#owenhunt

[sapphirebluejewel]

Endless List of Platonic Relationships I Love - Owen Hunt, Derek Shepherd, and Mark Sloan

"I've taken up cooking to keep myself sharp for when the next big case rolls in." "Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

[dahliawolfe]

Chemistry Lesson

Grey’s AU med school fic. 

Freyja dumped her duffel on the blue plastic covered mattress and sighed. The room was bigger than she was expecting, but she had a roommate. But, she’d rarely be in her room anyway, she figured; not between classes and internship. The bed across from hers was already covered in a beige duvet and robin’s egg blue pillows. A copy of Grey’s Anatomy laid on the plush cover. Rolling her eyes, Freyja sifted through the box she brought up with her and drug out the black velvet duvet, ruby sheets, and matching pillow cases. She quickly made her bed and tossed her bat shaped pillow in the center of it before moving to her closet to hang up the few clothes she had. She hung her crisp, blue scrubs up at one end of the closet, placing her med bag in the bottom beneath it. Her black work sneakers sat beside that, and her combat boots and chucks stood on the other side of the closet. The one nice dress and shoes she owned were pushed back in the back of the closet. She was told that she would be expected to attend the Hospital’s Christmas party, and that it would be black tie, so she took most of her last paycheck and purchased a black velvet and lace evening gown that hugged her body and some black peep toe pumps. She looked damn good in it, if she did say so herself.

“Oh, hi, you must be my roommate,” came a voice from the doorway. A young, blonde girl with blue-green eyes stood offering a shy, crooked smile.

“Oh, yeah. I guess. I’m Freyja,” the girl replied, sticking out her hand for a shake.

“Meredith.”

There was a bit of an awkward silence before Meredith spoke again. “I was heading down to the dining hall. Want to join me?”

“Sure. Let me grab my ID.” Freyja was at medical school on a scholarship, and it covered a meal plan, so for once, she wouldn’t need to worry about affording food.

…

The two roommates made small talk as they made their way to the dining hall across campus. The weather was still hot and sticky, so by the time they made it back into the air conditioning, Freyja could feel the sweat running down under the waistband of her denim cutoffs. They each grabbed a tray, and began to fill it. Meredith looked like she was having a hard time choosing between a salad and a slice of mushroom pizza, so Freyja nudged her arm. “That salad is never gonna taste as good as that pizza. Just get the slice.” Meredith laughed and nodded, grabbing the slice of pizza and stepping forward.

They snagged a table near the back of the room, and sat down, diving into the food. Freyja nearly jumped out of her skin when a tray was slammed down beside her and someone plopped down onto the seat. She looked over in astonishment as the girl beside her began to tear into a sub sandwich.

“Christina,” the girl grunted around the food.

“Oh, umm…I’m Freyja, this is Meredith.” Cristina nodded and went back to eating, only stopping long enough to pull a thick textbook out of her bag and toss it on the table.

“This spot open?” came a deep voice from Freyja’s other side. She looked up into the bluest eyes she’d ever seen.

“Uhh, sure,” she replied, lifting her wallet and keys from the stool and placing them on the table.

“Thanks. I’m Mark. Mark Sloan. And you are?”

“Freyja Poe.” Mark gave her a dazzling smile.

“Nice to meet you, Freyja. Who are your friends?” Freyja has never been the person to volunteer to interact with others, so she was extremely uncomfortable.

“This is Meredith, my roommate. And this is Cristina.” Christina paid the man no mind as she began to highlight vigorously in her text book. Mark nodded before looking up and yelling out.

“Yo, Owen, over here!” A tall red head in fatigues gave a wave before making his way to the table. “Ladies, this is Owen, my roommate.”

Introductions were made again, and everyone finally settled in to eat. Freyja looked up from her pudding cup to find a guy staring straight at Meredith. “You know him, Mer?” she questioned, cocking a brow at the guy.

Meredith turned to look, before turning back around and shaking her head. “No.”

