how did joan help jfk when baby patrick died? i heard somewhere she really was there for him. also love ur blog, it is very nice❤
Ooh, I love this question! And thank you for your kind words :) Here comes a verrrry long post.
In short, Joan helped Jack immensely after baby Patrick's death. The story actually warms my heart so much. It really is a testament to how emotionally-capable she was and being in a family where everyone just seemed to be so emotionally closed-off and incapable with the exception of a few, (examples in question, Bobby & Eunice), it must have been so refreshing for him to have Joan there during it.
She played the role of a shoulder for Jack to lean on and I think in the moment it felt very comforting to be able to have Joan there for him and have someone not give him the usual "He's in a better place now." narrative and just be very genuine with him. It was a difficult time.
JFK dancing with Joan on her Wedding Day. Circa, November 29th, 1958.
Here is the very sweet anecdote that you were probably referring to or heard about. It's quite a long read, but it's just so incredibly heartwarming. And it shows some good insight into their overall dynamic and relationship. <3 Give it a read below:
After Patrick’s funeral, it was Joan who provided the most comfort to Jack during the time he secluded himself at home.
“She was a rock through this for him,” said Joan Braden. “It was surprising to some. Joan was usually the one you needed to rally around in times of crisis. But for this one, she was there for Jack. I think she wanted to do it for Jackie, too. She felt terrible for what the two of them were going through. In so many ways, Joan was—is—probably the most sensitive person in the family. It’s easy to say someone would do anything for another person, but with Joan Kennedy, it was always the truth.”
Former Kennedy aide Dave Powers who stayed with Jack at Squaw Island recalled, “The first night [after the funeral], she just sat with him for a long, long time and just talked. There was none of the orthodoxy you might expect from Ethel. No talk about how Patrick was in heaven and happy, but rather just warm, human, simple talk.”
Jack and Jackie’s Squaw Island home was sparsely and simply furnished with comfortable, upholstered chairs and thick, woven rugs. It was large and airy, and spotlessly clean. On the walls were watercolored seascapes that had been painted by Jackie. As Joan and Jack stood before one of the paintings, Powers heard Joan say, “There’s no explaining what happened. I’m not like Ethel. I don’t know that all things happen for a reason. I just know that things happen.”
“That they do,” Jack said, his blue eyes tearing up.
“And when they happen,” Joan continued, “we just have to go on, somehow, and know that we have the strength to carry on. It’s in every one of us, Jack. That strength. It’s our birthright.”
“Do you have that strength, Joansie?” Jack asked, using Ted’s nickname for her. “Can you get through this life God has given us?”
Rather than answer the question, Joan embraced the President.
“I know one thing, Jack. You do,” she said as she held him. “Of all people, you do.”
“The President listened and was deeply moved,” said Dave Powers. “She left at eleven that night and the President walked with her out to the driveway. ‘You know,’ he told me when he returned to the house, ‘she’s a great girl.’ She was there the next night and the next, and the President was grateful. She did a great deal for him.”
It would seem, based on the remembrances of others close to the President, that Jack developed a new respect for his sister-in-law and for her unique brand of simple, common, and good sense. She wasn’t afraid to address difficult subjects, which was unusual in the emotionally closed-off Kennedy family and was behavior worthy of admiration, and she was even insightful in her clear-eyed assessment of emotional occurrences.
After Patrick’s funeral, it was Joan who provided the most comfort to Jack during the time he secluded himself at home.
“She was a rock through this for him,” said Joan Braden. “It was surprising to some. Joan was usually the one you needed to rally around in times of crisis. But for this one, she was there for Jack. I think she wanted to do it for Jackie, too. She felt terrible for what the two of them were going through. In so many ways, Joan was—is—probably the most sensitive person in the family. It’s easy to say someone would do anything for another person, but with Joan Kennedy, it was always the truth.”
So yes, Joan was very much there for JFK after baby Patrick's death and it really did make him realize what a great sister-in-law he had. It also makes me wonder what the future would have been like for the both of them had Jack not been assassinated just a few months later. I know he had a deep admiration and respect for her, I mean who else got to be nicknamed 'The Dish' by Jack Kennedy. And just how he would frequently compliment her for her campaigning and how wonderful she was on the stump for him, "We couldn't have won without you.", he wrote to her shortly after winning the election.
There's so much more to this too, but I'll leave it at that.
Also, here is a link to Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women of Camelot Part One. If you fast-forward to the time-stamp 1:08:13, this brief scene from the film is modeled after what's said in the anecdote, so just thought I'd share if you're interested. I love how they really did capture the essence of the moment.
If I'm not mistaken, this was just after baby Patrick's death? So here's some sweet Jack & Jackie love to end this post off with. 💔
