After finally landing a decent job, you thought you'd have a smooth-sailing office life at the JYPublishers Co.—thinking that it'll be full of intellectual and high-class people. But what you didn't expect is that the bizareness of your co-workers is something that could be a story of their own. Or alternatively, welcome to the epic highs and lows of the JYP Publishing Company.
pairing: office workers!skz x y/n
genre: crack, fluff, angst, corporate life. highkey inspired by The Office™️ and also the SKZ-Office episodes
warnings: not much, aside from typical struggling adult life stuff
note: does not actually have any ties to my other smau, ehaloj.
EPISODES
TEASER 1 [HR REVIEW]
TEASER 2 [BREAKROOM FILES]
S01 E01 • PILOT
[soon]
[mm/dd/yy]
date started: —
date finished: —
because i don't have enough smaus going on rn right
word count: 3k (probably the most fun i've had in writing something, esp. a prologue, in a while).
“jypublishing, this is shuhua. how can i help you?” the greeting tone of the receptionist’s voice dripped with chirpiness. one that makes you think she’s actually being friendly—but that wasn't the case.
because she’s standing in front of you with a dead look on her face while holding a finger up, telling you to wait for a second as she answers the call. “yes, ma’am, mr. lee minho is back from the road.”
you see her lips twitch in annoyance, so you just decided to wander your eyes around the lobby while waiting.
“ma’am, i’m just a receptionist, if you have any other concerns, please follow proper procedure. i can schedule you an appointment with—”
you try to tune her growing irate voice out, gazing at the beautiful building with extreme awe. because jyp is a new company, their interior design greatly reflects the current standards of modern architecture.
“no, ma’am, you can’t specifically request—ma’am no, that’s not how this works. this is the jyp publishing company not jyp choose-your-own–agent company.”
the white walls are accented with light oak, and glass panels decor the walls alongside framed art pieces that probably cost more than your yearly rent.
greenery is littered around the place, giving the building a much needed spark of color and life with the soft lighting.
“ok whatever you say ma’am,” you hear shuhua last say before she clicks her tongue and drops the call.
you see her roll her eyes as she mutters, “crazy bitch,” not even trying to make her disdain subtle. she looks down on her receptionist desk for a second before grabbing something.
soon enough, she turns back to you and hands you your ID card. “welcome to jyp something something, enjoy the glamour while it lasts and try not to strangle yourself after a week. enjoy.” shuhua says monotonically and waves you off.
but you don’t let her pessimism get to you. muttering a quick thank you, you bow your head before going further into the building. although you’d want to look around more, you have a scheduled meeting with your department head and can’t afford to get late.
despite being in a publishing house, you weren’t here because you’re a writer—no, no, you’re a part of the human resources department. but you sure as hell loved to read.
this isn’t your dream job per se, but out of all the jobs you could’ve gotten, this was definitely the best. jypublishers has some of the bestselling authors under their name, all to the point that if you get published under them, you’re bound to stardom (whether good or bad), and it definitely wouldn’t hurt to see some of your favorite authors in person.
despite being new to the biz, they somehow managed to rise up to fame in a respectable way, thanks to the way they quality check the works under their name.
in the span of seven years, the small company has managed to expand—but not on a full-on scale, as you certainly still feel the humble beginnings of the publishing house.
but of course, they’re not some huge identity like the new york times already—they’re just known for their own niche. even with their successes, the company isn’t invulnerable from failures, or as the general public calls it: flops. but they’ve proven themselves enough to be worthy of proper acknowledgement.
when you get to the elevator, you see the janitor who gives you a polite nod which you return. in the other corner there’s two men in proper office attire busy in their own conversation—not even giving you a second glance. still, you can’t help but feel small beside them (even metaphorically) as they carry themselves with a sense of belonging.
although you don’t mean to, you can’t help but overhear their conversation. “you better watch out for hwang today, jeongin, that man came here looking like he wants to raise hell.” a long-haired guy says with a joking tone.
the other man, jeongin, just snorts out a dry laugh, “gee, good thing i’m in a different department. besides, if he pisses me off again, i’d hold his payroll for another week like last time.”
the other guy almost chokes on his coffee at jeongin’s snarky comment, still, their conversation continues. “lmao please, not you taking advantage of your position again. besides, i heard he’s extra angry because his girlfriend broke up with him or something.”
the comment made jeongin smirk, “big oof, but can’t say i’m surprised. he’s shit at relationships.”
