#nothingispersonal

[rishisdesigns]

RISHISCHOOL a school that teaches true knowledge

[anditmayshow]

Today I celebrate new friends. I've made the most new friends this past year than any other time in my adult life. It definitely is less easier now than it was in grade school when making friends was as simple as sharing the same interest in pizza eating mutant turtles. I actually had to put in effort by going to events with like-minded folks, opening my self to meeting friends of friends, and even reaching out to people online. I'm feeling super thankful for these new faces, these new beautiful souls I get to share a bit of my life with.

[anditmayshow]

But baby... She’s fat. Like super fat. Not phat. Just fat.

[anditmayshow]

i’ve started drawing again. i need to go get some books from the library for reference/inspiration. 

i need to start writing again. i have some stories in my head i need to flesh out. 

although all i want to do right now is go on a long, fast bike ride to nowhere and clear my head. this is probably a byproduct of not meditating. sitting has become difficult, so i need the help of two wheels to get me going. although quiet and stillness are emphasized for meditation, i really believe the most important thing is to be alone, to be with yourself, to be by yourself, to be yourself. meditation is the time you take to completely love yourself.

[anditmayshow]

I finally meditated today at lunch. Well, I tried. I fell asleep. Three hours of sleep makes a Maria tired. 

Note to self: Don’t lose it. Don’t lose yourself. You’ve been doing so well, don’t get lost again. To love is to let go, not to grasp. Keep your palms open and watch. Love yourself and watch. Watch, be mindful, be free, be grateful, be generous. Let things flow so as to not have anything be muddied up. 

Draw, dance, paint, swim, bike, be happy for no reason. The reason will always come.

Love and light.

[anditmayshow]

first date conversations.

me: i like him. he’s smart, and super funny.

jen: that’s good, tita. you’re special though. i hope he can handle you.

me: sigh.

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me: what do you think of this dress?

janet: you kinda look like a waitress.

me: yeah. i look like a fancy dimsum cart pusher.

janet: shumai? custard pie?

me: yeah. i look like a dimsum cart pusher who provides happy endings. i’m not buying this dress.

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janet: are you gonna wear that dress to your date?

me: i want to, but it seems kind of too much, no?

janet: nope. with the exception of a wedding dress and weather inappropriate clothing, anything that makes me look and feel amazing is game to me.

me: i do have a wedding dress. it looks great on me.

janet: yeah. don’t. not to chinatown unless you’re a cosplayer.

me: i think you’re thinking of little tokyo.

[darkeulogy]

It’s been a year since I made a Tumblr I guess.

So it’s been a year since i fucked over my future.

[bombtheblocks]

The feels have been real since bisco. But they aren't all sad and lonely like they used to be. They've been replaced with other types of feels now that I'm much more capable of dealing with. I can't complain ✌🏻️ there is only progression from where I was a year ago.