Thinking about sadistic yan!doctor who once hated you now turned into a regretful yandere with a partner in crime reader.
TW: ANIMAL ABUSE, BULLYING, NSFW, ANGST
Growing up, he was born without any emotions. He didn't see the point of empathy growing up. He didn't see the appeal of any emotions, but seeing his classmates have friends and laughing, it made him a tad bit envious. The correct word that would describe what he was feeling would be emptiness. It felt like there was a hollow hole inside of his heart, and he didn't know how to fix it.
There was a day when he was a kid where he questioned his mother why he didn't feel like the other kids. His classmates would always tease him about how much of a weirdo he is for not even having any emotions. He was always in a neutral one, except for the fact that his eyes are so terribly hollow.
"The other kids would always tell me that my eyes look scary," he asked his mother while she was slicing vegetables for dinner. "Is there any ways to make it not scary?" He was asking because he didn't understand.
He would sometimes look in the mirror to see what was so scary about his eyes. All he saw was his amethyst eyes staring back at him. He really didn't see anything scary with them.
His mother would only smile at him, "Oh, lovebug, don't mind them!" She giggled softly, "You may not understand now but soon, you'll meet someone and everything will click into place."
He tilts his head in confusion, "Why would one person make me understand-?" His question was cut short when he heard the door open. He didn't need to see who it was to know, his mother immediately dropped everything she was doing to run over to hug his father.
He didn't understand. Why would his mother suddenly ignore everything to go to his father? Is that what love is? The thought made him even more confused.
At school, the bullying grew worse. It didn't help the fact that he really didn't do anything about it. Not when the other teachers were creeped out about him too. When he would tattle that his notebooks got thrown into water, his bullies would just get a scolding and get away with it.
He didn't want to bother his parents too. He saw how much they fought nowadays. They would only fight whenever he was out of sight so he didn't hear all of it but he knows that it was about him. Even then, he still felt nothing.
His father would buy him anything he ever wanted, but did he really want it? He didn't find a new gaming set or drawing materials flattering. He saw how much more his father frowned when he didn't react so he tried to smile. To his surprise, his father sighed in relief and happiness.
As the years grow by, he started to change himself to fit in more, even though he didn't understand. He memorized social cues when to laugh, cry, get scared or be disgusted. He was so good at pretending that he even fooled all the people he met.
He would get tired of the same old, your smile lights up the whole room quote. Actually, he gets super annoyed by it. He made a realization that the only emotions that he feels over time are negative. Anger, hatred and irritation are the most prominent emotions he would feel.
As a teenager, he didn't know how to let it out. Not until he saw how people would sometimes crush ants or put salt on snails just to see their bodies squish or squirm. Out of everything he observed from people in society, this was one of the things he understands. To vent anger, you need an outlet to let the said anger out.
From that moment on, his victims would circulate around bugs, insects until they became stray kittens or puppies. He just wanted to understand how it was to feel. Torturing these animals helped something stir inside of him. He didn't know what it was but just feeling something felt... great! He soon became addicted to that feeling, he would always want to chase it.
The things he would do them are to say... immoral dissection. He would soon become curious about what was in their bodies and such. His curiosity was just unmatched at times. Everytime he saw blood oozing out of their bodies made him feel ecstatic, even more so whenever they whimpered in pain. He would only have an eerie smile as he cuts away with a dull scissor.
When he was in a camp with his 'friends', they were all gathered around the fire when the topic of careers came up. Everyone said the typical police, fireman, businesswoman, doctor-
"I think being a doctor is gonna suit you a lot, Lucian," one of his 'friend' told him. She was getting a tad bit close to him, but he didn't care enough to tell her to back off. If anything, he encouraged her bold moves.
He knew that this was a signal for flirting so he sent a flirty smirk back at her, "Yeah? Want to become my assistant?" He could see how much she blushed as the others teased the two of them.
The topic soon became that of truth and dare, granted that the counselors were snoring away in their cabins. As they were chatting, he couldn't get rid of what she said. A doctor huh? His eyes widened at the thought. Maybe he could delve deeper into the body and wow! He was getting excited already!
When he told his parents of what he wanted to be, they were all hit worried. After all, he had such a huge smile! How could they say no to their little boy like that? They already know that he was smart enough to be one anyways, it didn't matter what he wanted to be. He could tell them that he wanted to be a parasite and they would've happily accepted it.
Medical school was a breeze for him, only for him though. He still kept up with his flirty persona as it was the most useful one he had. It helped the fact that his good looks upped his charms.
