on the 2nd day of rothmas, castieltrash1 gave to me... kissing under the mistletoe with the tim roth characters! (more below the cut xoxo)
⋆ freddy “mr. orange” newandyke (reservoir dogs)
freddy makes fun of the idea of mistletoe a lot for someone who consistently uses it as an excuse to kiss you. he’ll call it cheesy, sappy, and every other teasing word he can think of -- mistletoe kisses are for romance movies, he always says. and then a bundle of leaves and berries shows up taped to the top of your bedroom door and you assume he’s simply entertaining you. then, there’s one in the kitchen, tied to the shower head, and even hanging from the rearview mirror in his car.
“c’mon, kiss me,” freddy urges, playfully nudging your shoulder with his. the streets are cold and quiet, his leather jacket smelling faintly like cigarettes as you walk side by side. you can feel his bony knuckles through both your and his gloves when he squeezes your hand, pulling you close.
you roll your eyes, failing to bite back the grin that spreads across your face. “i don’t know… there’s no mistletoe around.”
freddy huffs and you almost feel bad for teasing him with the way his lips droop into a frown. “you’re right…” he kicks the icy sleet beneath him with a sigh, and before you notice the mischievous glint in his green eyes, he reaches into his pocket, digging around with his free hand. out comes a bundle of mistletoe; a bit smashed from hiding for who knows how long.
“what about now?” he asks, dangling it above your head.
⋆ cal lightman (lie to me)
cal avoids mistletoe purely because he uses it to exact torment on others. he’s always hanging it up in awkward places at work, ignoring gillian’s reminders that he’s lucky hr is so lax with him. really, he thinks it’s absolutely hilarious to watch loker realize what’s dangling above his head and scurry away before anyone else notices. the idea of standing under mistletoe himself doesn’t even cross his mind until you show up!
“are you even listening?” cal asks, narrowing his eyes as he steps closer, pupils darting across your face as you grin. “what? something in my teeth?” he bares his pointy canines, but you simply tilt your chin upward, redirecting his gaze.
mistletoe. he knows where every piece of it in the office is and this is not one of them. how you snuck it in without him noticing, especially with his trusty security cameras, is astounding, to say the least. microexpressions he can disguise, but the flush that covers his cheek is unavoidable.
“gotcha,” you tease, the word dying on your lips as he leans in.
⋆ philip chaney (captives)
some facilities set up a space for inmates to take christmas pictures with their families and you’re thankful philip is in one of them. it’s not half-bad, to be honest. there are some pretty lights with a traditional backdrop, and you each get printed copies of the photos taken. by the time your holiday visit rolls around, both of you are vibrating with excitement. physical touch is usually only permitted during greetings and goodbyes, so getting an extra excuse to snuggle him is just an added bonus.
“alright, lovebirds, step together,” the photographer instructs, positioning himself behind the camera.
before you can even blink, philip holds your cheeks in his hands, pulling you into a passionate kiss. a few wolf whistles echo through the room and the reactive gasp you let out only urges him on, his tongue darting out to drag between your parted lips. a shutter and flash stun you from your daze and you stumble backward, suddenly feeling very warm.
philip steadies you with a chuckle, pointing up to the mistletoe on the ceiling that you hadn’t noticed before. “surprise.”
⋆ ted the bellhop (four rooms)
ted’s attitude toward mistletoe is entirely dependent on who is around. if you’re in the same room, he’s standing under it for hours if he has to, awkwardly side-stepping anyone else who approaches him. if he’s stuck with some less desirable kissing options, he’ll avoid the entire side of the building just to ensure he doesn’t get caught beneath it.
“ted? are you down here?” you shuffle down the mon signor’s signature red hallway, making sure to avoid the questionable carpet stains as you near the honeymoon suite. “ted?”
“yes, yes! here, i’m here!” ted pops his head out of the double doors, grinning at the sight of you. “come on,” he urges, gesturing you over with his hand. the whole room has been redecorated for the holidays and it’s almost enough to distract you from the realities of this building. as you ooh and awe at his work, ted procures a bundle of mistletoe from his pocket, pinching it between his lifted fingertips.
“the final touch,” he purrs with a wink, puckering his lips as he waits for your kiss.
⋆ joshua shapira (little odessa)
mistletoe is not something at the forefront of joshua’s mind. he’s heard about it, of course, but he couldn’t point it out in a pile of other flowers and plants if his life depended on it. if you made a point of it, he’d certainly remember, but he won’t necessarily care if you don’t. most christmas-related traditions kind of blur together for him since he doesn’t celebrate, so don’t take it personally!
you watch as joshua and some of his friends talk amongst themselves, gesturing and staring in your direction. he nods at whatever they’re saying before he begins stalking toward you, his jaw twitching with the hint of a smirk. before you can ask what he’s thinking, he digs his gloved fingers into your waist, pulling you in for a rough kiss.
his lips are chapped from the cold but you still melt in his arms, savoring the taste of smoke on his tongue before he shifts back. “w-what was that for?” you breathlessly ask, chuckling softly in a mix of disbelief and amusement.
joshua jerks his chin toward the mistletoe hanging above you -- the one you’d forgotten you’d stood under earlier in hopes of snagging a kiss. over his shoulder, his friends fail to hide their nosy peeking at the two of you. “you were waiting for me,” he murmurs, licking the taste of you from the corners of his mouth and then pulling you back in.
