#peace corpse

[laughingupyoursleeve]

Peace Corpse (US 1980-86)

[nerds-yearbook]

Combine was formed in Avengers 323, cover date September 1990. Originally, Combine was made up of Illyich Prokvitch and Strokov. When Combine threatened Earth, the other Peace Corpse members (Mendev, Voroshilov, Allanson, and Kurystan) joined the combine to change its mind. Combine was created by Fabian Nicieza and Rik Levins. ("One World's Not Enough For Us" "The Man and the Wolf" Avengers 323, Marvel Comic Event)

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #320: UNDERLYING CURRENTS!

August, 1990

The Crossing Line Part 2 of Six VENGEANCE!

I don't know what Vision did that running him over with an underwater jet-ski is considered vengeance. Maybe it's not vengeance at all. Maybe it's just rude.

Also, Underlying Currents just seems like a less pithy way of saying Undercurrents.

Anyway.

The Crossing Line. Which is not the Crossing.

Last time in the Crossing Line: A Russian terrorist group called Peace Corpse (good wordplay) took over a British nuclear submarine called the Waterwind.

The British government called the US government and asked them to do something. So the US government called the Avengers and asked them to do something.

Since Namor wasn't available, what the Avengers did was contact their back-up underwater expert Stingray and fly off to find the Waterwind.

Which they did do but they found their Russian equivalent superhero group the People's Protectorate also trying to stop Peace Corpse. And instead of working together, the two groups got into a big, dumb superhero fight.

Which happened to be too close to Atlantis and aggroed the people still hanging around after it got double destroyed in Atlantis Attacks.

I like putting the cast up on the splash page. It starts strong because Captain America and Red Guardian, Vision and Vostok are pretty much counterparts.

Sersi and Fantasma don't have much in common besides being The Girl of the team.

And then Quasar ends up paired with Crimson Dynamo and Stingray with Perun which just makes you feel like the story is missing an Iron Man and a Thor.

Maybe a mistake there. Being a guy in a technological suit maybe Stingray should have been opposite Crimson Dynamo and Quasar opposite Perun?

Also, Atlanteans. They don't get a cast list on the splash. If they wanted in on that, they should have filled out the paperwork.

Crimson Dynamo: "Uhm... comrades...?" Quasar: "Now we're comrades, Dynamo? A second ago we were fighting over a stolen submarine!"

But be that as it may, Vision points out that it's in their best interest to team-up to prevent the Atlanteans from damaging the Waterwind. Which Vostok agrees to.

I guess we had the misunderstanding fight and now we can get along.

Crimson Dynamo points out that the Atlanteans might be justified since the two groups were having an exciting comic book fight scene right next to their city. But nobody listens to Crimson Dynamo.

His is the saddest lot.

Orka tries swiping at Vision and instead swipes through Vision because intangibility. But Vision also can't do his intangibility fisting trick because Orka is just too girthy.

He's a big whale man. He's got the whale power of blubber. Yes, even though he looks like a weightlifter.

Vostok uses his power over machinery to wrap Orka up in an Atlantean craft, bending and twisting the vehicle around the big, girthy whale man.

And with Orka held in place... uh, in water... Vision is able to dive intangible through his whole body to get to his heart and do the thing where he partially resolidifies and it hurts so much the person passes out.

That's what I mean when I say Vision fists people, by the way. It's his power move.

Vision: "It would seem, Vostok, that the Avengers and the People's Protectorate function more efficiently as allies than opponents!" Vostok: "Then-let-us-work-together-to-deter-the-Atlanteans--and-apprehend-the-Waterwind."

(I can just tell I'm going to avoid quoting Vostok as much as possible.)

Elsewhere in the fight, Sersi uses her matter transmutation to troll the Atlantean soldiers.

Excellent jape, Sersi.

The battle is going so immediately against the Atlanteans that U-Man decides to sneak attack Sersi. He claims that this is not in his character, to attack in a dishonorable manner.

I don't know this man but a quick glance at his marvel wiki shows that he worked with the Nazis so I dunno, man.

Either way, before he gets the chance, Perun hurls his mighty axe and strikes U-Man's underwater gun before he can fire at Sersi.

But, whoops, this causes the gun to misfire and strike the Waterwind.

The Peace Corpse group that hijacked the sub are startled, to put it mildly.

Most of them want to flee from this comic book nonsense as fast and as far as they can. Whatever their goals (still unelaborated on), fighting superheroes doesn't help them accomplish them.

A man with an intense mustache refuses to flee because he's a soldier dammit! But one of the others points out that they need to berth now due to the damage. They need the sub in well enough repair to threaten the United States for their vague plan.

Captain America and Red Guardian notice the Waterwind take damage and start to flee. And they discuss just letting the submarine flee so its out of the way of any more misaimed attacks.

But also, fighting the Atlanteans is pretty much a stupid distraction that they don't have time for.

Atlantean Soldier 1: "For our lost honor!" Atlantean Soldier 2: "For Atlantis!" Quasar: "For crying out loud!"

Stingray sees the sub amscraying and decides to get back to his plan of sneaking onboard. Remember how he was going to try that?

Well, he's going to try that again. He'd rather face a sub full of armed terrorists than bully some Atlanteans who are just protecting the ruins of their home.

Which... fair enough.

I say he'd rather but he's also not too happy about doing that either.

Stingray: "I should be able to get in through the aft torpedo tube without being detected... of course, once I get in, I have no idea what I'm going to do! I'm an oceanographer, not a super hero! I could've stayed at O.M.I.T. when Cap called... told him I had a hangnail or something... but no... If there's a problem under the ocean waves, they call Namor. If he's too busy to answer -- they call me. And noble, caring, altruistic dunce that I am, I always say yes."

It's fun that the Avengers have a superhero on their consultant list that's not a superhero. Just a normal oceanographer guy who built a suit for underwater exploration that unfortunately looks like a superhero outfit so he's constantly getting drawn into superhero stuff. The fact that he hangs out in Namor's general orbit doesn't help. The man is a drama magnet.

Despite the damage to the sub and specifically the radar, Peace Corpse manages to surface not only near land but near a port town. Somewhere in Newfoundland.

Inside the sub, Stingray finds and frees the captured crew from the room they've been locked in. But a member of Peace Corpse spots him.

Back at Atlantis, the Avengers and the People's Protectorate are still fighting Atlanteans.

Quasar starts to worry. Not about losing but that he might get so exhausted from prolonged fighting that he fails to pull his punches and kills a guy.

Ah, the worries of superheroes before the modern age.

