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Ain't No Mountain (4620 words) by Snickfic Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Mature Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Castiel/Claire Novak, Castiel & Claire Novak Characters: Claire Novak, Castiel Additional Tags: Dubious Consent, Post-Episode: s08e23 Sacrifice, Fallen Castiel, Unsafe Sex, Pseudo-Incest Summary:

This time, Castiel's the one sitting still, and Claire's the one blowing into his life with gale force.

Fic by me! For Rarewomen!

#castiel #claire novak #novakcest #spn #rarewomen #:DDDD #I am really excited about this one #I have not been this excited about a fic I've finished in quite a while #and my recip gave me an excuse to write this pairing that I've been wanting to write for ages #my fic

((6)) ((12))

6. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

god I can't even think of how many fics I've considered but not done. that's mostly just failure to produce though? like, the wips I have I mostly know where they're going, I just don't work on them because I suck. even the verses I really want to write about take me literal years to complete things for so the less-invasive ideas just float on away

and actually I feel like if I ever sat down to write one of those pwps that I'm always jabbering about that I would have a really hard time of it (heh heh heh) because I've only actually written sex scenes a handful of times and all of them were like pulling teeth to choreograph??? plus I lapse into cliché a lot more often with porn, that is what comes of reading so many mediocre kinkmeme fills so :/

(other people should write things for me is the message here)

12. What WIPs do you have going now? Are you excited about them?

I'm pretty sure cambionverse has at least ten fics that are currently in progress, which is partly because we're rewriting existing fics to fit our later headcanons and partly just because liz and I have no self-control. I'M SUPER EXCITED FOR ENVESSELED AND I'M HOPING IT WILL MAKE AT LEAST SOME OF YOU CRY

the other thing I have been writing on and off for the past year or so is the second episode of novakcest, in which the twins return to pontiac and meet a woman in white. sneak peek:

"I heard just this morning you were back," Sheriff Mills says. "Honestly, though, I didn't believe it. Didn't think Pontiac was ever gonna see your face again." Her gaze flicks behind him. "As it were.”

You and me both, thinks Jacob. "Jimmy came got me," he says.

The look she gives him at that is a little too shrewd for his liking, but all she says is, "He around?"

"Sure, yeah," he says. This is giving him deja vu. "Jimmy! It's for you!" he yells to the house at large. Too late he realizes that this, minus a metric ton of teenage resentment, is exactly what used to happen any time Amelia came over. God, he can't even answer the door without fucking something up. "Come in," he mutters, and watches to see her cross the salt line before going to flush Jimmy out.

I would be the most excited but hahahahaha this will never ever get posted hahahahaha

#ferricent #memes #novakcest #cambionverse #cally is a writer #except not actually because I am the actual worst at finishing things #if it weren't for liz we would still be waiting for the first tfw2 fic to be posted #I consider the completion of unto dust to be nothing short of a miracle

after much consideration, i'm going with 8, 10, and 16

8. Favorite plot point/chapter/moment?

the best idea I've ever had while writing remains the fire kiss in Cambion YOU KNOW THE ONE

10. Favorite line or lines of dialogue that you've written

oh my god too many to count, dialogue is my favorite thing (as well you know)

here is some ben/jesse flirting from Only Human:

"Some doctor you are," Ben grumbles, but he's pleased to see Jesse approach him again with no hint of awkwardness. "You don't even give out lollipops."

"Only the good kids get lollipops," Jesse answers, and when he looks down Ben sees him hiding a smile behind those long bangs.

and some more

"Well, if it's proof you need," Jesse says, and holds up a handful of flames. He raises an eyebrow. "Walking and talking, baby."

and claire giving dean the smackdown

Claire sheaths her knife, looking like she'd be just as happy to unsheath it again. "Oh, I'm sorry, are we not accepting help from supernatural entities now? Be sure to let Castiel know, I hear he's gotten fond of you."

ALSO THIS INSINUATION HAHAHA

"Sam anticipated your request," Castiel says in his usual gravelly voice, holding out a whiskey bottle filled with something that is definitely not whiskey. His hair is rumpled. "He also wishes me to pass on a message."

"One ounce per person, yeah, Cas, I got it," Dean says, hefting the bottle.

"No," Castiel says, "he said: 'consider this a sock on the door.'"