“with a face like his, you’d think he’d be unfazed.”
jeongin laughs out loud again, “HAH no, beomgyu, hwang is the biggest drama queen there is. i bet he’s just mad that the girl broke up with him and not the other way around.”
beomgyu laughs at jeongin’s comment before the janitor signals his floor and he taps jeongin’s shoulder in goodbye, “catch you later, idiot.”
so, now, you’re left in awkward silence with jeongin who still doesn’t give you a single glance and opts to just start tapping away on his phone.
after jeongin gets off the elevator, the janitor follows—it was then that you realize that you’re 3 floors above your department and you forgot to press your own button. just as you were about to, you hear someone shout, “please hold the door!!”
aggressive clacking of heels draws near before a lady hops inside with you, catching her breath after running across the hallway. “whew! almost didn’t make it, that would’ve been bad luck.”
she smiles at you, a friendly one that reaches her kitty-like eyes. you can’t help but return the kind gesture. like every other person you’ve encountered so far, she’s also dressed neatly—but her personality shines in the colorful, child-like clips that adorn her long hair, contrasting the drab office attire.
“bad luck?” you ask as you press the button to your floor, and she nods.
“yeah, you know, when you chase after something and don’t catch up to it then you’re bound for misery!” she explains with a cheery tone despite the weirdly depressing superstition (that you’ve never heard of before).
“i’m yeji, by the way!” she outstretches her hand, so you attempt to shake it—but she just slaps it for a sideways high-five.
“uhh, i’m y/n, i’m new—i’m going to be working for HR.” you say, wondering if she’s in the same department as you.
“oh!! welcome y/n! i hope you enjoy it here, it’s really fun. HR sucks but not everyone here is like the HR department,” she says with much enthusiastic genuinity that you wonder what it meant.
with no response, you just nod with a smile, “well, this is my floor. you?”
she smacks herself in the forehead, “i can’t believe i forgot to press the button again! it’s just so fun riding the elevator.”
you wave goodbye to her, which she reciprocates, before heading to your designated workspace. what a weird girl, you thought to yourself.
at least she was nice and full of life though, unlike the receptionist. still, you can’t help but heed yeji’s warnings about HR.
as you assemble your files on your desk, a small knock on your cubicle startles you, “y/ln, y/n?” a gruffy dead voice asks behind you.
immediately, you turn around to face him—immediately recognizing him as your department’s head, “mr. kang.. taehyun?”
he nods before lazily grabbing a chair to sit beside you. “great, let’s get this whole orientation thing over with, shall we?”
“sure, sir,” you nod and listen intently. the first few parts were just normal protocol stuff—something you’ve heard before, so it didn’t take you long to get the gist of it.
however, weird details are definitely added into the mix, “so, the company’s secretary is a really weird guy so don’t take his words to heart. preferably, just tune him out—or maybe don’t even entertain whatever he says.”
you nod reluctantly, trying to keep a mental note of the sudden shift in content.
“the editor-in-chief is a literal child but the higher-ups treat him like some genius so it’s a pain to deal with him. probably above your pay grade so if a conflict arises with him, just pass it on to a superior that is preferably not me.”
a literal child? like.. a child? or someone who acts childish? you couldn’t bring yourself to ask so you just take his words for it.
“lastly, there’s a shit ton of conflict between departments which is a pain to deal with, so as long as it’s nothing too damaging, i just tend to ignore it.” with that, taehyun arranges his papers before dragging himself back to his office with a sigh. it felt awfully informal but you didn’t bother speaking up—you knew that office politics were different for each company and it would take a while to get used to.
for now, you were at least semi-grateful that you’re given a sort of warning. before you could start going through your new files, your desk landline rings.
“ms. y/ln y/n? this is kim seungmin from the president’s office. mr. president would like to see you in his office pronto.” you hear over the phone.
before you could ask where the president’s office was, he immediately cuts you off with an awkward laugh, “was that cool? did i sound cool? this is normally shuhua’s job but i get to do it for the president’s matters.”
“you sound.. normal?” you answer.
“goddammit. should i try again?” he asks.
“no, i think i got it. may i know where his office is?” you ask before he could say anything more bizarre.
“on the peak of the summit, the man awaits behind double doors.” seungmin answers, and you had to stifle a sigh.
once more, he asks right away, “what about that, does that sound cool?”
you take a deep breath, willing yourself to be polite, “yes, but also i’m not sure what you mean.”