⋆ guildenstern (rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead)
guildenstern is a big romantic when it comes to things like mistletoe. if he’s going to kiss you under one, he wants to do it the right way. while he likes surprising you most of the time, he’d rather the moment be romantic and dreamy enough to both fluster and remind you that he’s more than a bag of tricks. he’ll always be a jokester, but his love for you is very real!
it’d taken some plotting and rosencrantz's help, but guildenstern had managed to sneak a branch of mistletoe in every corner of the castle you might end up in tonight. somehow, you keep narrowly avoiding each spot, and his cheeks fluster with a mixture of embarrassment and frustration as he helplessly tugs you between rooms, trying to remember where the next closest mistletoe is.
“is this what you seek?” you tease, fingers wrapping around his wrist as you hold him in place. dangling precariously above you is the one branch he’d completely forgotten.
guildenstern immediately pulls you into his arms with a grin. “at last!”
⋆ david (resurrection)
mistletoe is one of the few decorations david might be inclined to permit during the holiday season as it directs your attention solely to him. he keeps it with him and dangles it above your head whenever he feels like it -- especially if you’re mad at him or too flustered to kiss him in public; how could you turn down such a handsome charming man in front of a crowd? he knows you’ll begrudgingly give in, so that’s all that matters.
“david,” you hiss, skin prickling as eyes fall on your figure. everyone in town is staring, waiting to see how you’ll react to the bundle of leaves and berries he holds above your head, twirling between his fingertips. public affection has always made you shy -- he knows that, you can see it in his sharp grin and the crinkles by his eyes.
he doesn’t say anything, but the look he gives you is enough of a reply. are you going to embarrass me? it asks. realizing the silence has drawn out for too long, you lean forward, giving him a quick peck that he eagerly returns. a few people giggle, some even clap, and david squeezes your hip with his free hand, glad to know he’s got you exactly where he wants you.
⋆ colin (meantime)
there is no godly power in any universe that could convince colin to willingly stand under a branch of mistletoe. sure, he’ll accidentally wander beneath one once or twice, but the second he realizes it, he stumbles away. a bet or dare from coxy and mark (or them forcing him to do it) is the only way he’ll find himself fidgeting underneath the dreaded plant, cheeks flushed and a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.
“look at poor kermit, waiting for a smooch!” mark yells, his rambunctious friends joining in on the fun as they watch colin squirm under the pub’s mistletoe. he picks at his fingernails, his glasses fogging as his eyes dart around the room, looking for someone to put him out of his misery.
thankfully, you’re already on your way, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and ignoring coxy’s yells that it “doesn’t count!” colin practically trips over his own feet at the feeling of your touch, but you steady him with a steadfast grip on his shirt collar, and he gives you a shaky smile.
“t-thanks.”
⋆ gerbino de ratta (virgin territory)
gerbino couldn’t care less about the actual traditions surrounding mistletoe -- all he knows is it makes you feel more inclined to kiss him, even at inopportune times. he’ll take advantage of it whenever it’s around, but he prefers to tease you with it in more private settings. don’t be surprised if he pulls a bundle of it from his pocket after returning home following a long day of stealing and terrorizing florence.
“mhm, you taste divine,” gerbino groans, scruff scraping your soft skin between kisses. his free hand holds your chin steady as he explores your mouth with his tongue, dragging it over every inch of you that he can reach. the mistletoe between his opposite fingers drifts lower and his lips follow, trailing slowly down your neck.
“and here…” the leaves brush your collar, then the center of your chest. “and here…”
⋆ oswaldo mobray/pete hicox (the hateful eight)
pete is a sly man. he’s used to conning people and charming his way out of bad situations, so hiding surprises from you is pretty easy. he pretends not to know a lot about mistletoe -- if you ever point it out, he’ll just nod and say it looks nice before changing the subject. in reality, he’s very aware of its meaning and is simply planning a way to catch you off guard and steal a kiss when he knows it’ll make you most flustered.
“love, over here,” pete calls, his distinct accent cutting through the overlapping chatter of the inn. you’re only passing through for a few days and you’d sent him to secure a seat while you finagled some drinks for the gang. weaving your way through the crowd of cold inhabitants, you plop down beside pete, dropping a few mugs of something hot on the table.
“i got y-”
the rest of your sentence disappears as pete presses his lips to yours, his mustache tickling your skin. a few hoots and hollers echo around you but you can’t pull away, not with his teeth lightly tugging your bottom lip. his mischievous tongue soothes the same spot before he leans back, taking your chin between his leather-gloved fingers and tilting your head up to the mistletoe hanging above.
