Jun 21
Tumblr’s Favorite Dad Tournament ’26 ROUND 1
🍔 Bob Belcher (Bobs Burgers) 🍔
👮♂️ Pa Cop (The Lego Movie) 👮♂️
Voting ended onJun 24
seen from Brazil
seen from Germany
seen from Poland
seen from Brazil
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
seen from Switzerland
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from T1
seen from Switzerland
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
Tumblr’s Favorite Dad Tournament ’26 ROUND 1
🍔 Bob Belcher (Bobs Burgers) 🍔
👮♂️ Pa Cop (The Lego Movie) 👮♂️
the lego movie if it was written by SOME fanfic writers
The TAKOS Tuesday That Never Was Masterpost
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
pa cop my thirst for you knows no bounds
The Atlantis Expedition
Chapter One: Some Nights
They had hardly been celebrating for ten minutes when Batman’s phone went off. He answered it with a cursory “Batman,” listened for a moment, then hung up with an “on it.” He turned to his now ex-girlfriend and new friends. “So I can’t say I’m surprised about it, but now that Lord Business has been stopped, the Joker’s started right up on his antics again. I gotta go take care of it.”
“So you’re bailing on us,” Lucy said sharply.
“A superhero’s duty never ends.” And just like that he was gone.
Lucy sighed, shaking her head. “Don’t know why I expected any different,” she muttered. Emmet stepped closer, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.
“It’s no big loss,” he assured her.
“Aye lass, I be sure he would have found some other excuse to wriggle out of clean-up,” Metalbeard grumbled his agreement. Benny was too distracted by the pair of figures approaching them to voice his own opinion on the matter. They were an elderly couple in matching police uniforms, both with the name “Callaghan” embroidered on their shirts.
“We were hoping to be able to talk to The Special,” the woman spoke, kindly voice holding a nervous tone. Emmet immediately turned to give them his attention.
“What can I help you with?”
“It’s our son,” Mr. Callaghan started. “We’re… we’re worried about them.”
“Them?”
“Wait,” Emmet said, seeming to put two and two together. “Your accents, and… He kept calling himself ‘we’… You’re Bad Cop’s parents?”
“Bad Cop has parents??” they could hear Unikitty not quite whispering to Metalbeard in the background.
“Yes,” Mrs. Callaghan replied. “They’re hiding something from us, and no matter how much we try to get an answer from them, they won’t tell us. Please… We can see they’re hurting, and it’s something they can’t talk about to their own mum and dad. Please look after them for us, be a friend to them? We can only guess it’s something to do with the work President Business had them do.”
“Well sure,” Benny agreed easily, though his mind was reeling that someone like Bad Cop was raised by two such sweet people. He had a feeling he wasn’t seeing the whole picture on this one, though- after all, it wasn’t like any of them knew Bad Cop well. Emmet was the only one who ever had any sort of interaction with them outside of combat. “It won’t be a problem,” he assured them, and Emmet nodded in determined agreement. Bless his heart for always seeing the good in people.
“They’ve probably already left to start directing cleanup efforts,” Mr. Callaghan suggested. “They always liked to bury themselves in work when they were upset about something.”
“Well let’s be off then,” Metalbeard said. “There is a lot of cleaning up to do.” They split up, Emmet setting off to find his construction crew, and Lucy tagging along with him. Metalbeard and Unikitty led the efforts to build shelters for those whose homes had been wrecked in the fighting, Business directed the collection of his destroyed robots and micromanagers, and Benny floated away to see if he could spot Bad Cop in the flurry of activity. It actually didn’t take long before he heard a familiar deep, growly voice barking out orders, and he touched down just a few feet away. Benny supposed it was a good thing that Bad Cop was the chief of the Super Secret police, because none of the normal people of Bricksburg seemed to recognize or be afraid of him, following direction without hesitation.
“Hey,” Benny greeted with a wave.
“Spaceman,” Bad Cop acknowledged, giving him a curt nod in return. The astronaut grinned in response.
“The name’s Benny,” he introduced himself, fighting back a snicker when one dark brow arched above the reflective aviators.
“I don’t need to know your name so long as you can follow orders well,” Bad Cop grumped in response. “Now stop chatting at me and get to work.”
“Geez, what a grouch,” Benny pouted. “What happened to the cool guy I met just like, two hours ago? He let me build a spaceship!”
“Benjamin.”
“Benny,” the astronaut corrected patiently.
“Ben,” the cop snapped back. “Get to work.”
“Well since you asked so nicely,” Benny teased, drifting over to begin picking up chunks of concrete and asphalt.
Night fell only an hour later, and everyone shuffled off to their homes, or to the shelters that had been so swiftly set up. Emmet was a little disappointed that so little progress had been made, but it was already evening by the time they had won. He looked around at his new friends as they somehow managed to find each other again. “Do you guys have somewhere to stay?”
“I think we were just going to stay in one of the shelters,” Lucy said. “Why?”
“Cause, uh… I have room, if you wanted to stay somewhere a little less crowded…”
“Sounds good to me,” Metalbeard agreed, and Unikitty nodded, smiling. Benny had draped himself across one of Metalbeard’s broad shoulders, already nearly asleep. “Lead the way, lad.” Lucy took Emmet’s hand as they walked, smiling back at him when he grinned brightly at her.
