I do not remember much of my home. I do remember I lived in the void between all, as I have mentioned before. It was a place where nothingness itself was tangible. The place was both liquid and gas, solid and not. It is hard to explain.
I had made my own little camp there, made something out of the nothing to make someplace a bit more hospitable for those who may visit me and also to entertain myself.
But I also vaguely remember a place that was similar to that void, but everything was outlined in bright, almost glowing outlines.
It looked vaguely like this:
(Although better and more realistic looking objects. I am not the best artist.)
I do not know if this place was separate from the void I know or a part of it. This place could have existed within the void, or the void could have existed here. I am unsure.
Other than this, I remember a blue wolf in this realm.
over the past year, ive experimented with multiple labels and identities. this is to update yall on the creatures i feel connected to and identify as/with!
1. Red Fox
this is my strongest type, and is my main hearttype. i experience phantom limbs, specifically a tail, ears, fangs, muzzle, and being the size of a fox. i also experience the most species dysphoria in regards to my red fox kintype. this has been my longest-lasting identity as well! i own quite a bit of gear for this type, including a tail and multiple self-made masks. for me, red foxes teeter on the line between identifying *with* and identifying *as* one. so far, though, i do consider myself foxhearted! i experience longing for forests and fields, and a burrowed den. i also enjoy collecting and hoarding small items and food, similar to a fox. i specifically know that i have red fur, black paws and ear tips, and a white tail tip with green eyes.
2. Grey Fox
this is much more recent! a few days ago, i did a moodboard for someone regarding a grey fox, and i felt an instant connection. this is definitely a hearttype for me. something about looking at images of these critters makes me feel like im looking at family. grey foxes are most active at dusk and dawn, which i identify with strongly. grey foxes are unique in their ability for climbing trees, which i identify so strongly with! i love climbing up and just perching in a tree, watching people below me. it makes me feel safe and at-home. looking at this image feels like looking in a mirror, honestly. i believe that grey foxes are a strong hearttype for me, and may also dip into kintype territory!
3. Ocelot
again, this is very recent. i made a moodboard i believe just yesterday with these critters and something just clicked. i have experienced multiple feline shifts/behaviors, but i thought they were just cameo shifts. now i know that this is me!! ocelots are nocturnal, extremely territorial, and spend time in dense brush or trees-- all things that i identify with. ocelots mainly live in coastal marshes, mangrove forests, and tropical forests. i feel SO connected to this critter, it's absurd. this is definitely a kintype for me.
4. North American River Otter
our first linktype! i identify voluntarily as a river otter. ive always thought they were really cool and i feel a strong connection to creeks and rivers. i also exhibit multiple otter behaviors, some intentionally and some unintentionally. swimming is also quite euphoric for me! i don't feel entirely aquatic though, and i know i have paws and fur while in the water. this was my first linktype i chose! to me, this is a funlink.
5. Wild Rabbit
this is mostly behavior-based. i experience intense prey instincts, remain alert when outdoors, feel the need to burrow and make a safe place for myself, prefer to be solitary, make nests, and dig! i have quite a few rabbits in my neighborhood, and i feel a strong relation to them. im not quite sure what label fits my experience-- it's not intentional, but doesn't feel involuntary either. more like learned behaviors. i don't feel that i am a rabbit, but i am very much so like a rabbit. i dont identify with rabbits, but i do act and feel like one. it's strange! but burrowing and nesting makes me feel so euphoric :33 i believe this may be a form of copinglink, alongside a deeper involuntary identity.
6. Wolf
this is a copinglink/involuntary identity. again, it's behavior-based. this type feels the strongest whenever i am alone or with another person i care about, especially when in dangerous situations or areas. this is a very general wolf/canine type, as it's not specific to one kind or breed of canine. grey wolf seems to be the strongest, but i also feel shifts and identify as/with black wolves, coastal wolves, dobermans, german shepherds, and other canines! i believe this does partially stem from trauma, as i feel like a feral dog let free from confinement. however, i still identify on some integral level as a wolf, or as someone who was raised by/should have been one.
7. Fallow deer
discovered while I was running through the woods with my friends and I felt a strong mental shift! not very strong usually, but gets really intense when I run or spend time in the forest. seeing deer tracks also gets me feeling shifty as it feels like I have family nearby. i identify as a deer mentally and physically!
8. Ominous conceptkin
this is a fun one :33 i identify as this concept/vibe! i feel such strong kinship with ominous spaces, especially certain backrooms levels. i feel euphoric when I'm in an ominous place, especially if I'm creeping out others (in a friendly way of course!! not just random people, and not all the time). i love feeling spooky and foreboding :3
9: Trinkethearted
i feel a very strong connection to the idea of trinkets and collecting things! i have a large collection myself of various sparkly bits and bobs. i thought this was a kintype, but after some thinking, it feels more like a connection than an identity. i love decorating myself with a lot of jewelry and accessories to feel connected to this hearttype! organizing my collections, thrifting, displaying my trinkets, and collecting new items all help as well.
