#noz writes

[blessedburial]

Aslan Jade Callenreese is really Holden Caulfield, a theory.

Okay. Not really. Ash and Holden are two different characters in their own stories. I mean, yes, they do share mannerisms but that’s not what I want to talk about here. I want to talk about this ending right here. MAPPA, you’ve done it again. 

TL;DR: The ending credits seem like a pretty good allusion to The Catcher in the Rye, perhaps expressing Ash’s true feelings towards his purpose on the Earth.

Thought the story, Banana Fish is chock-full of allusions to great American writers. I mean, the title Banana Fish in itself is an allusion to the short story, A Perfect Day for Banana Fish, which was written by... yep! you guessed it! J.D. Salinger. And if you have ever sat through an American high school English class, you’ve probably read The Catcher in the Rye, a novel about sixteen-year-old Holden Caulfield who travels to New York City to discover his purpose in life after being kicked out of his prep school. 

In The Catcher in the Rye, Holden explains to his younger sister, Phoebe, that he doesn’t wish to have a normal career or life. Instead, he wants to be the protector of innocence. He says, “What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff—I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all.”  On the surface level, Holden is portrayed as unstable, but really, he wants to be the barricade for children as they move into adulthood, preserving their innocence in a way that he wasn’t allowed to under his circumstances. 

Wait a minute... young man wants to protect the innocent from “falling off the cliff” of cruel and unwashed reality? Hm. Sounds like another protagonist we know. A protagonist who would protect a certain boy with his life and refuses to let said boy fire a gun or see him as a monster. And boy, it sure does look like Ash is calling Eiji back, but back from where? Is there a cliff just beyond the horizon that we cannot see? Whatever it may be, it’s hard to ignore the wheat-field as the animators make it pretty clear that the scenery is an important detail to the story.

Innocence is a common theme, if not the main theme, in Banana Fish, both in regards to the consequences of destroying that innocence and the ordeals it takes to preserve that innocence. I mean shoot, you could almost say that Eiji looks child-like in this shot below. Like he is running through a wheat-field, unaware of the danger up ahead. Irony is not lost in this scene. 

All in all, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that MAPPA decided to use a wheat-field as the background to the ending credits and honestly, I appreciate that they are keeping the trend of using American literature to express the characters’ true feelings. 

Final note: Not that I’m saying there’s a relation, but Caulfield and Callenreese sound pretty close together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[blessedburial]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

one month ago I finished publishing my tododeku flower shop au and one month later, I’m finally posting about it. better late than never?

[blessedburial]

It was supposed to be an easy mission, a warmup to her future as the Wraith- attend the party, make friends with the merchant, and strike a deal. Kaz had picked this mission out for her- a stepping stone to working independently. She had only been with the Dregs for two months and mainly worked side-by-side with the one and only Kaz Brekker himself. Sure, she had done some small missions here or there, but this was the first one that held some importance to the gang. Her target was Grell Synder, a gun merchant who was invested in black market trade more than his ailing wife’s health. Inej didn’t think that the words, “No mourners, no funerals” applied to this mission but Kaz Brekker was never one to disappoint.

[blessedburial]

And the Lightning Strikes Down on Our Broken Bodies

in which Kiun finds out why you shouldn’t help a god through the hard way  

Soft sniffles could be heard underneath the blooming sakura tree as a huddled boy clutched at his chest, his fingers scrabbling for control over his shaking body and erratic breathing.

Never again, never again. Never again will I try to use my lightning.

“Master?” Kiun’s hushed voice, almost like he was too scared to even breathe around the god, shattered Take’s thoughts in a thousand different streaks. Take shot up, his wary eyes landing on his guidepost in front of him. 

Kiun stared at Take, his pleading eyes searching for a story that his master would never share with him.

“Let’s get-” Kiun paused to look around at his surroundings with a suspecting glint, “Please, come with me.”

Kiun extended his hand out the god who shrank back into himself. His eyes darted around the yard, looking for an escape route.

