Summary: History had never been wrong about the lengths human beings would go for survival, for pride, for love… Tory Miller never thought she would see it unfold with her own eyes, not after the end of an era, but she could understand. Now, their war was being fought in all fronts. Negan’s was for pride, Rick’s was for survival, both of them were unstoppable forces. And her war? Tory’s war was for love.
Warnings: SLOW BURN, angst, swearing, death, violence, fluff, hurt/comfort, child endangerment, general trauma, drama, mentions of infidelity and polygamy, general lack or morals, mentions of nudity, graphic sexual scenes (nsfw), mentions of blood, apocalyptic world. As always, I don’t want to give the story away in the tags, read at your own risk.
Author’s note: We're supper close to the end.
This story will have those 90 chapters, give or take, but most likely.
I imagined this chapter for years, most of it was written for the better part of a year and it looks nothing like I planned it.
I still hope y'all like it.
(gif credit)
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
War,
The Hilltop, VA.
Tory wondered; as she sat out of the medical trailer, why she loved medicine so much. It was a bloody business; and she had seen more than her fair share of blood in such a short amount of time. Her hands were sticky with Negan’s blood, she’d preferred not to wash them just yet.
It was for impact, not because she wanted to be all sticky and dirty.
But Tory had more important matters to worry about, like being watched. Not that she cared about being watched, much less by Daryl.
It was the principle of the matter.
“Don’t you feel ashamed?” he asked.
“What for?” Tory asked, humoring him.
“Being on the side of that piece o’shit.” He spat. Well, he’d gotten that right.
Tory shrugged. “I’m sorry Daryl, but I don’t owe anyone an explanation of what I did to survive.”
He was about to say something else when Rick came out of the medical trailer.
“He will live.” He said.
Is not that Tory didn’t know that, nor that she’d been let to do anything.
Rick gave Tory a long look, it wasn’t a glare, he was just looking at her; she looked at him straight in the eye.
“You’re lettin’ that asshole live, Rick? For real?” Daryl asked, breaking the silent battle of stares between Rick and Tory. “After what he did?”
“He’s gotta be an example, Daryl.” Rick answered, sounding tired.
Tory didn’t say anything as Daryl cursed and walked away from them, strutting as if he’d been offended. Well, he probably was; Negan did have him tortured, didn’t he?
Rick Grimes turned his ice blue eyes back on her.
“Did Negan hurt you?”
There were many ways to answer that question, if she was sincere about it, but that wouldn’t work with Rick. He’d tried to kill her soulmate, she’d seen it.
“Yes, and no.” she said after a few moments.
“Is it true? What you said to him?”
The baby.
Her little Peanut.
She’d spilled because she’d thought Negan was going to die; she was still wearing his blood as proof of it.
“That’s none of your business, Rick.” Tory stated.
“You’re from Alexandria an-”
“Spare me that crap, you don’t care.” Tory was so angry at him, seething with contained rage. “You tried to kill my soulmate.”
“He killed Glenn, he killed Abraham.” Rick growled.
“What did you expect after killing a bunch of his people and causing the death of his girlfriend?” Tory asked, remembering the little graves at Doveport; she didn’t take the time to explain anything to him. “The people you killed at that outpost, Rick? Because you didn’t think to ask and find out? They had families, children, wives.”
Rick seemed taken aback at her vehement defense of the Saviors.
“They are bad people.”
“There were some, yes, but we were no better, honestly.” Tory rebuked. “You escalated the conflict, Rick, everything that has happened since? Those are the consequences. Spencer? Me? We told you.”
Rick blushed. “It changes nothing, what he did to the people under him-”
“Have you ever lived there?” Tory asked, her voice cold and unforgiving. “I did. It could be way worse, Rick…” there was a little pause as he glared. “You made it so.”
“I didn-” he started and Tory shook her head.
“Save that bullshit excuse that it’s about to come out of your mouth, I do know what happened.” Tory said. She felt so tired. “Can I see him?”
“No.” he cut.
Tory nodded.
“Okay, then. I’ve got nothing to do here.” she turned away, ready to find her way to Doveport, on foot if it was necessary.
“You don’t have to leave, where are you going to go?” Rick asked.
Tory shrugged. “Home.”
“Alexandria is not…” Rick trailed off.
“That’s not what I meant.”
Rick shook his head in disbelief. “Then where? The Sanctuary is not safe now.”
Tory thought about Martha, who knew so much and was so very ready to take charge.
“It’s safer there for me than here. Maggie won’t let this go, Rick, Negan is not available and I’m the next best thing.”