“tsk, newbies,” he grumbles, “it’s on the topmost floor, just go straight and it’s the first set of double doors.”
“noted, thank you!” you try to answer with a forced chirpy tone but he just says “kk” before dropping the call.
right away, you tell taehyun that you’re being called upstairs, but he just waves you off. once again, you find yourself entering the elevator, coming across a bulky man struggling to hold 5 coffee cups at once. although there's someone else in the elevator with him, he can't seem to be bothered to help the poor guy—nor does he even seem to be awake as he leans on the corner of the elevator with closed eyes. so, you take matters into your own hands.
“do you need help?” you ask nicely, taking two from his arms that’re threatening to spill all over the floor.
“oh thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” he thanks you with a heavy accent before bowing politely.
“do you want those? i’m only supposed to get two but i kept messing up the orders so now i have three extras that i don’t need,” he hisses at the stupidity so you just give him a small smile.
“sure,” you forcibly accept despite wanting to reject the offer because you’ve already had a cup and you didn’t really want to over consume caffeine with an extra two cups.
“i’m chan, by the way. assistant editor-in-chief.”
you bow politely, realizing that he has a high position, which wasn’t really obvious given his modest and skittish demeanor, “ah, i’m y/n from HR, nice to meet you.”
suddenly, you hear the other guy cough, and mutters "assistant TO THE editor-in-chief," under his breath. but chan didn't seem to notice the comment—or at least, blissfully ignores it. though the action gets your attention, so when the guy closes his eyes again, you spare a glance at his nametag and read "choi soobin," though you couldn't see his position.
when chan gets to his floor, you exchange polite goodbyes before you arrive on your own, not minding soobin who seems to be back to napping while standing up. following seungmin’s directions, you come upon a set of double doors, but you see the man himself sitting comfortably on a nearby desk.
you see him leaning back on a plush chair with his legs propped on top of the desk, but you read the nameplate that says “lee taemin, secretary” which tells you that this definitely isn’t seungmin’s space.
“just go in, no need to knock since he’s expecting you anyways, and i think it’d be funny if you catch him off-guard, probably jack—jacketing. wearing a jacket, or something,” seungmin jokes, showing you a toothy grin as he prevents himself from saying something inappropriate.
“can i leave this here?” you ask, putting down the two cups of coffee on his desk. he shrugs before sitting upright in surprise in a split-second.
eyes trained on the coffee, “is this perhaps for me??” he asks with wide eyes and an agape expression that slowly turns into a smug one.
“the new girl is already making moves on the big guys huh? i see you,” he crosses his arms with a smirk (which he can’t really do properly so it just looks like a full-on smile), and you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.
“yes, you can have it, sir, but i’m not trying to make a move. i just got them from someone else,” you explain before knocking on the door, not wanting to indulge seungmin and his weird conversations any longer, you even hear him mutter a small “ouch” at your coldness.
when you get inside, you immediately greet the president politely, who urges you to have a seat in front of him. “i’m sure you already know me, i’m suh young-ho but that’s a bit too formal for my taste so just call me johnny,” he leans back on his chair, pointing towards a stephen king poster that says “here’s johnny”
you just nod politely, not knowing whether he’s joking with his dry tone or not. nonetheless, you just let him speak.
“so, i’m not sure if you’ve heard but there’s been quite a lot of changes in the company recently. i’ve only been the head for like—almost a year, barely, so you could say that i’m trying to get my leadership footing.”
you nod along but not really sure how you—a mere human resources employee—would be relevant to someone like him.
“so, anyways. i called you up here because i needed someone new and fresh and unbiased. most of the people here have already been working for quite a long time and they’ve survived the leadership shift—that being said…”
johnny leans on his elbows on the desk, suddenly turning serious. this makes you subconsciously sit upright, listening intently.
“i want you to be my spy and tell me whenever someone makes a comment about me,” he says with a dead serious face.
“excuse me?” you ask, dumbfounded, so johnny reiterates himself.
“look, i need to know, okay? how would i know if there are any holes in my leadership? i can’t improve if i don’t hear feedback and those QA surveys don’t do shit because nobody actually bothers to fill them out,” he starts ranting.
apparently, this opened a can of worms for johnny because he suddenly won’t stop.
“i can’t even trust my own P.A. because kim seungmin also worked for the previous boss and quite frankly, he’s an airhead. my secretary is always M.I.A., our literary agents act like they’re higher than me, our receptionist doesn’t even greet me anymore, then to top it all off, my editors-in-chief don’t even value my input! infuriating, seriously!”
you honestly don’t know what to say. is this some kind of test?
