#onlyicanhelpmyself

[moonlightjaded]

I can fix me

[ponderingwonderer]

Sinking again.

I've been posting these a lot.. I think I'm getting bad again. Last time this happened I broke a good girls heart. And I think that's where I'm headed now. I'm tired of it. I wanna save her from the pain I know I'll end up causing. But I can't.. it feels like I'm falling down the very deep Water filled hole again. Fuck this sucks so bad. I find myself hating certain things a lot more than I used to. Getting agitated over a lot more. Including things that used to not bother me. I honestly just don't know. I feel like im not gonna get through it. That were not gonna get through it. And honestly, I can't say I'm all that sad... or upset. I'm not sure. But I know once I do. It's for good. And that's the scary part. Not the heartbreak. I rarely feel that when people leave. If I do it's quick. Always has been. I'm just at the point where not sure. And this is the worst place to be. Never thought I'd be here this soon with you. I really didn't. Never even made a plan for it like I did with her.

[rosesforlion]

sometimes

you see i forget to breathe i forget what i want i forget what i need i forget what i have i forget what i had i forget what i am and time seems to be the real test and tethers of lord-knows-what connect me to everything and i forget i can feel and i forget i can hurt and i forget i can leave and then take it all back i forget i can dream i forget i can live i forget i can stand on my own two feet and there's nothing but smiles and lies and laughs and cries and i swear someone's soul shattered between my teeth you see sometimes i forget and i drift too close or too far and the only one that can bring me back is me.