10 reasons why FP is kinda hot
Kinda nothing. FP is hot.
FP's so desperate. He's a desperate man all the time. The passion borne of desperately wanting things, one after the other, is hot.
He was gifted with powerful prettiness that not even hard living, alcohol abuse, violence and disappointment could extinguish.
We know he's hot because he pulls the hottest women in Riverdale and always has. Young Hermione Lodge feels super drawn to him. He had both Alice Smith and Alice Cooper obsessed with him. He got Gladys No Maiden Name to marry him and procreate with him, not once but twice, and take him back after what happened at the end of S3.
FP has very high sperm motility. I stand by my hc that Charles isn't the only unknown son of FP Jones (I say Kurtz is another Son of FP - why else would he be so fucking obsessed with the Jones family). He kind of has the opposite problem from Hiram, who wants sons but begets daughters. FP has such problems with manhood that he wants only daughters, but he just sprays sons all over the place.
With just even a smidge more money in his background he could've been a Renaissance man. He played more than one sport pretty well, he was in a band, he was good at making friends, he had the spark of intelligence and lots of sex appeal. He was talented. Talent is hot.
And yet FP never achieved anything. Not really. The burn of wasted potential is hot, too.
FP doesn't want to fuck children. At all. This is very hot.
FP's dark side is fucking dark though. He's not sexually interested in children but he's fully willing to exploit and coerce Joaquin de Santos to the point of basically pimping him out. He watched Clifford Blossom shootJason right in the face, and simply mopped up the blood afterwards. A dark side that's actually dark is kinda hot.
FP is capable of putting on and taking off costumes (biker gang member, prisoner, diner waiter, sheriff) without ever losing his essence. He wears the uniforms, the uniforms never wear him. This is hot.
Whatever it is he has going on with Fred Andrews his whole life is very, very hot.