“anyways, with that out of the way, i want you to report back to me with any sort of findings. here, we’ll even have burner phones.” he hands you an old nokia, which you reluctantly accept.
“i don’t think this is part of the job description..” you comment but johnny just shrugs.
“well now it is, or else you’re fired. nice meeting you, y/n, i hope you get settled nicely in the company and get those juicy gossip for me.” he dismisses you so you just stand and awkwardly bow before leaving.
outside, you don’t see seungmin anymore (thankfully so) nor the cups of coffee. but you still dread riding the elevator, realizing that it’s such a drag to encounter other employees with such…. vivid personalities.
thankfully, the universe heard your prayers and you see nobody inside the elevator—but it makes sense, given the fact that you’re coming from the top floor and not a lot of people have business with the president.
when you get back to your desk, you see a new folder placed on your desk, one marked with “complaint” in big, bold, red letters. you look over at taehyun but he’s busy, so you just open the file, noticing that it’s coming from the marketing and advertising department.
there, you read:
“han jisung is being a big poopy bastard and is looking down on my job. not my fault that he’s jealous that i get to make tiktoks for a living. anyways, taehyun told me this isn’t grounds for complaint unless he actually does something mean, and today i finally caught him deleting one of my drafts.
that is destruction of private company property (i think) and sabotage of work. MY GENIUS WORK. please apprehend this barbaric man immediately and send him to the po-po. thanks, felix from social media marketing <3.”
you sigh, realizing that this job is going to be a tough one.
set before y/n joined JYPublishers, this 3-part short anthology follows our ragtag group of employees and the shenanigans that happen during their lunch breaks.
word count: 1.2k
-> DIRECTORY
#1 | PRANKS
“haha, really funny, guys,” chan walks inside the breakroom, carrying his folders with him. however, he shows his co-workers that when he tries to open the folders, it’s glued together.
“come on, who did this,” chan laughs as he asks around, his eyes still smiling but one could tell that he’s steadily growing irate.
“wait, what if it’s just shy and if everyone looks away, it’ll open,” yeji says softly, almost like a whisper, but her face is dead serious. still, it was enough for everybody else to hear—but they’re all used to her oddity and don't even give it a second thought anymore.
on the other hand, seungmin is visibly trying to suppress his laughter, alongside yeonjun. but their shoulders are slightly shaking.
right away, hyunjin glares at them, realizing that they’re the perpetrators.
because of course they are.
it’s always them.
“it’s funny hahaha, you got me. but come on, i have a meeting at three so i need the files..” chan’s voice grows weary by the second, pleading for help.
so, lino speaks up, “it’s okay chan, let’s just try prying it open, i’m sure nobody’s gonna bother admitting to the prank,” the gentleman takes chan’s folders and tries to open it.
“careful careful, those are important—” chan panics a bit, but the warning was too late, because lino forgot his own strength and accidentally ripped the papers.
“i-i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to—” lino immediately apologizes in a panic, but chan’s smile has already dropped.
still, he tries to be civil with the nice man, “no it’s okay, mr. lee, it’s not your fault.”
however, chan can no longer control his anger, “it’s all because of these goddamn mOTHERFUCKING PRANKSTERS,” his voice rises.
but he immediately picked himself back up, “my apologies, i didn’t mean to raise my voice. i think i’m gonna go take a breather,” he excuses himself, accidentally breaking the door in his rage.
“you guys should really stop doing that,” lino looks at seungmin and yeonjun with a disappointed sigh.
but taehyun speaks up, “no, no, let them do it. soon, chan will snap them in half and they’ll regret their actions.”
“yeah lino, if the HR head isn’t even telling us off then that means it’s okay,” yeonjun debates with a proud grin.
but hyunjin just looks at him with a judging stare, “don’t you guys have your own snooty breakroom, why are you even here.”
"it's snooty, that's why i'm here," yeonjun simply shrugs before leaning back on his chair.
#2 | PAYDAY
“so then, i told him, dude! that’s so crazy, we should hang out sometime, i have a jar of bloo—oh hey guys!” beomgyu stops to greet jisung and felix who walks in the breakroom, still bickering about their latest project. which was a huge plus for soobin because he definitely wasn’t listening at all, because he’s trying to fall asleep on the table.
meanwhile, jisung and felix doesn’t hear the greeting because of their argument.