“Please.” Kiun squated down to Take’s level and locked glares with the god. Soft eyes met hard and Kiun felt the compelling urge to bow down and be submissive. He wanted to say, “Please forgive me, forgive us. Please trust me and I will never let you down again, I promise,” but the words got stuck in his dry throat.

Take glanced down at the hand that was hovering in front of his body, and gulped back hot, rising tears. Hands. Hands just like that were just on me. On my face and my stomach, punishing me. Punishing me for something that I don’t remember doing.

“Master,” Kiun whispered with more command in his voice, a rare occurrence. Take didn’t even realize he was reliving the last hour in his head until Kiun’s soothing voice pulled him out of the nightmare.

Take unclenched his fist from his side, wincing as he realized how sore his fingers were for being curled up in such a tight ball. A small smile ghosted the face of Kiun as he felt the light weight of the child’s hand being placed on his larger, outstretched hand.

“Are you hungry?” Kiun asked, well aware of the last time Take was allowed to eat a full meal.

Take let that question hang in the stilled air between them, distrust and fear running through his veins and finding their way back into his heart.

Kiun stood up with Take’s hand still in his grasp, “Well then, I know just the thing for you.”

***

One bowl of rice later and Take’s spirits had seemed to have been lifted. Kiun sighed in relief when the color began to return to Take’s face. Raw, hot anger spiked through his chest as he studied his master. How anyone could lay a hand on such a innocent reincarnation was beyond him, but it wasn’t in his position to argue with the elders. The elders knew what they were doing; they had known the god longer than Kiun had.

The muted sound of the chopsticks hitting the side of the bowl alerted Kiun that Take had completed his meal.

“How are you feeling, Master?” Kiun asked precariously.

His master just gazed at him with unblinking eyes, challenging Kiun to say another word. Kiun held his gaze before turning away to the open door out into the hallway. It had been risky bringing Take into the dining room to get food, but luckily the elders were at a meeting regarding a certain situation that had taken place a couple hours ago regarding a certain power Take was not allowed to use. That had bought them at least two hours. The elders could never really decide on the most efficient punishment to dole out to Take.

“Let’s get you back to your room so you can continue on studying the history of the legal system in Japan.” Kiun grimaced. It sounded ten times more boring outloud than in his head.

“I don’t want to,” Take grumbled, but stood up from the table nonetheless.

“It’s important for you to learn these things if you want to lead councils when you’re older.” Kiun prayed he was being the voice of reason to the very unreasonable god.

“It’s not my job.”

Kiun thought he heard that last remark, like it was a whisper in the wind, but quickly shook his head against it. Leading Take out of the dining room, he didn’t even hear the returning shuffling of the twelve elders until it was too late.

“Kiun?” One of the members asked in shock, “What are you doing here with Takemikazuchi?”  

Kiun felt his blood run cold as he slowly turned around to face the council standing around him. He didn’t even feel Take slip behind him until a small hand grabbed onto the back of his leg, clinging desperately.

“I, uh-” Kiun paused to steady his voice, “The Master was-”

“You do not interact with Takemikazuchi unless we tell you to.” The voice was short and clipped as one of the elders in the middle stepped closer to the pair.

“Your interactions,” he sneered, “Are getting dangerous but you seem to be unaware of the repercussions of interacting with our god here. We must teach you why these sessions will only lead to strife.”

Kiun paled, his hand wrapping behind his back and pulling Take closer to his body protectively. “No, really, I was taking him back to his room. There is no need to overreact.”

“I think there is plenty of reasons to overreact. Takemikazuchi, come here.”

Fighting against the grip of Kiun who was desperately trying to keep Take behind him, Take finally slipped past the struggling shinki and slunk over to the elders’ side.

The elder, who had stepped forwards, grabbed Take’s arm in a vice-like grip. 

Kiun winced when he saw pain shoot across the god’s face.

“Now, you know what to do. Just like you practice,” The elder spat at Take.

“No.” The word was barely a whisper, “Not to him.”

