I have probably given too much info tbh, must be the autism in me.
Reading: The journey into S.E.N.D Motherhood (I am actually not a mother, I borrowed this off my sister, she has 2 boys who are autistic, as I am). The book is a combination of mothers with children with disabilities, telling their story and they are part of SEND Reform England, working towards improving support for disabled children, the process, wait for assessment, struggles with schooling etc.
Last series: Red Eye series 2 on ITV, really enjoying it.
Last film: Wicked (part 2) at the cinema, love a musical. Oh actually also saw Happy Feet at the cinema more recently and go to autism friendly screenings regularly with my nephews, sister and mum.
Last song: Beverly Knight - Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda - I mostly list to 00's and 10's heart radio at the moment. Also like 90's, 00's rnb.
Sweet or salty: Depends what mood I am in, generally salty. Love a crisp. Although if this means non savoury sweet things, I love a vegan carrot cake or chocolate.
Coffee or tea: Tea, with plant based milk as I am vegan, or some herbal teas, but I hate coffee, the smell alone makes me gag.
Working on: Finding a job, improving my CV, doing on-line free courses to help improve my employability and in the meantime I am pet sitting, (I have actually been a pet sitter for about 9 years).
Tagging: I don't talk to anyone on here, so I don't really have anyone to tag. But if anyone wants to get involved, feel free.
I have so much to say about today but my GOD. If you need an example of how much trust Danny and Ryan have in each other, just look at the breakdown scene! The way Robert threw Aaron off of him, pushing and shoving, and how Aaron was grabbing him aggressively to help calm him down. It must have been brutal to film both physically and emotionally, but it couldn’t work if you don’t trust your scene partner 100%. These two are something special.
up in my lonely room (when i’m dreaming of you) - ao3 link
Robert’s exhausted.
Physically, mentally, emotionally — just exhausted.
From the way people have been staring at him all week, he bets he looks it, too. He’s all too familiar with the dark circles that frame his eyes and the endless downward curve of his mouth.
But he was holding it together. Barely—but he was.
At least until Friday happened.
Friday had broken him. It brought Harry, the banging of the drums, the flashbacks—everything he’d buried. And John, of course. Always there to save the day, always perfect. John.
And now Vic has gone, too. Taken Harry to visit Diane.
“I need a break,” she’d said. Didn’t say from you, but it was there. Heavy. Obvious.
And that — is how he ends up here — standing in the middle of his wrecked bedroom, his fists aching, breath ragged, surrounded by the fallout of his own horrors.
It feels pathetic now. All of it. The smashed TV, the overturned coffee table, the dent in the wall — none of it made anything better. It never does.
He’d expect it. The breakdown. It was inevitable, really. Hurried along by his half-brother’s pushing-pushing-pushing.
What he doesn’t expect, though — is Aaron.
He’s standing in the doorway of Robert’s bedroom, eyes sweeping over the small space. Wide, uncertain. There’s something raw in his expression — not just surprise, but something closer to fear, or maybe hesitation. Like he’s bracing for what he might find.
“Robert—,” he whispers, as if he’s speaking to an afraid animal. “What’re you—?”
And that’s all it takes, for the final piece of Robert to snap.
Aaron doesn’t flinch when Robert finally lets out a broken cry and hurls the beer bottle he’d had clutch in his hand at the wall. It shatters into a thousand glittering pieces that catch the light for only a second before they fall and become just another part of the chaos around them.
Robert doesn’t hear Aaron move. He’s too far gone — heart pounding, fists clenched, breath stuttering in ragged bursts. The world is distant, blurred, until suddenly—
Arms. Strong. Familiar. Wrapping around his chest from behind.
Not to hold him back — but to hold him together.
It’s not rough. Not forceful. Just steady.
Calming. Anchoring.
“Easy,” Aaron murmurs near his ear, his voice low, careful. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.”
robron fic prompt?
“You seem more yourself when you’re with me.”
Aaron has always looked tense, shoulders shooting up and a frown fixed on his face like he’s waiting for something bad to happen. Robert remembers telling Aaron to allow himself to just be happy, just to let the feeling wash over him instead of trying to work out what terrible thing is going to happen soon.
To his credit, Aaron was right to always be wary. Something bad did always end up happening. Robert doesn’t want to think about that though, he wants to focus on the fact that they made each other laugh so much it hurt sometimes, they had hopes and dreams and promises of a future before Robert ruined it.
Aaron always looked tense. It’s true. But Robert also was able to see the opposite of that, he was able to see Aaron melted into his arms, relaxed and settled. He was able to get Aaron to pull silly faces and stick his tongue out when they played video games way into the night. He saw Aaron soft and unassuming and so beautiful.
Aaron said Robert made his head go all nice and quiet once and it was one of the best compliments Robert had ever received.
Now, Aaron’s arms are wrapped around Robert’s middle and he’s half asleep. They’re at Vic’s. They’re getting stupidly reckless now but Aaron came over to bring round a toy of Harry’s and they just ended up here. It just happened like it was inevitable or something.
Robert wants to say that. He also wants to kiss Aaron so hard that Aaron’s neck tilts back and his mouth opens wide and he forgets who John is, forgets his own name.
Ten minutes ago, Robert had two fingers in Aaron’s mouth and just stared at all this want in Aaron’s eyes. It made Robert feel alive in a way that he hasn’t done in years.
Now, Aaron’s leaning even more into Robert’s chest like he wants to dissolve into him. He’s breathing gently, soft little noises that make Robert remember quiet mornings at the Mill, Liv out early to help Doug with his allotment, hours of nothing stretched out in front of them.