“i keep telling you, you should animate the cartoon to do the renegade, it’s hip these days. the ad will have a higher chance of going viral if you do that,” felix tries to reason but jisung just rolls his eyes.
“animate your own shit, lee. i’m not gonna follow your cringey tiktok trends,” he rebuts.
shuhua just gives jisung a weird look, “don’t you have a tiktok account?”
“yeah but i use it to showcase my art, not dance like a douche with my shirt off,” jisung judges in disgusts, throwing a look at felix.
so, it was felix’s turn to roll his eyes, “please, you’re just jealous that i already have 34k followers while you only have 500, LOL.”
seeing that felix and jisung is stuck in their own world, beomgyu goes back to chattering with soobin and shuhua—both who couldn’t be bothered to listen.
suddenly, jeongin enters the breakroom, and silence ensues. everyone stops to look at jeongin but beomgyu, his friend, is the only one brave enough to greet him with a smile, “jeonginnie! hard at work?”
“yeah,” jeongin simply replies while he gets his coffee.
shuhua pretends not to look at him but she passes a glare at beomgyu, telling him to stop, “are you stupid? it’s payday week, we can’t afford pissing him off.” she harshly whispers at beomgyu who just rolls his eyes.
“ugh please, you’re all such babies. jeongin will never put my salary on hold.” he stands up to hang with jeongin but just as he does, jeongin turns around.
so, the cheery man accidentally bumps on jeongin’s coffee. thankfully, they were fast enough to evade the steaming liquid, but not fast enough to avoid getting stains on their clothes.
right away, jeongin glares at beomgyu, “i hope you like starving for a week.” he threatens before walking away.
“yah! yang jeongin! i have to pay for my online shopping please!!” beomgyu pleads as he follows jeongin outside.
“has anybody ever told him not to spend money before he even gets it,” jisung comments rhetorically, so nobody bothered to answer.
instead, shuhua speaks up, “well, can’t say i didn’t warn him.”
suddenly, they all hear a bang, turning to soobin whose face slammed down on the table as he snoozes.
#3 | PRESIDENT
“do you know why i called you two in here?” johnny says in a serious tone as he looks at his capable employees: lee taemin, his secretary, and choi minho, his senior agent.
“is this about one of our bigger authors?” minho asks but johnny shakes his head.
“is it about ghost that sits in the corner of your office and stares at you?” taemin asks with an eerie smile. johnny instinctively shakes his head before processing taemin’s words.
suddenly, he looks up at him, weirded and freaked out, “ghost? what ghost?” he asks while looking around.
taemin just shushes him, “shhh, you’re making her self-conscious,” he says with a soft voice.
“so what’s this about?” minho asks, re-routing the conversation.
so, johnny turns serious, leaning back on his chair, “i called you here because i need advice from my older employees. i value your insight and would appreciate the help.”
the two nod, waiting for johnny to continue.
“do you guys think…” johnny trails off, braving himself to ask.
“do you guys think i should join the other employees in the breakroom? or would it be weird for me to do that?” johnny asks, which makes minho look at him questioningly.
so, the chairman continues, “no, i know we have our own breakroom for the higher-ups and whatnot but i heard yeonjun prefers going down there with the others because it’s more fun—do you think they’re talking about me? will i ruin the mood if i go there?”
minho just sighs before collecting his things, “sorry sir, i have to meet with a client in a while, but i’m sure your capable secretary here can ease your concerns,” with a small smile, he hurries off the office.
so, johnny is left to consult with taemin who’s still just staring at him with an eerie smile.
“w-what do you think?” he asks again.
taemin just shrugs before standing up and leaving, “i think the ghost wouldn’t like it if you leave her here alone~” he says before closing johnny’s door, leaving him alone with his own thoughts.
txt are also one of my ults and i screamed when i saw they'd be part of the office smau!! can't wait to see what this one brings <33
~ 🌻anon
thank you!! i was scrambling to look for a cast that'll fill the roles well but i think i found the perfect ensemble (can't wait for y'all to meet the rest of the cast). it's definitely going to be 'the office'-like.
I came into the office this morning to see my DogeZangi perched atop my monitor apologetically. A fellow teacher with a mischievous streak used the desk next to me yesterday during a meeting and placed him up there. I think he'll stay there.
For those of you interested, the capsule vending machine I got DogeZangi from looks like this. The one I got it from has unfortunately already been switched out for something more mundane, like tiny hamsters in various cafe-themed foods.