Kiun recoiled in disgust as he watched a hand fly across Take’s face, the sharp sound echoing in the crowded hallway.

“No is not an option.”

Take looked up to the elder defiantly, the red mark contrasting against his pale face.

“Master.” Kiun choked back his fear. They are not allowed to hurt him in my place. “Do what they say.” He lowered himself to the ground and placed his forehead against the wood panelling of the floor.

Take stepped forwards, raising one shaking hand in front of the shinki before him.

I can’t do it. I don’t want to use my lightning on him.

“Oh don’t worry, my dear Master,” the main elder sneered, “That precious shinki over there can’t get too hurt.  After all, he’s lightning himself.”

A chorus of laughter deafened the ears of the god.

“Master, trust me and please do as they say.”

Trust. What a funny word trust was.  

“You do not trust me, and I do not trust you,” Take took another step forwards, a familiar darkness flooding into his eyes.

White-hot lightning snaked around Take’s form and ran down his arms. He tried one last attempt to save his  cowering guidepost. “Please, don’t make me.”

Kiun’s heart squeezed painfully as he saw small tears land on the ground in front of him.

“He must learn what happens when you disregard the rules placed by the elders.” The closest elder took a step back away from the storm brewing around them.

“Master, please, just do as they say.”

“My shinkis are always right.” The mantra that Take been forced to learn rolled off his tongue before he could stop it.

Kiun glanced up at the god and nodded in agreement, never removing his eyes from the scared god before him until his sight was blinded by white light.

Sharp electricity ran through Kiun’s body, his body convulsing against his own accord. He clenched his teeth, grinding them together, trying to not yell out in pain. You’re weak, you are a shinki who has the power of lightning and you’re still affected by it. He barely heard the cries of the god above him who was begging the elders to let him stop as the lightning continued to rain down on Kiun.

“More. Make your shinki regret helping you.”

Kiun lost the sliver of control he had over the situation as the magnitude of electricity coursing through his body increased. He let out a cry of pain, raw hurt scratching up his throat. He scrabbled at the flooring below him, digging his nails into the panelling. “St-stop.”

He didn’t even know if he had said those words out loud.

“Stop, Master Takemikazuchi. He has learned his lesson.”

Suddenly, the electricity stopped, and Kiun groaned out in relief. He rolled over, his chest moving rapidly, losing the battle to not show the council that they had affected him.

“Good boy.” The head elder stepped forwards and patted Take’s head lovingly. “We will leave you to this mess.”

Take’s stomach rolled in revulsion, but nodded nonetheless. The elders turned on their heels and stalked away, laughter being passed around the group like celebratory saké.

As soon as they were gone, Take glanced down at the shinki, his eyes prickling with tears.

“Master,” Kiun’s voice came out airy and light, “Thank you.”

Take choked on his tears, letting them fall and land on the broken shinki in front of him.

“I really am a bad god, aren’t I?”

Kiun raised a shaky hand to wipe away the tears from his master’s face. “I never thought that nor will I ever think that.”

Kiun’s hand fell down as his eyes slowly shut, the pain and exhaustion becoming too much for him. Take backed away from the exhausted body before turning on his heels and running straight into his room.

Never again, never again. Never again will I try to use my lightning.

[blessedburial]

The Missing Screw

okay so I was kinda in a writing mood but I also had writer’s block (rip) so I quickly hashed out this little scene for a warm-up. this is how I imagined the scene of Winry finally telling Ed about that missing screw a couple of years later. hope you guys enjoy :) (this is not beta-ed as well so be warned for some errors)

“Hey Ed, can I tell you something?” Winry asked once the lights were out and they were settled in their bed. She had always found it easier to share their secrets and nightmares in the comfort of the pressing darkness and soft wind blowing in through the open window.

His chest rumbled against her ear as he hummed a response, “Ehm”.

She took in a short breath, psyching herself up for what was to follow. “So, you remember the Fifth Laboratory?”

