Here’s a Beetlejuice Beetlejuice fanfic/chatfic and headcannons I wrote because I was bored and the ghost characters need more recognition (minor spoilers for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice)
BEETLEJUICE CHATFIC AND CHARACTER HEADCANNONS
BeetleJuice BeetleJuice character headcannons! (Also don’t mind all the super smash bros headcannons, I was watching Blake jennings “what your main in smash says about you” while I made these):
Wolf Jackson the movie star:
◦ Has MAJOR former theatre kid vibes, like he totally had a Hamilton phase and watched Cats ATLEAST once just to make fun of it, but he ended up secretly kinda liking the songs from it.
◦ Wont admit to even HAVING a favourite superhero, but it’s totally Spider Noir
◦ Says he mains someone like Snake in smash, but he actually mains Isabelle, jigglepuff, or The duck hunt dog and he somehow wins EVERY TIME HE PLAYS SMASH because he’s good at spam pressing buttons.
◦ Good at claw machines for some reason. A strange hidden talent, but he probs brags about it every chance he gets (which isn’t often but still)
◦ Everyone thinks/assumes he’s straight and probs bangin his secretary/the girl who brings him coffee (idk if she’s actually his secretary) but then he’ll casually insert “my boyfriend” or “this guy I’m seeing” into a conversation and the whole room is shocked.
◦ Knuckle cracker.
◦ When he’s sad infront of other people he hides his emotions and says he’s fine, but when he’s sad at home alone, he curls up with a bunch of blankets and binge watches all the movies he stared in when he was alive. Only his secretary(?) knows this.
◦ Drinks coffee (obviously) but also likes iced teas. Can on rare occasions be seen wandering around with an Arizona Tea can in hand.
◦ Ocean from RTC vibes. Like he doesn’t really mean to be rude, but he also has a habit of thinking he’s better than most people around him.
◦ That same way that I walk into any store and when I wanna get something I tell myself “I can make that at home.” He watches ANY action movie (especially ones with cgi or heavy effects) and says/thinks “I could’ve done that MYSELF, WITHOUT special affects.”
Bob:
◦ Chronically tired
◦ Under-appreciated-employee-core. Wherever he works in the neitherworld would not FUNCTION without him, but no one who works with him would recognize this until he put in his two weeks notice.
◦ A pushover. I hate to say it, but this man DIED (double died ig?) for a ghost who didn’t deserve that amount of loyalty and Bob probably knows it. He knew Beetlejuice wasn’t worth sacrificing that much for but he did it anyways because he is a pushover.
◦ My general headcannon for all the “tiny head” people in the Beetlejuice franchise is that they can speak telepathically to people, but most either choose not to, or don’t know that they can do it. Bob chooses not to because whenever he does (on rare occasions) it freaks out everyone who’s ever known him and he finds it hilarious.
◦ Current theatre kid. Has all of Heathers memorized. Could sing most RTC songs and says “this is all your fault Jafar” and “youre FUCKIN useless Paul” in his head or under his breath EVERY DAY.
◦ Once played Smash with Wolf Jackson and absolutely HATED the fact that Wolf won every time without really trying. But also Bob mains wii fit trainer, toon link or Kirby because I said so.
◦ Coffee drinker, but also gives off “DO NOT FILL UP A “SUPER BIG GULP” CUP WITH 5-HOUR ENERGY AND CHUG THE WHOLE THING” vibes. He is WIRED.
Harry the hunter:
◦ Bobs uncle who died at around the same age as Bob so that’s why they look the same age/look like the same person.
◦ BESTIES with Ms Argentina
◦ Likes Delores because he hates Beetlejuice and wishes she successfully killed him, but also dislikes her because she killed Bob
◦ Bob is chronically tired but gets a good nights sleep most nights. Harry is an insomniac night owl who stays up until 1:00 in the morning rewatching Over the garden wall or Wall E for the 1000th time even though he KNOWS has to get up at 5:00am that morning.
◦ Only drinks tea or water.
◦ Mostly uses ASL or writing on notepads to communicate (same with Bob)
◦ Bob is the type of employee to work more than he should and do extra stuff and overtime etc. because he thinks people will like him more or atleast he’ll get some benefit from it right? Harry is the employee who knows you should just do your job and leave because no one will care if you do more than that so don’t waste your time.
◦ Just like Bob, he is a theatre kid. And he totally got Ms Argentina into musicals too.
