You ask me to cleanse and heal you
But my hands are covered in both of our blood
So I choose to shield you from accountability
Like it is a violent beast that will tear you limb from limb
Mutualistically parasitic
If I am not the only one who can make a home in your body then you have no purpose for existence
You allow me to drain you so that you might drain me back
You suck my bones dry from sustenance
And my cells work together to produce more for you so you won’t starve
Because I know you’ll do the same for me
Our street flows both ways
It flows with substances and half truths
Enabling dread and unspoken questions
And in the morning we share a bowl of regret
And serve each other the illusion of forgiveness as a means to and end
What things will you allow me to do to you so you won’t have to bear my absence?
Why does reflecting on yourself hurt you more than shards of mirror penetrating your fists?
What are you afraid you’ll see?
What are you afraid of seeing that i don’t already see everyday?
If being alone with yourself is a nightmare
Can’t you see what I live through?
But instead of putting these questions between us
I pick the shards from your skin with tweezers
And channel my contempt into destroying any reflective surface
Because any image that haunts your dreams
There is a beast outside our house
Our house that is built from cyclical bullshit
And when I go to catch a glimpse she doesn’t look as bloodthirsty as I had thought
Her eyes are full of wisdom and her heart is full of experience
And her mouth is gentle and bears no shame
I find more comfort in having my bone marrow leeched from my pores
In a house where the walls are stained with blood
Where shards of mirror on the floor cut like knives if you don’t tread lightly enough
Where delusion feeds us both but satisfies neither
Than to let this well intentioned creature in
And hear what she has to say