There's just so many Atlanteans, that some are getting to the Quinjet and the PP craft and trying to smash the windshields in.

Quasar swoops in, makes a net to wrangle all the Atlanteans on the Quinjet, and then smashes the net full of guys into the guys on the PP craft. Solving that particular issue.

I'm still not sure why the Avengers and People's Proetectorate haven't withdrawn once the sub was clear. This is the very definition of a derailed plot.

But the two hero groups don't need to ever get around to acting on the realization that they don't even need to be here because the Atlanteans withdraw on their own once Perun knocks out Tyrak, the last named guy on the Atlantean side.

Such a weird writing decision for the heroes to constantly go 'wow this is a pointless fight' and then keep fighting until the other side fucks off.

The two teams return to their respective vessels (just in time for the ones who like to breathe air) and decide what to do next.

FOR SOME REASON, despite the constant refrain of how pointless it is to fight the Atlanetans, who are just protecting their ruined home, its a serious consideration whether to pursue the Atlanteans all the way to the ruins and keep kicking their asses.

I have no idea why.

Captain America even says he hates to let the Atlanteans escape but dealing with the Waterwind is more important.

IT IS but why do you hate to let the Atlanteans escape? What is your end goal there? You've already kicked their asses. Have they done anything (recently) that gives you cause to... arrest them? The writing around this plot point is so weird.

Anyway, both groups agree to pursue the Waterwind.

Stingray calls in and reports that he's on the Waterwind and where the Waterwind has surfaced. And since there are berthing and repair facilities, Stingray even narrows the possible location down to the bays of Trinity, Placentia, or Conception.

Not bad for a guy who can't even look out a window.

But the call suddenly cuts off, leading Captain America to fear that Stingray was attacked.

The Avengers and People's Protectorate agree to work together to stop the sub, especially since it is now surfaced near a populated area and has an operational nuclear arsenal.

Captain America: "Let's do it then -- together -- efficiently -- but cautiously!"

And then the narration reveals that the Waterwind is surfaced in Conception Bay in St. John's Newfoundland and that "after today, it will be known as the site of the world's worst nuclear detonation" so my condolences to Conception Bay.

Sucks that you are going to get destroyed in a fill-in arc.

Off-panel, the Peace Corpse member with the fabulous mustache, Strokov, has captured Stingray and recaptured the rest of the hostages. But he let Stingray make his call to the Avengers to force leader Illyich Prokvitch's hand.

According to Strokov, now Prokvitch has no choice but to execute the vague plan.

The Avengers and the People's Protectorate arrive but they can't move right away because of all the hostages.

Captain America tries to see if Sersi can be the Win Button but like I've said, with powers as plot breaking as hers, they can never make things too easy.

He wants her to turn all the terrorists into flies but she says she's too far from them to do it. And she doesn't know enough about how nuclear submarines work to transmute it either.

Oh, so I guess she needs to know a thing before she can transmute a thing. Very Full Metal Alchemist of her and also a logical limit on her powers.

Well written, Fabian Nicieza.

Mr. Illyich Prokvitch, leader of the Peace Corpse, gets on the bullhorn and loudly announces he demands access to St. John's maritime facilities.

Captain America says hell no, release the hostages instead.

Prokvitch says he'll start executing the hostages - starting with poor, sweet Stingray - one every five minutes until his demands are met.

So the heroes take a huddle.

Cold, calculating Vostok points out that the Waterwind can't launch its nuclear arsenal while surfaced. And if they kill all their hostages, then there's nothing to stop the heroes from punching them in the faces in abooooout five hours.

Captain America does not like the suggestion that they just let over a hundred people be murdered.

But Vision offers his own computer-brained opinion that because the hostages are so necessary to keep the heroes from punching Peace Corpse in their faces, logic dictates that Peace Corpse will hesitate to harm their hostages.

Cap decides this does seem logical, thanks computer-brained Vision, and yells at Peace Corpse that he's not going to accept their terms as given. Y'know, leaving the door open for some haggling. Some negotiation. A little diplomacy.

Instead, Prokvitch shoots Stingray in the head.

You might not have a future career as a hostage negotiator, Cap.

(I'm pretty sure Stingray is alive because I've seen him alive in later comics and also there's no blood and also he's wearing a helmet. I'm sure his ears are ringing, though.)

Quasar tries to rush in at seeing Stingray shot, held back by Cap.

Red Guardian argues that at this point they should just call it acceptable casualties and just rush over and punch Peace Corpse.

But suddenly A NEW CHALLENGER!

Guardian: "No citizens and no property will be placed in jeopardy without our say so. In case you've forgotten, you're on Canadian soil, which means jurisdiction of this little mess passes on to -- ALPHA FLIGHT"

So now we have a third superhero team in the mix.

I love it. How many more people can we get involved? A lot, I'd bet. This is a six part story.

Hopefully, someone on Alpha Flight is a better hostage negotiator than Captain America.

To sum up the issue: there's more of the issue to go. Remember that backup story thing? Where Jarvis tormented Jarvis? We're due more of that. Well, more of something like that.

CHANGING of the GUARD

Instead of Jarvis, Michael O'Brien. The Avengers chief of security. And, for some reason, chief of table acquisition.

The original table, which was probably always consistently portrayed don't even bother looking into it, was destroyed when Hydrobase sank.

So O'Brien just spent fifty thousand dollars on a new one. And instead of getting a dolly or an anti-gravity dolly (because this IS a comic book universe), he's getting two dudes to carry it by hand.

Maybe stick to security, O'Brien.

He has the table brought to the room which will become the Avengers' inner sanctum, where only Avengers will be allowed. Like a very exclusive club but instead of drinks and cigars, there will be discussions on the crisis of the month.

After sending the two table carrying guys away, O'Brien spots the flash of a light down a corridor where nobody is supposed to be.

Obviously, he goes to investigate by himself.

Where he is accosted by his dead brother, Kevin, in a set of the Guardsman armor.

There's history here which I don't know very well because I haven't read a lot of olde Iron Man comics. But apparently, Kevin got jealous of Tony's money and girlfriend. So he used the Guardsman armor Tony built him, teamed up with a dude who was trying to steal Tony Stark's stock, and attacked a protest at a Stark Industries plant.

Just going off marvel wiki here.

Tony was forced to fight him as Iron Man and accidentally blew Kevin the fuck up.

His death inspired Michael to put on the Guardsman armor and attack Iron Man but after some plot happenings, Tony was able to convince Michael that his dead brother was nuts.

Which Kevin is not thrilled to hear now.

