#nonron

[scrapyardboyfriends]

This may be premature but I don’t care. I’m excited. Haha.

[kayceecruz]

All you can do is laugh because you can't care about something you are seeing though cell phone pictures/vids and the mention of a song that has no significance since there is no actual moment it's attached to?

They didn't even try with them so this so hollow and silly. I can't smh.

[sour-grape-s]

Won’t be watching live so will catch up later but I will be relying on you guys lbing the final end to this chemistry vacuum of a ‘relationship’ 👋🏻

[theheartneverliez]

Thanks to all the people I follow. You are so amazing and the LB tag has made me live. Someone would have to die for it to get better. 😂😂😂😂 point taken!!!

If he does die I may go back to Twitter to be an asshole and rub it in some peoples face. That’s who I am small, mean, and unforgiving. 😂😂

But it will allow Danny to really act and he can win some more awards.

NOTE:: maybe that’s what these producers are going to do. Have Aaron fall in love with a man kill him off win an award then go to next.

[fuckyeahmackenzieboyd]

Champagne anyone?? 

[hubz88]

So I see Aaron and Ben aren’t in the spoilers for next week yet again.  I am happy with this as I really don’t want to see them on-screen, but I am so confused about what the plan is here.  I understand with COVID there are bubbles and fewer actors on set, but is this not meant to be a story?  So far it has been a handful of scenes over a couple of episodes and weeks. The show has been rubbish for ages along with the stories and introduction of new characters, but they seemed to have managed it better with Meena and Mack who have at least interacted with different people and seem to have their own personalities and stories going on.  With no on/off going for a drink and round in circles with Aaron, Ben could be interacting with people he works with, making friends etc.  He feels like a complete and utter plot device right now with no purpose beyond Aaron, which doesn’t really sound like a developed, long term character.  The pacing still massively confuses me, the first week spoilers and scenes seemed like they were going to be dating by the Friday. If the show knew it was going to be a slower thing than that, why not have Ben hate Aaron originally and they are forced to work together or something whilst Ben thaws and they become friends first.  It would make more sense and would lead to more screen time.  Of course, we don’t know Danny and Simon’s schedules, but after this year with Aaron being on screen so little anyways, (literally must be his lowest screen count since later 2009), I kind of doubt that it is there decision.  No-one will read this anyway, but wanted to get my thoughts down.  Forever hoping this is a revenge plot or something on Ben’s part to make it make more sense and so I don’t really need to watch a relationship with them.  Honestly, if a normal relationship continued as they started it would be the dullest thing ever, so revenge, controlling etc relationship would be more interesting, screen time and award bait.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Ben and Aaron’s relationship - a summary (Just so the insane anons can see how little it all mattered. These are just all of Ben’s appearances.)

4 episodes of “oh hey you bullied me when we were in school” “yeah but there were reasons and I’m different now” “okay let’s date.

4 episodes of “we should get a drink I guess” “no now we’re over” “were we dating anyway?’

2 episodes of “Oh I forgot you existed but my little sister set me up with you for my birthday but I’m gonna pay more attention to her” “You’re toxic! Bye”

*** 4 and a half month break ***

10 episodes of “Hey remember me! Now I’m going to attach myself to you and your sister and her alcohol story but we’re never going to actually talk about the two of us and what we are and everyone’s going to be really confused as to whether or not we’re actually dating”

3 episodes of “Ooh Robert might get out of prison early and this is the most feeling I’ve put into scenes since January 2020 but oh wait…psych Ryan’s not returning so this can go nowhere and I’m stubborn so I guess I choose you Ben. Let’s go official”

2 episodes of “yay we’re official so that we can be a part of the greatest Pride episode ever!”

16 episodes of “Ben is lying to me about his alcoholic father that I already knew about and living in a shed but this is really all just to facilitate plot with Liv so he’s basically irrelevant.”

1 episode of Ben having a single scene with Russ to point him toward Wendy

6 episodes of “Hey I’m part of super soap week, cool, oh wait this is just to set up my death isn’t it”

*** 2 and a half months since their last scene together***

8 episodes of “Aaron finally showed up two weeks later to care about the events of super soap week” “And I’m gonna punch Jai” “Then I’m gonna break up with you…no wait! Let’s get back together. I love you.” “Love you too so it matters when you die” “Let’s move away together!”

