. I even recorded some stuff to show my friends back at school,” Noah told you excitedly before taking your bags, “Want me to go put these away for you?”
“Sure, Mom home?”
“Waiting in the living room for you. I'll start soaking your gear for you too Mama.”
“You really don't have to Noah. I can do it.”
But Noah merely shook his head, “I remember how you do it. Plus this stuff stinks worse than my room.
You laughed rolling your eyes saying an I love you as Noah set off to the laundry room. You walked down the hall and immediately locked eyes with your wife. She was lounging on the couch wine glass in hand with her feet kicked up on the coffee table. Her reading glasses pushed back her brunette waves and she was in her usual at home relaxing outfit. One of your favorite t shirts hung loose around her over a pair of sweatpants. Just her presence had you weak in the knees. Then when she smiled as she saw you her eyes sparkling you fell in love with her all over again.
“Welcome home mi armor,” She grinned, “I missed you so much.”
You walked to the couch placing a kissing on her lips. When you pulled back you removed the wine glass taking it with you as you collapsed on the couch next to her. You took a large drink before you placed your head on her shoulder. She curled her fingers through your open hand and squeezed gently. When she placed a kiss on the top of your head you felt the final pieces clicking into place.
“You have a good trip? I watched all of your games,” Olivia beamed.
“It was an amazing trip,” You grinned, “But now you got me daydreaming of the game pulled up in the bull pen and that is something I would have loved to see.”
“Oh I took pictures of it and everything,” Olivia said grabbing her phone.
She scrolled through a couple of photos of everyone gathered around the large tv. Your team was across the screen for the championship game. Noah was in a large bean bag on the floor a bowl of popcorn in hand. Fin was next to him handing him a soda. Curry and Bruno were sitting on the tops of desks leaning forward in anticipation. Even Rollins and Carisi were there sitting in chairs watching the action unfold. You spotted a couple of unis looking through the glass as well.
You let out a large laugh wrapping her arm around Olivia, “I can’t believe you did that. You are such a dork.”
“Only for my wife,” Olivia said putting her phone away.
She heart warmed as you settled further into Olivia’s embrace. You looked at the pictures that covered your living room. Twenty six years of your relationship in picture frames. Your first date back when Olivia had first become a detective and you had gone to celebrate with drinks. Another from your first apartment together after you had moved in on your third year anniversary. A couple of pictures from your travels when Olivia had went with the FBI and took you along with her. A handful more photos from your wedding Olivia dressed in a tailor tuxedo and you in a flowing dress. There were pictures from shortly after she had returned from Lewis’ kidnapping. Her hair was chopped short and the necklace you had bought her hung loose around her neck. You remembered those dark days before Lewis finally died where you thought you had lost Olivia forever but she had come back to you. Every nightmare and flashback you thought would tear you apart only brought you closer together. Then shortly after Noah came into your life and your whole world had been turned upside down. Now you were mothers raising a baby together navigating motherhood when your mothers had never been there for you. But as he grew into a stunning young man you didn’t regret a single moment of it. There were million of moments in between that existed in the photos and outside but you remembered all of them. Some were big and some were small. Some you didn’t appreciate while they were happening but now that they were gone you realized how much you cherished them. Everything about your life with Olivia was beautiful and you didn’t know where you would be without her.
“What are you thinking about sweetheart?” She asked pulling you from your swirling memories.
“You think we are ever going to get sick of each other?”
“After everything we have been through together,” Olivia responded glancing at your future and past unfolding in front of you, “I will never get sick you my love.I think that we will find a way back to each other in every life time.”
Remember when I said that Rafael hasn't had enough time to grow on me yet as a character? Okay, it's 2 seasons later and I'm now officially Team Barba.
Wanna know what solidified it for me?
THIS 😂😂
MY GUY, WHY ARE YOU HOLDING THE INFANT LIKE HE'S RADIOACTIVE LMAOOO???? 😂😭
Also I LOVE him being besties with Liv so much. They match each other's energy so well.
(also just wanna take a moment to appreciate the BOY MOM OLIVIA BENSON aesthetics in that pic, I'm obsessed)
Warnings? Yes, but only a little; hurt/comfort, reader needing their moms, depression, feelings of abandonment, this was self indulgent.
Alex x Olivia x their kid!Reader
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Things had been going ok, but at the same time things were also going to shit.
Y/n had been exhausted every day, putting on a mask of happiness, lying their way through everything.
They sighed and thought as they walked to Olivia’s door, “Why did I agree to this dinner with mom and Noah? All I want to do is go home, curl up and cry. Although I should be grateful, at least they remember me and include me.”
Knocking and hearing a ‘hold on!’ coming from inside, Y/n took one last shuttering breath and prepared the mask that they wore so well.
The door swung open and there stood Olivia, Y/n’s adopted mother and one of the only people to genuinely love and accept them, and with a wide smile, “Sweet baby come here! I’m glad you could make it, come in!”
As soon as they entered a smaller body collided with their own, looking down they could see a head of unruly curls and a wide smile, “Y/n! I missed you!”
For the first time in days, the smile on their face became real, “I missed you too, Bud! How was your day at school?”
Noah grinned even harder and pulled back, “It was good! We did an art project in class; I get to bring it home Monday!”
Olivia smiled as she watched the interaction between her two children and walked to where Alex was, “They don’t even notice you yet, let’s see how long this will continue before you’re noticed.”
Alex laughed quietly, “Deal, but I’m sure Noah can keep them busy for a while.”
