Feb 23, 2025
Darned if Dark Souls 2 didn't summarize American politics...
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Darned if Dark Souls 2 didn't summarize American politics...
Dungeon Meshi - Humans and Demi-Humans
When ogres travel, they do so in human shape.
They hate doing this. They think it’s beneath them. But they do it anyway.
The Vicomte Graoul de Saucisson – and this is another thing about ogres. Ogres as a species are nobility. There is no such thing as a low-born ogre. There is always room in the ogrish peerage for another vicomte, another prince, another branch to tie to the rotted tree – strode up to the chateau in human shape. The roses in the garden shivered as he passed by. The huge, high doors opened by themselves and he walked through them without a shift in his stride.
When the doors slammed shut behind him, he moved to shrug the shape off his shoulders like a coat.
Then he saw the woman.
He froze. He stared. She stared back.
He slowly pulled the shape back on. “Who are you?” he asked.
She looked mildly appalled. “Who are you?” she asked. “What are you doing in my home?”
“Your home? This is–” He stopped. He reconsidered. “I am the Vicomte de Saucisson,” he said. “I’m looking for the Marquis de Pamplemousse. He is a… colleague of mine.”
“Oh,” she said. She could’ve looked more abashed. “I’m sorry, monsieur, he’s never mentioned you before. You must be here to share your congratulations, of course, I can fetch him right away.”
“He’s never mentioned you either,” the vicomte did not say. “Of course,” he said. “Congratulations. What about?”
She seemed surprised. “Have you not heard? Monsieur, the curse on my husband has been lifted.”
He stared. His lips started to form the words “What curse,” and then there was a sound like a horse falling down a set of stairs and a man he had never seen before wearing the marquis’s clothes came barrelling down the hall.
“Vicomte!” said the man with the marquis’s voice. “My human friend! The curse has been lifted, and I am a human once again!”
He was slightly out of breath when he reached the woman. He clasped her arm and grinned at him with manic desperation. “This is wonderful news! You must be here to share your congratulations!”
“Lie like hell,” said the man’s eyes.
The vicomte stared. “Oh!” he said. “My – human friend! Human once again! Words fail me. After all these–” (there was the slightest hesitation) “–years?”
The woman put her head at an angle and narrowed her eyes at him.
The man walked up, still grinning like a rictus chimpanzee, and clasped a hand on his shoulder. “Yes, of course! Darling, me and the vicomte are going to have a manly one-on-one conversation while he shares his congratulations, as we human men are wont to do.” And then with a strength that could only be ogrish, the marquis pulled the vicomte by the shoulder down the hall and into a drawing room.
When the bolt of the lock clicked into place behind them, the man wearing the marquis’s clothes visibly sagged.
“What the hell,” said the vicomte.
“You should’ve sent word ahead that you'd be coming today.”
“I never do.” He gesticulated and tried to conjure a single question out of the swarm buzzing in his brain. “What the hell is going on? Who was that? Why are you pretending to be human? What curse are we talking about?”
The marquis groaned and crumpled into a chair. As he did he shifted out of human shape, clothes magically tailoring themselves to contain his ogrish form, something like a moose and an orangutan.
“I had a moment of weakness.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t a stroke?”
“I got married.”
“And that’s another thing–”
“Graoul, please.” He sighed and put his face in his talons. “Last winter a merchant broke into my home. He stole one of my roses, and in exchange I asked him to send me one of his daughters to be my bride.”
The vicomte nodded. This at least was a sacred and recognizable ogrish custom, and he did like to see the old ways in practice.
“And it was fine! It was perfectly lovely. She’s a wonderful woman, but one night I decided to put on a human shape to change things up in the bedroom, and she lost her mind! Started talking about how I was clearly an enchanted prince and that her love for me must’ve broken some curse and turned me human again! I had no idea how to tell her otherwise, and now I’ve done it for too long to back out.”
The vicomte stared. “Sorry,” he said. “You decided to turn into a human to spice things up in the bedroom, and that was the face you chose?”
The marquis growled. “If I knew I was going to be wearing it for the rest of my life I would’ve gone with something better.”
The Chamber of Opposition contains a mirror of opposition facing the door and 20 ogres. The first party member opening the door automatically looks into the mirror, causing an exact duplicate of opposing alignment to emerge and lead the ogres in battle against them. (George Barr, AD&D supermodule GDQ 1-7: Queen of the Spiders by Gary Gygax, TSR, 1986; from the Demonweb Pits area originally created for module Q1 by David Sutherland)
While not entirely a funhouse dungeon, the Demonweb has a number of contrived set-piece encounters with monsters waiting in rooms for no purpose other than to surprise any explorers who may enter.
Beast Fables - The Ogres of Urvara
Introducing Ogres for my Beast Fables setting!
For those new, Beast Fables in my worldbuilding project where on the surfaceworld, every human being is a werebeast, while merfolk live in the sea. They share the world with animals similar to our own Earth, but some can transform into mighty chimera via The Gift, the nigh-universal magic of transformation within the setting.
"Ogre" in Urvara, is a catch-all term for any large, powerful chimera that can walk on two legs, has tusks, is strong, and can tear apart a man in two with just their bare hands. Said hands may also have claws!
Most associated with Gifted bears, whom during times of great stress or because they want to hunt bigger game. Bears who transform into ogres also tend to view humans, no matter how formidable their beast forms can be.
Hippos and Ground sloths meanwhile, transform into Ogres mostly for territory and for defensive reasons. They REALLY want you to get outta their swamp!
a mermaid, a goblin, and an ogress
Favourite Comic from the Adventurer's Bible Tournament, Round 2 Part 3
Gnomes
Ogres
Masterpost