#or something!!!

[foolnamedjoey]

I DONT KNOWWW!!!!!

[gutsby]

What about Joel cheating WIth you? 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

ALSO VERY HOT (IN FICTION!!) 😛🙂‍↕️

Are we thinking of a doting, devoted husband Joel? Or someone sleazier who’s done this hundreds of times before—maybe hits on the new interns at work and nine times out of ten gets at least one bent over his desk by the end of their first month?? Says, “I’ve never, ever done something like this before, darlin’, I just get so lonely around here” and gently cajoles you into a sense of comfort while he’s unzipping your skirt. Might even tell you from the start that he “doesn’t do feelings,” but each time you let him in, squeeze him tight, fuck him nice, make him come quicker than he has in decades, he starts holding on. Just a little. Bit by bit, you gradually unravel the man until he’s a needy, horny, desperate mess for you all hours of the day—and even at night, when he’s in bed with his wife and then sneaking off to the bathroom just to hear your voice while he jerks off. You’ve got him good in no time, and maybe, just maybe he’ll start talking about leaving her for you. Making things official

[void-bitten-ghost]

My fav lacenet be like:

Lace: "I'd die for you"

Hornet: "That means nothing to me you'd die today if I let you indulge in your self destructive tendencies"

Lace, pouting: "Well I'd also kill for you"

Hornet: "Again, that means nothing. You were murderous long before I came along"

Lace: "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

Hornet: "Nothing"

Lace: *Blue-Screens* *Follows* *Lives*

Hornet, getting exactly what she dared want, many years later: "Showing an ounce of kindness will not end you, pale knight"

Lace, not quite healed but better at least, still stabbing someone: "We don't know that dear spider. And then where would you be? Bringing me back from the brink of annihilation yet again?"

Hornet: "Gladly, if that's where being kind gets you"

--Many, many years later--

Lace, resting side by side with Hornet, almost whispering as to not wake her: "I would be kind for you. I would deny my baser instincts to destroy everything and myself to see you contented. Tell anyone this and I will kill you"

Hornet, caught out by suppressing a laugh: "I'd think about letting you. I won't, but I'd think about it"

[rawliverandgoronspice]

@bloobluebloo requested silly situation and silly costumes for Impa and Ganondorf in exchange of generous donations for families in Gaza, and so I imagined that some diplomatic sacrifices in regards to attending to the local princess' various celebrations might be harder to swallow than others.

I hope you like it!!

Feel free to request your own commission here!

[theshadowrealmitself]

Not enough people talk about the people who were homeschooled but not because they had weirdly overprotective parents

I was homeschooled for all of highschool by my grandma, except she didn’t actually put in any effort with me, she just gave me the (extremely weird) booklets and I had to teach myself and she would get upset with me if I asked for help

So I am one of those weird homeschooled kids, but I’m not like the other homeschooled kids, I’m like…super-neglected homeschooled kids instead of super-sheltered

(there was definitely some stuff I didn’t know going into college but it wasn’t because I had adults trying to “protect” me from everything, they just didn’t care enough to teach me)

Either way I’m a very weird adult and I just wanna bring attention to the fact there are people on the other spectrum of being homeschooled, not all of us had the overprotective parents, some of us are even worse at talking to people

[cicadaland]

My theory for the last two songs of Preacher’s Daughter is that Sun Bleached Flies was sung by the Ethel Cain that went to heaven and Strangers is sung by the ghost she left behind

[yekoc]

for the love of god please stop making me cry over f1 drivers in an alternate universe where they live on farms I just cried over charles fictional third cousin and its 1pm on a Monday while I am at work

imagine when charles's once-sickly third cousin (now ruddy and robust bc of all the cream) tries to set charles up with the new lady teacher at the school!!!! a comedy of errors.

charles is so instinctively nice and polite and obviously dances w the teacher at the church social bc she's all alone and when the third cousin is like "charles everyone has to bring the teacher lunch once a week and my day is today so can you come by the school w some lunch today" and charles shows up with LUNCH for her and she blushes!! etc.

and pierre's like charles that poor woman you are leading her on and charles is like no, i'm not, i'm just being nice and besides she takes such an interest in third cousin and then pierre has to take third cousin aside and say that it's not fair to lead a woman on like that and third cousin is like ??? but they should get married she's so nice. and pierre's like but then i would have to leave you know. and third cousin didn't think about that. he's like oh :(

and he's so worried now bc what if they DO fall in love and he ruined everything. can't eat his dinner that night. charles feels bad bc it's the one night a month he insisted on cooking and of course he burned the roast chicken. pierre has to reassure charles that the chicken is wonderful (it's not) and then he has to take third cousin aside and say i don't think you need to worry about charles and the schoolteacher i think he is very happy here with us. and as he says it pierre realizes he believes it :). then he has to go kiss charles in the kitchen and muffle the rest of his apologies about the food.