1 episode of Ben getting whacked with a kayak paddle

1 episode of Ben being dead

[scrapyardboyfriends]

I uhh...wrote Plotdale for this week...

PLOTDALE - Where it’s all about the Plot and the characters don’t matter!

[The Desecrated Mill with Aaron and Ben]

AARON: Oh...you’re here. Did you move in while we were off screen for 2 and a half months?

BEN: Unclear. I’m just here to be relentlessly naive and positive about saving the HOP from going under. Did I mention that the survival challenge went horrifically wrong and someone literally didn’t survive and several other people nearly lost their lives and I might be held responsible for it?

AARON: *Disinterested Face* Eh, get a new job. 

BEN: BUT KAYAK’S ARE MY LIFE AND ONLY CHARACTER TRAIT! Plus I just really want to be super helpful to everyone throwing me under the bus at the HOP because CARE about everyone!

AARON: Typical you innit? Doing what the plot requires because you have no character otherwise. 

BEN: *Beams* So you’ll help me hang up all of these flyers I made?

AARON: That’s not done by Robert Sugden Designs! Er...I mean...I’m pretty ambivalent about it. 

BEN: Do it for me (and the Plot)!

AARON: Oh alright. Wow I miss when the Plot didn’t care about me at all.

[The HOP Office with Ben and Jai]

BEN: So what’s this Plot meeting about? Is it about my super awesome irrelevant idea to save the HOP?

JAI: You want to save the HOP? Great! You can take this bribe I’m offering and resign because you signed off on that bridge that collapsed and frankly you’re not a real character so you’re expendable so you know what? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

BEN: I’m a real character! Honest! I mean...at least the Plot is trying to make me be one this week! (I wonder if that’s a bad sign?) I’ll get a lawyer!

[The Desecrated Mill with our favorite happy trio, Ben, Aaron and Liv]

BEN: Jai tried to bribe me to resign and say it was all my fault! But you know...I better go and do more work for him anyway because I have no spine. 

LIV: Well that’s pathetic.

AARON: *Unnecessarily Aggressive Mode Activated* He’s not getting away with this. The Plot requires I forget all previous character growth and do something about this. 

[The HIDE with Ben, Aaron, Jai and Laurel]

AARON: *Unnecessarily Aggressive Mode* How dare you trigger my character regression by trying to blame my super official boyfriend for this super soap week fiasco?!

BEN: Aaron no! 

JAI: *Says enough things to make Aaron lose it for the sake of the Plot*

AARON: *Unnecessarily Aggressive Mode* *Punches Jai*

BEN: *Naively Shocked Face* The guy who used to bully me in school that I decided to date anyway still has anger issues when the plot requires it?!! Oh no!

LAUREL: Let’s all just calm down. This Plot is already exhausting. 

BEN: Aaron wants to apologize.

AARON: Uh...no I don’t. 

[The Desecrated Mill with Ben and Aaron]

BEN: How many times have I told you not to punch first and think later!

AARON: On screen or off? What does this say about our relationship?

BEN: I need to get some air and think. There’s nothing left for us to talk about.

AARON: That’s true. We have already done this scene before. 

[The Cafe with Aaron and a reporter]

AARON: *Takes a page out of Exit Story!Robert’s playbook* If the super official boyfriend is mad at me for using my fists, I’ll try another channel to potentially cause trouble! Hey Reporter Lady...Jai used to be a villainous character and it seems the Plot has required him to be again. We’re all just reverting to type these days. Write about that!

BEN: How could you!?

[Outside Dale View with Jai, Ben and Aaron]

JAI: There you are!

BEN: Huh, I guess I do still live here. 

JAI: You never should have talked to that reporter. Now I’m gonna ruin you!

BEN: I’ve dealt with bigger bullies than you! (Glances over at Aaron, the bully he’s dating….this is awkward)

JAI: Oh have you? I’ll let Aaron fill you in on my character history then *Exits stage left*

AARON: Oh uhh...yeah Jai once kidnappedCharity and locked her in a shipping container for several days. 

BEN: *Naively Shocked face* Kidnap!!? Shipping containers?! Why didn’t you tell me?!

AARON: Ben, you’re living in a soap mate. If you can’t handle a little light kidnap, you’d best find somewhere else to exist. I’ve been kidnapped and I’ve kidnapped someone. It’s no big thing. 

BEN: And so you punch the guy and make everything worse?!

AARON: We’re just wired differently I guess. 

