#nonbinary!sam

[cursed-byesexual]

I read a post about nonbinary grunge witch Sam from an alternate universe and I couldn‘t get it out of my head until I drew this. I don‘t even know anymore but the concept of Sam being every single acronym letter of the alphabet mafia at some point just means a lot to me. So yeah, here ya go, nonbinary grunge witch Sam. ( I know that I’m not a great artist, please let me have this anyways)

[5typesoftrash]

Unwarranted Anxiety

Sam’s rolled the word around on their tongue a thousand times. Nonbinary. They’ve read their favorite definition so many times they have it memorized. n. (The state of) having no particular identification to or wish to be considered a part of either of the binary genders male and female. They’ve called themself by their own pronouns enough to make them feel real.

But so far it’s always been between Sam, God, and their bathroom mirror. They don’t know how to turn it into something someone else can understand.

They already sent Dean the text. Dean is coming back to the Bunker from his grocery run. They can’t get out of this.

But their anxiety is still going to go into overdrive until their brother arrives.

Thank God Dean arrives quickly.

When he knocks on Sam’s bedroom door, they nearly jump out of their skin. “Shit,” they mumble. “Oh…” they whimper to themself, staring at him in fear. “Oh, God, I’m not ready.”

Dean purses his lips. “Sammy…” he whispers. “You don’t gotta tell me anything you don’t wanna. Okay? If this is one of those things that takes a lot of mental preparation and courage, I get it. But just… remember that you’re still my Sammy. And I’m always gonna love you.”

Sam nods, mouth dry, unable to speak or breathe around the colossal lump in their throat.

Dean coughs awkwardly and puts a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I gotta tell you somethin’, though. I don’t like hiding this from you, so I’m gonna… just gonna get it off my chest.” He takes a deep breath, his shoulders rising, and then says in a quiet, timid voice Sam has never heard him use before, “Sammy, I think I’m a girl.”

Sam’s brain makes a record-scratch sound in their ears. Fucking what? Dean’s gonna have to rewind a little bit because Sam is really not following.

Dean seems to catch onto that, cause he – she? – clears her throat and adds, “I just discovered there’s a word for this, uh, that I’m not the only person who’s ever felt this way. It’s called transgender, it means I’m sorta like… a girl trapped in a guy’s body. And I get this really fuckin’ disgusting feeling sometimes when I look at my dick, like it’s just wrong. Like it’s not supposed to be there. Sometimes I have panic attacks over that and stuff, I don’t know. It’s stupid. It’s worse with my chest, though, I’m almost constantly wishing I had tits. It’s called—”

“Dysphoria,” Sam croaks. “Gender dysphoria. An incredible disconnect between one’s assigned sex and their internal sense of self, aka their gender identity. Often so painful and all-consuming that it can interfere with everyday activities and ability to function, Dean, I feel it too. I’m trans. Also.”

Dean stares. “Y- you’re a girl? Like me?”

Sam shakes their head. “I- no, not really. I’m, uh. Nonbinary trans. I’m not a girl or a guy. I’m… well. Nothing. Actually, not nothing. I have a very distinct sense of my gender, but it’s just this other, third option that no one ever presented to me as a child. I’m nonbinary. My pronouns are they and them.”

Dean looks slightly confused but nods. “Alright, uh. My pronouns are she her hers.”

Sam grins. “I’m so proud of you,” they tell her. “Did I ever tell you I always wished I had a big sister?”

The creases in Dean’s forehead smooth out in relief and she breaks into a huge grin. “Shit, you just called me your sister,” she mumbles. Sam nods eagerly.

“That’s cause you are,” they remind her gently. Dean relaxes.

“I was always afraid sayin’ that out loud would make it sound dumb. But it doesn’t. It’s… it’s amazing, Sammy. It’s euphoric.”

Sam grins and hugs her so tightly. “I love you,” they mumble. “I love you so much, big sister.”

Dean sighs through her nose. “Also I’m gay,” she murmurs.

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Wait, seriously?”

Dean bites her bottom lip and nods. “Still just girls for me. Instead of being a cis straight dude, I’m a trans lesbian. Whoops.”