How dare Michael believe Tony over his own kin? That and not using his brogue probably makes him a traitor to his Irish heritage!

Michael thinks that this Kevin is probably an imposter and tries to unmask him. Only to get flipped.

So he runs off to get a gun.

He finds one of the emergency guns that the Avengers Sub-Basement just has and threatens to shoot Kevin in the head.

Kevin calls his bluff and tells him to do it. What's it matter to a ghost? Turn your back on family, dick.

And Michael can't go through with it.

Michael: "I... can't, Kevin. I did -- do -- love you, no matter what you did. Do with me as you will."

So Kevin blows Michael the hell up.

Geez. Being confronted with his demons ended a lot worse for him than it did for Jarvis.

Is this part of getting rid of everything new Stern wanted to implement before he got fired? Hydrobase got sunk so are the Avengers Support Crew all going to be killed off?

Grim if true. John Jameson is one of the support peeps and he's a tertiary Spider-Man supporting cast member.

I guess I'll see next time. But we pop back over to Avengers West Coast first. There's a dumb Immortus plot to wrap up.

Follow @essential-avengers. Like and reblog. Have a good day.

[ratpunx]

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #324: The Crossing Line Part 6: IMAGINARY BORDERS

October, 1990

NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST!

Finally, we reach the end of the Crossing Line. In which at no point is the title the Crossing Line explained. I've heard that the Crossing, that infamous Avengers storyline, also doesn't really explain itself. Maybe both stories are named for making people cross. Who can say?

Anyway, last time in Avengers: Russian terrorist group Peace Corpse hijacked a nuclear submarine to try to cause World War III to fix the world economy.

The Avengers were called in to try to get the sub back. The Russian group, the People's Protectorate also showed up because leader Red Guardian knew Peace Corpse's leader. Due to a lot of dumb fighting, the two groups aggroed a group of Atlanteans. And the action shifted to Canada, so Alpha Flight got involved.

Captain America proceeded to bungle a hostage crisis and fucked up so bad while storming the sub that Canada exploded. Alpha Flight's shaman slurped up the explosion, the city, and an entire chunk of Canada into his magical bag of holding.

Everyone had to get along and cooperate to reunite with the bag dimensions but they found that leaving the bag would instantly kill them with radiation.

Then the Peace Corpse leader and his lieutenant show up as a giant naked radioactive conjoined man, who still wants to cause World War III.

I have all the context and I still don't quite understand why this is happening.

It's all a metaphor for a post-Cold War world, probably.

Vision: "It would appear that their biological link to the Waterwind radically altered them when the submarine's nuclear payload detonated." Captain America: "No need to belabor the obvious, Vision."

The obvious?? The only reason I buy that as an explanation for what happened is because it clearly happened and there's no other explanation offered.

Anyway, the giant naked man is named Combine, because he is two guys Combine-d into one. And he wants to help everyone leave the bag of holding dimension so they can shotgun radioactive fallout all over the world.

He's not here to be helpful.

Box forms some guns and tries shooting at Combine but combine laughs off bullets and then eye lasers Box the fuck unconscious.

A big radioactive conjoined naked man fight floating in a void doesn't give all the characters a way to join the fight. So Puck, Stingray, Red Guardian, Diamond Lil, an unconscious Sersi, an unconscious Box, and Fantasma chill with the civilians.

Vostok uses his technopathy on the Box armor to turn it into a wall to keep the civilians safe from stray shots.

Meanwhile, Fantasma meditates to contact Shaman in the outside world. Just to touch base. Tell him about the giant naked man.

Shaman is not holding up too well. Containing a chunk of Canada and a bunch of people in his mystic satchel of holding is not what it was meant for. And the strain is making him bleed from his face holes, as strain sometimes does to characters whose gifts aren't in the more mental or mystical department.

The long and short and the teal deer is that the People's Avengers Flight need to wrap this up soon or Shaman might be unable to get them out at all.

They also don't really have a plan to wrap it up. Just determination from Captain America that they can't let Combine release all the radiation. If they have to be stuck in the mystic satchel to prevent him from poisoning the planet, well, that's what heroes do.

Perun: "Ho! Have at thee, pontificating buttocks-touching baboons!!"

You're a treat, Perun.

And Combine isn't one of those unstoppable cosmic powers that the Avengers et al are way over their heads with.

As Vision, Perun, Guardian, Crimson Dynamo, and Quasar hammer him, Combine complains that their stupid, ineffectual attacks are wearing down his (their?) supply of radiation.

Combine can absorb more radiation. From the various people trapped in the bag of holding or from the inanimate objects that got hoovered up. But that's not a bad thing either, since once something/someone has been cleansed, they or it can be released from the satchel.

The only problem is the balancing act of making sure Combine doesn't slurp up so much radiation that he murders all of the People's Avengers Flight members fighting him.

Also, now Team Don't Irradiate the World does have a plan.

The other Peace Corpse members who didn't turn into a giant, naked radioactive conjoined man have had a change of heart.

Some guy: "We understand your doubt, Captain, but it is through your own actions -- and those of the others -- that we have seen the error of our ways! Through your efforts, you not only saved your own lives, but those of hundreds of innocents and the very people who threatened you to begin with!"

Feels like the other Peace Corpse members should have gotten more focus to sell this change of heart. But I think we're supposed to view it the same as the Atlanteans coming together to work with everyone.

Whatever.

Anyway, the other Peace Corpse guys suggest that they be merged with Combine so they can out-vote Illyich and Strokov.

Puck: "Democratic principles in a communist villain?! Don't you just love this international thing here?"

Now, you can't just throw Peace Corpse at Combine and expect them to bloop together. Illyich and Strokov were fused because they were wired into the missile computer or whatever nonsense it was.

But Sersi can do it, with her matter transmutation power!

Except she's unconscious from all the strain of using her powers and then getting psychically whammied by Combine!

But Fantasma can just hijack Sersi's powers like she did in the previous issue!

Poor Sersi and Box. Cool stuff is happening with their powers in this issue. But they're both unconscious and someone else is using their stuff.

I guess that's the international cooperation in work.

Fantasma helps Captain America manifest as a giant head to explain the plan to the heroes who are busy fighting Combine.

Captain America: "We have a plan -- but it requires your help -- all of you must continue to pound the Combine relentlessly! Don't let up -- once their resolve is weakened... the remaining members of the Peace Corpse will enter their group mind and force the Combine to absorb our radiation from us!" Perun: "That sounds ridiculous!" Crimson Dynamo: "Of course it does, friend Perun... Which means it will probably work perfectly!"