There is a very long pause.

okay I'm gonna leave it at that but the point is, I'm hilarious and everyone should really like me

16. 3 favorite comments ever received on fanfic.

ALL OF THE COMMENTS ON MY NOVAKCEST POSTS ARE GOLD BUT ESPECIALLY ONES FROM THIS COMIC I MADE AND THE AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ON MY TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT NOVAKTERPRETATIONS. I miss novakcest's LJ heyday oh jesus was that really 2011 where do the years go

(on actual fic, my favorite is Wolfsbride's comment on Incirrate: "Well, that's the nicest tentacle sex I've ever read. Job well done." highest praise.)

#thegeminisage #memes #novakcest #cambionverse #cally is a writer #you could probably have guessed the answer to almost all of these but so it goes #the saddest part of lj's decline was the lack of a forum for novakcest commentfic #because that was the form in which most of it existed #I miss it so muhuhuhuch #but luckily I have cambionverse to keep me warm in the meantime

i love how you go silent for weeks and then it's robonovakcest and P&P coffee shop AU, which omg all my luuuuuurve for grumpy darcy and tea (I HATE COFFEE WITH ALL MY HEART AND STOMACH AND NOSE).

HAHAHAHA I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT I AM THE WORST AT TUMBLR. dear followers, my love for you is like an exultation of migratory birds that invades your dash every few weeks with great fluttering enthusiasm and coos about coffeeshops and poops on your statuary. THE BEST KIND OF LOVE Y/Y

(the crossover where robonovaks enter darcy’s coffee shop? anyone?)

#drivingsideways33 #novakcest #jacob orders his coffee 'black like my soul' because if nothing else hell has given him a sense of humor #jimmy rolls his eyes and orders a mocha latte #even though he is a robot and has no need for sustenance #then pretends not to notice when jacob drinks the entire latte and leaves the black coffee to slowly go cold #as he scribbles mad science equations on the napkins and eventually the surface of the table #which darcy then has to scrub off that evening cursing maths and everything to do with coffee #when the novaks return the next day he tries to throw them out #and jacob is like THAT'S DISCRIMINATION JUST BECAUSE JIMMY IS A ROBOT DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT #and darcy's like #who is a what now #and jacob is like what no nobody here has death lasers in their torso hahahahahaha O_O #meanwhile jimmy goes off to get jacob more coffee because that is definitely more efficient than waiting for the meatsacks to stop babbling #he accidentally uploads himself to the espresso machine and is just about to start spraying hot coffee everywhere in a panic #when georgiana comes over to his currently-empty chassis and gives it a brisk jolt with her pocket taser #naturally jimmy returns to his body with death lasers a-glowing #and darcy is like YOU DARE APPROACH MY SISTER #and jacob is like shit shit shit shit #but georgiana just calmly tells jimmy which piece of his code let that happen and how to prevent it in future #and goes merrily on her way with a basket of muffins for charlotte #and jacob is like #it's too bad I'm already in creepy narcissistic love with my robotic twin #because damn.#I shouldn't give this verse a tag I'm just going to encourage it #but #tales of pemberley cafe #the one where robojimmy is meant literally #I'm the worst #tagfic

zempasuchil replied to your post “18 18 18 18 18 oh wait novakcest is incest in canon 8D”

OH NO THE AU WHERE NO ONE IS RELATED?? the au where no one is related so they pretend to be related. the au where they roleplay incest kink because they're uncanny doppelgangers. I'm so here for this. THE AIS OMFG YES

tentacledog replied to your post “18 18 18 18 18 oh wait novakcest is incest in canon 8D”

'ESPECIALLY THE ROBOTS ONE' CALLY why r u so great

I'm realizing belatedly that in fact novakcest has a canon episode where they meet a doppelganger and the shifter is not, technically speaking, related to them, but that train of thought has been overridden by ROBOVAKS HOW MUCH DO I NEED THEM

SO MUCH!!!!!!!

but wait. wait wait wait guys. what if this is a pygmalion/galatea situation, what if jacob is a mad robot scientist who chooses to make his robotic companion LOOK EXACTLY LIKE HIMSELF omfg jacob r u kidding me, even jimmy gives him the side-eye once he wakes up. jacob is like "this is in case you need to go incognito as me" and jimmy is like "I have lasers in my eyeballs why on earth would I want to pretend to be a fleshy meatsack like yourself" and jacob is like "don't you sass me, I can turn you off anytime I want" and then crawls into jimmy's lap and whispers "I can also turn you on anytime you want" and jimmy is like ERROR : TERRIBLE PICKUP LINE but it totally works anyway.