“Well, he’s been giving you googly eyes the whole time we’ve been here,” Mark chuckled. Meredith blushed. Seeing that his ruse was up, the guy stood and approached the table.

“You guys interning at Grace?” he asked, plopping down beside Meredith.

“Yup. I’m Mark. And this is Freyja,” he motioned to her. “Cristina, Owen,” he grinned, pointing at Meredith. “And that’s Meredith.”

“Alex Karev.” There was a beat of awkward silence before he spoke again. “Listen, you should call me sometime, I think we could really hit it off,” he stated, passing a piece of paper to Meredith before standing and strolling away. Meredith sat, speechless, staring at the paper. Freyja snorted.

…

“Well, this is where we leave you ladies,” Mark proclaimed as they reached the Watson Hall dorm.

“Uhh, where are you guys staying?” Owen asked Cristina, who had yet to give him the time of day.

“Meredith and I are in Geiger,” Freyja added lamely. Cristina’s eyes lit up.

“Me too!”

“Oh, nice. Your roomie here yet?” Owen asked. Cristina scowled.

“I don’t have one. Something about me being hard to live with.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” the red head added.

“What room are you in, Freyja?” Cristina asked, smiling widely at Freyja.

“Oh, we’re in 13B.”

“I’m in 18! Sweet, I’m seeing parties in our future!”

…

Freyja and Meredith made it to their door, only to see that their neighbors had arrived. A tall brunette with wild curls and a pretty smile stood on one side of the room unloading a fuchsia body pillow, while another brunette lounged on a turquoise gaming chair.

“Oh, hey, guys! I’m Callie, and this is Anna!” the taller of the two stated, waving cheerfully.

“Hi, I’m Freyja”

“I’m Meredith.” Anna studied the two closely before nodding.

“Nice to meet you both. You guys from around here?”

“Uhh, I’m LA,” Freyja replied, studying the room. It was cozy and slightly Boho, and she could tell that Callie and Anna’s tastes meshed well together.

“Yeah. I’m from Seattle,” Meredith added.

“I’m from Florida, and Anna here is from New York.”

“You guys at Grace?” Anna asked, kicking her feet up on her bed.

“Yeah. You?”

“Yup. Have you taken a look at the intern schedule yet? My hours are brutal.”

“Yeah. I’ve got my first rotation in the ER Monday. It’s a 6 to 6,” Freyja stated.

“Oh, nice! I’m ER this week too. We can carpool if you want,” Anna offered, giving a bright smile.

“That’d be great, actually.”

…

Later that night, Freyja sat up watching the rain slide down the windows at the end of her hall. She was restless. In just 2 days, she would be well on her way to making her dreams a reality.

…

Monday morning came quicker than Freyja expected. At exactly 5:18, she slid into the leather seats of Anna’s Range Rover.

“Freyja, wait! Can I catch a ride with you?!” came a shout. Mark jogged closer to the car. “Owen borrowed my car for his weekend drills and didn’t get back in time!”

“Ummm…I’m not driving though.” Freyja turned to look at Anna, who rolled her eyes, sighed, and nodded. "Sure, come on.” Mark grinned and flopped into the backseat. Freyja studied him. He was tall, tan, and muscular, and his golden rod hair was shot through with bits of caramel and chocolate. His scrubs hugged his every muscle. He smirked at her.

“See something you like, Poe?”

“No. Just wondering why they sent you child sized scrubs, that’s all.” Anna choked on her coffee, spewing it out with her laugh.

…

“Listen to me. And listen to me well,” Miranda Bailey intoned. “I will not hold your hands. If you screw up, then it is on you. I will kick your ass out of this program so fast that your head will spin. Seattle Grace has the best of the best. And we do not settle for less. You will learn to listen when I speak. And you will learn what is important to remember. Which is everything, because I don’t waste my breath on nonsense. Am I clear?” All of the interns nodded mutely. “Good. Now, I don’t like losing, so you better not make me look bad.”