I can almost imagine the exhaustion in Dynamo's voice. As he grapples in that moment with the insanity of living in a comic book universe where nonsense is just reality.

While Team Fight Combine fights Combine, Fantasma takes Sersi's unconscious body and starts bringing the remainder of Peace Corpse towards Combine.

Meanwhile, Combine has absorbed radiation from enough people and material for Shaman to start bringing people through.

Tyrak: "Avenger! Allow us to go first -- we are perilously close to death as it is. If someone is to be used to test the magician's theories, it may as well be us." U-Man: "After all, what difference if a few Atlanteans die?" Captain America: "All life is precious to us, Meranno, yours included. But if you're volunteering, then let's do it. We don't have much time..."

So Shaman dumps people and stuff out of his bag of holding and huzzah, the radiation is gone.

The Atlanteans are able to hydrate and save the human civilians that landed in the water.

Back in the bag space, Vision puts into motion his secret plan.

... He just does what he always does. He intangibles. In fairness, he doesn't fist. He usually fists. But Combine is just too dang big. So he flies through him instead and does him a distraction.

That lets Guardian do her thing. And her thing is apparently a "gravitational shunt."

She instant transmissions. Even including the POP!

The non-Combine members of Peace Corpse are shoved into Peace Corpse, leading to a discussion as everyone fights for consensus.

"--No! You cannot control us -- our cause is just!" "No, Illyich, my friend -- your actions, your decision to unite the world through war was wrong!" It's true, Illyich! An international enclave of heroes has shown us the way of the future!" "That was is through might! We must use force to further the needs of our country and our planet!" "No, Strokov -- it's not through force of might, or through personal gered. We've learned that now!" "It is through mutual dependency, mutual cooperation, and mutual desire!" "Do you see inside our minds now, Illyich? Strokov?" "I -- I -- see --" "Then we must atone for the error of our ways, comrades."

Outvoted. Democracy in action!

The new Combine absorbs all of the excess radiation and form a giant hand-holding circle of naked people.

And like a lot of throwaway cosmically powerful characters in fill-in stories, the Combine decides to fuck off into (bag) space to explore reality.

We'll never see them again.

But at least they learned that borders aren't real.

Shaman is just about to collapse and the dimensional vortex too so everyone still in the bag dimension books it back through to planet Earth.

Just one entire half hour later, everyone is getting ready to go their separate ways.

The Atlanteans have fucked off. Apparently, Captain America talked with them before they left, telling them that Attuma would be treated fairly in his war crimes trial.

Didn't realize that was a thing.

Anyway, they Atlanteans also expressed interest in getting some humanitarian aid. Considering Atlantis got blown up twice in one event.

The People's Protectorate fuck off, on good terms with the Avengers. And since this is Canada, the Avengers fuck off, leaving Alpha Flight to watch them go.

Guardian: "We did ourselves and our country proud, gang. Funny, to be part of an ideological struggle between the world's super powers, wasn't it?" Puck: "Sort of makes you wonder what the worth of ideology really amounts to, eh? After all, we don't owe the children of tomorrow a bit of our ideologies and foolish way.s We just owe them a world in which they can choose to create their own... for the better, one hopes..."

Is THAT what we learned from all of this?

I thought we learned... something about democracy and working together? Idunno.

Let's just transition into the back-up feature so I don't have to sort out themes.

So we finally learn who has been messing with the Avengers Support Crew and who called them all out to the park last issue.

It is Mother Night!

I haven't heard of her! But she works for the Red Skull and seems to have power over perception.

She's also, maybe, a bit of a doofus. Calling the Avengers Crew for a big dramatic reveal without thinking that construction workers might wander through.

Her powers let her get away with it but she did have to pause her dramatic speech to disguise herself.

Mother Night takes the Avengers Crew outside the grounds to a blood donation truck where Minister Blood and Machinesmith are waiting.

Minister Blood wasn't around when this evil scheme was set into motion so Night Explains It All.

She and Machinesmith have been staking out the Avengers' headquarters for two weeks. Night disguised herself as a lady walking her dog and hypnotized Jarvis as he was on his way to the mansion. Then, she planted a micro-transmitter in his inner ear. And did the same with the rest of the Crew over the next days. With that micro-transmitter, she could trigger a traumatic hallucination.

Which is what was happening in all the back-up stories.

Now, with the Avengers Crew in her power, Mother Night and Minister Blood are going to perform psychic surgery to implant post-hypnotic commands for later.

Which apparently consists of the same traumatic experiences again but this time Mother Night saves them in exchange for them doing favors for her. But the favors will be done subconsciously and the Crew won't remember any of this except as a hazy dream.

Minister Blood: "So how long has the Skull been planning this little venture?" Mother Night: "Johann doesn't know a thing about it, Minister. Using their civilian workers to bug the Avengers' new headquarters was all my idea. When the job's complete, I'm going to give Johann a bank of video monitors to correspond to every bug they plant. I think the Red Skull is going to just adore the birthday present I got him, don't you?"

Making him a birthday gift. First-name basis. This woman I've never heard of and the Red Skull must be close. Like the closest of acquaintances.

So, all those back-up stories were written by Mark Gruenwald, who is also writing the entirety of Avengers #325.

So he's setting something up. We'll see what. Because I'm covering that issue before I head into the Terminus Factor, the linked annuals story for the Avengers.

Stay tuned!

Follow @essential-avengers and don't forget to like, reblog, subscribe, hit that bell, and fell that tree.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers #323: The Crossing Line Part 5: ONE WORLD'S NOT ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US

September, 1990

GROUND ZERO! Guest starring ALPHA FLIGHT

Aw geez.

Alpha Flight is looking pretty chipper considering Canada is exploding behind them.

Plus, the Avengers have mutated into giant disembodied heads.

I guess the People's Protectorate don't get to be giant disembodied heads.

Last time in Avengers:

THE AVENGERS NUKED CANADA.

Well, more specifically, Peace Corpse nuked Canada by setting up a fail-safe that went off when the Avengers punched the two ringleaders in the face and disconnecting them from the missiles.

But Captain America has been bungling this entire The Crossing Line incident. Spent more time fighting their Russian counterparts instead of the terrorists who hijacked a nuclear submarine. And then he played hardball during a hostage crisis and got Stingray shot in the head. And then the thing with the failsafe.

Dammit, Cap, you got Canada nuked!

So... What's the book about now? Giant disembodied atomic heads?

Okay. So.

The Avengers didn't get blown up.

Can you imagine?

