Alyut felt tears pricking in his eyes as he watched what was happening- There was that brief, brief hope that there would be someone saving him.
(but why would anyone saved him? He threw them away for the gods)
(even that pain on his neck…)
(his failed attempt…)
He was thrown back to the present when there was a light nudge from the angel. He knew better than to ever turn away the god’s order-
(it was a mistake he would never make twice)
The gods didn’t need any permission
(THISBODYNOLONGERHISOWNANYWAY)
The way with the gods were different than with the humans. But the end result was the same. Although instead of his body, his mind felt ravaged, like someone combing through his head (memories?) and destroying them-
They showed him a person- the red eyed lancer-
(He kept the memories of one red eyes lancer close)
(He didn’t want to lose him-)
(Even if he didn’t remember the name anymore)
He was in pain but he held onto the image, he kept it close, close to him.
He knew there were other things he had forgotten-
The armored person they showed next…
That one hurt his head even more, making him cry out.
(Armorsomeonewithfullarmorwhatishisface--?)
(That was the key)
(But who was it…? Nofacetoremember)
The touch came again, Alyut (isheAlyut?) had lost his voice from all the screaming, throat ended up raw and in pain as he tried to withstood all the pain, body jerking occasionally.
“You were so… promising…”
“Why must you betray us?”
“We had to end up with this crude ways…”
“A little punishment for the youngling that dares to become a traitor…”
The voices were pressing into him, so, so loud and he shuddered and closed his eyes, the touch coming just as the voices started to get louder.
When the touch came, when it was instead a physical touch-
(There was a sharp tug-
“Your hair is so lovely, it’s a shame to cut it… but there’s no choice, no choice anymore~”)
He screamed, or he tried to. But he couldn’t and the touch was everywhere- It was pain. It was pleasure. It was both and it was sending his mind reeling and all he wanted was to lay there and let himself draw back from it all but-
The pleasure drew him away from the isolation.
Pain he could block- The pleasure though, it was such… a rare thing to be felt. That he couldn’t help it, he gasped, he begged even as his throat punished him for his words, the pain from the throat raking his brain.
It wasn’t that bad though, not as bad as what the gods did (they-theyonlydidwhattheyneedtodo, didn’tthey?). What the gods did- It was full of pain, raking through his mind like hot coals touching his body.
This half pleasure/pain that came from the touch were too much, he couldn’t think much even as the gods whispered at him, words that he believed to be true…
what I believe-
what the gods believe…
He gasped at the end of it, delirious from it all and losing consciousness from everything, overwhelmed and tired.
When he awoke, the cycle continued.
Pain/pleasure both filled him, emptying him out and filled him again-
It was never ending. And all he could do was sob and bear it, letting it happen.
The images came too, and the pain/pleasure swept them away-
The memories he so desperately held… It all washed away.
And so, the pain/pleasure held him tight, making him wonder if it could stop...
There were times where the bite was stronger, either the pain, or the pleasure; It was a welcome respite.
It broke through the haze of whatever that fell into his mind as the pain/pleasure continued to be done to him, the touch, the caress-
And then the hit, the torture--
He couldn’t help it, he screamed, and screamed, his throat becoming raw with all the screams once again.
It was a cycle he couldn’t escape, and he knew something-
(he had been violatedviolated-)
(there’s nO eSCaPe)
(No ReSCuE)
(no hope…)
Again and again, he had lost consciousness, and when he was back again--
It was back to the same cycle, to something that he couldn’t stand, that made his brain shut down-
his mind shutting away-
Then there’s pictures again-
Red eyed lancer.
Fully armored someone.
Who are they--? Are they something dear to him--?
He didn’t know anymore.
What is he--?
Who is he…?
“Breaking and piecing a mortal together again…”
“It’s such an interesting prospect.”
“I can’t deny iiit.”
“So be good and obedient, unless you want me to break you further.”
There was whisper, rational whisper, not something that went into his mind and started bending it, breaking it, pushing it-
“First and foremost… what is your name?”
It was an order, someone was touching, caressing his cheeks, and all he felt was cold radiating from the touch. “I- I... “ He tried to think even if doing it turned his mind sluggishly, like a half dead hamster running on the wheels. But in the end, he had to accept it. “I… I don’t know who I am.” He whispered, his throat, while still scratchy felt better now.
What happened that caused it though…? He- he wasn’t sure. But he felt a certainty he didn’t want to remember it. He didn’t want to try digging into memories.
memories that was hidden...
“... I suppose a name is in order…”
“What to name you though?”
“Ah… I think… Narza. That sounds like a good name, no? Alright, you’ll bear this from now on. That shall be your name, and how you shall be identified, understood?”
Slowly, he nodded, the name… wasn’t that bad. It was easy to just nod and accept what the other said anyway.
“Hm, hm… what do you remember of this person?” The god said, pulling out an image of a guy with long, black hair and piercing red eyes.
Shudders wracked him, it felt like he should remember. That this person was important (needTRUSTbeliefloyal), he wanted to scream but all he did was backing away, he felt like his mind slowly went to disarray-
The image was poofed out. “Hm… still a very strong reaction. Very, very interesting. How about this one though?”
Another image was pulled out and this time- He could glimpse a very familiar armor- That face-
Nar-Al- screamed, his mind, it all hurts.
hurtPAIN
He screamed, even as the gods’ touch turned the pain to pleasure, but that was terrible because now he’s back to that cycle again-
whywhywhywhy
“Ah… relapse… Another long work ahead of me. I need to uncover why though..”
Pain…?
or is it pleasure…?
He didn’t know anymore.
It all was just a cycle, part of the cycle that he would go through-
The images?
They too, were part of the cycle. Nothing more, nothing less.
They held no significance.
None.
This time when he woke up, he felt… different.
Like an empty slate waiting for something to be inputted. He was impassive until a god appeared.
“Ah, you are awake… that’s good.”
“Should be good now to see their images but I’m told to not test it again, aaah, the other gods are no fun. But at least your reaction has always been fun, my mortal.” The eyes gleamed as the god stepped closer.
The other continued speaking, the words were slow even as his hand caressed him, and a kiss pressed to his lips.
The words, the sentences… They all slowly soothed his mind, soothing the pain that was still there for a bit. The pain was gone, his mind soothed and reordered...
