My opinion is that life is a balancing act of doing what's right for others and doing what's right for yourself. When asked about this in the past, I've talked about how I identify as a cis woman internally. I don't feel trans, as I view the physical body as something I occasionally inhabit rather than something that is truly "mine." My memories, real or not, are of a life where I was born exactly as I am in the inner world.
There are some who would say I shouldn't be allowed to identify this way. It wasn't long ago that I saw a syscourse post saying that alters in AFAB bodies shouldn't be allowed to identify as transfem.
I think if my identity offends people... then so be it. I can't change my identity to please others. I won't do identify in a way that is unhealthy for myself because someone else is doesn't like it. I don't want to offend people, but when it comes to matters of my identity, I have to put myself first.
More specifically to parethnicity, I don't know what it's like to identify heavily with another culture. I don't know what it's like to experience racial dysphoria. I don't think I have a right to tell people how they should or shouldn't identify, and I never would tell people to identify in a way that could potentially be harmful for their mental health.
It is important to acknowledge that you lack lived experience of those labels, but the term parethnicity in itself does acknowledge that this is only how one identifies internally and doesn't reflect the lived experiences or the actual ethnicity of the body.
Alright, so I know our Tumblr has been mainly system-related shitposts, but I actually want to share my takes on something somewhat controversial in the wider plural community...
Parethnicity
(Apologies if I jump around a bunch, I have adhd and this is my first time writing something like this on Tumblr)
so... this is obviously a controversial topic and we have reasons why we both like and dislike this term... That said, several of our headmates identify as Parethnic, so you know.
Second of all, keep in mind this is coming from a white system member in a pretty dang white body (we're jewish, but like).
I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with parethnicity. I think it's a great way to say "my inner appearance/memories/etc have similarities with a certain race or ethnicity" while still acknowledging that it doesn't necessarily align with your body's race.
And even if there was anything inherently wrong with it, it wouldn't stop members of another race from existing in the first place. One way or another, they'd probably still exist. All our headmates look so different, and they have different body shapes and different heights and hair colors... and yes, people aren't discriminated against because of hair colors (at least, I sure hope they aren't) but when it comes down to it, it really isn't that different
Really, my only gripe is when people actually try to claim the experiences of POC... which admittedly I haven't seen much of. Most people I've witnessed using the term parethnic are respectful about it.
I want to actually share about two of my headmates who identify as parethnic.
The first one had memories from before she entered our system, and in addition, her appearance (or memories) do not match those of any race found on earth. She identifies as parethnic.
One of our other parethnic headmates (sorry I'm not giving names, they aren't here right now and I'd prefer to ask permission before using their names), in headspace, looks half-white and half-japanese. And they do 'identify' as this, although, they don't claim to have any sort of experiences related to being half-japanese.
Here's the thing I think is really overlooked though. It's not intentional, because like, we're not bigots... but one way or another, parethnic headmates are probably going to be interacted with differently than white headmates. Racism is unfortunately ingrained in our subconscious, and although it isn't at all to the same extent as one might experience with a non-white body, it's still there.
I think it's actually a good thing that we have parethnic headmates, and if anything, I think we should have more. Our system is mostly white, and I think that its important to have more diversity among our system. And we do have many other parethnic headmates with all sorts of different appearances and identities.
(When I say identity, I feel I should clarify that no system member goes "oh yeah, I'm whatever," most of them do make the distinction that they are whatever in the headspace)
So, here's another criticism about parethnicity that I saw somewhere once. It's that race isn't an inherent part of human nature, it's just that it was made up to justify being a really shitty person (thanks colonialism).
Which is true. There's nothing inherent and internal about race, but
1. Race is unfortunately a construct that we're probably going to live with for awhile (this isn't a good thing, I should say)
2. I think this is the reason the parethnic label exists. There's not a label for headmates with different, say, hair colors, because like I've said before, people aren't discriminated against hair colors at a systemic level
Last thing to say, I don't feel like I need to remind most people of this, but in case I do: please don't go into spaces spaces for meant for groups that you do not bodily belong to.
Anyhow, I'm very bad at getting my points across in long-winded posts apparently. But I tried. In retrospect, I should have practiced with a lighter topic first.
But anyway. I'm glad you read through the whole thing and I'm alright hearing others opinions on this, even if they are different than mine. Or other people asking me to clarify something because as I have said before I did a bad job getting my point across.