Captain America, Red Guardian, Vision, Vostok, and Peace Corpse minus the two main dudes are floating in a mysterious, speckled void. The cheetah dimension, perhaps.

Weirdly, Vostok's sensors read the cheetah as biologically active.

That's unsettling.

Fantasma telepathically contacts Cap and reveals that she, Sersi, and a whole bunch of civilians are in a fire dimension. Sersi is having to strain her powers to not only shield the group from the fire but also to keep the temperature within her shield bearable.

Because. Heat. It goes to where there's less of it.

Also, Sersi and Fantasma are the only woman of their respective groups and they've been forced together by circumstance and so they've decided to spend the time being catty.

Weird flex, writer Fabian Nicieza.

When Sersi tells Fantasma to ask Cap, telepathically, whether there's any way he can get them out of the fire dimension:

Fantasma: "Calm yourself, Eternal!"

Sersi: "Don't talk to me that way, you haggling witch!"

These two have barely contributed to the plot and now this.

Fantasma manages to contact Shaman who knows what's going on because he fucking did it. He did the thing that's going on.

When Cap et al fucked up so bad that they nuked Canada, Shaman turned his mystic pouch inside-out.

And apparently his mystic pouch was just packed with dimensional planes.

Then he pulled the pouch inside-inside-out, slurping up all those dimensional planes and also the explosion and also a chunk of Canada.

He's just kind of floating over a hole where the town was.

Annnnd. He can't... quite... just put everything back. So easily.

He needs the peeps inside to draw the various dimensional planes together, for reasons. And quickly because the mystic pouch warranty didn't cover this and it may just break.

What the hell is this plot? We started off with a airport paperback Cold War thriller with a hijacked submarine and now everyone got sucked into a pocket dimension.

Meanwhile, in the cheetah dimension, thin air starts shooting lasers at people.

Vision can just intangible but he notes that he still feels it passing through him, which means those lasers are packing a lot of power.

Cap tells Sersi and Fantasma that he doesn't know how long he can hold out in the cheetah, laser dimension.

Sersi: "Wouldn't the colloquial response be 'welcome to the club'...?"

Fantasma taps into Sersi's mighty psychic powers (even apologizing for how it's going to hurt like hell) to search the pouchaverse for more of the missing peeps.

And she finds another group, in a dimension of water.

Quasar and Crimson Dynamo float above the waves. Crimson Dynamo's armor is running low on power. And Quasar is having to focus on keeping the place lit up so they can see if anybody starts drowning.

Because, yeah, dimension of pure water doesn't have any light.

Puck, Perun, Diamond Lil, and Box sans his armor are treading water. Also, Tyrak and Orka are here. They're just vibing.

Fantasma projects an image of herself to team water world. She fills them in on the mystic pouch stuff and that they need to find a dimensional nexus that connects the planes.

Tyrak has some opinions to share about that.

Tyrak: "Why should we Atlanteans believe you? We can survive here -- we will wait until this nuclear squall clears and then we --" Perun: "Look around, you scale-infested oxygen-deprived lobotomzied minnow! The skies are black, the water purple! We are not on Earth! I will gladly fight you til eternity's end, Tyrak, but if you ever want to see your home again -- you land -- your loved ones -- we will have to work together! Do you understand cretin?!" Tyrak: "What must we do, woman?"

Hah, Perun is fun.

That string of insults was something else.

Meanwhile, in the energy dimension, Vostok finds the Box armor. He's able to use his synthezoid powers to interface with the systems to maneuver it.

Meanwhile, the rest of everyone, in the desert dimension.

Guardian is leading a huge pack of civilians, U-Man, and Stingray. And nobody is doing well. U-Man is dehydrating fast. STingray has a concussion, and the civilians are getting exhausted from marching through the desert.

Fantasma psychically projects to Guardian and tells her she needs to get everyone to the desert plane's nexus so she can reunite with everyone. And Guardian passes the info along to everyone else that they now have a concrete destination.

Guardian: "The Russian woman -- Fantasma -- she told me we have a chance of finding the others and a way out of here. But we have to go back. I'll fly ahead, you lead the others." Stingray: "The fact that I'm operating with a major concussion doesn't matter to you?' Guardian: "No. Just do it."

Ha.

But this has been such a trying day for Stingray. He didn't even want to be here and all he's gotten is grief.

Back in the energy dimension, Vostok turned the Box armor and maybe some other parts, I dunno, into a neat looking spaceship.

Team energy dimension is feeling worn down. They've been traveling in the direction Sersi told them for almost two days.

But when Sersi contacts them again, she tells them it's barely been five minutes on her side. So I guess time is flowing differently in different parts of the mystic pouch pocket dimension.

In order to get the energy and fire dimensions to touch, Shaman has to compress the energies of the pouch. "Both physically and spiritually."

Which means he's gotta scrunch the pouch in his hands.

Yes, really.

Sersi has to open a gap in her force field to let the tether from the Box Ship in. She warns everyone to get back but the nearest people still get badly burned by the heat that comes pouring in even that small hole.

As badly strained as Sersi is, she can't pull the ship through the vortex by herself. She asks Vision to help her.

Vision: "To do so would require I solidify my form. To solidify my form would subject me to the potentially terminal ravages of this environment." Sersi: "I know what I ask of you, Avenger! It is no less than we have all had to give!" Vision: "I am well aware of that and am acting accordingly."

And he do. He suffers from cosmetic damage to his synthetic skin but they get the ship through. Vostok warns that he won't be able to maintain this construct much longer in this heat but Sersi tells him that won't be a problem for much longer.

So the heroes get everyone aboard the Box Ship and next travel through the portal to the water dimension.

Vostok reshapes the ship again to be more of an open boat so they can fit more people on board.

It was an entire town that got slurped up in this mess.

As he helps people out of the water, Captain America marvels. But doesn't Captain Marvels.

Captain America: "Even Tyrak is helping! Our differences -- the angers we just recently had -- all put aside for the sake of survival."

I feel like that's the thesis of this story.

Peace Corpse thought the only way to bring the world together and Fix Everything was to spark another world war. Because Peace Corpse is dumb.

But by having three different superhero teams and a squad of named Atlanteans all having to work together to survive this madness, the comic says 'maybe there is a better way than Peace Corpse's stupid dumb idea.'

Although, uniting the world for survival is what leads to Ozymandias Watchmen and his giant octopus psychic alien scheme so bear in mind that no idea should be taken to extremes.

New problem though. Vostok is worn out, I guess, and Box pilot Madison Jeffries says he can't fly the Box armor with so many people.