Freyja couldn’t help but feel the shot of excitement that ran from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

…

“Karev, if you can’t run a line, move out of the way. Poe, you’re in.” Bailey spoke in the last few minutes leading up to the end of shift on Friday night. Freyja stepped up, gave Alex a small smile of sympathy and placed the line, having no trouble, whatsoever. Bailey gave her a much coveted smile. “Nice work, Wednesday.” Bailey loved poking fun at Freyja’s dark aesthetic, and Freyja just felt fortunate to be noticed. “That’s it for today. The pit is empty. I expect to see you all back her Monday morning, bright and early. And remember next week is a 7 day, none of this pansy 5 day stuff.” With that, the woman walked away and everyone let out a sigh of relief, rushing to the locker room quickly before a tragedy came in.

…

The whiskey burned going down, but Freyja sighed nonetheless. She knew it would offer her the chance to take her brain offline for a bit, and fuck did she need that. She looked around her. Cristina was posted next to her on the stool, steadfastly ignoring Owen’s obvious advances. Anna and Callie were leaning against the pool table hustling a couple of townies who had no chance in hell of leaving with either of them. Alex had his tongue shoved just about as far down Meredith’s throat as Freyja thought possible. And Mark stood at the jukebox placing quarters in the slot.

“Hey, Frey, I’m gonna head out with Alex,” Meredith spoke, finally coming up for air. Freyja nodded, saluting them with her next shot before tossing it back.

“Come on, you,” Mark demanded, pulling Freyja off of her stool and close to his chest, as he swayed to the music. Freyja whined at being pulled away from the bar. “Oh, no. We survived our first week in the trenches together. You’re gonna dance with me, soldier.” His hand wove around her hips and shoulder and he swayed her against his body.

“Bon Jovi, really, Mark?” Freyja teased as Mark sang softly to “You Give Love a Bad Name”.

“Shut up. You love it.”

…

Mark had been twirling Freyja around for the better part of two hours. When she finally got free and stumbled back to the bar, she was laughing, and his hands stayed glued to her hips. They sat side by side as Freyja ordered them some shots. She looked over at Mark, who offered her a smile and leaned in.

“You know, we could take this somewhere else.” Freyja sighed, just having his breath ghost her ear was enough to get her wet, but she knew better.

“Mark, we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“We work together.”

“Oh, we could work together,” he raised his brows at her suggestively. Freyja laughed and slapped his arm.

“Seriously. Neither of us needs ties right now.”

“Then no strings.”

“Mark…”

“You only live once.” 

“Look, we have chemistry. I know you feel it. So, we have some hot sex to blow off some steam. No one has to know. Just you and me. I mean, I can give you references, if you’re questioning my abilities.” Freyja snorted, looking at him evenly.

“We shouldn’t.”

And well, who was she to argue?

[omeliashepherdhunt]

Stay With Me

Chapter One

I wake to muffled cries. A quick glance at Emmy’s monitor reveals it’s not coming from her. Our sweet baby girl has been sleeping through the night for the past month much to her brother’s relief as their bedrooms are adjacent. I briefly rub the sleep from my eyes and realize the distressed sounds is Owen. He’s laying on his stomach but I can see his frightened face contorted with anxiety. Beads of sweat from his forehead blend in with the tears that escape from his tightly shut eyes. I sit up and start to gently shake him awake, afraid of what he’s dreaming of. Owen doesn’t take too long to jolt awake and sit straight up in record timing. His blue eyes dart back and forth and he’s breathless. I reach out and stroke his face that is sticky from sweat.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.” I try my best to soothe him. It takes Owen a little bit to be able to form words.

“Bad dream. I’m fine. Go back to sleep please.”

I softly smile at him and squeeze his hand. His T-shirt clings to his body from how much he was sweating.

“I can’t go back to sleep until I know you’re okay so why don’t you tell me what all of that was about?”

“I can’t talk about it, Amelia. It’s scary and traumatic. I don’t want to go there, especially not with you. I couldn’t take it if you started to think of me the way others have.”