Emmet hummed happily to himself as he went through his morning routine- without his instructions! He felt so proud. Though he omitted going out onto his balcony to shout “good morning, city!”, not wanting to wake his guests. He was somewhat surprised to find he was the first one awake; the fight must have really worn everyone out yesterday. He brightened considerably as a thought occurred to him- he had company! Important people in his life! He really ought to be a good host and provide them with breakfast.
The Master Builders were roused by the smells and sounds of bacon sizzling and eggs frying, Emmet’s kitchen radio turned on but low, their host in question humming along quietly with the music. The clinking of dinnerware being set on the dining table alerted them to the nearness of breakfast being ready, and with a wide yawn, Metalbeard pushed himself to his feet, ducking to avoid scraping the ceiling with his hulking frame. Unikitty was the next to rise to consciousness, not quite her usual perky self yet but clearly trying to be. They moved into the dining room, both surprised and somehow not to see six chairs seated at a surprisingly large table. Emmet certainly had high hopes, it seemed, but now it was finally being put to proper use.
“Good morning!” Emmet chirped as he placed a tray of bacon and eggs on the table. There was already a plate of croissants, a bowl of fresh fruit, and a jug of orange juice sitting on it.
“Mornin’, lad,” Metalbeard greeted in kind. “Tis a fine feast ye’ve set out for us.”
“Please tell me you have coffee,” Unikitty muttered.
“I, uh…” Emmet cleared his throat. “I tried making some? It’s my first time though so I can’t promise it’s any good.”
“Emmet?” All three looked over to see a sleepy Lucy standing at the end of the table, rubbing sleep crust from one eye still. “Did you make all of this?”
“I did!”
“Wow, it looks… really good…” She stared down at the veritable breakfast buffet, surprised.
“Sit down!” he urged, rushing over to pull a chair out for her. She smiled at him and sat down, letting him push her in. “Do you want orange juice, coffee? I think I have some tea if you’d prefer that, too, or milk, or water.”
“Orange juice is fine, babe.”
“Coming right up!” He scooted off to grab the jug and pour her a glass.
Benny was the last to make an appearance, clearly not entirely awake as he drifted aimlessly into the room. Metalbeard chuckled, nudging him in the direction of a chair. “This way, lad.”
“Where are we…?”
“Emmet’s apartment.”
“Oh, that’s nice…”
“Is he okay?” Emmet asked, concerned.
“Aye, he be fine, just takes a while to fully wake up most mornings. Don’t think he paid much attention to where we crashed for the night, tis why he’s disoriented.”
“I see…” Emmet mused. “Would coffee help?”
“Oh good lord no don’t give him coffee,” Unikitty grumbled. “He’s terrible when he has coffee.”
“Wow, somebody’s cranky in the morning,” Lucy remarked.
“Silence, mortal.”
Benny giggled, then fell silent and stared uncomprehendingly at the glass of orange juice set before him.
“So I didn’t know you could cook, babe,” Lucy commented, deciding to ignore Unikitty until she was feeling more pleasant.
Emmet blushed, feeling quite pleased with himself. “Well, yeah… It’s a lot cheaper than going out to eat all the time.” He smiled sheepishly. “The instructions said to buy expensive coffee. Thirty-seven dollars for a small cup with sugar and cream… I had to find ways to cut back elsewhere. And I, uh…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I always hoped to be able to impress a girl, someday.”
Lucy smiled sweetly at him, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Well color me impressed.” He grinned brightly at her. Unikitty shuffled into the kitchen to help herself when the coffee maker beeped that it was finished brewing.
“Not bad for your first pot,” she complimented upon returning to her seat, steaming mug floating beside her. “I’ll show you some tricks later.” She climbed back up into her chair and grabbed the mug with her paws, sipping contently at it.
“Well, dig in, everyone!” They moved almost as one, reaching for the bacon, and Emmet snickered, letting Lucy be the first to help herself. Plates and trays were passed around for a minute as everyone got what they wanted, and then they tucked in.
Lucy’s eyes went wide at her first bite of bacon. “Oh my gosh. EMMET.”
He grinned at her. “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” he teased. She shoved him playfully in response, shoving the rest of the strip into her mouth, and Benny cackled.
The team met Business and Bad Cop at Larry’s coffee shop, one of the few places in the city that was still intact. The surly barista was handing out free coffee and breakfast sandwiches to anyone aiding in the cleanup efforts, and gave Business a defiant glare when the President made an appearance. Business wisely chose not to comment, simply turning his attention to the Master Builders and giving them a rundown of his plans for his broken machinery. Emmet assured him he would pass the message along, and they split up once more.
“You again,” was Bad Cop’s greeting when Benny touched down just a few feet in front of him, smiling widely.
“Good morning to you too!” he chirped. “So I never did catch your name yesterday.”
“It’s Bad Cop,” the officer replied flatly.
“I know your last name’s Callaghan.” Benny bounced alongside Bad Cop as he attempted to make an escape. “Is your first name something traditionally Irish too? Is it Liam?”