Ed winced from the memory of the pitiful and painful smackdown he faced in that hellhole. “Yeah,” he laughed dryly, the nightmares from that incident still too fresh in his mind for comfort. “How could I forget? That was right after you fixed up my arm only for me to break it a day later. Man, I thought you were going to kill me.”

“Well about that,” Winry muttered, her eyes squeezing shut as she fumbled with the hem of her shirt.  "That incident, I-“ She suddenly paused when she felt light fingers start to play with her hair, running through the golden strands.

"Win,” he muttered softly, his mind on high alert from the unevenness in her voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, I- um, kinda forgot to replace one screw in your shoulder when you returned to Resembool to get it repaired. That's… that’s how your arm broke.”  

Ed’s hand froze, his fingers still entangled in her hair.

“Ed, I’m so so sorry, you have no idea how guilty I felt! I had done three all-nighters to fix your arm and I must have dropped the screw on the floor or lost it on the table! And on top of that, just to find out that you were hospitalized from my machine! God, I was so scared that-”

She sat up, and clutched at her shirt, the air suddenly too thick to breath properly.  "You could have died! You were in a fight, an all-out brawl with someone who could have killed you without a second thought! And… and I would have had to live with that! I- I wouldn’t have been able to live with that! It’s all my fault. It was my failure of mechanics that caused you to get that hurt! You were in pain and it was all my-“

She was interrupted by soft chuckle that quickly turned into deep-chested laughter, the kind of sound that made Winry’s heart flutter with happiness. The kind of sound that was making a more common occurrence in their lives since Promise Day. Ed sat up, grasping at his side as the laughter continued to rack his body.

“Oh Winry.” He paused to stare at the love of his life who was too busy casting her face downwards in shame to notice the way he was looking at her. His eyes showed nothing but love for the amazing girl that he got to call his wife, however; she was too lost in her own mind to see the light in his eyes that was only ever directed towards her.  “How long have you been carrying that around?”

It was Winry’s turn to wince. “Ah, well since that day…”

“You silly automail freak.” He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to hide his amusement.

Winry let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in and turned to face her husband. “You’re not mad?”

Ed leaned back against his pillow. “Win,” Ed sighed, “How could I ever be mad at you when you gave me my life back?”

A shadow of a grin ghosted on his face, making him look younger, more boyish. “So what if you accidently forgot one screw! It was one screw! One screw in the hundreds of screws that you used to create a new future for me, a future that I would not have been able to have without your help. How could I ever be mad at you for one screw?”

“But, but you could have died!”

“Win, come here.” Ed gathered up the shaking girl and pulled her into his chest. “Honestly, that missing screw saved my life.”

Ed felt Winry tense up underneath his embrace but continued on, “I mean, you know me! I was going to kill myself in that fight. I was already hurt before the arm malfunctioned and even then, when it did break, I couldn’t fight anymore because of it. Whether or not Lust and Envy wanted to keep me for a sacrifice, if I had attacked them, it wouldn’t have turned out pretty for me. That one missing screw stopped me from jumping rashly into a new fight with blood still pouring from my side.”

“You stupid alchemist freak who thinks you can do anything.” Winry sniffled, suddenly aware of the tears that were falling down her face.

“Correction.” Ed gently pushed Winry off of his chest and wiped the tears away from her face. “I was a stupid alchemist freak who thought I could do anything. You taught me pretty quickly that I can’t actually do everything despite my stubbornness.”

“I-” Winry was cut off when she felt soft lips press against her forehead.

“Sleep, Win. We have to pick up Al from the train station tomorrow and you know that Ben will be ready to see his uncle at the crack of dawn.” Ed pulled her against his chest as he lowered himself back down to the bed.

Winry sighed, the coiled tension leaving her body as lazy fingers painted patterns on her back. The rhythmic breathing of Ed beneath her head soon lulled her to sleep and his light snores followed Winry into her dreams.

He was safe. She was safe. All was right in the universe, and nothing would ever threaten that balance again.