Liv giggled quietly and looked to Alex, “Thank you for coming back, Alex. Speaking of, have you given any thought to- “
Alex gave Olivia a look, “I still have my license, I never lost them but Olivia, if I do come back, keep Elliot away from me. Got it?”
Liv pulled a face, somewhere between shock and humor from the looks of it, but said, “I will try my best, but you know we work cases with Organized Crime.”
Alex sighed and was about to grumble but the timer went off, it was time to eat.
Olivia and Alex bought everything to the table before Liv called everyone to eat, “Alright you two, let’s go. Y/n, can you hand me the glasses please?”
Y/n smiled but as they turned around, their jaw fell open and there stood Alex Cabot in the flesh wearing a wide grin.
Y/n felt a tear slip down their cheek and as they dove into Alex’s arms, they spoke softly, “Mama! Wha-what are you doing here?”
Alex smiled and held them tight, “I’m coming home, I got sick of Florida, and I wanted to be near some of my favorite people, so I decided to move back home.”
Y/n pulled back with tears and a certain look in their eye but before Alex could ask them what was wrong, Y/n pulled away completely and said, “Let’s eat!”
Alex watched them carefully and then turned to make eye contact with Olivia confirming if she saw it as well and once Alex saw the look, they knew something was going on and now both women were suspicious.
They would leave it alone until later, for now it was time to have some family bonding.
Talking amongst each other and going about how their days were and what they all did, dinner quickly ended.
Liv smiled at Noah and told him it was bedtime and to say goodnight to everyone but of course he didn’t want to go to bed yet but with one look from his older sibling, he compiled and told everyone goodnight.
Liv gave Alex a look that told her to get started and she’d be back soon, and Alex complied, “So let’s go ahead and dive in, no bullshitting. How are you really, sweetheart?”
Y/n faltered slightly with the dish in their hand, “I-uh I’m fine, why?”
Alex sighed and put everything down, “Listen to me, I know I haven’t been here like I should have for quite a few years but I’m coming back and I’m going to be here and around you quite a lot. So, tell me now and I won’t have to use my lawyer skills on you.”
Y/n took a shaky breath, trying to speak the truth but the burning lump in their throat wouldn’t cooperate and all that came out was a broken sob, quickly covering their mouth and turning into the arms that came around them, they let all the pain out.
Alex held Y/n tightly, one hand on the back of their head and the other rubbing their back, “Let it out, little bear. It’s ok, I’m here. It’s ok.”
Y/n cried hard into Alex’s shoulder, holding themselves close to her and let out a few broken words, “I’m so tired, mama. It’s so fucking hard.”
Olivia heard those words as she came around the corner and immediately wrapped her arms around the two and held them, letting a few tears at the obvious pain their little bear was in.
After a while Y/n pulled back, Alex and Liv had more questions but kept quiet and led them into the living room.
After a while longer, Liv spoke but kept a tight grip on Y/n’s hand, “What’s going on, sweetheart? Tell us, please.”
As a hand went carding through Y/n’s hair, they broke again and spilled it all, “When is it going to be me? Everyone is leaving me behind, moms! All that happens in this life for me is I help people, but when it comes to getting help in return, I get ‘I’m sorry, I’m busy’! When am I going to be placed first!? When am I going to get helped in return!? When is it going to be ME?”
Alex and Olivia both felt tears streaming down their faces at the obvious pain and turmoil in Y/n’s voice, they could see clearly in their body language and their face how tired they were.
Olivia immediately drew her eldest in for a hug, squeezing them tight, cradling them. Alex immediately came in behind and wrapped herself around the two, holding both Olivia and Y/n, they cried with their child.
While Alex wasn’t legally Y/n’s other mother, she sure as hell thought of Y/n as her child as well and damnit, she was going to help bring the light back to their eyes.
Sitting on the couch for quite a while letting Y/n get some of their pain out, Olivia spoke, “Listen to me, we may not be your friends or your coworkers, but we are your mothers and as long as we are here, we will never forget you. Little bear, neither of us care what time it is, where we are, what we are doing, come and find us and we will be there. Ok?”
Alex made a noise of agreement, placed a soft kiss upon the back of Y/n’s and said, “Listen to your mom, she’s a wise woman. We’re here, sweetheart. We are here, we always will be.”
Y/n made a noise of acknowledgment and nodded against Olivia, and they said in a broken voice, “Thank you, please never leave me.”
Alex squeezed harder and said, “Never, we will fight to be here by your side for the rest of our lives. You are our child, we will never forget, never leave, and will always make time for you.”
They continued to stay in their little pile they made for a couple more hours, keeping their child sandwiched between them and cocooned in safety.
With Y/n drifting to sleep, the last thing they heard and felt was Olivia’s voice and Alex squeezing tightly, “No matter how far you roam, we will always find you. What is lost, will always be found.”
Alex chimed in, “If we even let you out of our sight, you are our baby, and we swore to protect you. We love you, Y/n. Please never forget.”
Drifting to sleep within the warmth and safety of their mom’s arms, Y/n was finally at peace.
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Bonus: The next morning
Y/n was groggy when they awoke, rubbing their eyes, raising up to find where the voices were coming from, they spotted their mothers locked in an embrace and made a slight face before speaking and scaring both women, “Ew but fucking finally, it’s about damn time and I would continue but I want more sleep, just don’t be too loud if you have sex. Two impressionable children in the apartment.”
Both women gaped at Y/n and shook their heads while Y/n fell back asleep with a soft smile on their face and a soft huff of a laugh escaping their lips and thinking as they drifted even farther into sleep, “Fucking finally, it only took them 24 years.”