Hi, I'm sysmedicalist. This is my anonymous syscourse side blog.
We're a disabled Jewish system of color and intersex. Our diagnosis list is really fucking long and also private, so don't ask. But it means that we won't be around to consistently reply to posts.
This is a discourse blog, so I don't really care if you interact if you disagree with my opinions. But I will block you if you harass me or use my reblogs to harass people.
Opinions: (system related... If I got into others this post would be a novel)
Parethnicity is bullshit, but some people who use it might be misinformed because endos like to say "ooooh, but poc in our (pro-endo community) agree with it!"
Alla-ethnicity is even more bullshit.
If your body is white, you're white.
If you formed with a culturally exclusive name and don't belong to that culture, you should use a nickname or be anonymous as an alter in spaces that may include people of the culture your name is from. I don't care what you do in private/therapy or with close friends who are chill with it.
BPD doesn't cause DID systems. It's just co-morbid.
Tulpamancy is racist. If you must use a similar term, just use thoughtform/servitor or something?
Systems aren't the same thing as mogai. Microlabels aren't usually useful, unless they're an alternate label for something like tulpamancy. I don't care much about this one though.
Endogenics and other non-DID/OSDD systems should stay out of medical system spaces. For everyone's sanity. Endogenics that are actually diagnosed are on thin ice I guess, but like why are you in them if you don't agree with them? Shut up and sit down, you're not more oppressed than trauma survivors. Just look at resources or whatever the fuck.
daily reminder that “race” and “ethnicity” are not the same thing, and it’s another reason why terms like “parethnicity” and “allaethnic” are 100% misinformed racist bullshit.
race refers to the “grouping of humans based on shared physical or social qualities into categories generally viewed as distinct by society”, ie a combination of physical *and* cultural traits separate from the way other people look and how other people’s cultures are.
ethnicity refers to “the fact or state of belonging to a social group that has a common national or cultural tradition”, ie where youre from and the involved culture of that place.
so essentially, in very simple, very boiled down terms:
race is how you look, ethnicity is where you’re from.
yet it’s funny how i never see “parethnic” and “allaethnic” assholes claiming to have an irish parethnicity or to be allaethnically german or what the fuck ever. it’s just mostly white people being racist and trying to claim experiences that aren’t their own. funny, that.
Opinions on parethnicity? (Btw I love your blog!!!)
I've seen a variety of takes on this. I've seen people claim it's racist to identify as an ethnicity that's not your own. I've also seen systems of color say it's ableist to try to force alters of DID systems to not identify how they choose, making the point that the fear of alters being accused of told they can't identify how they choose could lead to the alters being ignored by the system, and strengthening dissociative barriers.
Like most system things, it's complicated.
No one in our system identifies as another race or ethnicity, so we don't have that type of experience.
But as as some who follow this blog know, I identify as biologically female. I don't feel like a trans woman. I have memories, fake as they are, of a childhood growing up as a little girl. I didn't choose those memories, but they're a part of me. And my form, what I consider my actual body, has always been female.
At the same time, I have to acknowledge that I don't have the experiences of actual biological females. I don't know if how I experience my internal anatomy is accurate to biological females. I've never experienced sexism. I've never had a period. I'll never be able to become physically pregnant and give birth to a child. I don't even know what it's like to have sit down to...
Thanks, anon. 🙄
Is it sexist to identify internally as a biological woman when I don't have the lived experiences of physical biological women?
Regardless of people's opinion on the topic, I think it's important to recognize that "parethnicity" is actually the compromise. If a headmate feels German and remembers growing up in Germany with a German family, the term allows them to identify as German while also acknowledging that their "German" isn't the equivalent of someone who is of actual German ethnicity.
WRT the transrace discussion, I think a big issue people are having is that white people should not be participating in discourse and discussion involving something that influences and affects the lives of BIPOC.
If multiple POC have said that identifying as transracial is racist… it’s up to us white people to listen to them! It’s up to us to be open to changing our ways. If you want to be involved in transracial discussion, the best thing you can do as a white person is uplift the voices of BIPOC who are literally affected by that label. As a white person, you’re not really affected. So it really isn’t your place to speak out on what is and isn’t racist. Because you can’t experience racism so you don’t really know what racism can and does look like.
And what of the many POC who identify as trace? Why do POC in only one group deserve to be listened to?
I am not out advocating for trace identities. I didn't ask to get involved in this discourse. My position is that race is complicated and I'm remaining neutral.
