Insomnia (Whumptober 2018 Day 3)
For @la-vie-en-whump‘s Whumptober 2018 prompts.
All prompts from last and this year: HERE
Previous Days: Stabbed | Bloody Hands |
Killian stared at the text message, tempted to ignore it completely. It was three in the morning; by rights he should be sleeping. The drugs that Whale insisted he keep taking were supposed to grant him a dream free eight hours’ rest before slogging through the day. He was supposed to be healing, supposed to be getting better.
The problem was, however, that the drugs were making it all worse.
Far from a restful night’s sleep, the painkillers crashed over him like a rogue wave and dragged him into the depths of his nightmares. Convoluted memories turned into horrific possibilities turned into distorted feelings of terror and grief. John’s death morphed into Gold murdering Michael. His own torture at the hands of Malcolm and Felix became a front row seat to Emma’s slow demise.
Liam in the center of his gun sight, his eyes frightened but his demeanor calm.
That particular memory was hazy at best and never ended well.
But that wasn’t the problem. Nightmares he could handle. When he could wake up. The problem with all the meds Whale kept trying to force down his throat was that once they dragged him under, it felt like he’d gotten wrapped up in an anchor line with no way to cut himself free.
So he’d stopped taking them. And he’d stopped sleeping. The ratty apartment he’d found in less than twenty four hours after realizing that he’d almost shot his brother coming out of one of his nightmares smelled funny. The sounds of the city were all wrong here in Southie and there weren’t nearly enough locks on the doors. Not when Killian hadn’t taken a single weapon with him. He couldn’t risk it. He wouldn’t risk it.
Not when he knew his brother rarely let Killian’s opinions on what was best for him get in the way of Liam’s own thoughts on the matter.
Not when he’d seen, firsthand, how well Emma could pick locks.
He sent the sarcastic message back before he could think better of it. The truth was, he could have ignored the message, but he really didn’t want to. He was so goddamned tired of being tired and injured. He just wanted to-
Killian’s eyes jumped from the too-bright screen to the front entryway. The light filtering through under the door revealed a shadow of feet – one of which was tapping an annoyed rhythm. He could almost see the frustrated look on Emma’s face as she waited to hear footsteps coming to let her in.
Killian hadn’t even heard her approach the door.
Your neighbor looks like she’s getting ready to call the cops.
Killian sighed, but levered himself painfully to his feet and padded – limped - to the door. He barely had the lock turned before Emma had turned the knob and pushed her way in. She was dressed in a suspiciously familiar hoodie and pajama pants, two blankets folded in her arms.
One of which had very clearly come from his bed… the bed in Liam’s brownstone.
“Conspiring with my brother, are we?” he asked with a nod to the woven material in her arms.
Emma ignored him, surveying the Spartan apartment with a critical eye. “How long are you going to do this to yourself?” she asked without turning around.
Killian didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “This is where I live now,” he answered with a shrug that made him groan.
Emma did turn around at this, one eyebrow raised in an imitation of his own signature look. “Where are they?” she asked – sounding much like the accusation he knew it was.
Killian just shook his head. “I can’t; Swan, I…”
“Some Advil then. Come on,” she ordered, offering her hand for him to take.
He’d found out recently that he was helpless to resist her requests, demands, bribes, and yes, orders. Killian took a stilted step forward, mindful of all the hurts that he hadn’t given a chance to heal, and tangled their fingers together. She led him to what passed for a kitchen, the smell particularly potent in here, and set about to fiddling with his kettle.
“You don’t even like tea,” he accused, his fingers playing idly with the blankets she’d left on the table. Her blanket – the one she’d saved from the fire and nearly gotten them both killed for. The one with her name embroidered into the corner that was the only piece of her past she could lay claim to.
“But you do,” was all she offered in reply, kicking the stove when it made a peculiar sound and then reaching into the cabinet where he kept his box of tea.
She’d never been in the apartment before, but she knew where he kept his tea.
“I don’t want to sleep,” he admitted into the silence, staring at the careful knitting beneath his hands.
Emma’s voice was soft when she answered, absolving him. “I know. You don’t have to tonight. But you don’t have to stay awake alone.”
He wanted to protest. He wanted to send her home, wanted to send her back to Liam’s, wanted to make sure she was safe. His brother was safe; Killian was decidedly not at the moment.
But he wanted. Oh, how he suddenly wanted not to be alone. He wanted to know someone was just down the hall should he need something. He wanted to know that someone was there to make sure he was following Whale’s orders even when he had his own plan in mind for recovery. He wanted to know that he was home.
He didn’t sleep. Not that night, anyway. They sat on the ratty couch in the ratty apartment under the blankets that had no right being in this place and watched the sunrise. But when morning came and the nightmares faded back into the dark, Killian’s head found its way to Emma’s shoulder and he never remembered falling asleep.
“It’s okay, Killian,” she had whispered moments before he fell to his dreams, “I’ll be right here.”
@killian-whump @gilliangrissom @gusenitsaa @pirate-owl @nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable @ladyciaramiggles @cocohook38 @nonnyj @queen-mabs-revenge @eala-captian @crystalyte @kmomof4 @whumptober2018