ℳ𝒶𝓉𝓉 𝒟ℴℯ𝓈 𝒩ℴ𝓉 ℒ𝒾𝓀ℯ 𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓈 ★
Synopsis:
Matt doesn’t like this. He never did like this, even when he was a child, he would fight the fact that he had to do this… God, why did Mello bring Near from New York to California? Why did Near abandon all responsibilities as L right after Light fucking Yagami died!? Why was Mello so kean on keeping Near around?
{Matt x Near} Matt x Mello Mello x Near (onesideed)
𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡 𝔬𝔫 𝔞𝔬3
Cw: implied weed smoking cigarette smoking implied sex unhealthy relationships alleged cheating
(dividers by @chrisssiren) <33
wc:{2,090}
Matt doesn’t like this. He never did like this, even when he was a child, he would fight the fact that he had to do this…
God, why did Mello bring Near from New York to California? Why did Near abandon all responsibilities as L right after Light fucking Yagami died!? Why was Mello so kean on keeping Near around?
Because Matt would swear that they were anti-Near until last week, when Near saved Mello from dying, and made sure that Matt spent a full week in interrogation and a correctional faculty.
He wished he had stayed there, they were decently nice. Sure, he had to take out all of his piercings and the dye in his hair would fade out someday, but going brown and not being as punk wouldn’t kill him.
What would kill him was having to deal with Nate.
He had actually really liked Near, back when they were at Wammy’s, and Mell wasn’t there. They talked, studied together, and played some chess. It was a nice friendship.
They apparently didn’t have that friendship anymore.
Near didn’t like him, and it was obvious. Or maybe he just didn’t like being here, whichever one could be solved by him dragging his ass back to New York. Hell, Matt would drive him there himself.
So, Matt has made the decision that he will be the bigger man.
And leave.
Matt only was here because he had dedicated his life to Mello, because he loved him. Mello obviously didn’t love him back, even when they were kids, Mello never even showed any affection, or thought of affection.
He was wanted for his body, and that was all. Oh, and he could shoot a gun well. He was also wanted for that.
“What are you doing?” Near asked, turning the corner while Matt was taking down pictures on his walls. He was in one of Mello’s shirts, since they had apparently just left, nothing with them. It was ugly on him.
“Taking stuff down.” He simply answered, he didn’t want to even look at the boy, definitely not speak to him. “Why?” Near was getting closer to his door now. “Don’t you live here?” His eyes go to the strings of LEDs that had been ripped off the walls the night before. Matt had gotten a little angry.
“Not for long.” Matt decided that telling Near would do no damage, he wouldn’t snitch on him. He probably wouldn’t even care.
“You’re leaving?” Near’s face contorts to some expression that Matt had never seen before. It seemed like concern, or something.
“Yeah, I don’t want to stay here anymore,” Matt shrugs his shoulders, he feels a tinge of pain go through him as he takes down a picture of him and Mello in Chez.
“It’s because of me, right?”
Matt thinks, why would Nate care, why would he want to know? He obviously knew that he was right, he wanted him to say it. He wanted to know that he was the reason that Matt would leave. That he would have Matt’s boyfrie- partner.. All to himself.
Matt giggles. Nate looks at him like he’s lost his mind. Like all that bleach has finally gotten into his brain and is now dissolving it.
“No, it’s because I’m going to bring myself in, I want to repent for my sins by serving my time.” Matt tried to sound sincere, but couldn't hold in his laughter. When he laughs his tongue piercing hits the roof of his mouth, it’s kinda fun.
“Don’t lie to me.” Near sounds slightly sincere, Matt should take notes.
“Why would I, I have no reason to lie to you.” Matt doesn’t mean to be rude, he was taught to be kind. And he is, to cops.
“Because I can see right through you,.Matty"
That wasn’t something he heard a lot.
During their Wammy years, when Mello wasn’t dictating their lives, they would call each other “Matty,” and “Nathaniel”. The funny thing was that Nate’s name wasn’t Nathaniel, it was just Nate.
“When did we stop being friends?” Nate asked, honestly. That wasn’t something that Near was capable of being…
“When Mello told me he didn’t love me and loved you.”
Matt remembered the night like it was yesterday. On a good acid trip, it would be yesterday to him.
They had fucked, it wasn’t anything new, they did it whenever Mello was in the mood, or angry. And it was always Mell’s call, as it is in everything.
But tonight, Matt lit his cigarette, which he did every time. Even with the “NO SMOKING,” sign on the wall of the Motel, he still inhaled the smoke, and profusely blew it in the direction of the sign.
Mell looked over to him, they didn’t cuddle, so he was on the other side of the bed, staring at him. He seemed to want to say something.
“What?” Matt asked, picking at his nail polish, and shook his leg, which was leaning off of the bed.
“I don’t like how tall you are.”
“I’m an inch shorter than you. What are you talking about?” Matt wasn’t one to dilly dally when it came to complaining, his shoes may add a little height, but that was irrelevant.
“You’re lanky, it messes with my thought process.” Matt closed his eyes. He had a killer headache. Maybe he needed to smoke some weed, to help. And definitely not to space out during this conversation.
“Thought process?” Matt asked, he was sure that he had heard the man right, he was mainly repeating it so the man could understand what he had said.
“Yeah, when we have sex, I think you're Near, It helps.” Mello said, like it was the most run of the mill thing that he could. “I feel like I told you this.” Mello squints his eyes, at Matt’s glistening ones.