I raise my eyebrows, feeling taken back. There is only one thing he has remained tight lipped about — his time in the army.

“Owen, I’m your wife. The wife that has had her fair share of dark and scary things. I can’t help you through it if I don’t know what is torturing you in your sleep. You married a recovering addict and alcoholic with chronic mommy and daddy issues. I have no room to judge.”

Owen peered over at the clock on his nightstand. It’s just after two in the morning.

“It’s late and we have a baby that will be up in a few hours. I swear I’ll be okay. I’m going to jump in the shower and rinse off really quick. I feel disgusting.”

“Owen, please just tell me what it was about. I can handle whatever it is.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily.

“Drop it for Christ’s sake. I don’t need to talk about it. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

My stomach started to form knots so I just gave his hand another squeeze.

“Okay, I’ll change the sheets then come check on you.”

I watched him walk away while my heart sank. His normal 5’11” self from now looked similar to my 5’3” frame purely from how mentally exhausted he looked.

—————————————————————————

It’s not often that I have such vivid flashbacks to my time served in the army, especially not about the explosion. I’m not sure how much time has passed when Amelia comes in and starts the water. I only notice her briefly, unable to tear my eyes away from my reflection in the mirror. Sometimes it’s hard to see why Amelia is attracted to me when I look like I do right now. There’s huge bags under my eyes, skin abnormally pale, and my hair is slicked against my head from the sweat. Another moment or two passes by the time I feel my wife’s petite arms envelope my abdomen.

“Bath water is ready. I know you said you wanted a shower but I wanted to join you. It’ll also help you to soak your tense muscles.”

I couldn’t keep a sheepish smile from escaping.

“Amelia, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you but I sure am glad I have you. I didn’t mean to be so curt with you earlier. It’s hard.”

Her small hands cupped my face and she pulled me in for a soft kiss which I happily reciprocated. Things didn’t seem to be so bad when she was by my side.

“I just want you to be okay. Leo, Emma, and I need you here both mentally and physically.”

I kissed her again and let my lips linger against hers.

“I’m right here. You and the kids can’t get rid of me that easy.”

She pulls me by the hand over to the tub and takes her own sleep shirt off while I peel my sweat drenched T-shirt and pajama pants off. She gets in first and ushers me to get in front her which is different for us. Usually she curls up in my arms but I’m happy to have her hold me for once. If only I could protect her from the horrors of my past.

—————————————————————————

Owen didn’t say much in the bathtub but it was still nice to just have him lay there with me. It’s not too often we get so much one on one time with each other because Leo or Emma needs one or both of us.

Once we were dried off and back in our freshly made bed, I pulled him to me and let him rest his head on my chest. His ginger curls still damp from the water smelt like his lemon and sandalwood soap.

“Owen, please remember you can tell me anything. I just want to know what scared you so much.”

He sighed heavily but tightened his arms around me.

“It’s not easy for me to talk about… I don’t want it to change what you think about me. It’s not a light story.”

“I figured as much. There isn’t anything you could tell me that would change what I think about you. I love you. You’re my husband and my smoking hot baby daddy.”

Owen let out a sarcastic chuckle which made me giggle. At least I could still get him to smile even when he’s not wanting to.

“I love you more… Now I’m going to tell you this one time and I really don’t want to elaborate on it… We were on a convoy and hit an IED. I wasn’t hurt too badly but everyone else was subsequently killed. Dan Mooney, who served with me as Colonel, initially lived but his injures were too severe and he succumbed to his injuries only after I had to say a Hail Mary with him and he forced me to take my hand off of the wound on his neck. He bled out right before I was rescued by a helicopter. Now I live my life with immense survivor’s guilt. When I nearly choked Cristina to death, that was because I was triggered merely by the blades on our ceiling fan. Callie Torres was actually the one that got me off of her. I haven’t forgiven myself for that.”

His entire body went rigid as he explained the details which just broke my heart. He had been through so much at Grey Sloan without everything that occurred during his time served.