Sam kisses her temple. “Alright, Dean,” they whisper. “Do you still wanna keep that name?”

Dean laughs. “Yeah,” she replies. “I’m kinda attached to it.”

Sam smirks. “Good,” they shoot back. “Cause I am too.”

They laugh a lot that night, and fall asleep holding each other for the first time in twenty-nine years.

[nooonbinaryyyy]

Agender Angelic Sam and Cas (flag by @aroaesflags)

[beekeepercain]

Nonbinary!Sam explaining to Dean that they're nonbinary and what that means to them. :3 Thanks in advance!!!

They’re comfortable: the laptop’s on Netflix, the couch is wide enough for two huge guys, and there’s beer for both of them, each holding a bottle with an unopened one still on the table. Dean’s still aching from the hunt, he’s got a few colourful bruises on his ribs and his arm protests whenever he lifts his bottle to his mouth, but overall, things are good. They’re alive, they’re well-fed, and they’re together without bickering for once - even Sam looks like he’s enjoying himself, the tension in his body lifted for the first time since Wednesday at least. Dean looks at him and chuckles to himself; man, he’s happy here.

The sound makes Sam turn towards him, frowning with a hint of a grimace on him.“What?” he asks, and Dean shrugs.

“I’m just - man, I feel really good right now. Really, really good.”

Sam shakes his head and sips his beer before lowering it back on his lap. He stretches his neck - Dean can hear it pop - and rubs at his shoulder, the same one he smashed against a door just yesterday.

“You know,” Dean continues, turning his gaze back towards the laptop, “Life really isn’t that bad sometimes.”

“You’re seriously happy, aren’t you,” Sam huffs and slides his finger down the neck of his bottle with one of those judgemental grins on his face that he reserves for Dean.

“Well, name one thing you aren’t happy with right now, because I’m happy about pretty much everything.”

It’s Sam’s turn to chuckle.“Alright. Man, I’m happy that you’re happy.”

“You aren’t?”

“I’m not saying that. I am. I’m just - you’re overdoing it and it’s making me uncomfortable.”

Dean grins. He drinks a big gulp of beer and plants the empty bottle on the table to pick up another one.

“Name one thing - one thing that isn’t perfect right now.”

“My foot’s going numb,” Sam offers dully as Dean opens up the next bottle.He gains a nasty look from his brother in response, but instead of acknowledging it, he readjusts on the couch and sighs.

They watch the film on the laptop’s screen together for a while in silence, long enough for Sam to empty his beer and start up the next one. He curls up against the arm rest of the couch and yawns; Dean glances at him and nudges him hard.

“Don’t fall asleep.”

“I’m not falling asleep.”

“Tell me,” Dean starts then, ignoring Sam’s response, “What was that thing you said the other day?”

“What thing?”

“When I said something about how great it is to be a guy.”

“The - the thing you said when you were going on and on about how sad you are that women can’t pee while standing up?”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“No,” Sam scoffs, “Not particularly.”

Dean sighs.“Anyway,” he keeps on, “You made it sound like you didn’t enjoy being a guy, which, to be completely honest with you, was a bit concerning.”

Sam groans.“It’s not that,” he counters in a voice that clearly suggests he isn’t enjoying the change of subject any more than he was enjoying Dean’s previous positivity.

“Then what is it?”

“I just - nevermind. It doesn’t matter, it makes no difference.”

“What makes no difference?”

Dean’s distracted from the movie now. He pulls his legs on the couch and turns towards Sam instead, drinking another big gulp before planting his bottle next to the empty one on the table.“Tell me.”

Sam hesitates for a while. Then, he pulls himself back up again with a sigh that tells Dean exactly how little he wanted to leave his nest in the corner of the couch. He stretches his neck again looking a little pained before placing his own bottle on the table and pausing the movie.

“Alright,” he says then, “Fine. I’ll tell you, but I don’t think it’ll make much sense to you.”

“Try me.”

“I’m trying.”

It takes some time for him to find the words, but Dean lets him do it; he’s almost genuinely curious now instead of just pestering the younger brother for fun.

