Shit I've heard/seen so far in my high school as a freshman
•*over heard from inside a classroom* "and he ate 5 PLATES OF SPAGHETTI"
•*zooms across cafeteria in Heelies*
•"Are you calling me a god? Because I'm DEFINITELY a sinner."
• "where the FUCK is my pudding?!?!"
•"What the FUCK Richard?!"
•my algebra teacher once threw a Chromebook on the floor
•friends went to Albertsons and bought two big bottles of orange juice and drank straight out of them
• "Does the Bible app count as social media?"
•foods and nutrition teacher: "I'm going to jizz my Caesar salad up-
"Hold up you're gonna whAT?"
•sometimes I stay after school and if I'm in my English class my teacher and I hear a faint scream from down the hallway
Friends/my algebra teacher: woAH that's hallway talk
•Friend: "who the hell has the pass I'm about to pee myself right here."
my Algebra teacher: *walking by* "you'd be the first person in 14 years to do that in my class"
•friend: "hey [twin sister] do you want me to buy you Panda?"
His twin: "No. (Pause) I'm gonna go pee now, bye."
•me: *hits friend with wooden spoon*
Friend: "you can't do that you're not my father"
• me: "I'm gonna go upstairs and FLING myself out a window"
My algebra teacher: "that concerns me. I can send you to the office for talking like that."
Me: "I'm happy I promise!"
•"{friend} has a membrane issue"
friend#2: "if you EVER do that again-" friend#1:"shut the fuck up"
•two upperclassmen at my school are TikTok famous
• friend: "I'm severely allergic to dogs"
•"There's powdered sugar on my shoe!1!1!1!
•friend #1: "I gotta pee."
#2: "OHHHH I thought you said you got a B!"
• me and my friends always get our volleyball stuck in the baseball net in pe and we usually get it down by having someone throw a basket ball at the net until it bounces out
*gets it stuck for the 4th time in one period*
Teacher: *notices* "stop getting it stuck up there!🙄😂😑"
*lowers the net to our shoulder level*
• me: "soRRY, I'm stupid as hell!"
My algebra teacher: *warning voice* "hey, don't talk like that-"
Me: "are you telling me not to say stupid or hell?"
Also I have many stories of funny shit that happens in my algebra class. Soooo future post maybe?