He became more obsessed with anatomy in medical school. Not to mention that he got into one of the most prestigious medical colleges in the country! Well, he really didn't care for it that much, all he wanted was the facilities and equipments it had rather than its prestige.
Graduating was even more easier. He didn't even know he became that much influential while studying, his professors told him that it was because he never slept when they were teaching. That confused him because how can he sleep if he was brimming with excitement at the thought of hands on dissection?
He got offers and he just picked one that can get him to deal with patients as soon as possible. Not because he wanted to help them, silly, no! He wanted to be a surgeon just so he can see inside of their bodies of course! He really didn't care if the patient was properly treated, as long as it can satiate his hunger for blood then it's all fine!
The more people he experimented with, the more sadistic his ways got to be. He doesn't kidnap children just cause they're annoying as fuck and more so in elderly because they're already in the brink of death.
Many love him, whether he was an actually a good doctor or of his good looks, it was the same to him either way.
Although he did get bolder with his victims. Now, he would sometimes kidnap random people and just torture them in his basement. Mind you, his basement is very large, he just had to choose a large home to fit a family of five.
Many joked that he wanted a family that big, but he would expertly hide his confused expression as he answered them fluidly in his usual flirty manner.
He still thinks about what his mother told him as a child. As usual, he doesn't understand. Eh, whatever, he's having the time of his life right now. He doesn't have time to understand her.
You never really meant to meet him, especially not when he was in the middle of actively killing someone in the bathroom with all kinds of needles in a motel in the middle of nowhere. You thought that it was your room! To be fair on your part, 209 looks so much like 208 in the dark without your glasses.
You two stared at each other, almost comedic in a way. You made the fatal mistake of looking down and seeing the gory body- hyuck!
You clamped your mouth shut as you gagged loudly, looking at him with wide eyes. You nervously started to laugh, "Oh, hi! Nice seeing you here haha..."
You look around for a way to escape. Right, he was in the bathroom and you were outside. Statistically speaking, you were in an advantageous position!
He was still frozen in thought and you took advantage of it. You saw him gain consciousness the moment you closed the bathroom door just to slow him down.
You clutched your bags as you made a run for you life, albeit almost pathetically because you don't exercise much. He was much stronger and faster than you, opening the door and pinning you in the ground in one fluid motion. Your bags flew out of your arms when he pinned you down.
Honestly, you didn't mind if he killed you right now. How could you when a handsome platinum blonde man staring at you intensely, scrutinizing your features. He had his hands pin to your arms and that was more than what a romantic partner has ever touched you. Well, not like you ever had one.
You started to blush under his intense gaze, not used to being seen so much. Unbeknownst to you, Lucian was really conflicted. He would've killed you for being a witness by now but... something in him just didn't want to.
It annoyed him a bit but an idea came to mind.
You saw him, eyes bow full of fascination. "You don't wanna die, right?" He gushed it like there wasn't a dead body just a few inches away.
You managed to held eye contact with him, "I mean, if you're offering..?" There wasn't really any response that made sense to you at the moment.
He beamed happily, seeming not to care for your response anyways. "Alright! How about you clean up? Do good enough and I won't kill you. Promise, scouts honor." He winked, and holy shit did that made your heart beat faster.
Although what he said made you think, "Help you clean?" Sure, you can die for a charming man but you can't get jailed for aiding and abetting! Augh, jail time is the worst!
You wanted to refuse but he got much closer to your face. Mind you, he was still pinning you down. You got lost in his eyes, they were in such a deep amethyst color that just holding eye contact got you mesmerized.
You nodded absentmindedly, and at that, he lets you go slowly. He stood up and locked the door, winking at you in the process. "Time to clean up, yeah?"
You don't know why you accepted being his janitor for free in this economy, and you didn't really had the energy to get scared. Hours trickled by, he would occasionally help you out if he sees you struggling but other than that, he leaves you alone to stare at you.
As you were calmly scrubbing the floor, he was studying your every move. He doesn't know why but your every move captivates him. Even the slight swaying of your hair got his breath to hitch.
As a medical doctor, he calmed himself to assess his current condition. His eyes widened while looking at you, don't tell him that you're the person his mom is talking about!
There's just no way. If you really were then why did you come now? Why is it that it took you years to come into his life?
His mood suddenly dampened and all he wanted at the moment was to strangle the hell out of you. But when you looked at him with those eyes, he can't get enough. It was annoying him by the second.
You could start to feel him start to glare at you, for whatever reason? You don't know. You just did what he wanted, right?