“She wouldn’t hurt you,” he jumped.
“She’s hurt, she’s angry. I want to hurt you right now, so I know what is going through her mind.” Tory rubbed her arms, trying to give herself some heat. Despite the heat of the day, she felt nothing but cold. “I hope you sleep well.”
••• ••• •••
Henry had waited up until Victoria had come back from wherever she’d gone with her savior friend.
He’d felt a weight on his stomach when she’d come back, her clothes stained with blood, as well as her hands. She’d gone past the little nurse office-slash-hospital and straight to the showers.
Tory had her back turned to him as water fell on her back; she looked so small, a bit hunched as she sniffled a bit.
“Are you going to watch from there all night, Rhodes?”
“I’ll get wet.” He said, trying to gauge her reaction.
Tory nodded, her back shook.
Fuck getting wet. Henry walked up to Tory and hugged her to him.
“He almost died. I’ve…I’m so tired.” She sobbed.
Henry kissed her temple. “Come on, finish your shower, you need to rest.”
When they laid on Tory’s bed, later that night, Henry let her snuggle up to him. He decided then and there that he did not like Rick Grimes, and was happy that Tory was back where he could protect her, but he also knew it wouldn’t last.
She would go back out there, and she would fight for the other half of her.
That was the real Tory, the real steel under the suffering and the fragility.
Henry hardly ever envied people, but he envied this Negan fellow.
••• ••• •••
Carl was sitting by the little garden, enjoying the sun and watching the people of Doveport work.
They mostly stayed away from him, except for Addison, Doctor Rhodes and Tory herself, even Charlotte was not completely comfortable around Carl. It was stupid, keeping away from Carl, that is; he was a damn brilliant kid and also needed contact with the society he was involved in at the moment.
Not that it would last long, but Tory had plans.
“Are you gonna say something?” Carl asked, finally turning to look her way.
Tory smiled, completely caught by him. “I am, and you might not like it.”
Carl Grimes made a non-committal noise and gestured the seat at his side, inviting her in. She sat at his side, watching the people of Doveport just like him.
“What happened…yesterday when you left?”
Tory closed her eyes. She could see it in her mind’s eye, the blood, the slit in Negan’s throat at she tired to apply pressure, his gurgling breathing.
“Your dad slit Negan’s throat.” She whispered, not wanting anyone from the community to hear her.
Carl frowned. “Is he…?”
She shook her head. “Siddiq saved him.” Tory’s eyes fell to her hands, they were clean now, but she could still feel the stickiness of the blood, the warmth, she could almost feel the red.
“Why are you telling me this?” Carl asked, his one eye fixed on her.
“Because I want you to help me.” Tory licked her lips, a custom she’d recently acquired to hide her anxiety. “I want to be able to have contact with Negan, but I fear your dad will try to stop event that.”
“If he’s made his mind up then-” she lifted her hand to stop him.
“Your dad doesn’t know you’re alive.” She said.
Carl paled. “You want to blackmail him…with me?”
“I do feel shame for even thinking about it, but I have to think about my family Carl, I’m having a baby and I want them to know their dad.” Tears gathered in her eyes and started to fall. “I know what it feels like, not having a dad. I don’t want that for my child, even if I’m just co-parenting.”
“So, you’re having Negan’s baby, not one of his wives?”
Tory nodded. “You knew about that?”
Carl answered back her nod with his own. “I heard things the one time I went to the Sanctuary.”
Tory smiled and nodded. “Yup, I though I’d never have a baby, turns out Negan was my ace card.”
“I do not need to know that shit, Tory.” Carl said, disgust dripping from his voice.
“Oh, so you’re never going to screw Enid and have babies with her?”
“Not before we’re thirty.” Carl said.
Tory laughed. “Try that in a world without condoms, honey.”
••• ••• •••
Lucas was waiting for them outside of Doveport.
He waved at Carl and hugged Tory, showing them the car that they’d used the previous day.
“You got what I asked for?” she asked.
Lucas showed her the pair of walkies and Tory smiled, right before giving one to Carl.
The boy looked dubious, but Tory was not going to let him walk away from their deal, not after she concocted a credible story for the whole letter drama Carl had made.
“Take us as close as you can to the Hilltop, then stay with Carl until I call you, okay?” Tory asked. Her friend shrugged.
“Just don’t get fucking killed, okay?”
“I don’t think I will.”
••• ••• •••
Rick didn’t expect Tory to be back at all, after the way she had left the day before. She seemed calmer this morning as well.