He can turn the armor into a flying chair, a la Metron's Mobius chair, with a tether that everyone can hang onto.

But there will be no protection from the void.

Captain America: "Sersi -- can you provide a protective sheath -- similar to the field you recently erected -- around each of us individually?" Sersi: "And still telepathically scan for Guardian's nexus? I believe I can, Captain. Just be certain my funeral is a lavish one upon your return to Earth."

I love that Sersi sass.

'I'll die for your cause but my funeral better kick ass.'

And with new Eternal lore, she'd pop right back up so she could personally make sure they don't half-ass the event.

The amazing chair and its trailing tail finds Guardian's group and all the people in the bag of holding are finally together.

So Shaman can finally start letting some people out. But first he has to put some land for them to stand on. And then Guardian insists that the civilians be rescued first.

Oof.

That first group of civilians released is almost immediately skeletonized by the radiation. Including an on-panel child death, geez.

When Shaman slurped up the land, the people, and the nuclear explosion, that meant he slurped up the radiation too. And it's apparently not a problem inside the bag for whatever mystical reasons or because of different laws of physics.

But back on planet Earth, that much radiation kills people dead. And Shaman can't sift the radiation out from all the people. That'd be crazy.

Since that's not bonkers enough, a giant, naked and conjoined Prokvitch and Strokov show up, promising to help everyone return to Earth.

Captain America: "Why do you want to help us? If you return us to Earth now, not only will the radiation kill us, it will also poison the planet!" Combine: "Yes... we know."

I suspect that these dudes that planned to start a nuclear war on purpose are, in fact, assholes.

Also, remember when this was an airport paperback political thriller plot? Now we've got enormous conjoined dudes with cosmic swooshes covering their junk.

What a weird situation.

Anyway, more tales of The Avengers Crew

This time starring John Jameson, aka the former Man-Wolf.

Fun fact: Werewolf just means manwolf so Man-Wolf is just a werewolf. But specifically a space werewolf tied to a hunk of shiny mineral.

John is enjoying his life as the Avengers' pilot, enjoying an automated ride on the secret Avengers subway that goes from the Subbasement to the sub bay.

But when he arrives back at the Subbasement, he is shocked - horrified, even! - to find the moon-stone that turned him into the werewolf Man-Wolf!

So, obviously, he picks it up in disbelief and it jumps on his throat and turns him into Man-Wolf again. And he gets the zoomies.

Man-Wolf zooms through the Subbasement and mauls each member of the Avengers Support Crew that have gotten these little back-up stories.

Jarvis. Michael O'Brien. Fabian Stankowicz. Peggy Carter.

I thought that two of those people were already dead but whatever. They get to be mauled. We're not leaving people out.

And then a voice sounds out through the Subbasement, commanding the Avengers Crew.

Voice: "Arise, Jameson... Carter... O'Brien... Stankowicz... Jarvis... Scurry out of your cubby-holes... Come out to the courtyard! Ah! Like dutiful little zombies they come! Hear me, you five! Now that I've tricked you into revealing each darkest secrets... Your guiltiest fears, you are in my power forevermore!"

The back-up plot thickens. Next time, apparently, we'll learn what the heck is going on.

And next week, we're doing another Avengers post. So you don't even have to wait two weeks. Ain't that grand?

Follow @essential-avengers. Like and reblog. Comment. Hit the bell icon. Send me money. Pledge your fealty to the Wasp. All hail the glow cloud.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers #322: The Crossing Line Part 4: BOMBS AWAY!

September, 1990

ESCALATION!

One wonders what's left to escalate. Peace Corpse started shooting hostages. The Avenging People Flight stormed the sub and took them out. The last two terrorists are wired into some nukes. I guess the Atlanteans might escalate the situation.

Anyway, that was very nearly a recap so lets cover the rest.

Last times on Avengers: Russian terrorist group Peace Corpse hijacked British nuclear submarine, the Waterwind. The British government called the American government called Stingray and off they went to find a sub.

Russian superhero group the People's Protectorate were also trying to find the sub and wound up squabbling with the Avengers. Their fighting was too close to the ruins of Atlantis so the Atlanteans got involved too. So the Avengers and Protectorate combined forces to kick Atlantean ass.

In the ruckus, the Waterwind got damaged and the terrorists fled to Newfoundland for repairs. The heroes showed up, Captain America got hostage Stingray shot, and then Alpha Flight showed up.

They let Peace Corpse berth for repairs and then put together a plan to storm the sub and that brings us back to paragraph one.

Atlantis Attacks?

No

NO!

I can't go back! I won't go back!

Okay, we're at the seeming end of the terrorist sub hijacking plot, given that there's just two dudes left. But only on part 4 out of 6 so I guess the Atlanteans are here to muddle things up so the plot lasts longer.

The superheroes leap to the correct conclusion that the Atlanteans are here to mess with the sub and leap into action against them.

Quasar puts a light net around Tyrak, lightly boasting that he was able to handle Tyrak back when they were underwater so maybe back off.

Perun goes to fight Orka. He's our resident Thor-expy and Orka fought Thor once. It just makes sense.

Orka: "You wish to pit your puny surface might against that of Orka?" Perun: "Aye, blubber-laden one!" Orka: "So be it! Orka is tired of talk!" Perun: "And I am offended by your breath, you bulbous buffoon! Be silent and accept the punishment at hand!"

Some good smack talk here.

Crimson Dynamo and Guardian team up to zap the Atlanteans jetskis, to keep them from the Waterwind and the civilian evacuation.

Meanwhile, Sersi, Shaman, and Fantasma keep at the evacuation efforts. Moving people away from the Waterwind in case it explodes and moving them to the Port Au Port Bay on the other end of the island.

Shaman uses the teleportation spells from his mystic pouch. Fantasma uses her magic to hide the evacuation effort from the Atlanteans. And Sersi uses her abilities to telekinesis civilians out of harm's way.

Tyrak OH YEAHS out of Quasar's light net.

Quasar tells Tyrak that he was actually going easy on him so Tyrak grabs him by the cape and slams him into the jetski.

Geez, Quasar. Banter better.

Guardian goes to help Quasar, leaving Puck to fight the rank and file Atlanteans. And Crimson Dynamo tackles U-Man, generating heat from his armor to dehydrate and weaken the Atlantean.

Meanwhile, Orka breaks the ship he and Perun are fighting on to force the fight into the water for a home-field advantage. Where he promptly starts kicking the shit out of Perun.

Box is in the water in submersible mode and spots this. He grabs Orka from behind and hits him with enough electricity to knock him out. Although it also drains the Box armor of the rest of its power.