◦
Ms Argentina:
◦ a HARDCORE SIMP for Delores. Like “she could suck my soul out of my body and in my last moments I’d THANK HER” kinda simp (same tho)
◦ WILL THROW HER HEELS AT YOU IF YOU PISS HER OFF (Bob, Wolf Jackson, Beetlejuice, AND EVEN Delores ALL learned this the hard way.)
◦ Mains Daisy in smash because they both have Loud-Lesbian energy
◦ Her nickname is Tina and her real name is Valentina, but ONLY Harry and Delores can call her Tina or her real full first name.
◦ SOMEHOW managed to get Delores to go on a date with her, and now they’re dating. Beetlejuice still has no idea how Tina pulled that off.
◦ Tina gives me tea or coffee drinker vibes, but part of me thinks she sometimes puts vodka in her tea and/or coffee
◦ Because Harry got her to like musicals, she totally got her girlfriend into musicals too
I’ll probably make a chatfic based on the musical and cartoon, but this one is based on the movies
Astrid has created a groupchat
Astrid has added: Lydia Deetz, Richard Deetz, Charles Deetz, and Delia Deetz
Astrid has named the groupchat “💜the Deetz family💜”
Astrid: hi! For those who are bad with tech *cough cough, grandpa* this is a groupchat, “gc” for short. It’s like texting but with multiple people in one text conversation.
Charles Deetz: Thanks kiddo, I was confused!
Richard Deetz: hey! This seems fun!
Lydia Deetz: OMG RICHARD?!
Richard Deetz: Hello Lyds!
Delia Deetz: omg Richard! Hi!
Charles Deetz: hello!
Richard Deetz: hi everyone!
~in a different groupchat~
“Work only” groupchat
Richard: my daughter just added me to a family groupchat 🥰
Bob: nice.
Argentina: omg fun!! My family is still alive.
Bob: So is his, Argentina?
Argentina: oh. OH. How the hell does that work?
Richard: I’ve learned not to question things like that a looooooooooooooooooooong time ago.
Argentina: that’s fair.
Wolf: my family has been hiding from me 😅
Harry: why?
Wolf: because ~~🏳️🌈~~
Harry: ah. SERIOUSLY?
Wolf: yeah. They only found out last thanksgiving tho. I was at my Mothers house (she is dead, to clarify) and I mentioned I was seeing a guy, and they DID NOT LIKE THAT LET ME TELL YA
Harry: OMFG XD RELATABLE
Harry: Bob is the only family member of mine I know who will talk to me
Bob: to be fair, only about half of our family is actually DEAD?
Harry: yeah. But if Astrid can add her dad to a family gc then don’t you think they might just not be *trying*?
Bob: that’s fair.
Richard: ANYWAYS, I was thinking maybe I should make a gc with you guys AND my family in it so you guys can be introduced to each other!
Argentina: sure!
Wolf: okay.
Bob: 👍
Harry: 👍
Richard: yay! Okay brb
Richard Deetz has made a groupchat
Richard Deetz had added: Astrid Deetz, Lydia Deetz, Charles Deetz, Delia Deetz, Ms Argentina, Wolf Jackson, Bob, and Harry
Richard Deetz has named the groupchat “friends and family”
Harry: I love how apparently me and Bob are just “Harry” and “Bob” and everyone else has some form of last name XD
Bob: omg yeah, I didn’t even notice that! Rude.
Richard: well to be fair, you never told me your last name(s?)
Harry: and I still won’t. It’s still funny tho
Richard: 🙄 alr
Astrid: Dad?! Who are these people?
Richard: my coworkers! Thought I’d introduce you guys
Harry: just “coworkers”? Ouch Rich
Richard: oh hush 😑
Harry: 🤭 k
Astrid: cooooool. Hey.
Bob: hey.
Astrid: OMG @Delia @Lydia @Charles, I forgot to mention I auditioned for my school musical lmao
Lydia: WHAT! And you didn’t tell me? Thats awesome!
Delia: Omg wow!!! You’ll be amazing!
Charles: nice kiddo!
Harry: OMG WHAT MUSICAL IS IT?
Astrid: HAHAHAHA I was NOT expecting that reaction from @Harry
Argentina: he looks very intimidating irl but he’s the biggest FREAKIN NERD YOULL EVER MEET I PROMISE-
Harry: RUDE! But Fr- what musical?
Astrid: Heathers.
Harry: AT A HIGHSCHOOL? Damn
Astrid: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT! But I auditioned anyways for fun.
Harry: so did the cast list come out yet?
