Chapter 4: Our Little Tapewrom
The doctor's office was sterile and beige, the colour of boredom and poor funding. Coop sat on the examination table, the crinkly paper beneath her sounding unnaturally loud in the quiet room. Punch Up paced a narrow strip of linoleum, his short legs making the motion look like a caged animal's.
"Will you stop that?" Coop finally snapped. "You're making me dizzy."
"Sorry," Punch Up said, stopping immediately. He fiddled with the end of his shirt. "It's just… this is the part where it gets real, right? Not just a pink line on a stick that Herm probably breathed on too hard."
"Hey!" Waterboy's muffled protest came from the waiting room, where they'd made him stay under threat of violence.
Before Coop could ask why Waterboy was here at all, the door opened and Dr. Anya Sharma entered, a warm smile on her face. She was a small, no-nonsense woman who had seen more things than most of the Z-Team combined in her tenure as SDN's primary medical provider.
"Janelle, Colm," she said, consulting a tablet. "Good to see you both. So, we're here for the confirmation, are we?"
"That's the one," Coop said, her voice tight.
With that confirmation Dr. Sharma tapes the side of her head twice, seemingly causing the pupils and white of her eyes turn into a glowing Tv static grey "right, everything seems normal, the baby has a steady heartbeat and seems to be healthy" she said matter-of-factly, as if she were reading a shopping list "congratulations, you're about nine weeks along. Your due date is-" "Scuss me miss, but... what exactly did you do?" Punch up interupted, "your eyes just sorta went funny" Dr. Sharma's eyes returned to their normal brown "Oh! I suppose I should show you guys what I see" With that Dr. Sharma tapped a button on the side of her glasses and two blue rays of light beamed out of the lenses and onto Coop's chest, revealing her beating heart nestled in her ribcage "that's freaky..." Punch Up said eyes wide, he turned to his wife who look down with her regular indifference, "how are you not in awe of this stuff?" he asked her, Coop shrugged off his question like it was nothing "I'm use to this kinda stuff." "Would you to like to see the fetus?" Dr. Sharma asked, the rays of light still coming out of her glasses, Coop and Punch Up both looked at each other and nodded, Dr. Sharma's hands flew across her tablet, "it's a bit small for my glasses to pick up but I think I can get it" with the precision of a surgeon she began to maneuver the light beams until they stopped at Coop's stomach, "I can't believe you don't get disturbed by the sight of blood and guts like that" Punch Up told Coop, clearly astonishment at his wife's tolerance "guess I don't get disturbed easily." "I found the Fetus" Dr. Sharma announced, "Aww, Coop, look it's our kid" Punch Up said with an odd sense of pride "I can barely see it it's so small" Coop said unimpressed, "I can make enlarge the image" Dr. Sharma offered as she expanded the image of the fetus. Coop looked up at the enlarge projection "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?" she yelled suddenly, "it looks like a goddamn tapeworm!" "Janelle! Language!" Punch Up scolded "and it's our tape" Punch up said "our little tapeworm" "that's not funny" Coop argued. "right then" Dr. Sharma said, making the projection smaller "if you two will excuse me I have a common cold I need to treat" she began putting on protective snow gear "hopefully they're powers don't amplify it" she said as she opened the door and left the room.
"what a nice lady" Punch Up commented as the couple left the room to be greeted by a very anxious Waterboy. The lobby was quiet except for the frantic tapping of Waterboy’s foot against the linoleum tile. He shot up from his chair the second they emerged, a water bottle already sweating in his clenched fist.
"Well? Is it... is everything okay? Did the doctor say anything weird? I thought I heard yelling. Was it a monster baby? I can handle a monster baby, especially after that time I had to watch Golem's Kaiju son"
"It's a Tapeworm, Herm," Coop said flatly, brushing past him and making a beeline for the exit.
Waterboy froze, his face a mask of pure, unadulterated horror. "A... a what?"
"She's kidding, Herm!" Punch Up said quickly, grabbing Waterboy's shoulder to steady him. "It's a baby. A regular, human baby, it's just grwoing that's all. We saw it and everything. It's got... little nubs. For arms. It's great." "he said proudly
Waterboy let out a shaky breath, a small puddle forming at his feet. "Oh, thank goodness. A regular baby is... that's manageable. I read a book on regular baby development. Very informative."
Coop rolled her eyes, but a small, almost imperceptible smile touched her lips. "Let's go. I'm craving something deep-fried and terrible for my health." "my kind of girl" Punch up said as he put an arm around Coop.
As they stepped out into the bright LA sun, Coop's phone buzzed. She pulled it out, expecting a spam call, but the name on the screen made her pause. "It's Visi," she said, a note of surprise in her voice. She answered, putting it on speaker.
"What do you want, Visi?" Coop asked, her usual guard snapping back into place.
"Cut the shit, Coop," Invisigal's sharp voice replied. "You're at SDN Medical, right? Me and Golem need a hand with a job" "A job? what are you talking about? we're about to go get food" Coop complained "Don't care," Invisigal said, completely ignoring her. "There's a situation downtown. A big one. I've got a lead on some of Shroud's old gear, some of the scraps from his Mech might be there too" "Impossible? SDN took all that into custody" Coop interjected, "Sure, but they did a pretty shit job a keep that stuff secure, because this morning half of it was gone" she explained
There was a heavy sigh on the other end. "Just get down here. It's on the corner of 5th and Maple. An old data server farm" The line went dead.
Coop stared at her phone, then at Punch Up. "Well," she said, her voice dry. "Guess we got to take care of that"
"Actually..." Punch up said "I'll just go. I think it's better if you sit this one out cause of the baby and all that"
The suggestion hung in the air. Coop’s head snapped toward him, her expression a mixture of disbelief and fury. "Excuse me?"
"I'm just saying," Punch Up said, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "Maybe you should take it easy. This sounds like the opposite of easy. Golems there, I'll be fine."
"Of course you'll be fine," Coop shot back, her voice dangerously low. "But you're not going alone. This is still our job, Colm. My job. I'm not some fragile porcelain doll that's going to shatter if I so much as break a sweat." She took a step closer, her gaze pinning him in place. "I think I can handle a little recon."
Waterboy whimpered, shrinking back a few steps. "I-I can get you both some very hydrating water for the road!"
Coop shout Waterboy a look and open her mouth to say something loud to him, however before she could though she quickly covered her mouth with her hands, turned away with a gag and threw up in a nearby bin, Punch Up instinctively reached out to steady her, his expression softening. "Easy there."
Coop took a few deep breaths, her back still to him. "Don't you 'easy there' me," she said, her voice muffled by her hands. "I'm fine-" before she could continue her protest a second wave of nausea hit her like a brick causing her throw up again, "okay... maybe you're right" she said weakly, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she then turned around to face Punch Up, her face pale but her eyes blazing with defiant frustration.
"Fine," she bit out. "You go. But you call me the second you're done"
Punch Up nodded, relief washing over him. "Deal."
"And Colm?" she added, her tone leaving no room for argument.
"Yeah?"
"Bring me back some extra spicy jalapeño peppers. And a milkshake. And those onion ring things from that one place. And some of those-" "I get it! I get it!" he said as he turned to Waterboy "Okay, Herm. You're with me."
