BEATLES MORPH THEORY MANIFESTO
HELLO TUMBLR. I AM THE REVEALER OF TRUTH REGARDING THE WRETCHED PHENOMENON THAT IS THE BEATLES MORPH THEORY, WHICH WAS SET IN MOTION BY PAUL MCCARTNEY HIMSELF.
Do you have a loved one who is a Beatles fan? Have they ever shown you a picture of the band, and as you gazed down at a member and then gazed back up at said loved one, you saw the same face? Maybe you thought it was a coincidence. It is not. The fact that you stumbled upon this blog is fate. I am here today to explain the Beatles Morph Conspiracy, also known as Paul McCartney's master plan for world domination.
The Beatles Morph Theory (also known as The Beatles Morph Conspiracy or Paulmorphcartneyism) refers to Paul McCartney's hiding of secret subliminal radio wave messages in all Beatles songs (including his and likely the others' solo careers) that infiltrate your DNA and slowly turn you into a Beatles-brainwashed Paul McCartney clone. When enough people are brainwashed, Paul will then utilize his Paul McCartney clone hivemind to create an army that will aid him in taking over the world. It is unknown why or how Paul McCartney aims to take over the world, or what will happen once he does, but there is more than substantial evidence suggesting everything I have said is completely, 100% true. "But what should I do with this catastrophic, mind-bending information?" you ask. First things first, try and avoid listening to ANY Beatles songs and/or any Beatles members' solo career songs, especially those which Paul had a large hand in making. It is unknown for now whether any other members are complicit, or that they are assembling their own clone armies, but to stay on the safe side i'd avoid listening to anything Beatles related. The current number of victims I am able to keep track of is only one, one of my teachers. I am and will continue to investigate him thoroughly.
About Me:
My name is John, but you can call me prophet, savior, revealer of truth, etc as well. I used to be a die-hard Beatles fan, i'll admit it, until I learned the truth... I remember when it happened..
it was late at night, and I was watching a very intelligent and intellectual video on the Beatles. As I gazed at the screen, it suddenly showed a picture of one Paul McCartney, and I felt a spark of recognition.. that was when I realized how similar one of my teachers looked to Paul... lo and behold, the next day he came dressed in Paul's Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band outfit and started playing the title track of the album. I knew then that something was really up. I felt a sudden wave of nausea, and ran to the bathroom. I gazed into the mirror, and in my face I saw just a hint of Paul McCartney's. It was horrifying. That was when I swore off of Beatles music and I began forming this theory.
I still keep tabs on my teacher, and believe him to be one of Paul's most diligent workers. I have a deep and primal hatred for Paul McCartney and all things related to him. I am also John Lennon reincarnated, and house his soul in my body.
I pray that you heed my warnings and are never subject to these terrible circumstances.
Never stop living in fear of the paulmorphcartneypocolypse, and have a fantastic day/night!