Box's pilot, Madison Jeffries, is forced to abandon armor underwater and rely on Perun to drag him to the surface.

Perun: "I thank you for your help... and I will hit you very hard later for interfering in the only decent fray I'd had in months!" Box: "Fair-nuff."

Hah, you're fun, Perun.

He just wants a good dust-up. A good scrap. A rousing round of fisticuffs.

Meanwhile, inside the Waterwind.

Captain America, Red Guardian, Vision, and Vostok. Illyich Prokvitch and Strokov. All sitting together in the missile room, having a casual chat.

Such light topics as "Why are you doing this, Illyich Prokvitch?"

And Red Guardian dramatically revealing his true identity to Prokvitch.

He's not just a "weak-willed glasnost lover." He's Josef Petkus, the son of Prokvitch's best pal. And Prokvitch was Josef's sponsor and military academy instructor.

Red Guardian: "Tell me now that I am not the product of what you have made me!" Prokvitch: "And I am the product of what the world has made me! I am a soldier, Josef, a warrior! And the only way left for Mother Russia is to unite the nations of this world in a mutual goal -- war!"

This fuckin' Metal Gear-esque villain gives a little monologue about how the world is in decline and how the world will be good for the economy. And while he's talking, Vision and Vostok start fussing with the wires connecting the two terrorists to the missile controls.

Strokov: "Get away from wires, robots! NOW!! See, Prokvitch -- see what they do while you prattle your ideology away -- we must act now!" Vision: "Sir, my companion and I are synthezoids, not robots, as you claim."

That doesn't seem like the primary thing in the exchange, Vision.

Red Guardian re-rails the conversation, asking Prokvitch if he really believes a global nuclear war is really the best idea.

Prokvitch: "I believe no choice is left but to try, Josef!"

THERE SEEMS LIKE THERE COULD BE A LOT OF OTHER THINGS TO TRY

Red Guardian: "What about Anna and your children, Illyich? What about my mother and sister? What happens to them?" Prokvitch: "Do not seek to distract me further!"

Prokvitch is trying to talk the economy. Don't distract him with stuff like human lives!

Also, Strokov keeps yelling at Vision and Vostok, warning them that if either him or Prokvitch is injured or killed or if they fool around with the controls, the nuclear warheads will explode.

Vision and Vostok move back over to Captain America's side of the room and tell him that they could disconnect the cybernetic link between the two terrorists and the nuclear arsenal if given enough time.

Since the terrorists could detonate at the speed of thought if they give the proper codes, Captain America decides the best idea is to wait for the right moment and then sever the link before they can react.

Meanwhile, outside, apparently the fight against the Atlanteans has been going on for hours?? Two hours and change, specifically.

That's what Shaman is saying. He's been teleporting people the whole time and he's getting tired.

Guardian and Puck are still fighting mooks. And Quasar is still fighting Tyrak. Perun sees Quasar struggling and just goes 'my fight now'

Quasar leaves Puck to go check on Crimson Dynamo.

The red-armored iron foe has U-Man in a full nelson. He complains that he's had him in a full nelson for three hours and that the Atlantean is super stinky when he's sweaty (what? did we lose another hour? time is warped and space is bendable...)

Guardian asks how Crimson Dynamo's power reserves are. Whether he has enough in his tank to finish the fight.

Dynamo isn't sure so Guardian just yoinks U-Man out of his hands and... just... stops existing??

What a weird day.

Meanwhile, Quasar has gotten fed up with fighting Tyrak for however many hours we're up to.

Quasar: "I've been holding back, Tyrak -- both out of sympathy to your plight and respect for my principles! But you haven't appreciated one and ridiculed the other! So the kid gloves are OFF!!"

And then Quasar just instantly kicks Tyrak's ass.

Although, Tyrak isn't really ready to call it quits yet. He's kinda got his heart set on someone dying from this.

Meanwhile, inside the sub, Red Guardian continues to try to appeal to Prokvitch's emotions, reminding him that family members exist and would hate living through a nuclear war.

And Prokvitch is wavering! The appeals are working their way under his skin!

Exceptttttt also happening is that Vision and Vostok have disconnected the relays between the terrorists and the nukes and gave both shield heroes the signal to clonk the bad guys in the heads.

The day is saved, surely.

Exceptttt...

Prokvitch: "Ughhh... What have you idiots done?! By severing the ties you have automatically activated the fail-safe!!" Captain America: "fail-safe?"

Damn but is Captain America making bad judgement calls today. He lets himself get distracted fighting Russians and Atlanteans instead of addressing the hijacked submarine. He misreads the hostage situation so badly that he gets Stingray shot. And now he gets Canada blown up.

This never would have happened while Monica Rambeau led the team.

I guess the Avengers are all dead now. From now on this book will be reprints of Avengers West Coast.

We're sticking with this story arc until it's done, so next week more The Crossing Line. But right now, more backup stories about the Avengers Support Crew!

A feel good series where they're tormented by their greatest failings.

This time, poor Peggy Carter, the Avengers' communications officer and aunt of Captain America's love interest Sharon Carter.

Peggy is all excited to try out the new communications and monitoring equipment that's been set up in the Avengers Subbasement.

She's so excited, she decides to check in on the Avengers' mission in Newfoundland (the A-plot) so she can also tell him how rad her new set-up is.

But instead of opening hailing frequencies, Peggy accidentally plays archival footage of Sharon Carter burning to death.

Which, apparently happened.

She and Peggy were given an assignment by SHIELD to infiltrate the National Force but Sharon was caught and brainwashed to set herself on fire.

So when Burning Sharon actually shows up in the communications room, she poses the question is it fair that she set herself on fire and died while Peggy escaped unscathed and now has a rad job with the Avengers? Didn't Peggy promise she'd keep Sharon out of trouble when she followed in her footsteps and joined SHIELD? Because if you ask Sharon, dying is definitely trouble!

Because of survivor's guilt, Peggy agrees that it really is unfair and that it should have happened to her instead, since Sharon had so much more life to live.

So Sharon tells her to join her in death, they hug, and Peggy catches on fire.

As you do?

Also, geez, that swastika. It was probably what Sharon happened to be wearing when she died. National Force was a neo-Nazi group organized by Doctor Faustus. But previous panels had Sharon too distant to see it clearly or facing the other way. It's just jarring to have it suddenly show up while she's hugging her aunt to death.

All these back-up stories are really downsizing the Avengers staff. Plus, the whole team just got nuclear exploded.

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[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #321: The Crossing Line Part 3: MISSING LINKS

August, 1990

STRIKE FORCE!