“I should go.” Aaron says, his voice is all gravely and hot. Robert closes his eyes around what he’s saying.
“You said you wouldn’t do that.” Robert reminds Aaron of something he said weeks ago. Aaron shouldn’t say that, if he needs to go he should just leave because Robert can’t handle him saying goodbye, kissing him sweetly and promising to meet again soon.
Robert is deciding to treat every time like it might be the last because it’s probably true. The other night he had a dream about winding John up a little too much and then finding out that he was leaving with Aaron for a fresh start somewhere far away. He woke up in a cold sweat feeling like he was going to be sick.
Aaron looks up, looks right at Robert and then bites his lip like it’ll stop him from crying. “Sorry.” He says.
Robert expects Aaron to move but he doesn’t. Instead, Aaron closes his eyes and tilts his head so that it’s resting a little on Robert’s cheek. It’s intimate in a way they are now, in a way that Robert would never think they’d have again.
Robert reaches out and starts massaging at Aaron’s left shoulder. Aaron relaxes even more. “I don’t like when you’re tense.”
“Really? I love it.” Aaron mumbles sarcastically into Robert’s chest as he slides himself down a little. He stretches himself right over Robert and then lets out this gentle sigh that makes Robert feel like he’s doing something good.
“You always look tense when I see you around.” Robert steadies himself. “With him.” He adds, because it’s true. Aaron looks like he’s waiting on something to happen, like John is someone he has to be perfect for.
Aaron tenses now, Robert freezes the hand he has on Aaron’s shoulder.
“I thought we wouldn't talk about that stuff.” Aaron doesn’t look up, just drums his fingers across Robert’s bare chest.
That stuff is Aaron’s husband. Robert’s psycho of a brother.
“He told Vic you love hiking now. He’s converted you.” Robert’s pushing it now but he can’t help it.
Aaron finally sits up. Robert’s ruined it.
“I’ve changed Robert.” Aaron shrugs his shoulders and then shakes his head like he’s angry. “You don’t know –”
“I do know Aaron.” Robert puffs his chest out, can’t help but feel confident about this. “I don’t know the ins and outs of village gossip, who cheated on who and what scandals rocked Home Farm whilst I’ve been away but I know you. I know you and you know me.”
Aaron looks down, admits defeat almost.
“You’ve been gone for six years.” Aaron chews his lip again. This time he wipes tears from his blue eyes and then looks down at Robert’s naked body like he’s drinking him in again. “A lot’s changed.”
Robert knows that. Of course he knows that.
“I know what we are.” Robert says. “I’ve seen you with other blokes, unfortunately.” That perfect doctor just appears in Robert’s mind. He watches Aaron squirm a little. “I’ve seen with you John, and you’re not the same.”
Aaron sighs hard. “Of course I’m not. It’s a different –” He waves a hand out, he only ever does that when words are completely failing him. Robert remembers. “I’m different ‘cause he’s different, it’s quieter, there’s no chaos or – or –”
“Passion?” Robert decides to be a prick about it.
“Don’t.” Aaron says, like he didn’t nearly give Robert a concussion by whacking his head against the wall whilst kissing him less than an hour ago.
Robert tilts his head to the side and reaches a hand out towards Aaron. He strokes Aaron’s knuckles with his index finger. “It’s like you’re quieter.” He whispers. “Like he speaks for you, like he’s – got something over you.”
Robert looks up, sees Aaron’s eyes dart just for a second.
“He’s a good man.”
Robert sighs, then waves a hand up. “OK.” He says. “I just think that you seem more yourself when you’re with me.”
Robert doesn’t expect Aaron to start crying at that, he doesn’t expect Aaron to hit him in the chest and then wrap his arms around Robert to pull him into a hug.
“Hey.” Robert hasn’t seen Aaron cry like this since he came back. Aaron’s practically shaking as he pulls his hands up to hold the back of Robert’s neck. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you –” He whispers.
“You’re really annoying. You know that?” Aaron whispers, right into the crook of Robert’s neck.
Robert takes it. He stays where he is, and lets Aaron hold him. Aaron calls him annoying rather than calling him wrong about what he thinks and Robert thinks that says it all.
A little edit of Aaron at Liv's funeral, with 'haunting-but-alive ghost Robert' behind him, using Ryan's funeral scene from Silent Witness and the latest quote from Aaron.
Here is a petition that UK citizens can sign, encouraging the UK government to assist a ceasefire in Gaza and to assist ending the occupation of Palestine.
https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/648292
You will need:
Name
Postcode
Email
UK citizenship
The signature will not count unless you click a link that will be sent to you by email.
All UK petitions with more than 100k signatures are discussed in Parliament. The petition already has over a 100k and parliament are waiting to find a time to discuss it, but the more signatures it gets, the more pressure we can put on the government to do something.
EDIT: A petition from Amnesty International demanding a ceasefire. ANYONE FROM ANY COUNTRY can sign this petition:
Just seen there are several pages of Emmerdale episodes on ITV hub for their 50th, both robron weddings, SSW aftermath & robrons first kiss & that is the episode title. I haven’t seen full episode, just put it on. Also Aaron coming out & Jackson episodes.
Kia Ora not sure where my Bday post ended up??😜🤔. So try sending it in an ask...😀🤞. A big Bday shout out from Aotearoa🥳🥂🇳🇿🎉to my Fav little Brit #Robron always shipper😀💙⛵. Enjoy our DMs about the state of current ED and remembering when it was actually good😀🙄🙄😜.