“No.”
“Seamus?”
“No.”
“Come on man, give me something to work with here,” Benny whined.
“Cary,” Bad Cop finally snapped, then startled when he realized he’d basically just given this complete stranger, a man who only a day before was considered a mortal enemy, permission to use his given name. Benny blinked at him in surprise, then grinned widely.
“Cary. I like it, it suits you. Cary Callaghan…”
“Shut up, Ben.”
“So since you told me your name, does that mean we’re friends now?”
“No.”
“Aww, but I told you my name too!”
“You only told me your given name.”
“Oh. It’s Blue! I’m Benny Blue! Now are we friends?”
“If I say yes, will you shut up?”
Brown eyes sparkled merrily at him. “Not a chance.”
“You’re a menace.”
The astronaut snickered. “Oh I know, the worst kind too!” Bad Cop finally cracked a smile, and even though it was barely there, Benny counted it as a win. “You know, you look really nice when you smile.” Said smile immediately vanished, Bad Cop’s cheeks tinting red at the compliment as he looked away. The reaction tugged painfully at Benny’s heartstrings, and he guessed the poor guy didn’t get compliments very often. “Well. I count you as my friend now, if it makes any difference. You’ll have to put up with me being the worst kind of pain in the butt twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week!”
Bad Cop turned back to him, giving him a long, studious look. “I suppose there are worse people to be friends with,” he finally allowed, and Benny whooped in victory. “Now can we please get to work? There’s still a lot to be done.” The astronaut merely grinned, and began using his anti-gravity abilities to lift larger pieces of rubble out of the street.
It was somewhat after noon when Bad Cop called for a break, the sun burning hot over the city. “Everyone go get some water,” he advised. He’d long since divested himself of his helmet and hot leather jacket in an effort to beat the heat, but even he was starting to succumb. It was time to find some shade. He paused when Benny popped his own helmet off, and stared when the astronaut revealed the most impossibly fluffy copper blond hair Bad Cop had ever seen. It seemed to ignore the rules of gravity as much as its owner. He let out a chortle at the thought.
“What’s so funny?” Benny was glancing at him in confusion.
“You must have some serious static problems with that helmet.”
“Why do you say that?”
“It’s…” He wasn’t quite sure how to describe it, so he simply gestured, waving his hand to indicate the way it was sticking up. “It’s just as ridiculous as you.”
“Oh, it’s not static! You have noticed the rest of me floats too, right?” Benny shot back, but he was grinning. Bad Cop wondered if anything ever truly got the astronaut down, he always seemed to be smiling.
“Aren’t you hot, wearing that suit all the time?”
“Don’t you get hot wearing all that black leather all the time?”
“You do see I’m not wearing my jacket, don’t you?” He rolled his eyes at Benny’s snickering, the action going unseen behind his mirrored shades. “Are you always this sassy?”
“Only when I’m in a good mood!”
“Which I’m guessing is all the time, then.”
“You’re well on your way to becoming a sassmaster yourself, grasshopper.”
Bad Cop sighed. “Come on, you lunatic. Seeing you bundled up like that is enough to give me heat stroke.” Benny floated along behind him, and he considered all their interactions thus far. Despite their back and forth snark, or maybe even because of it, he thought Benny might actually be a good friend. The astronaut certainly seemed willing enough to put all their less pleasant previous encounters behind him, and wasn’t treating him at all different from anyone else. Benny was quite likely the first person he’d ever encountered in his entire life, aside from his parents, to simply accept him for who he was without some ulterior motive.
There was an odd, muffled chirping filling the air, and Benny let out a sound of surprise before stripping his gloves off and fishing inside a sleeve to pull out what looked like a really old flip phone. “Hello?” he answered, and paused to listen. “That sounds great, actually! Mind if I bring Bad Cop along?”
“What? Ben, no-”
“Awesome, we’ll be right there!” He snapped the old cell phone shut, beaming at the cop. “Emmet says the absolute best pizza place in town is still running, so we’re gonna do lunch! Come on!”
“I seriously question Emmet’s opinion on this matter,” Bad Cop grumbled as Benny dragged him along. “I doubt he’s ever been any place that’s not a chain restaurant.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s gonna be terrible, come on!”
“Forgive me for not quite having your sense of adventure.” But he didn’t protest any further- at least, not until they actually got to the little hole in the wall pizzeria (and boy was Bad Cop surprised it wasn’t a chain restaurant) and he saw President Business through the glass windows. He slammed on the brakes, and Benny yelped as he was jerked back at the sudden stop.
“Dude, what- Oh.” There was a vice-like grip on the astronaut’s wrist, prying his hand away from Bad Cop’s arm. Benny frowned, rubbing at the sore skin.
“I’m not going in there, not with him around,” Bad Cop snarled, turning on his heel and stalking away. Benny fretted for a moment, glancing back and forth between his friends and the cop as he tried to come to a decision. Emmet caught his gaze through the glass and gave him a questioning look. He held up a finger in a classic ‘wait a minute’ gesture, and went after the cop.
“Come on, man, he tried to kill us too,” Benny argued, “but we’re trying to move past that.”