“I’m sure you have.” Matt was now grinding his teeth.
He reached over for his phone, which was forgotten on the floor, and noticed the time. 4:30 AM. It was beautiful outside that night, they were in some southern state for mafia work. They were tracking some guy down, he apparently was with his family, and avoiding paying debt.
So Matt, who would have puked his guts out if he had to think about Mello envisioning Nate under him instead of Matt. Got up, putting out his cigarette on the desk next to the bed, and stepping into his pants on the floor.
As he looked around the room for his goggles, he saw Mello’s hand, greenish tinted goggles in it. Matt nodded at him, and looked away as he reached over to grab them.
Mello didn’t speak as Matt walked out the door, slightly slamming it, he didn’t say anything when he woke Matt up by knocking on the car window. And he didn’t talk to Matt for that entire day.
Matt should have grabbed his keys, and left that very night. He would have been able to get to the airport from there, buy some ticket to a random country. Live there, start working at a mechanic shop, do something but what he had been.
“Im,” Nate starts, as he approaches Matt’s bed, and sits on the floor, next to the boy’s leg.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine Nate.” Matt sniffles, and slides down the bed, patting the boy on the shoulder. “It’s not your fault Mello loves you.”
Near throws himself into Matt’s arms, and lays his head onto Matt’s chest.
Matt wraps his arms around the smaller boy, and pats his head.
“Don’t leave, Matty.” Near says, his muffled voice even more muffled. “I don’t want you to.”
Matt’s never felt worse in his life, Nate was kinda nice when you thought about it. And he felt pretty bad because of the things he had said in his head and out loud to the quietness of his room.
“I can’t stay Near.” Matt said to the boy, whose eyes were clamped shut. “He’s going to get rid of me anyways, my job is to shoot real good, and put out.” He says trying to be humorous, and apparently failing. “He has you now.”
“He won’t for long.” Near says, burying his face deeper into the other man’s chest. “What do you mean by that?” Matt tries to mix some humor into his tone, but it falls on deaf ears and he loses the tone halfway through trying to make it sound convincing.
“I’m leaving too. I was going to wait until he got rid of you. So I could throw a ‘fit’, and then go back to New York.” Nate nonchalantly says, like it was common knowledge that he wasn’t staying. “Why would you leave? I thought you and Mello were a thin-”
Matt is interrupted by Nate giggling, like actually giggling, not sarcastic, not humorless, it was a giggle. Something that Matt had only heard from Nate once, and that was when he had asked if Nate wanted some of his weed, only to be rejected after Matt had offered.
“Me and Mello have no romantic relationship. Even if he thinks so with his entire being, I would never stoop so low to be with that man.” His gaze falters, looking down on the floor. “And my affections already lie with another.” Matt’s mind swirled through who it could be, Nate didn’t know many people, at least attractive people.
There was that Stephen guy, and Halle, and maybe Near could be in contact with some whammy's kids. But Matt was mainly drawing blanks.
“Who?” He spit out, on accident and not on purpose, it was just a split second reaction.
Nate’s eyes opened slightly, and he sighed, messing with his hair. Only at that moment did Matt remember that Near was practically in his lap right now. The thought did make him blush slightly.
Anyone would blush at the sight or feeling of Nate River on their lap, he was actually decently attractive, cute even.
Nate cleared his throat, and muttered something out. Matt raised his eyebrow and smirked, asking him to speak up.
“You.” Near coughed out, and for the first time, Matt saw the other blush, and turn his head to the side in seemingly shame.
As soon as the word came out of the other’s mouth, Matt began thinking, had he liked him for their entire lives, or did he just realize after they met again? And then the question went to him, did he like Nate?
He thought back to whammy’s, he had loved the time they spent together, he would argue those were his best memories from that place. He had also felt pangs of jealousy wherever he would hear Mello talk about Nate, but before this very second, he had always thought he was jealous of Nate not of Mello.
But now that he thinks about it, whenever he was in that shitty motel, and he thought of Nate under Mello, he had been envisioning himself on top of Nate, not him under Mello.
In a split-second decision, he wrapped one hand around Nate’s middle, and brought the other to his face, he pulled the other in and made eye contact with Near’s big black eyes before leaning in and mushing their mouths together.
The kiss was pretty bad, amateurish at best, but it was something that he had never felt before.
It was like a warmth spread from his chest, and not his dick for once, he felt himself get more into the kiss as Nate brought his hands up to cup Matt’s cheeks.
Whenever they broke, they both took breaths of shared air, and stared each other in the eyes.
They had an entire conversation in those eyes, they both agreed that this was what they wanted, what they needed. That the two of them would forget about Mello some day, and that when they were together Mello couldn’t hurt them.
They hurriedly got up, and snatched Matt's things. They packed, and left all the stupid ‘couples,’ photos behind on the bare bed. Not before Matt made Nate take off the stupid tight t-shirt that Mello had given him, and replaced it with one of Matt’s pink floyd tees.
That night, they got in the convertible, and drove off with nothing but the future on their minds. And if for the rest of their future they had to look over their shoulder for a burned gangster, than so be it.
Matt likes this, he definitely likes this.
side note: You should SO hashtag listen to this Matt playlist by @iheartmello on spotify !!!! it is SO gooodd!!!