“Okay,” Sam says then, sighing, “I just don’t feel the way you do about being a man. I’m not masculine the way you are, and frankly, I don’t want to be, because it means nothing to me.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed. You drink salad for breakfast.”

Dean feels deeply satisfied about the glare he gets in response.

“Are you going to listen or not?” Sam asks him, the frustration in his voice clear now; Dean nods, hugging his legs against his chest with a devilish smirk on his face.

“I’m all ears.”

“So, being a man is part of your identity, and you make it pretty obvious. It isn’t part of mine.”

The claim causes Dean’s smirk to die down a little.“Huh?”

“I don’t feel any connection to being a man. It isn’t a part of who I am. I don’t really - gender isn’t important to me, and I don’t care about the social structures that go with the idea of it. I am who I am. I don’t get anything out of being a man or anything else, I just - want to be myself.”

“Well, yeah, but - you’re a dude.”

“No. I mean, you can call me that, it doesn’t make a difference to me. But that isn’t me, it’s just something people call me because I’m male. You know? All this - other stuff that goes with it, I don’t need it or want it and I definitely don’t feel like it’s a part of me.”

Now Dean’s just looking confused.

“So... you’re trying to say that... what?”

“I’m just trying to tell you that I don’t feel happy or sad or anything at all about being a man, because that doesn’t have anything to do with who I am. I’m not saying I’m a woman either. I just - I don’t think any of that matters.”

There’s a lengthy silence before Sam shifts a little and chuckles.

“Alright, I weirded you out.”

“No, I’m just trying to process that, because - man, I - I don’t feel that way at all. I’m a man. You’re a man, too. It’s - a part of who we are. I mean, you’re my brother, and that alone means that you’re a guy, right?”

“It’s not... really that simple. I mean, it kind of is; I don’t mind being your brother or being called a man. I just don’t connect with the concept. And, I don’t know...”

“You don’t know what?”

“I just - I’m alright with my body, you know? I don’t want to change it. But if I could choose a body, any body, and look like anything at all, I wouldn’t pick a male or a female body. I’d just pick something that would... feel like it’s mine.”

“I’d definitely pick a male body if I could choose,” Dean huffs, expecting Sam to contest it somehow - but he doesn’t. He merely nods.

“Yeah, I think you would. And that’s alright, because it’s a part of you.”

“What kind of a body would be more a part of you than the one you’re already in?” Dean asks, his fingers sorting through his hair in a baffled manner.

“Maybe one that would be a bit of both? Or just - neither, like an android body or something. But I think I’d be happiest if I could, you know, just be a little bit of everything at once.”

“That’s... weird.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

“Like boobs and a dick or something?”

Sam chuckles.“Going a bit personal here,” he says with a meaningful look in Dean’s direction, and his embarrassed smile catches onto Dean as well.“Not... necessarily. I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it, really. I wouldn’t mind having a little on my chest. I wouldn’t mind being a bit less - wide and big all over. I don’t care either way about the rest, really, it’s not important.”

“You’re saying you don’t care about your dick.”

Sam shrugs.“I don’t really feel anything particular about it, no.”

“That’s... seriously weird, Sam.”

Sam laughs again. He picks up his beer and wakes up the laptop.

“Can we continue watching now?”

“Uh... yeah, sure. I guess.”

The movie goes on for a while, but Dean’s thoughts are still elsewhere. Then, finally, he looks at Sam again and lets his gaze linger there. Maybe it’s not that weird, after all. Sam’s never really done anything to contradict what he said, either.

“So you’re... a male but not a man?” he asks, completely oblivious to the film.

Sam looks at him, surprised.“Yeah, something like that.”

Dean nods.“I think I - get it. I mean, I don’t, but I’m starting to.”

He gets a small smile out of Sam before the other curls back up in his corner with his bottle in hand.

“You know what?” he says then, lips tracing the bottle’s mouth before moving around it.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really happy, too. I can’t remember the last time things were this good for us. There’s - really nothing to complain about.”

Dean smiles.“Yeah,” he mumbles as he turns around and finally focuses on the film again, “Yeah, things are good.”