“It’s not just that he left me for dead,” Bad Cop growled, not slowing down in the slightest. “It’s what he did to Good Cop, it’s what he made me do to my own parents.”
I hope there’s still a Good Cop in me somewhere…
Benny felt his stomach churn at the memory. The elation of finally being allowed to build a spaceship had overshadowed it then, but looking back on it now, he could only feel sick as he realized just what Bad Cop had meant. “B,” he said softly, “how is Good Cop? I feel like such an idiot for only thinking about it now, but… he hasn’t been out since we beat President Business yesterday, is that even normal?”
Bad Cop paused at the nickname, and the genuine concern in the spaceman’s voice. “He’s weak,” he answered gruffly. “And a lot more cautious who he lets his guard down around, now.”
“Can’t say I blame him,” Benny mumbled. “Could I talk to him?”
“…Maybe another time, he’s not feeling up to it right now. Ben, go have lunch with your friends. Don’t worry about me, I can look after myself.”
Benny stuck his bottom lip out at the cop. “I’m gonna worry about you anyway, but fine. Guess you’ll just have to miss out on the best pizza in Bricksburg.”
“It’ll still be there tomorrow, I’m sure.” Bad Cop shooed him away with a smirk. “Just don’t forget to actually come back when you’re done.”
“Aww, I knew you’d miss me!”
“Shut up, Ben.”
“Oh my stars I love your parents,” Benny gushed once they left Studsboro. Alastar laughed. “I mean it! They’re so sweet!”
Ma had refused to let them leave until she had made sure they had more than enough food for the trip. Pa had walked with them to the edge of town, giving his sons an update on all that was going on in the area. “Mind yourselves once you get up ‘round the inlet. We heard rumors about a year ago that a tribe of hekets moved into the swamps north of Ashton. From the sounds of things, they’re not very friendly.” Alastar thanked their father, gave him one last hug, and stepped beyond the town walls.
“So what’s a heket?” Benny asked after a few minutes. “I’ve never heard of them before.”
Alastar hummed thoughtfully as he tried to figure out how to explain them. “Imagine a frog that can stand and walk on its hind legs, and comes up about to your chin,” he said.
Benny tilted his head as he tried to picture that. “They sound kind of weird,” he decided after a minute, earning a chuckle from his companion. “Are they usually hostile?”
“Not usually, no. It depends on the tribe. We used to have one living near here that we were on pretty friendly terms with, but they left a while ago. They must have known this other tribe was moving into the area, and decided it was better to pack up and leave before their hand was forced. They didn’t much like confrontation.”
“That’s kind of sad,” Benny murmured. “So how do they usually fight?” He shrugged when Alastar gave him a strange look. “If it turns out we can’t avoid them, it would be better to know what to expect so we can defend ourselves, right?”
“I suppose,” Alastar sighed. “Their favored weapons are spears and harpoons, and they sometimes use bows too. Magic on occasion, though not many of them have the gift for it. One of their favorite tactics is to jump up into the air—I’ve seen some clear twenty feet—and then crash back down on their victims. And they’re solid muscle. It would be a miracle if your spine didn’t snap from that kind of sudden pressure.”
Benny grimaced and shuddered at the mental image that description brought up. “That sounds entirely unpleasant.”
“Very much,” Alastar agreed. “You have to admit though, it’s a very effective tactic.”
“As long as their target doesn’t know to expect it and have a sword waiting for them,” Benny quipped. Alastar snorted back a laugh.
“No, I suppose it wouldn’t be a very wise decision then.”
They made camp for the night. Benny spent an hour giving the twins another magic lesson before they went to sleep, and they reached Tiletown by noon the next day. Cary and Benny wasted no time in asking around about Vitruvius. It was much the same as they had heard in Studsboro—that he had passed through, was planning on continuing on to Ashton, and no one had heard from him since.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he was waylaid by those hekets,” a town guard said upon being questioned. “We’ve had people go missing. Ashton and Conehurst too, even as far as Milltown. We thought maybe they were killing people to get a point across, that this is their territory now, but we never find any bodies. A few guards from here and the other towns have tried to look into it, but none of them ever came back. Same with the two or three knights that came out here from the capital, and then Vitruvius. If I were you, I’d give it up as a lost cause.”
They rented a room at the inn for the night, and after supper, retreated to their room to discuss their plans going forward. “Maybe that guard was right,” Benny sighed. “If no one else has come back, not even Vitruvius, the odds are pretty stacked against us, too.”
“Let’s get to Ashton first before we make that call,” Cary suggested. “Someone there might know more about the situation. Maybe he did return, and just never left. Either way, I wouldn’t write him off just yet. If a volcano couldn’t kill him, I doubt a tribe of heket would manage it either.”
“A volcano??” Benny laughed in disbelief. “I’ve never heard that story before. What happened?”
