#passing discourse

[cass-iter-ite]

I don’t know how to tell you this but not all nonbinary genders are encompassed by “either androgynous or blue hair and pronouns” and your assumption that these are comfortable for all of us is - say it with me - exorsexist as fuck

It’s like if you said all trans women could easily pass bc makeup exists. Well some trans women (and for that matter some cis women) don’t fucking want to wear makeup, and their womanhood should still be respected and recognized. But nonbinary people who don’t want androgyny aren’t afforded that same respect, and that’s exorsexism.

[vampirepuppyboyfag]

tired of talking about passing so much in trans spaces

im fat, goth, i have a round face and hips and a large chest

im probably never going to pass to cis people

and that's okay

i shouldn't have to shift myself to the cis gaze to be a guy

[redheadedfailgirl]

Genuinely I think a lot of platitudes about passing and happiness post-transition are based on survivorship bias. We hold up the transition timelines of the people that managed to meet the cisgender baseline, photoshopped selfies of people who were already more than pretty enough, and tell people that 'hrt is magic' and a lot of people end up not passing, not meeting the bar for conventional attractiveness, and blaming themselves. The people that make it out are very much extraordinary examples, who probably should be celebrated and feel good about their progress, but aren't 100% of transitions.

I don't want people to think that they're doomed or it isn't possible, because it is. But it isn't universal. Some people aren't going to pass. Some people aren't going to be bombshells. And there has to be a way to reckon with that other than telling them to get ffs, try harder, and wait for hrt to work its magic. There has to be a way to make it feel okay for those people.

[z0urcherri]

Little bitches still think "passing" as queer is something you gotta do so i'm here to tell you no you sure as fuck don't!! You wear queer in your own special way, you OWN it. There is no right or wrong way to do it, only a way or many ways to do it that makes YOU happy! 💌

[wizardfeet]

It's not that all trans men pass. Not all trans men pass. If you think that, you've clearly never actually engaged in a community of trans mascs or trans men. A lot of trans men don't pass. I'd even say most trans men I know don't pass. It's that when trans men don't pass society puts them in the GNC woman category. And when these men are attacked or harassed it isn't recognised as being directed at a "trans man" because our existence is never brought up and always swept away as unimportant.

[bumpyfrog]

The trans community as a whole treats non passing trans people as if we’re come kind of awful ugly blight on trans hood & if you don’t pass as a trans guy it’s cause you’re not trying hard enough. Or if you don’t pass, that you’re inherently cringeworthy and pitiful. All the jokes about “trans guy voice”. If you wear a pronoun pin, you’re cringe. If you’re visibly trans, cringe.

I just feel like my existence is an embarrassment and that other trans people look at me and see one of Those Transes

[radfem-gossip-reborn]

i feel like “passing” is a term used to describe how fuckable a transwoman is rather than how much he looks like a woman. there are plenty of conventionally unattractive women and plenty of women with masculine features so you’d think that ugly TIMs would be able to “pass” as well but it’s somehow always the hyperfeminine bratz doll looking TIMs that are considered unclockable

x

[armve1ns]

opinion time

this is a list of my opinions on common trans discourse topics. subject to change

how many genders? enby discourse

personally, i believe there are only 2 genders as far as science goes. trans women and men have certain observable neurological characteristics that make them neurologically the gender they identify as rather than their sex. this disconnect leads to distress, and since you cant change neurology, you change the body.

that being said, i realise that certain identities (such as common/reclaimed historical non binary labels) are culturally important, and akin to things like androgyny and gender non-conformity. while these identities have no basis in neurology, they deserve respect. no one is neurologically a firefighter, but firefighters are a real thing that a person can be.

the issues need seperation, as both have a different sources. one is a medical issue, one is cultural. they are not mutually exclusive, and certain individuals can be both enby and a trans, but they are not inherently trans by virtue of being enby.

on that note, what makes someone trans? dysphoria discourse

gender dysphoria is the main diagnosable symptom of a gender vs sex disconnect. having gender dysphoria does not make you trans, but rather if you have a brain that expects the opposite body, you will have gd. it is the result, not the cause.

different people have different definitions of dysphoria. i believe it to be a clinically significant distress over ones primary and secondary sex characteristics. 'social gd' is a product of that distress, and is not enough on its own to classify someone as trans. social gd exists because being referred to as their birth sex reminds them of their sex characteristics.

some people who claim to only have social gd have actually repressed their physical distress. this was my case in regards to bottom dysphoria. i didnt realise i had repressed it until i had my top surgery. with that major stressor gone, i could cope with other stressors, and my brain allowed me to realise that i had been experiencing lower dysphoria this whole time.

some people who claim to only have social gd are actually just uncomfortable with the treatment they experience because of their percieved gender. sexism on both sides can lead to people wanting to distance themselves from that experience, thus the rise in the enby labels.

they are uncomfortable being viewed as either a man or a woman, not because it reminds them of their sex characteristics, but because people treat them poorly either way. if they are viewed as a woman, they get catcalled. if they are viewed as a man, they are treated coldly (gross oversimplification, but you get my point).

do you have to transition medically to be trans?

if you cannot physically transition, or are holding off due to health concerns, you are no less trans than historical trans people who were without the ability to transition.

passing and gender presentation?

gender non-conforming trans people and non passing trans people are still trans. duh. if you can avoid it, you shouldnt put your natal sex characteristics on display, as it may trigger dysphoria, but wearing clothes targeted at your birth sex/being non-passing does not make you not trans.

are trenders a thing?

yes, but imo, the term should be limited to people knowingly doing it for attention. people who are genuinely mistaken or misinformed, or even the willfully ignorant should not be called trenders.