BEN: And we always will be. Time for a big dramatic break up that will totally last this time!

[The Desecrated Mill with Aaron and Liv]

AARON: *Moping Mode Activated* I’ve ruined things with Ben again. Darn that bullying backstory coming up again! It’s almost like we’re ill suited for each other or something.

LIV: I know you’ve heard this pep talk a thousand times already, but are you sure it’s over. Just go talk to him again. 

AARON: *Moping Mode* Nope, it’s definitely for sure over this time. Just let me mope and be defeatist about it.

LIV: Oh alright. I have to hit rock bottom #500 cause 499 wasn’t enough so I’ll just go ahead and blame this all on myself instead. 

AARON: You haven’t even been on screen Liv...and frankly, neither have we. How can this possibly be your fault?

LIV: The Plot won’t let me get better Aaron. You should know how that feels. 

AARON: Fair point. 

[The Cafe with Ben and Wendy - what did we do to deserve this - and Aaron]

WENDY: Hey Ben, why so mopey?

BEN: I broke up with Aaron for really legitimate reasons and now the Plot is making me reconsider for inexplicable reasons. He hit Jai and I can’t take him lashing out all the time even though this is the first time he’s hit someone since we’ve been together but there’s our history...

WENDY: Aaron? Violent? I never would have guessed...oh wait...no I have to forget that for now. 

AARON: Can we talk?

*WENDY exits stage left*

BEN: I can’t do this Aaron. Not if the Plot won’t let you stop hitting people.

*Random BOB appearance in the background with bug eyes like this is a significant Plot point and foreshadowing - please let it be foreshadowing*

AARON: I can change. I promise. I’ve realized that I need to grow up. If only the Plot would let me. It’s not like I haven’t had this revelation on the back of significantly more involved and better written stories. But for you, Ben, for you I’ve realized I really need to change. Oh my god, even I don’t believe what I’m saying. 

BEN: Neither do I. And really, you shouldn’t have to change to make your partner happy. I need time to think. 

*AARON exits stage left* *WENDY enters stage right*

WENDY: I’ve remembered I don’t really like Aaron but I’m the obligatory third party here to say that he makes you happy even though the audience has never seen it on screen. 

BEN: Yeah...when it’s good, it’s really good. Off screen land is great. 

WENDY: So give him a chance. It’s not like he’s currently abusive right? (Is that foreshadowing? You decide)

BEN: No, just when we were at school. So I guess...maybe it’ll be fine now. 

[The Desecrated Mill with Ben and Aaron]

AARON: Go on then, finish it for good. 

BEN: Nope, I’ve done a 180 and now I think we should definitely get back together. 

AARON: Wait what?

BEN: Can you move a bit to the left so I can read the teleprompter behind you with my lines. Thanks. Now let me finish this super impassioned speech. 

AARON: But your favorite song is Take On Me and I think your music tastes are lame so we can’t be together even though I found Robert’s cheesy taste in music quite sweet and endearing. 

BEN: No Aaron, I want this. Relationships are supposed to be hard work right? That’s definitely how it’s supposed to be. So we can totally last years yeah? 

AARON: Uh...I guess. But the Plot is never gonna let me change. 

BEN: It’s fine. I never thought I’d find happiness with someone like you but the Plot has dictated that I think I do. *Inches closer*

*SOCIAL DISTANCING RESTRICTION BREAK ALERT*

AARON: You give me hope that someday I could have another storyline (although it’s probably not gonna be this one because it kind of feels like we’re being set up to fail here) *inches closer*

BEN: *Squints to read teleprompter* I think about you...constantly. You’re the reason I get out of bed in the morning.

AARON: Samesies! I mean...if it weren’t for these lame scenes with you, I wouldn’t be on screen at all probably. Remember when my fans thought that without ball and chain Robert around, I’d be getting all the screen time and stories? Jokes on all of us!

*HUGS* - for the three fans on twitter

(THREE FANS ON TWITTER: Oh my god it brings tears to my eyes!)

BEN AND AARON: (In overly practiced unison because we have to make this as nauseatingly lame as possible) I love you.

PLOT: And now they lived happily ever after *Record Scratch* I mean...they’re doomed right? I gave them a break up and an “I love you” crammed into two episodes after them being off screen for 2 and a half months and now Ben’s gonna get a job out of town and find the footage of Meena trying to drown Vic. I have foreshadowed.