Cary smirked. “Well, as the story goes, he went to the island past Old West in search of some rare and powerful crystals that only grow in the volcano there, trying to get to them before some rival of his could find them and misuse them. His rival arrived to find him already there, and was so mad that Vitruvius beat him to them that he knocked him off the ledge he was harvesting the crystals from. Unfortunately the crystals were lost, and caused the volcano to blow when they fell into the lava. This other wizard returns to Middle Zealand, spinning some yarn about how it’s ‘such a tragic loss’ that the crystals and Vitruvius are gone. Two weeks later Vitruvius shows up in town, not a single hair on his head singed. His rival never lived it down.”
Benny fell back on his bed, gasping for air as he cackled. “Oh my stars, I wish I could have been there to see that!”
Cary chuckled. “I can only imagine how entertaining it must have been to witness.”
“I wonder how he survived falling into the volcano like that…”
“You’ll have to ask him when we find him.”
Benny was still giggling about it as he fell asleep. He’d never had the pleasure of meeting Vitruvius, but now he couldn’t wait to do so. The wizard sounded like such a character.
They didn’t stick around in Tiletown very long after waking, taking just enough time to eat breakfast before hitting the road again. Ashton wasn’t much further away, not quite half a day’s walk to reach.
Their investigation proved a little more fruitful once they arrived in Ashton. As Cary had suspected, the townspeople there had a few more answers. Vitruvius had indeed left to try to handle the heket matter, and had never come back.
“I don’t advise going after him,” they were told. “There have been enough people lost to those creatures over the past year. Don’t add to their numbers.”
Cary, of course, wasn’t to be deterred. Especially not after someone had let slip that the heket village was in the middle of the lake between Ashton and Conehurst. Benny followed as Cary left town once more. “You’re actually going through with it then?” he pressed.
“You don’t think we can take them?”
Benny took a moment to think it over. He’d never so much as seen a heket before, but the twins clearly had some experience with them. Enough that Cary was pretty confident that they would get back out of there alive, and with Vitruvius. “All right,” he finally agreed. “Sounds like fun! What’s the plan?”
“How good are your illusions? Think you could hide a boat in the middle of a lake?”
Benny hummed as he thought. “Us and the boat? No problem. Hiding the ripples will take a bit more doing, but I think I can manage. Where do you plan on getting a boat, though? I mean I’m pretty sure you don’t have one hiding in your pack.”
Cary chuckled. “We’ll ‘borrow’ one of their canoes. I’m not very familiar with this area, but they’re bound to have a hunting party out. You hide us so we can approach without being seen, and I’ll use my bow to take out any sentries.”
“I don’t know how big this lake is, but I can only hold an illusion like that for a few minutes. They’ll see us eventually. What then?”
“You’re a battlemage. You must know some sort of offensive spell that can cover a large area. Although preferably one that won’t use up too much energy.”
Benny conceded the point with a shrug. He knew several, in fact. “And you?”
“I’ve got my sword, and the handful of spells you’ve taught us so far. With at least some of the hunters gone, there won’t be as much of a fight. And once we find Vitruvius, he should be able to help too.”
Benny nodded. “We better not waste any more time then.”
“Follow me, and don’t speak. Try to move like I do. There’s no telling where that hunting party could be, and I’d rather not alert them to our presence.” Benny nodded his understanding and made a motion as if he was locking his lips, giving Cary a smile. He watched in amazement as Cary stalked ahead, quiet as a cat on the prowl, and winced as his own footfalls crunched dead leaves and twigs with every step. Cary glanced back at him. “Watch where I step,” he spoke quietly. Benny paid close attention as Cary nearly tiptoed across the forest floor, somehow finding places to put his feet that held little debris to make noise with. He began to follow again, this time with more success. He couldn’t hold back his ecstatic grin. He’d get the hang of it yet!
Finally they reached the edge of the lake. The ground was muddy, slowing their progress as Cary looked for places to put their feet that wouldn’t leave deep footprints behind. Benny was doubly glad that he’d gotten a pair of boots for this journey—the mud would have pulled any shoes right off of his feet. They painstakingly made their way around, and after an hour, they finally spotted a pair of canoes. Benny held back a sigh of relief. Cary gestured for him to climb in first, then pushed the canoe off the shore and into the water, hopping in after him. Benny wasted no time in casting an illusion to hide them as Cary grabbed the oars and began to row toward the island they could just see through the mangroves.
Cary handed him the oars as they began to draw near, taking his bow from his back and drawing a few arrows. Benny hardly dared to breathe as one sentry standing atop the mud wall toppled over, then another. He slowly steered them around the island, looking for a good place to ground the canoe as Cary continued to shoot down lookouts. By now the village was alert, knowing that something was shooting down their sentries, though no matter how much they looked, they could see nothing.
Cary hopped out once the canoe hit dirt, pulling it aground and helping Benny out. “They’ll see the boat as soon as we get just a few steps away from it,” the mage whispered. “Are you ready?”
“I was born ready. Let’s move.”
Some were painted in May……
Hey y’all! I thought I should make a post explaining my AU and what’s happened to Ezra/Scribblecop in it, just because why not? So here is a messy timeline of events! This is a weird hodgepodge of info dumping, and fanfiction, so you have been warned.
PS!! This is heavily based on an amazing ((and sadly unfinished)) gcbc fanfic I’ve read, and I would’ve asked the og writer permission to use this storyline in my AU, but they have , since deleted their socials (other than discord), and when I looked them up on discord they had fully disappeared. Here is the fic in question, I encourage that you read it before you read this!