She waited for him outside of the medical trailer and he wondered what she was planning. Rick used to like her, despite how stubborn she was, but Tory Miller had changed in the few month she had been away from Alexandria.
He had sincerely forgot about her existence.
Yes, she had been working with the previous doctor that Alexandria had for a long while, but once the girl was gone, after her dad had died, no one ever bothered much with her, and Rick forgot.
Things had gotten out of hand.
“I have a deal for you, Rick Grimes.” She said, looking at him, her grey eyes glacially cold.
“There can’t be a deal about Negan. He needs to be punished.” He growled.
She smirked at him and sighed, looking behind him.
“I’m not saying that you have to let him be free, he needs the hit to his ego, he needs the punishment.” The Miller girl said. “He needs to repent, but I refuse to let you do it your way only. I have a family to think about, Rick.”
Rick scoffed. “Your kid can do much better than having Negan for a dad.”
“Sure they can, but it’s me who doesn’t want to do that shit. It doesn’t work for everyone.” Tory sighed and leaned against the bark of a tree and Rick scowled.
“What can you even offer?”
There was something scary, when Tory looked up from the ground, one eyebrow up, it was unsettling as she reached for something on her side. Rick almost went for his gun when he noticed the antenna.
It was a walkie talkie.
“I can give you back your son.” She said softly.
Images of Carl flashed behind his eyes as he swallowed hard.
“You know where his body is?”
Tory tilted her head. “I want something in exchange for the information that I will give you Rick, I’m good at keeping secrets, you know?”
He didn’t.
He hardly cared about what she did once it didn’t bother him. Rick hadn’t expected to find a person who would defy him like that, much less at this point.
“What do you want?” he growled reluctantly.
“I want access to Negan.” Tory said. “I’m his soulmate and whether I want it or not, I need him.”
“Absolutely not.” He spat.
“Okay, then I want to go back home, Alexandria.”
“You can’t be trusted with this, Tory.” He said.
“You’re giving me nothing and I will give you back peace, Rick, how much would you pay for peace? I’m not asking you to free Negan, just to let me see him once in a while. I’m having his child.”
“You can have access to Negan, but he can’t know about your child.”
Tory bit her lip as her eyes shone with tears. She looked at the ground and shuffled on her feet. Damn, she was young.
A part of him felt guilty.
“I’ll take it. And I get back my dad’s house in Alexandria. For me and my child.”
Rick nodded.
Tory offered him his hand.
He stretched his arm and they shook their hands.
“Where’s Carl body?”
Tory turned the walkie on. “He agreed, Luc.” She said, her voice shaky.
“Okay, Cali.” Came the other voice, once Rick didn’t know.
The walkie fell silent for a moment and then…
“Dad?”
Rick’ felt weak at the knees and Tory’s eyes widened when he felt to his knees, his throat felt like a knot had been tied as he tried to breathe, sob, make one noise.
“Dad?” came Carl’s voice again.
Tory seemed worried at his reaction as he grabbed the little device with shaky hands and she let go.
“Carl?” he finally wheezed, between a sob and a cry.
“Hey, Dad.”
••• ••• •••
Tory sat by the door as Michonne, Rick and Siddiq talked to Negan.
For her, all of their words were shit.
Their whole world was built upon blood, ashes and death.
It was impossible to expect they would all bury the bad blood there was between their groups by holding onto having Negan be a prisoner. Tory knew, because he was a symbol, he had a system, even if she didn’t agree with it.
It would all eventually crumble and she would have to be there to see it.
“We’re not gonna hurt you. We’re not gonna kill you. You’re going to rot in a cell.” Rick said, growled…rasped. Tory bit her lip harder.
“The rest of your life, day after day.” Michonne continued.
“You’re going to be evidence that we’re building a civilization, something like what we had, something we’re gonna get back.”
Tory thought back to everyone she’d lost, even before the world went to hell. Her grandparents, her mother, Peyton, Henry, Spencer, her dad. They would never get the people back, they would never get back to the normal from before, no matter what.
It was stupid, all of it.
“And you get to watch it happen, you get to see how wrong you were about what people can be, about what life can be.”
“You alive? It’s gonna show people that things have changed, that keeping you breathing earns another way, a better way.”
Tory though about Lucas clever eviscerations of character, he had worked in a law firm, hadn’t he? He’d have smelled the bullshit from a mile away.
And Rick Grimes was full of it.
“So, after all this, maybe you’re good for something.” Michonne said.
