#organizing thoughts

[pandagirl45]

My personal headcanons or headcanons I love from the Fandom or from Canon

Tony is Scilian/Libyan

Clint has aremenian ancestery

Natasha originally are aggressively unknown but potentially Syrian or a lesser know location in russia

Bruce is Appalachian with French ancestry

Sam is Canon (though for me Sam gives off Cali/Sf raised)

Rhodey is Canon (though rhodey is philly)

Loki dyes his hair black to hide his red, he also go by she, they, and he.

Strange forgot his point of origin after a while

Wang deserves a break always

Mystique is not dating Destiny as of my au, due to the issues revolving around kurt (dont worry they'll get back together)

Wanda is complicated

Pepper was born in Minnesota but moved to Virginia for college. The irony doesnt surprise her.

In my au, Wanda and pietro mom had them but the father is not their actual father and its Erik (magneto). Wanda got her mom abilities (magic) and Pietro had gotten a hybrid form, his speed is a genetic change but also magically induced (which brings up the question what is considered x gene or not).

Vision is romantically interested in people but sexually he is not. (I sometimes ship him with clint and pietro. Wanda if she more level headed).

Pepper and Tony will never be toxic exs. Sorry, thats on the agenda. Natasha and Bucky, the potential is crazy for toxic exs. Flip that shit, tony and steve toxic exs shitck is choice. Vision and a toxic Wanda is mainly abusive at that point (especially if vision is trying to learn how to human).

Storm, not sure if i would ship her with anyone... maybe tchalla or Logan but eh... not sure yet

Tony celebrates mix holidays to honor his mom (not maria) and he put salt on howard grave (in this variant howard was a bastard and highly abusive, gave tony claustrophobia. Yes tony has to breath and focus when he is fighting in the suit.)

Tony knows how he was conceived and he hates that his mom said she was drunk is all. Bucky wished he could have made it hurt when he was sent after howard.

Tony and Bucky flirt in ranges of sweet to fuckong morbid

Bucky had a loving family. He is also romanian/Ukrainian on his mom side and Scottish on his dad side.

Steve dad was also abusive, in a more emotional way to steve and physical with his mom, which is why he probably latched onto howard so quickly and Erskine (emotional acceptance and shit). Steve is Irish on his mom side and American (united states) on his dad side.

I headcanon steve doesnt actually have any entrance as a war vet, but he is an honorary one. Steve also knows he did it for a personal reason, one he feels is the most selfish he has been. For best friend, because steve can be selfish.

Loki has all his abilities back after ragnarok happened. He is free now, that means his jotunn half is free too. Strange is so into it.

[thepoggersdilemma]

AA5 Spoilers ahead:

Man, im trying to move towards AA5 now, and work over Polly's grief because its SOO juicy. But it also makes me a bit shy, since the more AA5 and 6 develop, the more crack i made up the ship's lore LMAOO.

It's so 0)-( because i'm bad at angst, but i also haven't found fics that deal both with odnr relationship problems and polly's grief in a way that I like, so I need to try and brain it up.

As I understood it, the game just makes Wright go "somehow this will get solved :)" and its weird because it never makes it explicit whether he's sure or not about what he's doing. He just has a brief moment where he feels useless as a mentor, and it quickly moves on to introducing more characters.

But, The vibe I enjoyed, was both Wright not being able to crack into Polly's core & it making him feel like a failure (as someone who went through something similar before), and also Polly being a bit insane over trying to stay cheerful & doing his job, since that has been his way of making himself feel useful.

I feel like it would be an amazing to explore their fall out. Like i'd like to fill in the gaps of Apollo's and Athena's interactions up to the moment Apollo wants to drop the agency by showing him accidentally souring up around her & having shitty attitudes with Wright. And Wright having no idea how NOT to act up, since that's been their thing for the entirety of AA4 lol. (writing this makes me go hmm, over Trucy too since I didn't like how after AA4 her character is more concerned about keeping everyone together than on her own magician troupe arc & would be interesting to imagine it too)

It would be super interesting to have Wright open up about Mia for the first time to Polly, and tell him he was not invited to the funeral since they weren't close & tell him the plant in the office was Mia's. And have Apollo denying it a lot at first. But then he ends up asking Wright to accompany him to the wake, and having Clay's jacket (or a plant too i guess) around his room next time Wright visits him.

aaarhhhhhh i can develop them ,, falls to the floor, ,, i can make their relationship deeper,, ,,

im just listing ideas because i want to write fic eventually, but it feels a bit messed up in my mind.