So full credit for the basic plot goes to them, and I’ve made a few tweaks and fleshed out the story more here and there, but I felt I had to give explicit credit to them for the ideas. (and Ezra as a name for scribble cop!)
So. Takos Tuesday has happened. Gc and bc are still recovering, and trying to make amends for the trouble they caused. They are no longer switching using the two faces, instead they now have clip-on sunglasses to switch between GC and bc. Emmet and the other masterbuilders crew have assembled a team of volunteers (including gc and bc) to help rebuild and repair the city!
Emmet has even gotten them out of trouble with the law a bit- giving them a deal that says they won’t have to go to jail, if they get mandated therapy, and 18 or so months of volunteering/service. They still have to go to court, but they both agree it’s better than being arrested. Gc and bc agree happily, and keep going to the volunteer meetings.
(Btw, president business has the same deal given to him. Emmet says it’s in the name of fairness. Baby boy has good intentions, but he is kinda naïve.)
Things are going great! Until they aren’t.
(Btw in my AU president business is an AWFUL person. I know that in canon he has a bit of a redemption arc, and in some rp blogs on here he is not the worst person, but in this universe he feels no real remorse for the things he did. *yet*.)
President business also attends the volunteer meetings, although he is always late by half an hour or more, and doesn’t seem to care. And one day he sits right next to GcBc.
(Okay, another side tangent! In the og fic I was inspired by, gcbc and ez have DID. I do not have DID. So I am very nervous to write a character with DID, because I’d hate to offend someone. That being said, I’m going to face my fears of hurting someone’s feelings, and try my best, so if I get anything horribly wrong IM SO SORRY, PLEASE CORRECT ME.)
At this point in time Ezra has not fully made himself know to gcbc. He didn’t really exist before takos Tuesday (because as I understand it, personalities/alters can sorta just appear after a traumatic enough experience? It’s just that DID can only start in people younger than 9ish?) so gcbc have no idea he’s now sharing a body with them.
Ezra was “created” (or whatever youd call it) by the traumatic event where Gc got his face erased, and essentially got put into a coma.
Because of this, president business is a trigger for Ezra, and when he sees him, he automatically comes to the front/is in control.
But GCBC DONT KNOW THAT YET. So, when business comes into a meeting (late as per usual) and sits down right next to gcbc, Ezra (who everyone thinks is GC btw!!) starts giving him a death glare. This prompts business to start teasing and messing with “GC”, and causes “GC” to lash out verbally back.
Lucy is having none of their sh*t, so she breaks them up, but when the actual GC comes into a meeting the next week, he gets pulled aside and asked by Metalbeard to either grow up and stop messing with business, or leave the meetings, and GC says that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Metalbeard doesn’t believe him, but let’s him off with a harsh warning.
(yeah, I know that sounds harsh, but the masterbuilders are kinda mean at the start, and get a redemption later.).
Time skip because after that nothing seems to happen, business isn’t sitting right next to the cops, so the problem seems to be solved! Gcbc visit their parents, who are recovering in the hospital (pa copp had his leg amputated btw) (inspo for that from this fic.)
Poor GC and bc seem to be disassociating more often, and things seem to be moving around their house that the both swear they didn’t move, but they just brush it off, because they’re both doing too well at the moment to worry about it.
Ezra is, of course, the one moving stuff, and the one who was fighting with business, but after the warning from Metalbeard, he quiets down. The next time he takes over, he finds a journal in their apartment. It’s an old one, before Vitruvius’ prophecy kinda old, and it just has some back-and-fourth messages from GC and bc when they were fronting alone, years before they worked for octan.
He decides to write something in it, and a day later GC and bc find it, and are UNDERSTANDABLY VERY CONFUSED. But they don’t know what else to do, so they just write back.
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“Hello. Is anyone reading this?”
“Yep! who is this??”
Two days later they get a reply:
“I don’t know.”
“Well who is writing this then?”
“I don’t know. Someone.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And that was that. They tried to get more of a response, but the mysterious writer stopped replying.
Ezra, I’m reality, was having an existential crisis, (You would to if you didn’t know who you were!), and was very worried when, two days to the court date he found out that they had to appear in court.
Why was he worried? 1. The poor guy doesn’t know why he has to go to court/what he did, 2. Business is going to be there, 3. He’s worried that the mandatory therapist will try to “cure him” by getting rid of him. Ezra is going through it in this fic.
Anyways, one more meeting happens before the court date, and as per usual, business is being an asshat. He decides to cause trouble. One more time he decides to mess with “GC” Ezra, and surprisingly, ez doesn’t react. Doesn’t respond. He’s too busy planning Business’ death.
Not kidding! Ezra tried to kill business. Just like the masterbuilders though, he has his redemption arc too. But for now… Ezra goes to business’ new, much smaller, office, the night before the court date. The old octan tower is mostly dismantled, and in ruins. Slowly being cleaned up, and taken away, piece by piece.