Astrid: yeah! I’m gonna be Veronica!!!!!!!
Harry: OMG AWESOME!! I would love to play JD, but I died before even the MOVIE was made, so I’ll never get the chance sadly.
Astrid: DAMN, that’s tough.
Argentina: WOMP WOMP
Astrid: HHAHAHAHAHAHHA WOMP WOMP
Harry: >:O
Lydia: You got a part!!! That’s amazing! When’s opening night???
Richard: yeah! You might not see me in the audience, but I’ll be there!!!
Astrid: it’s in October but rehearsal hasn’t even started yet, I’ll let you know when I know!
Delia: let me know too!
Harry: no offence Delia, but have you SEEN Heathers?? I feel like if ghosts can be unconscious, it would send you into a COMA. With Dead Girl Walking ALONE
Astrid: DEAD GIRL WALKING? She’d be out before Big Fun ends XD
Harry: fair point!
Charles: I know that what you two are typing is technically words, but I understand NONE OF THEM
Harry: that’s also fair XD Poor Charles
Wolf Jackson: I know what the words mean! And your right, Delia would be sent into a coma by that show. Movie OR musical
Argentina: one word: Blue.
Wolf: OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT THAT SONG
Harry: “FORGOT”? I PURPOSEFULLY BLOCK THAT SONG OUT OF MY MEMORY MAN
Richard: oh god what have I started with creating this gc
Lydia: clearly this is a Pandora’s box of chaos you’ve created and opened, Rich
Richard: yeah…….whoops…
~hours later~
Astrid: weird question but raise a digital hand if your 🏳️🌈 (no pressure to answer I just want info for a project)
Harry: me!!
Bob: does bi count?
Astrid: yes it does
Bob: cool
Wolf: *slowly raises hand*
Astrid: FR? No offence but I would NOT have guessed that
Wolf: no one ever does 🤫
Argentina: OO OO OO ME!!!
Argentina: wait- can I add my girlfriend to the gc?
Astrid: YESS DO IT
Argentina: okay!!!
Argentina added Delores to the groupchat
Wolf: WAIT YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS DELORES??? THE SOULSUCKER?!
Argentina: yeahhhh 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Delores: hello…? What’s this?
Astrid: a groupchat!
Delores: I’m not sure what that is, but alright?
Bob: ………. Argentina why would you do this to me.
Argentina: OMFG I FORGOT BOB IM SO SORRY
Astrid: wait what? What happened? And what’s a “soulsucker”?
Delores: basically a ghost that can kill other ghosts. And that’s what I am
Astrid: but wouldn’t that not work because they’re already DEAD?
Delores: nope.
Bob: Astrid, you learn not to question stuff like this after a while of being dead or knowing someone in the neitherworld. Nothing makes sense here. (Also Delores almost killed me)
Argentina: yet another reason to NOT KILL YOURSELF 😃
Astrid: noted! Wasn’t planning on it, but good motivation! 😃😃
Wolf: god you people are insane.
Delia: agreed.
Lydia: you both say “you people” like you aren’t a part of this family/friend group. Bad news: YOU ARE PART OF THE “YOU PEOPLE”
Delores: I think I’ll like you people a lot.
Lydia: you tried to kill 🪲🧃 so I definitely like you girl.
Delores: 🥰omg you you want his moldy ass double dead too?!
Lydia: he tried to marry me AT 16 YEARS OLD so yeah definitely
Delores: I’m from an era where thats pretty normal, but I’m gonna assume that’s not normal and bad in the future??
Lydia: yeah it’s bad and gross. Also the year is currently 2024 btw
Delores: thank you! Damn I was in those boxes for a long time wasn’t I?
Argentina: yes you were
Wolf: and you were TECHNICALLY supposed to STAY THERE
Delores: my girlfriend has advised me to reply to that with “womp womp”? I’m not sure what that mean but I hope it has its intended affect.
Bob: WOLF JUST KICKED HIS TRASHCAN SO HARD IT MADE A DENT IN THE WALL HOLY SHIT
Bob: update: I have just read the previous texts. Yes Delores it DID have its intended affect! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Delores: oh good!!! 😀
Wolf: NO! NOT GOOD. I don’t like you! Mean lesbian!!!!
Astrid: “MEAN LESBIAN” OMG 😆
Richard: what is HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?
Richard: omg I jus read the last few texts, that is pretty funny Wolf
Lydia: 😮 🤭 yeah I’m with Rich on this one, that’s pretty funny honestly
Wolf: I hate you all /ns