"if you ever go darkside and try to exterminate humanity and I have to deconstruct you for your own good," jacob promises at one point, "I will send your head to the moon."

"sweet talker," jimmy says.

#zempasuchil #tentacledog #ladies please #novakcest #also this is a metaphor for season two #when jimmy has all these weird powers and jacob is trying to mold him into something which if not quite human is at least a useful weapon #and jimmy believes himself to be the stronger of the two #just as jacob believes he holds the reins #they are both wrong #ROBOT AUS FOR ALL #jimmy/jacob

18 18 18 18 18 oh wait novakcest is incest in canon 8D

hahahahahahaha iluTHE AU WHERE IT'S NOT INCEST???? the au where they are strangers who look exactly the same through freak genetic coincidence. the au where they are completely independent AIs that happen to have been loaded onto the same chassis. the au where every single person in the world has misha's face. this is it. the mishapocalypse. flee now.

#zempasuchil #memes #in every one of these aus jimmy and jacob are totally in love #but especially the robots one #novakcest #misha collins no

so hi, I am super excited to have found your blog, Novakcest is pretty much my favorite thing right now because Jacob Glaser is amazing and needs to show up in Supernatural at some point

I AGREE. we open season nine on a quiet afternoon in an anonymous countryside. a man with blue eyes and spiky black hair is peeling himself off a roadway. he considers the blood on his palms. “fuck,” he says eloquently. something is on fire behind him. the camera zooms in on flaming monoliths and the charred outline of a circular metallic object. this is not castiel. this, friends, is jacob glaser.

#headingtowardstheend #novakcest #stonehenge apocalypse #jacob glaser #asks #I really want the SA timeline to line up with SPN's in such a way that #when jacob does the thing with the antikythera mechanism and emits this burst of light #this is at the same time as metatron completes his spell #so jacob #in stonehenge #is blasted upward with the force of the explosion #and is abruptly brought back down to earth #due to an angel crashing into him on the way down #(hint)#(it's castiel)#and jacob is like 'jimmy??' and castiel is like 'ah'#'whoops'#'carry on'#as if jacob has ever made anything so easy #when jacob finds out that cas is occupying jimmy's body indefinitely #that cas has essentially moved in and made the vessel his home #like a creeping vine that strangles a tree and then stands in the outline of its decaying corpse #jacob's gonna be pissed.#(then they bone)#jimmy/jacob #jacob/cas #jacob pretending it's an ot3 no matter how often cas tells him there's no one in there but him #jacob tells the real story #and this story is supposed to have a happy ending #right

"Wait," Jesse cuts in. He can feel something in the world changing, something in his power waking up. "Doesn't Jimmy have anyone else in his family that could help?" "Claire was... impossible luck," Castiel replies, "But there's only one other blood pattern that could guarantee that someone could become working vessel." Jesse's power is boiling now. He can't understand why the angel isn't screaming. Can't it feel reality beginning to change? "You mean if he had, what, a brother?" "No. A twin."

YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING GAME

no but you don’t understand how much time I spent convincing myself not to make jacob references during that conversation. what if claire never knew she had an uncle. what if jacob has his own protective enochian in tattoos even more impressive than her scars because goddammit he knows what happened to his brother. what if claire hands him a knife and says "break them." what if jacob takes it, because she's jimmy's daughter.

BUT JESSE CONJURING A SECOND JIMMY FROM THIN AIR, COMPLETE WITH SOUL JUST TO PREVENT CLAIRE FROM HAVING TO SAY YES AGAIN

in short I hate you.

p.s. for those who are totally confused right now, I (cally) have another verse called novakcest where jimmy novak has a twin brother named jacob (as in glaser, as in STONEHENGE APOCALYPSE because misha). they fight monsters. also bone.

#ferricent #cambionverse #novakcest #believe me there is still time for the streams to cross #what if jacob has been collecting scraps of grace himself because he wants to reverse-engineer it #what if castiel left some grace on the moon #and jacob demands that while he's up there #he retrieve the robot head #(what if jimmystiel and jacob make out)#ugh #novakcest aus are the quickest way to completely incapacitate me #THANKS A LOT #asks