Ezra, pretending to be GC, gets business to come down to the front desk, where he explains to at he’s “tired of being a goody two shoes” and wants to run off with business. He doesn’t though, but business doesn’t know that. So he eagerly says yes.
Cut to the abandoned octan tower. “GC” says he wants to pick some stuff up before they flee the country, and business agrees, foolishly following him inside. Here’s where Ezra’s plan gets a bit.. not thought out on his part (ah yes, phantom, blame it on your characters not your writing!👍🏾)
Once business is inside, Ezra goes up to the buildings controls centre, it’s a very high tech place, so he can just press a button and lock all the doors in the building. No exit means no where to run. He finds an old blaster that still works, and sets fire to a few things with it: the emergency exit, the car they used to get there (through the emergency exits door, before he shoots that), and the controls centre itself.
Business may be a bad guy, but he’s certainly not stupid. He very quickly and correctly deduces what’s going on, and tries desperately to find a way out. (During all this, the masterbuilders have heard that business is apparently missing, and so is gcbc, so they visit the office building, and some other places to try and figure out what’s going on.)
This all culminates in Business disarming Ezra, and shooting him in the left leg. Ezra manages to outrun business long enough to make him temporarily loose his trail, and hides in the relic room. Business finds him, and Ezra admits defeat. Relics all around them, and Ezra backed into the desk at the back wall, sitting on the floor.
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“Just kill me.”
“What?”
“Just kill me! I know you want to, and you know there’s no way out of this anyways, so what’s the point?”
“…”
Business shrugs and picks up the sceptre.
“NO!- NO. Please. Not with that. Not with THAT! Use the blaster!!”
Ezra pleads. Business is in total shock. After all those years of working with GC and bc, business learned a little bit about how they work, and while pondering the situation, something clicks in his mind.
“…I’m… not.. talking to good cop, OR bad cop, right now… am I?”
“Took you long enough.” Ezra spits.
“Well who are you?”
“I’d rather you just kill me.”
“I’d rather know who I’m killing first.”
“….. I’m not fully sure who I am.” Ezra chokes on a stifled sob.
“Well what’s your name?”
“…I wanted it to be “Ezra” but now I’m not so sure about that..”
“Why not?..”
“It means protector.. and I dunno if you’ve noticed, but so far I’ve done a sh*t job o’ that.”
Business chuckles.
“Well, I think Ezra suits you.”
“Thanks.”
Silence. Then Business speaks again.
“This- All of this. It’s my fault isn’t it?”
“No kidding.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Okay? Why should I care? Am I supposed to forgive you?
“Well… isn’t that how it works?”
Ezra laughs tiredly. This psycho doesn’t even know how an apology works? Yeah, that tracks.
“No! No! That’s- of course that’s not how it works. You think that just because you say a few words, shake a few hands, and “pinkie swear you won’t do it ever again” that’s supposed to make things BETTER?!” Ezra screams. Business doesn’t reply, only snaps his head up to look at him, in response.
“You destroyed hundreds- no, THOUSANDS of lives, FORCED US to kill hundreds of innocent people, put my brother or whoever he is- IN A COMA. And after all that, you just say “sorry”? You are a sociopath. A crazy, irresponsible, cruel, evil, sociopath.”
Business simply stands there for a moment, Taking in Ezra’s words.
“….I’m not gonna kill you y’know.”
“Why not? It’d be better than jail for attempted murder.”
“Well…… you deserve better than this. I’m not killing you.”
“Fine! Let the fire and smoke kill us then.”
“Well we could try and get out of here?”
“Nope, I blocked the exits.”
“A window might work.”
“You shot my leg, I couldn’t land.”
“Well-“
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Masterbuilders to the rescue!!!!!! They finally figured out what was happening, and where they formerly evil pair (trio?) were. One spaceship building sequence later (thanks Benny) and they were off to the hospital for gcbc’s leg and to give business a check up.
On the very awkward ride over, business explained the very little info he had figured out, about Ezra and everything. The builders were confused, but nodded and smiled, thinking that business was talking crazy. Ezra had passed out due to the blood loss.
At the hospital, when gc and bc wake up, they are quite confused. Why was there a gunsh*t in their leg? And why were they here? And why were all the masterbuilders here? And why was Business here? A lot of understandable questions. Unfortunately for gcbc, Lucy didn’t think so.
Lucy is (like everyone except Business) going to get her redemption arc, but you can’t write a story without something driving the plot so..
Lucy thinks that gcbc were completely faking when they told Metalbeard they didn’t confront Business at the meeting, and that this is the same situation. As far as she knows, the only people in gcbcs body are GC and bc, and she’s not even sure if they are really two different people and not one who acts differently sometimes (go easy on her, she’s just very uneducated on personality disorders and stuff)
Lucy very loudly voices this, that she thinks they are faking and using the “we’re not the same person” thing as an excuse to do dumb stuff, just as Gcbc’s parents walk in.
Gc takes over, and (as calmly as he can) explains why Lucy is VERY WRONG and gives a 3ish minute crash course on DID to the builders. Then asks them to get the hell out of their hospital room. After a talk with their parents, they go home with them. (ma and pa live fairly close to gcbc, and are now both discharged from the hospital.).