“You know… whatever higher being out there wanted to keep you alive for a reason. Now look at your life. You’re married to a brilliant neurosurgeon, a father to a five year old son and six month old daughter, head of trauma surgery, and we own a beautiful house and both of our vehicles.”

“I know we’ve been very rich in that sense but it doesn’t make what happened to my platoon okay. My own mother didn’t know I was home from the army for the longest time… Who I was then is different from who I am now. The army changed me overnight.”

I softly kissed the top of his head and wished that I could protect him from the world much like we try to protect Leo and Emma.

“I love who you are now. Your journey makes you who you are. You’re not a bad man, Owen. It’s nothing you could’ve controlled. You weren’t driving and no one knew there would be an IED right in the path. You did what you could with the resources you had in the time that you had.”

Owen looked up at me with huge, watery eyes. I held him as close to me as I could. His facial expression reminded me of Leo’s when he’s in time out.

“Mia, there are times where the pain seems unfathomable. When I get flashbacks or have night terrors, everything feels so raw and recent. How am I supposed to be strong for you and the kids?”

“That’s the thing, my love. You don’t always have to be the strong one. I’ve had my fair share of hard things. We are equals. You’re strong when I can’t be so I can do the same for you.”

Owen’s shaky hand reached up to caress my cheek.

“You are a saint. Let’s try to get some sleep before Emmy needs to nurse again. Just feeling you in the bed helps me feel safe.”

Another kiss on Owen’s head then one on his lips stretched a sweet smile across his face. He looked exhausted but more content by the time he started to doze off. It was a quarter past three in the morning before he was asleep again though I couldn’t sleep. All I could think of was his trauma and what steps we needed to take to get him into some form of counseling. If I can do NA or AA meetings, he could see a PTSD expert.

[art-now-japan]

Three Anthuriums, Owen Hunt

Anthuriums make a great design for a painting and I enjoyed using watercolor to add transparency to this painting. My inspiration is Emil Nolde, and the modern floral painters. It is painted on Arches Cover printmaking/watercolor paper.

https://www.saatchiart.com/art/Painting-Three-Anthuriums/62378/3472588/view

[seriously-addicted-blog]

10 Epic Scrub Room Moments pt. 1. Here I am 🙃 After the Elevator scenes, it's time to celebrate some epic #ScrubRoomMoments. 🧼 MerDer shared some of the most iconic scenes there, and Meredith even "danced" with Derek's ghost or recall her miracle dream in a scrub room. The dialogue between April and Meredith during the shooting episode is one of the most perfect things of whole Grey's. Ellis Grey's ashes belong to the OR 2 thanks to Mer and Richard. Besides, scrub rooms is where death is quite often announced. "Sing, Cindy Lou, sing," is my favourite moment between Mer and Jackson, I think. I didn't expect it. And the (almost) goodbyes of Mertina and Merlex rip me apart. There's definitely going to be a part 2, cause I have many more in mind. 😄 ✏️ Comment your favourites or let me know which Scrub Room scene would you like to see next! #greysanatomy #greys #MerDer #Mertina #Merlex #Merthan #Omelia #MerJackson #meredithgrey #cristinayang #alexkarev #derekshepherd #owenhunt #ellisgrey #richardwebber #aprilkepner #jacksonavery #GSMHplaces #scrubroom #merderscrubroom #merderedit #greysisgrace #explorepage #greysabc #greysanatomyedits #greysedit #seattlegracehospital #greysloanmemorialhospital https://www.instagram.com/p/CUsCevxNw9J/?utm_medium=tumblr

[scartetqueens2]

Every Day (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/706639330-every-day?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=ScarletSQueenS2&wp_originator=8KxbIKQ8Mr14uI8ewYHW0Mqo8W3TM0AGvtv2aK089ShR4slVDJKZOmFDToeniBXbdLBs7kl7puhcllAtbUD6rD1hbutYFO5jq63yfcaZC6fJzhnB9xmFNh%2FxqxwmO7bz Since when do they do Valentine's? 😉❤️

[itssweeterthanfiction]

Oh Owen you irritate me 😂but then you:

go punching violent patients

Pep talking homeless veterans

Comforting Amelia

you have your shining star moments

And no one can take that away from you

Or maybe it’s just Kevin McKidd bringing more to the character 🤷🏼‍♀️

[omeliaendgame]

A hard decision

Hey, Omelia-Fans :) After a pretty long time, I have this new Oneshot. It´s about Owen being requested for a service in Iraq and how he decides, if to go or not. I hope you´ll like it!

