#oms 1

[justinesattendingadventures]

I put pipe cleaners in place of all 12 cranial nerves in this skull so we can quiz people on cranial nerves Friday before next Monday's donor exam. We took our last round of Monday quizzes today! Thank god we don't have those next year, maybe our weekends won't be so terrible until it's time for boards. It's crazy how close to done we are, but I really just want first year to be over already.

[justinesattendingadventures]

"Pulling arachnoid mater off the brain is the most satisfying thing in the world" -The weirdest thought I've ever had

[justinesattendingadventures]

Finishing first year like

[justinesattendingadventures]

A real human heart

It's easy for us to dehumanize cadavers. For a lot of people, that's the only way to remove yourself enough to pick through the cadavers for a minimum of eight hours per week. But the other day I was studying the heart and just stopped to appreciate that I was holding the thing that was once one of the most absolutely vital parts of a person. It beat fast when he was scared or excited, or maybe before his first kiss.

That sudden humanity that came from such a small object in such a sterilized academic environment hit me like a wave and I had to step back and look at the man whose spine we could easily see where his lungs used to be. I hadn't realized the extent to which I had been dehumanizing him in order to be human myself. It's crazy. And I'm sorry, I don't have some deep meaningful conclusion. This, like all of my other posts, has simply been an outlet for reflection. Maybe I'll try to think of him as more of a person in the future. Or maybe I'll slip back into complacency so I can have a conversation about silly meaningless stuff and pass time. In reality, I'll probably do both. But I hope I can do more of the former.

[justinesattendingadventures]

Reflections On Semester 1

So I just had to write an essay responding to the prompt “Your first semester in medical school is nearing its close. When you contemplate this semester, what experience has been most impactful? Where did you find yourself beginning to form your professional identity? How does this unfolding transformation feel to you?” 

I figured I’d share it here:

Reflecting on my first semester of medical school, the most impactful experience to me was the donor lab experience. While I had taken a death and dying course in undergrad and work as an EMT, the course was all conceptual, and as an EMT we rarely diagnose death unless it’s apparent and more often take the patient to the hospital while doing whatever we can to prevent a death that might have already occurred. So coming into anatomy lab, I was somewhat nervous to be up close and personal with death and confronted with my own mortality.

It took me a bit longer than my colleagues to touch the donor, and even longer to feel comfortable touching him. But my perspective of the donor as a person and a patient rather than just a body to explore or an assignment to do highlighted to me how our private thoughts can manifest themselves into how we treat our patients. I saw that some students who dehumanize the donors as a coping mechanism and some anatomists who were simply too used to them who then began to disrespect the donors in subtle unconscious ways such as leaning on their faces or not providing modesty by pulling the sheet over their genitalia when not working in the area. This made such a huge impact on me and I know that it will help me prevent myself from distancing from my patients and not being the kind and caring physician that I know I can be.

I suppose I am beginning to form a “professional identity”, but I feel like most of that isn’t coming from my classes. Medical school has required me (and most other students) to spend a minimum of eight hours per day in classes, although I would guess that most students average around 10-12 hours per weekday spent on campus. This has caused our class to grow very close very quickly, and although we are all adults, it sometimes feels more like high school than college or graduate school. Everyone knows everything about everyone else because we spend all our time together. The administration often treats us like high schoolers, telling us that we are responsible for the actions of our colleagues and giving us slaps on the wrist for things like not downloading something by an arbitrary deadline or using a certain door. Where I feel my professional identity has developed has been the standardized patient encounters, the CPC’s, and the outside preceptorships that I have attended. Basically anything that requires a white coat. The white coat has really been the factor that has made me feel like a part of the medical community, something that holds me to a certain standard and also boasts my accomplishments to the world.

Overall, my first semester of medical school has been both the most amazing and most difficult experience of my life thus far. I’m finally learning what I have always wanted to learn about, and it challenges me in a way that I have never been challenged before. It took me a bit to adjust, but I really feel that this is the beginning of my life as a medical professional and I honestly couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else.

[justinesattendingadventures]

Done with anatomy practical, done with live anatomy, (hopefully) did well on both of them, got my grade back from the big test on Friday and it was my highest grade in OMK (the book learning stuff) so far! Tomorrow is my clinical skills assessment so I have to do a history, physical exam, and a few special tests and OMM techniques and then I'm done until Friday with the OMK final. Then on to next block! I'm feeling good about this block. It almost seems like... dare I say it... I'm getting the hang of this whole medical school thing!

[justinesattendingadventures]

Expectations and realities of medical school:

Expectation: XXXL coffee every morning if you want to open your eyes

Reality: a cup of tea is enough for this (lucky) caffeine-sensitive girl

Expectation: no sleep ever, hook yourself up to a coffee IV to keep going

Reality: bedtime is 10pm and also 2 hours past the time that most other students go to bed

Expectation: cram whatever food you can into your mouth while you study

Reality: cooking and eating become study breaks to look forward to

Expectation: study alone in the library forever

Reality: make a best friend who you study well with and pretend you're hanging out all the time to make studying wayyy better

Expectation: every lecture is vital and must be attended with the utmost attention

Reality: okay this is true for some professors, but others you can watch the lecture later online at double speed and get the gist or just skip lecture altogether and look at the slides (I still go to every lecture though cause I'm a nerd)

Expectation: your entire life revolves around studying

Reality: studying in fact becomes your life and you eventually learn to revolve it around other things