The copp family happily goes home, and gcbc are sitting on their old bed, in their childhood room. After some conversation between GC and bc, they hear another voice in their head. Ezra says he’s sorry, and admits he definitely didn’t think that through, and GC and bc comfort him a bit.
Later in the morning (it’s morning now, because the incident that just happened, happened at night), Ma cop says she made some breakfast, and the boys leave their room. Pa is sitting at the dining table with a laminated piece of paper, a blank piece of paper, and an old mug filled with pens and pencils.
Ezra, Good Cop, and Bad Cop (who are all co-fronting at this point, aka their are all sharing control), sit down, and GC and bc instantly recognize the laminated paper.
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Gc: “Oh my goodness. Is that?-“
“Yes it is! Found it in my office.”
Bc: “Good lord, dad, you had that thing laminated?”
“For to the memories! Besides, it’s comin in handy now isn’t it?”
Ez: “Um…. What is that?”
“Oh- it’s just something the boys did when they were younger.”
At that moment, Ma (who had been listening to the conversation), walked in and answered the question Pa technically hadn’t.
“When the boys were younger, me an’ Pa were both very busy working all the time. And while Daniel was only ever alone for about 10 minutes before one of us came home from a shift- ten minutes was all my awful sister, their aunt, needed to call cps on me. They got put in a very awful foster home while me and Pa fought tooth-and-nail to get them back, and that’s when they got Dissociative Identity Disorder.. The poor dears were only seven at the time..” Ma paused to let him catch up, then continued.
“When they got back home to us, and after their diagnosis, they decided in order to get to know each other, they would both write down questions for one another, and us, on that piece of paper, and then we’d reply to them. Daniel uses the black pen, Danny blue, Pa green, and me red.“
Ezra nodded, taking in the information.
“So that’s when they split?”
“Yep. Went into the situation with one son, came out of it with two!” Pa joked.
“And although the ordeal was unfortunate, we are a bit thankful for it. I couldn’t imagine not having Danny here today!”
Ezra thought some more.
“So, Daniel came first then? Like- he was the host so to speak?”
“Yep!” The parents replied in unison.
“Er… and, who is Daniel again?”
Ezra got his answer in the form of four answers, all at the same time.
“Me. I’m Daniel.”
Gc: “You’ll have probably heard him be called Bad Cop. He’s very nice though buddy!”
Ma: “One of our sons. The “Bad One”.”
Pa: “That’s Bad Cop, lad. Danny is Good Cop.”
“Ah. Okay..” Everything was quiet for a moment, and then Ma spoke up.
“So, er, whom do we have the pleasure of speaking to?”
“…Ezra.”
“Well, welcome to the copp family Ezra.” Pa said.
“Thank you… uh, not to sound rude or anything but.. you guys don’t… hate me..Y’know, for the attempted murder thing..?” Ezra said cautiously. Both cops glanced at each other, and then back at Ezra. They looked like they had just seen a puppy get killed.
“Oh heavens no, dear!! We both know it’s hard to deal with. Poor Danny was very mixed up when he first “woke up”.” Ma looked very reassuring, and suddenly Ezra got the urge to hug her. But he didn’t.
“So…” pa starts.
“D’you want to do the questions thing?”
Ezra, Danny, and Daniel respond with an enthusiastic yes, with Ezra assigning himself an orange pen.
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As promised, this story has a happy ending. After Lucy’s mistake in the hospital, Benny (who has hyper fixated on different disorders including did, and knows a bunch about it) was very disappointed in the group, and gave them all a big infodump about it.
After the whole ordeal came out to the judge, the court date got pushed back. So, two weeks of recovering, and family bonding later, the cops entered the court room.
(I’ve written all of this in ONE DAY and am getting kinda tired of writing, so imma make the rest of the story pretty quick)
Good cop, bad cop, and Ezra thankfully don’t get in trouble for trying to kill business. The court figured that because Ezra didn’t actually SUCCEED in killing him, they’d just call it a lesson in karma for lord business and leave it at that.
(Yes I know that’s very inaccurate to what would happen irl, but this is a fanfiction based on a ten year old movie about LEGOS so I’m not exactly going for accuracy here.)
Lord/President Business is sent to jail instead of mandated therapy, partly because he agreed to run away with gcbc (the masterbuilders got video evidence from the office’s security camera) and partly because idk man I’m tired and because I said so.
After they get their sentences or whatever, the masterbuilders all come to apologize to gcbcsc, Lucy and Metalbeard especially. Benny invites the cops out for lunch with the masterbuilders (slight coppernaughts??) and they say yes. More apologies are said at lunch, for takos Tuesday, and for not being more supportive of the cops during the meetings and stuff like that, and all of them agree to start over as friends, and both parties agree to try and make amends for the past.
The end!
See? I told you this had a happy ending! Sorry this got rushed at the end, and I’m also sorry if this is hard to read/unclear? I tried. Also, if you made it this far: HOLY CRAP THANK YOU FOR READING ALL OF THIS. I DEFINITELY WROTE TOO MUCH. But who cares!!!
Anyways, I’m gonna take a nap now. Bye!