[5typesoftrash]

Prompt: nb!Sam hurt/comfort and/or fluff with Cas

Okay. Crowley? JJ? You’re amazing. This ask is amazing. This is exactly what I was hoping for and you just gave me the little burst of inspiration I needed to finish this thing. I love you so fricking much.

I hope this fits your criteria.

If you want me to, I’ll write an extension of this where Sam comes out to Dean.

It wasn't exactly that Sam didn't know. Well, it sort of was that Sam didn't know. But it also wasn't like that.

Sam knew that real Sam was... a different Sam than the Sam that Dean saw. And Sam also knew that Cas could see the real Sam.

Sam wasn't quite sure how Sam felt about that.

(Also, Sam hated pronouns. Like seriously, what the fuck is even the point of pronouns? Everybody has names for a reason, just call everyone by their name all the time and then there's no need for pronouns. Unless you're talking about a group... alright, so Sam could admit that Sam's argument didn't hold much water.)

So it wasn't exactly that Sam didn't know, it was more that Sam didn't know all of it, and it was difficult and confusing for Sam to try and figure it out.

And until Sam figured out what the hell Sam's pronouns were, there were no pronouns, and Sam was just Sam.

Sam remembered so many things that didn't really make sense. Things like the way Sam had always grown out Sam's hair, the way Sam had always kind of liked dresses and makeup, the way Sam felt a little bit too... happy when Dean called Sam 'Samantha' as a (somewhat misogynistic) jab.

Sam also remembered liking Sam's body, subscribing to several traditionally masculine habits and hobbies, relating to male characters in things and seeing things from a very male point of view.

So the short version was, Sam had no idea if Sam was trans or just confused.

Sam had had a chance to try and figure it out, once. There used to be a beautiful girl with blond hair and a sparkling smile who looked at Sam like Sam was her entire world who Sam knew would have helped Sam figure it out.

But Jessica Moore was dead now, and no amount of Sam's praying was going to bring her back to Sam, and Sam had never taken her up on that when Sam had the chance. Sam had always been a little too scared to reach out. So Sam had never really figured it out.

But it- it hurt now. It never used to hurt. It used to just be this feeling of weird, of wrong, like putting a hand into hot water and it feeling cold, even though you know it's not supposed to. Sam had always thought it was one of those things that was just inherently wrong with Sam, that Sam was messed up, irreparably damaged somehow, and it was just a Sam thing. (And it wasn't as though Sam's brother and father hadn't reinforced that narrative at all.)

It was suddenly physically painful, just a few years into living at the Bunker, and Sam knew that Sam had to do something about this. Sam couldn't look it up on Sam's laptop because Sam didn't think Sam would remember to clear Sam's internet search history and Dean might jump onto Sam's laptop for porn, so Sam had only one other resource.

"Hey, can we talk?" Sam asked, in the same uncomfortably deep voice Sam had had since Sam was fifteen or sixteen years old. Castiel looked up at Sam, with that look that Cas wore sometimes like the person talking to him was the most important person in the world and whatever they had to say was the most important thing he could hear.

"Of course, Sam."

Sam sighed and sat down next to Castiel on the couch. "So... I might be a girl? But I also might not be a girl? But I don't feel like a guy? I don't even know, I need help."

Cas smiled wisely at him. "Are you aware that there are other options?"

Sam blinked. "Other options?" Sam repeated, staring blankly.

"Besides male and female?" Cas elaborated.

"There are?" Sam asked, completely confused.

"I'll take that as a no," Cas murmured, patting Sam's shoulder. He shifted in his seat so they were facing each other. "Most people are only aware of the two binary genders, meaning male and female. However, there is an entire spectrum of gender identity in between and nowhere near those two genders."

Sam stared at him, fascinated.

"There's an umbrella term, 'trans', which includes any and all people whose internal sense of gender doesn't line up with their assigned sex, which is just the primary and secondary sex characteristics. Binary trans people are male-to-female or MTF, and female-to-male or FTM. Meanwhile, there's another umbrella term within that umbrella called 'nonbinary' that includes anyone and everyone who doesn't identify exclusively as one or the other. There are hundreds of other, more specific terms for nonbinary people, but I don't want you to hurt yourself." He smirked a little at Sam, and that was just too much.