It was 7am and Owen finished his night shift, when he got a call. „Hello?“, he said. „Major Hunt. This is Lieutenant Cullen...“, a men answered. „I´m calling because...“, he continued and Owen listened to him attentively.              „Service... Leave... 4 months.“ These were the words, which got stuck in Owen´s head after he  hung up. He had to get out of here. He pushed his way through the crowd of doctors, patients and gurneys and finally stepped out of the hospital. He took a deep breath and sat down on a bench. He looked at his phone in his hand. They wanted him to serve in the army. They wanted him to go to Iraq. Again. Should he go? Could he?! Could he leave Seattle, the Hospital,… Amelia?! He knew it was just for a few months; for the army it was nothing… but here… so much could happen in 4 months in Seattle. Owen didn´t know what to do. How could he decide wether or not to go?! Without further ado he called Megan. „Hey Owen“, she answered pleased. „Megan? Megan, they called me, the Army called me. They want me to serve in Iraq...“, he told her desperately. „What? When? And why?“, she asked after some seconds, not knowing what to say. Owen sighed to answer less hectically. „The flight would be in 8 days. They said they need people.“ Silence. „Do you want to go?“, Megan asked. „I don´t know. You know me, I really want to help. And… but… I don´t know if I can leave Seattle.“, he answered. „When do you have to decide?“, Megan wanted to know. „I said I would call within the next three days. What should I do?“, Owen asked her distressed. „Calm down, you don´t need to decide today. But it´s your decision. You need to take your time and figure out if you want to go to Iraq for these months.“, Megan said reassuring. Owen sighed. „Would you go?“, he asked. „Owen… after all what happened, I don´t think I could. But helping and being there felt good. I enjoyed my service… until… you know. I don´t have the same memories as you, but I know that you felt very good helping there, too. That´s all I can tell you, Owen.“, Megan answered. „Thank you, Megan“, Owen said, „I´ll call you soon, okay?“ He knew that she nodded although he couldn´t see and hear her. So he hung up the phone and went to his car. He didn´t have to decide now. But he still was afraid to decide. What if he would take the wrong decision? What would Amelia say? Oh no, was Amelia at home? Did he have to tell her now?! Owen´s head was spinning the whole way home. When he stood in front of the door, one part of him hoped to see Amelia and forget all his worries. Another part wished, she wouldn´t be there, so that he wouldn´t have to tell her everything. He opened the door.

„Owen.“, Amelia said and stepped out of the kitchen. Owen closed his eyes slowly. Okay, she was here… he should tell her now. „How was your shift? Any exciting cases?“, Amelia asked curiously. „No… it was a pretty calm night.“, Owen answered distracted, while he stowed his jacket. „Oh, okay. Then… you can´t be that tired. We could spend the night awake.“, Amelia said seductive. Owen swallowed. „Ehmm, you know, I´m actually pretty tired.“, Owen said quietly. Amelia looked disappointed. „You don´t feel like it.“, she said. Owen hesitated. „Actually… I have other things on my mind… well one thing… and...“ „What is it?“, Amelia interrupted him, „Sorry… It´s just… you seem so distant.“, she said with a lower voice. Owen felt bad for her. It was not her fault. „I´m sorry, Amelia. It has nothing to do with you, believe me… It´s…“, Owen lowered his head and almost whispered: „The army called me this morning...“ Amelia looked at him confused. The army? Why would the army call him?! But then she understood and turned around. „And now you´re going to leave Seattle, am I right?“ Owen didn´t answer. „You´re gonna leave me and everyone here…“, she said while she got a lump in her throat. „Let me explain it to you“, Owen said. „No! I understand. They called you. They need you and you want to go. It´s okay.“, Amelia said in a choked voice and walked upstairs quickly. How could he do that to her?! Everyone left her. Was there not even one person, who could stay with her?!