From that moment on, he never lets you out of his sights. Not that you mind, you recently ran away from your abusive family.
His home became your home too. His behavior also changed, sometimes he'd be flirty but avoidant the next. Seriously, what did you get to get caught up with him?
Since then, you two are in this weird relationship. If you can even call it that. You aren't too sure, but you'd like to think that you are, no?
You would clean his clothes and cook him food. Sometimes, you would even pack him lunch! And other times you clean up his messes. You didn't mind much since he would praise you for a job well done.
Except for the times you would lie to the police if he sloppily kidnap a person, you didn't care. Because it was the first you ever experienced someone care for you.
There was one night where you woke up to strange noises in one of his room. You thought that Lucian was gutting someone he kidnapped again but when you got closer, the noises the person made wasn't that of pain but... pleasure?
"Ngh- slow down Luci... ah!" You heard the woman moan. She was tied down in tight nit ropes as Lucian pounded into her.
She was on her knees, hands tied to her back as she had a blindfold to cover her eyes. You couldn't see on how Lucian reacted to her but he kept pushing her head down to the pillows, silencing her.
You stood there frozen. You thought that what you had with Lucian was special. But you should've known that what you two had was anything but.
You cautiously took a step back, not wanting to ruin his 'good' time. You decided then and there that you should leave. You should've months ago but you thought...
You tried to silence your cries, which isn't that hard to do since you were used to it anyways.
The next morning came and the woman who Lucian spent a night with was now crying in pain in his basement. He walked out of his room expecting you to cook breakfast. You always do it when he didn't even ask for it.
But you weren't there. Weird, he thought that you heard the noises last night. The woman he picked up was so loud he should've just gagged her mouth with duct tape.
He didn't question anything that even after his shift ended at the hospital, you weren't there to greet him. He decided to check the room he gave you and unsurprisingly, you weren't there.
He would be lying if he said that your lack of presence bothered him.
He tried to get over you but now, he just feels... empty?
He was laying on his bed when he realized that you came lat into his life because he was undeserving of you first! The feeling of emptiness would be gone whenever you were there and now that you're gone, the feeling of emptiness creeped into him.
He didn't like it. His heart was aching. He should've heed his mother's words.
He sat up straight, changing his clothes quickly, he should find you. Now.
Lucian didn't know what happened next, he searched all around the neighborhood to no avail. Next, he started to go around town in the middle of the night.
You were just at a random park. You didn't have anymore money to go to a taxi and you were spending some time making the abandoned park your new home.
You were making a fort under the slide when the blanket that acted like your door was yanked open. The person who pulled it was an old man, definitely homeless by the way his clothes was worn out and he smelled utterly atrocious.
He was yelling out gibberish as he was pulling on your arm. "Get off of me, you crackhead!" Oh, he was definitely a crackhead. His eyes were blown out wide.
He pulled you with so much force that he was now dragging you. You cursed loudly, trying to get away from his undying hold.
You started to hyperventilate when someone punched the guy.
It was... "Lucian?" You questioned him, why was he here? Shouldn't he be in his own place? Why was he miles away?
You could've wanted to talk to him if it weren't for the fact that he was punching the old man over, and over, and over again that his fave started to get unrecognizable.
You sat still in the concrete ground as he stopped and looked at you.
His pupils blown under the city lights, his amethyst irises now becoming red as be smiled, "Hey baby! Where were you?"
You wanted to crawl away but couldn't. You hissed a bit when your hands scrapped the concrete floor too much.
You could see his eyes widen in... worry? "What are you..?"
He immediately went to your side in a hurry, looking over the hand that made you hurt. You suddenly felt your hand getting wet, you look up to see if it started raining but it wasn't.
You didn't get it, not until you heard Lucian whimper. He's crying..?
You didn't know what to say or do to comfort him. You didn't even know the feeling of getting comforted!
He looked at you with such fervor that it sent shivers down your spine. "I-I'm so sorry [Name], I'm so sorry!" He shook his head, "I thought that you were just anyone else.."
You raised your hand up to his face, in which he willingly nuzzled with it in delight.
Is it wrong to say that seeing him cry made you a bit horny?
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A/N: helloooo, new yan is here!! Took him a looooong time to come out since ive been working on another post but scrapped the idea altogether. This is an introduction post so there's gonna be no part 2! But scenarios and asks are welcomed!!
And mass comments and reblogs are welcomed in my posts so dont be afraid to tell ypur opinion!! 💕