What the fuck.

"How do you know all this stuff?" Sam asked quietly. Cas glanced away.

"The internet is very helpful. I've never experienced what most people call 'dysphoria', which is, I believe, what drove you to me, but I have found that I never cared, and that is common among angels. Angels do not inherently have genders. But I searched list after list of gender identities for several years after I joined the two of you for good and finally settled on 'agender'."

"What's that mean?" Sam asked distractedly, still trying to process everything that was being thrown at Sam.

"Agender means 'apart from gender', which means, in its essence, that I identify as no gender at all, and would accept any and all pronouns."

"So... so nonbinary people, they don't use he/him or she/her, so then... what pronouns would they use?"

"Most use they and them, although some use neopronouns such as xe/xem or ve/ver."

Sam took a shaky breath in as Sam attempted to wrap Sam's head around everything Cas had said.

Sam wasn't exactly a guy. That was about all that Sam knew. But Sam didn't really feel like a girl, either. So maybe...

"I think I'm nonbinary," Sam whispered. Cas put a hand on Sam's arm.

"Awesome," he whispered, and Sam laughed.

"I- I like they and them."

Cas shrugged. "Perfect. Do you want to tell Dean or do you want me to?"

"I think... I think you should. I'm... scared."

Cas looked at his friend, then, in a rare gesture of love, reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "You don't need to be scared, Sam. Your brother loves you. He will support you. But if you want me to talk to him for you, I will."

"I love you, Cas," Sam whispered. "Thank you."

"I love you too," Cas replied, brushing his lips across Sam's forehead. "And you are very welcome."

Sam turned and walked to the door, but stopped when Cas spoke again. "Sam, do you like feminine presenting items?"

Sam turned. "Yeah," Sam admitted. Cas looked pleased.

"Let's go shopping tomorrow, I'll buy you some skirts and makeup."

Sam stared at her. (Sam could use she/her pronouns for Cas, right? Cas said she didn't care what pronouns people used for her.) "That sounds... that sounds awesome."

Cas smiled, and Sam smiled back, and suddenly they were a whole different person.

@incredulousanteater @wickedwithwings @fandomallthetime24601

[5typesoftrash]

Well... I couldn’t help myself. So here’s part 3 to this.

Sam walks in wearing something Dean’s never seen and Dean does a double take. He stares at him.

Them! Them, you idiot, your nonbinary sibling, not your brother, them, them, them.

Sam sighs heavily and says, “I’ll change.” They’ve half turned around when Dean finally finds his voice.

“No, it’s fine, just give me a sec. Lemme see.”

Sam hesitantly turns to look at him, spreading their arms self-deprecatingly. Their face is flaming. Dean looks them up and down carefully.

Sam’s holding the tag in his – their their their their their – hand. It’s an XL.

The dress is floor-length. It has two slits on the sides, making it essentially three-quarters around the back and a separate piece in the front. It’s form-fitting from the hips up, emphasizing the curve of Sam’s ass and waist. They’ve filled out the front so it doesn’t hang all baggy off of their chest. It has spaghetti straps that go over their shoulders and meet in the back. Their arms, neck, and chest down past their collarbones are entirely bare. Dean feels a sudden, odd, almost parental urge to force them to put on a jacket or something.

He glances down at the floor. He can see through the slits in the dress that Sam shaved their legs. Interesting. They’re also wearing a pair of black strapped pumps with a four-inch heel.

He looks back at their face. Their hair is slightly longer than he remembers and pulled up into a ponytail. They look really… cute.

“Does it make you happy, Sam?” Dean asks when he’s satisfactorily completed his examination.

Sam looks a little surprised, a little shocked, a little embarrassed, and a lot joyful. Like they weren’t expecting Dean to ask but it’s the best thing he could have done. “Dean,” they say eventually in this tone like they’ve discovered all the secrets of the universe. “This is the best thing I have ever worn.”

Dean makes eye contact and smiles. “Then fuckin’ wear it, Sammi. Your gender is your own. I have no place tryna tell you how you can or can’t express it. If it makes you happy then wear it.”