Owen sat on the couch motionless. He had thought about running after her, but he decided to let her alone a little while. He understood that she was upset. But she got the whole thing wrong. He needed her to understand, why he considered to leave Seattle. After a few minutes he went upstairs, assuming Amelia to be in their bedroom. He entered and saw her standing at the window. She didn´t look at him, but Owen knew she was crying. When she noticed him, she wiped away her tears, but she still didn´t turn around. Owen sat down on their bed and sighed. „I don´t know if I´m going… Yes, they requested me, because they need help, but I didn´t say yes… Well, I didn´t say no either. I have to decide within the next three days... I just want you to know, that – also if I´m going – I´m not going to leave you. I would be away for 4 months and then… I would come back.“, he said softly. He hoped Amelia would say something, but she didn´t answer and stared out of the window. „The army services are a part of me, Amelia. This is not an easy decision. Do you think I want to leave Seattle, my friends and you? Of course not, but I also want to help outthere. It´s a different work than I do here, and it´s important to me. I like to be there and help. It´s exciting and fulfilling.“, he tried to explain. Amelia turned around slowly and sat down next to him. She laid her head on his shoulder, what surprised Owen. He didn´t move and looked down at her hair. „I don´t want you to go.“, she said quietly, „I know this is selfish, but… everyone I love leaves me, and I don´t know if I can handle another loss… But… I´m not gonna stop you. You need to do what feels right, Owen“ Owen´s heart grew heavy. She made his decision even harder. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered: „I´m not gonna leave you! You´re not gonna lose me! I will call you and 4 months will be over faster than you think. “ Amelia knew what he meant, but she was afraid he would come back and be another person. He already had problems with PTSD. Now he said he wouldn´t leave her, but would he think like that after his service, too? She knew she couldn´t stand in his way. If he wanted to go, she would have to accept it. But it hurt. The idea that he could leave and not come back hurt so much.

When Amelia woke up the next day, she noticed the empty place next to her. She sat up tired. She didn´t sleep very well. The thought of Owen going to Iraq stopped her from sleeping. She looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 1pm. How could she oversleep the whole morning?! She remembered that Owen was at the hospital today and that she had the night shift, so she probably wouldn´t see him. She swallowed; maybe he was away in a few days. Why did he not wake her up? She changed her clothes and walked down the stairs. Then she saw Owen sitting at the table with his laptop. „Owen? I thought you were at the hospital?“, she asked confused. „I reported sick. I needed a day of. To think.“ Amelia nodded. He still had to take a decision. She went to the kitchen, to prepare her breakfast. „I´m not going“, Owen said looking at her. She stopped and turned around. Did he mean it? „What?! Owen, are you sure? I didn´t want to influence your decision. What I said...“, she said. „I´m sure.“, Owen said firmly, „I already told them. And what you said yesterday didn´t influence my decision. From the beginning, you were the main reason why I had to take a decision. And why it was so hard. Without you I think I would´ve said yes without much thought. But now… I don´t want to go, because I can´t leave you. I don´t wanna leave you! I love you and I need to be here with you.“ Amelia looked at Owen´s eyes, which were filled with honesty. „You´re not going.“, she said, more to herself than to him. „I´m not“, he said and smiled. He stood up and took her hands. She smiled back and pressed her lips against his. „I hope you´re not going to regret this.“, she said then. „Definitely not“, Owen stated and kissed her again. He felt like his decision had been made already when he got the call. Inside, he had known he wouldn´t go, from the outset. He just had needed a little while to realize that his time as a soldier was over.