I think it’s funny that anyone would assume I’ve never been cheated on just because I don’t like to talk about it. My very first boyfriend cheated on me and I saved the date and evidence.
He thought I should be grateful because “I won” in the end. As if! What prize?
What hurt just as much, was that he cheated on me with a lady who bullied me, and he never explained why she targeted me. I spent so much time trying to make peace with someone who hated me without understanding what I'd done. Until I eventually learned the truth.
The part I don’t like to admit. The reason I don’t talk about it because like an idiot I forgave him and took him back. I took him back because he swore it would never happen again. Just for him to do other stuff, then later use me for drug money too. I left him for good after that.
I never got revenge. I just walked away carrying the weight of everything that happened. I know how much it messes with a person and don’t like hearing others talk about their experiences.
Years later I still know the weight of such an action. And in my last relationship I finally revenge e-cheated. To someone who’s done something I deem meriting it (emotional abuse, destroying my heart over again, etc). I justify it if it’s for revenge because that’s my twisted sense of justice.
I’ve only done that once to someone who destroyed my heart over and over again. For a while leading up I believed I didn’t deserve more anyways. Even then, I had to eventually leave cause staying with him, made me suffer too much even while exacting revenge. Looking at the person who made me so many promises who had crushed my heart into a million pieces.
“You’ve dug my grave, but I pushed you in it” - Hello Fascination - Breath Carolina.
Moral of the story? What did I learn? That I have a limit until I snap and clap back. Only thing I truly regret is not leaving sooner and maybe I wouldn’t have needed revenge at all if I had. Doubt it have even crossed my mind. For prevention is better than revenge.
I feel better now that I’ve left him. My boundaries and peace are becoming more sacred.