Sam hugs him hard enough to crack a few ribs. “Sammi,” Dean murmurs eventually, sounding pained even to himself. “Gonna want those lungs to be functional. Try not to crush ‘em.”

Sam nods and lets him go. “I- sorry. I love you, Dean.” They nearly sprint out of the room. Dean follows.

Sam makes their way into their bedroom and Cas is waiting for them there. Dean watches with fondness as Sam launches themself at the angel. Cas hugs them happily.

“He liked it,” Sam whispers, sounding giddy. “He fucking likes it.”

Cas is grinning at Dean over Sam’s shoulder. “I’m so glad, Sam.”

Dean’s heart is about twelve sizes too big for his chest. Or maybe his chest is compressing. Either way, it’s uncomfortably tight, and Dean almost hates it, but the look on Sam’s face wipes that into oblivion.

Sam lets go of the angel but they don’t really look embarrassed, just happy, and-

Holy. Fuck.

Sam’s looking at Cas with this expression like he’s the only thing that matters in the universe and Dean would be jealous if he wasn’t so shocked.

Holy fuck my sibling is in love with an angel.

He looks away. This is suddenly too private for him to see. He starts to walk away but Sam grabs his wrist. “Dude,” they say. “Been tryna break you of this habit forever. You can’t just fuck off when something happens that makes you feel stuff.”

Dean sighs. “But why?”

Sam laughs. “You’re stupid and annoying and my best friend and I love you. And you’re not getting on my case for wearing a dress, so props to you.”

“I like dudes,” Dean says and it’s so weird and it doesn’t sound right and his voice cracks but it’s also real. And Sam nods.

“Yeah, I know. Waiting for you to figure it out but I know.” They don’t look smug or anything, just sympathetic, like they know how hard it is for Dean to admit that.

Dean glances between the two of them, Cas where he’s sitting on the couch with his hands folded in his lap and Sam where h- they are standing in front of Dean looking adorably eager and Dean’s about to spontaneously combust. He swallows hard, taking Sam’s hand, and leads them into the kitchen.

“Dude, are you in love with Cas?”

Sam freezes. “Um.”

Dean honest-to-God laughs. “Holy shit, you are.”

“Maybe,” Sam admits.

Dean doesn’t know what to do, but he does know what to say. “Dude. Fuck him.”

Sam shakes their head. “Oh my god. No. I’m-”

“A bottom, yeah I know. But like. Sleep with him, dude.”

Sam sighs. “I don’t think she’s interested.”

Dean stares at them. “You don’t think he’s interested? He takes you shopping for shit like this outfit every single day. He spends most of his time with you. If anyone’s interested, it’s him. Go for it.”

Sam bites their lip, looking vulnerable and almost scared. “Are you sure? You really think so?”

“Dear god. Yes, I do. Just go.”

Sam swallows hard, nods, and goes, and Dean watches them disappear into the other room.

Two days later, he walks in on them mostly naked making out with Cas.

He hightails it out of there.

Taglist:

@incredulousanteater, @wickedwithwings, @fandomallthetime24601, @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover, @an-ace-pheonix

[5typesoftrash]

So, I’ve gotten a few requests to write a sequel to this fic here so here you guys go!

“Are you going to be okay, Sam?” Cas asks, one hand on their shoulder. Sam nods.

“I think so.” They go through the script they’ve written up for themself in their head. “I’m gonna do it.” They raise their hand to knock on the door to Dean’s bedroom.

“I’m right here,” Cas reminds them. “Do you want me to come in with you?”

Sam swallows hard and nods. “Do you mind?”

She shakes her head. “Not at all.”

Sam knocks.

Dean pulls the door open. “Wassup, Sammy?” he asks cheerfully. Sam’s throat closes up.

“Can we talk?” they ask timidly. Dean looks confused.

“Who’s dying?” he demands. Sam shakes their head.

“No, no- sorry.” They laugh nervously. “Just…” They gesture vaguely and Dean steps out of the doorway to let them in. They sit down on Dean’s bed anxiously, ready to bolt for the door at any second.

“So what’s going on?” Dean inquires. Sam takes a deep, shaky breath.

“I’m- you know what trans means?”