[angieartness]

I was raised to be quiet.

I am naturally reserved anyway, so it was just a matter of being given abundant praise for being quiet and "well behaved" to instill in me the habits of someone who does not take up space or obstruct anything. Ever.

I am 32 years old.

For the past 5 or 6 years, I have been actively working to unlearn those habits. To realize that quietness and agreeableness is not the end-all be-all of my existence. I feel like I've made some good progress, and I'm eager to continue tearing down unuseful habits and beliefs, and building up the skills, strength, and bravery needed to be my not perfectly well-behaved self.

But lately I've been having to use my old habits, my deeply rooted "skills" in keeping (other's) peace. And I'm having to use them a LOT. More than I ever had to as a child. And I can see the necessity for it right now (maintain living situation), but... I'm afraid.

I'm afraid I'll lose my progress.... the progress I've worked so goddamn hard for. I probably (hopefully) won't, cuz I have a couple good friends who support and encourage my individuality (thank gawd lol).

But still.

It's a very personal type of suuucksssss.

[quitepossiblyknot]

Thought is partial. It is a part of something, but not complete in itself.

Thought x time = knowledge

Knowledge ÷ time = memory

Memory = time:knowledge:experience

Memory is past

Past is time

Thought creates time, as well as space, which creates distance

The speed is the missing variable in this equation

~

Thoughts per cycle

Gotta go into cycle more. The interval, computing, mathematics, and physics of it all catch my eye.

In the machine.

[reecedarlene]

"Adultolesence" by Gabbie Hanna

[bunigojade]

i cant sleep and my thoughts are just getting darker and i know its just because im anxious so maybe writing it out will help

my moms coming over for dinner and i know its because she wants to talk about me. she wants me to get a job or take college classes for a degree so i can get a job. and like i get it but i cant find the will for that if that makes sense

i see this country and the state of capitalism and i feel heavy. it must feel like a deflection from myself which i can understand but it feels so tied to the topic at hand. im supposed to earn money to survive day in and day out for the rest of my life? how is that living? life feels like it should be more than this. i dont want to continue living in this state or country, the world is gigantic and theres so much to see. so much to experience. yet everything requires money.

i just feel this repulsion to the idea of being a part of this machine. i would rather fight tooth and nail than be a cog. and i worry that its disrespectful to everyone else who takes part either willingly or not. im not better, but i dont feel im worse at least. and so it begs the question of if im going to seperate myself from how the world works, should i not be fighting to change it for the better? and i begin to feel really torn because is it bad if i dont fight to change it? life is so short and i feel i could spend decades and not make a meaningful change, so is it wrong to say i would rather try to find fulfillment in my own way? is that unfair to the world who still struggles for me to try and enjoy what i can outside of it? do i even matter in any regard?

whats worse is that i dont think anyone i talk to either truly understands or just doesnt know how to respond. its always the same 'theres not much of an option' or 'try doing this for a job, its not as bad' but these arent answers. the choice as it lays before me is do i take part in society as it intends and expects for me to or do i forge a completely different and unsure path. i mean no disrespect if i take the other route but can it even come off that way? am i bad for wanting this freedom so fervently?

is it even possible?

[lgbtuan]

Are you and Kathia dating? 😯

That is a very.......... complicated question anon pls akxwkdjw difficult to answer.......

@dawnofus thoughts?

[klaydontplay]

It’s funny catching myself thinking about her. It’s wild how after all this time, not a day goes by where I don’t daydream about her. As if nothing‘s changed.. We really went through all that just to become strangers again. I should be happy for her though. As painful as it is to admit. At least I was able to do that last thing right by her. I just wonder, if pushing her away was the right move then why am I still so broken inside.