Dean nods. “Yeah.”

Sam nods, as well. “Good. Uh… I’m sort of trans. I’m- I’m nonbinary trans, which basically just means that I’m not a guy or a girl. Well actually in my case it means I’m sort of both, but that’s really not important right now.” They laugh awkwardly, cutting off their uncomfortable rambling. “So don’t call me your brother, basically. Um. My pronouns are they and them. And that’s non-negotiable.”

They cringe at themself. They were trying so hard to be confident and put their foot down and not give Dean any wiggle room because they knew if they gave him an inch they’d end up never enforcing their rules and never correcting Dean when he misgendered them. (Because he’s going to.)

Sam bites their lip as Dean processes. They can almost see the buffering symbol over Dean’s head and they can also see the moment when he finally gets it. And then, of course, he asks the same question Sam was already expecting to hear from him.

“Isn’t they and them for groups of people?”

Sam sighs. “They double as singular pronouns. You know how when you’re referring to a metaphorical person or someone whose gender is unknown? Like, if I mentioned a victim on a case, didn’t give you a name, just a description, you’d say ‘who are they’? It’s like that, but all the time.”

Dean nods slowly. “Well, I’m gonna suck at this, but I can try,” he finally says. Sam exhales loudly.

“Thank you, Dean,” Sam says, feeling more relieved than they expected to. “I- thanks. It means a lot to me.”

Dean nods. “Yeah, yeah,” he mutters. “Love you too, kiddo.”

#~+~#

It takes a while, and a lot of Sam correcting him, but eventually Dean gets to the point where he would correct himself. Sam isn’t ashamed to admit every time he did they smile a little.

They go shopping with Cas more and more often as their funds increase. Eventually they’re going every weekend, and they’ve started to establish a particular kind of taste in women’s clothing.

“Hey, Sammy,” Dean calls from the kitchen as they reenter the Bunker one day. “What’d ya get this time?”

Sam grins, starting to pull things out of their bag. “Well, I finally had the money for heels, so I got these.” They pull out their new black four-inch stilettos. “And I got this skirt,” they add, handing Cas the heels as they take out their new floor-length red skirt. “A couple blouses, a new belt, and one more dress.”

“You and your thing with dresses, man,” Dean scoffs, moving on to start chopping some cilantro. “What is up with that?”

Sam shrugs. “Just like ‘em.”

“Well, it’s cute, if a little embarrassing,” Dean mutters. Sam purses their lips and starts shoving things back into their bag to take into their bedroom.

Cas puts a hand on their back. “He’s cis,” she reminds them. “Cis people will never really understand.”

Sam nods. “I know,” they reply. “I’m just gonna go to bed, I think.”

Dean stops them on their way out. “Hey, Sam?”

Sam glances at him. “Yeah?”

“I know I’m not good at this, okay, but just… you’re my favorite sibling.”

Sam swallows hard. “Thanks, Dean,” is all they can say. Dean hugs them briefly with one arm, then releases them and pats them on the shoulder.

“Sorry,” he mutters, looking down, and Sam walks away.

It’s a start, they think as they sit down on their bed, thinking over the way Dean’s been trying, so hard, to support them since they came out. It’s something.

They smile a little bit as they start to put their new clothes away. Someone knocks on the door and Sam turns. “Hey, Cas,” they greet her quietly.

“He means well,” Cas tells them, perching on their desk.

Sam nods, scoffing. “I know he does,” they reply. “That doesn’t mean he does well.” Sam sighs. “I love the shit out of him but he just doesn’t get it.”

Cas laughs. “I have found that that is a common occurrence when it comes to your brother,” she tells them.

Sam shakes their head. “Yeah. Dean’s like that.”

“But you have me,” Cas reminds them. “And I’ll always be here for you.”

Sam nods. “I know. Of course I know. You’re my best friend.” They smile at her, and she glances down.

“I love you, Sam,” she repeats, just like she did when Sam came out to her. “I love you so much.”

She stands up and walks out of the room, and Sam stares after her, half confused and half wondering if maybe she meant a little more.

“Love you too, Cas,” they whisper to their empty bedroom.

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Agender Sam Winchester

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