The Crossing Line. Because sometimes, as a change of pace, superheroes need to punch terrorists on a submarine.

Or, something, I guess.

Anyway.

Last time in the Crossing Line, starring the Avengers: Russian terrorist group Peace Corpse hijacked the British submarine Waterwind with a plan to go to the United States and blow shit up.

The Avengers got called in to reclaim the sub but found that Russian super-group the People's Protectorate were also on the same job. For no reason, they fought. Which aggroed the Atlanteans, which both teams then fought. The Waterwind got damaged in the fighting and fled to Newfoundland for repairs.

The Avengers and People's Protectorate eventually finished punching Atlanteans and chased the sub but Peace Corpse had a lot of hostages. The Avengers very bungled a hostage negotiation, getting Stingray shot in the head, and then Alpha Flight showed up because you're in Canadian jurisdiction now!

The splash page is getting so crowded.

I honestly hope a new shows up every issue. Let's push the envelope on how crowded we can get. Does Mexico have a superhero team? Let's get them in on this.

So, the adults have arrived. Or the Canadians. Whichever.

Captain America: "We are all here for the same purpose. We want the terrorists who call themselves the Peace Corpse stopped and we want the Waterwind returned to the British Navy." Red Guardian: "The Protectors are responsible for the apprehension of the Soviet military traitors!" Guardian: "We are empowered to order you out of our country. Or you can work with us. Which shall it be?"

Crimson Dynamo doesn't know about these Canadian guys. The Avengers he knows and trusts. But Alpha Flight.....?

Captain America vouches for their abilities. And Vision goes yes but do they have the experience to handle an international incident.

Kind of rude! You're in their territory!

Since the time is almost up before Peace Corpse shoots another hostage, Captain America asks Guardian her thoughts. And her thought is rather than let someone get shot in the head again, they let the Waterwind dock and start making repairs. To buy the heroes time to figure out what to do.

Quasar: "They've already shot Stingray in cold blood -- we can't just-" Guardian: "We aren't 'just' anything! We're doing something that has not been done since this incident began -- we're thinking things through!"

Wow. She hasn't even been around the whole story and she already knows that everyone has been acting the fool.

Which Cap himself acknowledges while admiring what a good job Guardian is doing leading Alpha Flight.

Captain America: "I had heard of her husband's return. It doesn't seem to have adversely affected her though. If anything, Guardian seems to have grown in her role as leader of Alpha. Perhaps Alpha's presence is exactly what we needed. So far, the teams representing the world's so-called super powers have spent most of their time tripping over each other! I'm not surprised, though I am disappointed. I had always hoped the world's heroes could work together in a way the world's nations haven't."

So the Waterwind is escorted to a berth while the heroes regroup to a loading warehouse that overlooks the shipping yards.

Red Guardian offers to have Vostok run an MRI of the submarine (which is apparently something he can do) to figure out what's going on inside.

On top of the sub, second-in-command Peace Corpse guy Strokov discovers a flattened bullet and it's revealed that Stingray isn't dead. Yay, Stingray. He is very unconscious from being shot in the head but his pressurized suit held up.

Leader guy Illyich is like eh, whatever, we got our demands, doesn't matter that the hostage we shot didn't die. Which makes Strokov mad because he sees it as Illyich's resolve weakening.

Sure.

The traitor British naval officer guy takes the hostage British sailors back to the hostage room to guard them.

Meanwhile, Strokov starts yelling to the other members of Peace Corpse that they're losing sight of their ideological purity or something. The others tell him to stfu because they've got bigger problems.

The member called Voroshilov figures that the only reason the heroes would let them berth and repair is to buy time for an assault.

Illyich agrees and decides they'll have to make their final stand here and now in Newfoundland.

Peace Corpse member: "Will the message be the same? After all, destroying Newfoundland does not carry the same amount of international impact as would the destruction of New York!" Illyich: "Agreed. But the fact that Canada will become directly involved could help to precipitate the conflict we desire."

So they go to prepare the warheads. And plan to draw lots to see who is chosen... for some grim task, I dunno.

Illyich: "Implementing our final solution now may be the only chance we have of succeeding! And the only hope this world has of seeing the next century... will be to destroy it in this one!"

I wish you'd explain your ideology in more detail.

Over in the warehouse that has become superhero HQ, planning is afoot.

The heroes have obtained the Waterwind schematics from British Intelligence and have the data from Vostok's MRI of the vessel.

But Peace Corpse still hasn't made any demands. And the superheroes are assuming that they're up to something a lot less dire than blowing up Newfoundland and are worrying that there hasn't been a peep of motive yet.

If the raid goes wrong, the people of St. John's will be in danger, not just the hostages on board the Waterwind.

Vostok uses his computer logic to suggest they establish an acceptable casualty rate. Equally computer logic Vision say that sounds like a good idea.

Shaman: "I find the supposition that a minimum amount of people should be expected to die to ensure our success to be reprehensible."

I mean, fair. Superheroes are supposed to be better than that, a lot of the time.

Captain America suggests two teams. One raids the sub to incapacitate the terrorists and save the hostages, the other evacuates the civilians.

And they've got to move before the Waterwind is repaired enough to move back out into open seas or the job will be that much harder.

(Since the heroes don't know that Peace Corpse is planning to settle things right here.)

For Team Sub Raid, Cap suggests himself, Vostok and Box for their mechanical aptitude, Vision for stealth, and Puck for being compact and for his experience.

Yes, he does say Puck's size is a factor for choosing him.

Red Guardian volunteers himself for the mission too because Peace Corpse are Soviets and he is the symbol of the Soviet people and is responsible for capturing terrorist Soviets BUT ALSO the Peace Corpse leader Illyich Prokvitch... IS HIS BEST FRIEND

DUN DUN DUN.

And Captain America agrees that this is a good reason for Red Guardian to join the raid team.

Although, it seems mostly because he figures Red Guardian is too emotionally invested not to barge into the situation anyway. Best to just let him join so you can keep an eye on him.

Fun how it works out to two members of each team.

And I guess everyone else (Sersi, Quasar, Guardian, Shaman, Diamond Lil, Fantasma, Crimson Dynamo, and Perun) are on team evacuate the entire city.

Back at the ruins of Atlantis, I guess Atlantis is still in the plot.

God knows why.

Okay, I'm not god but here's why.

Tyrak is big mad that the superheroes kicked their asses. He's mad that when Atlantis is the aggressor, they get their asses kicked. When Atlantis is the defender, they still get their asses kicked.

Because, yeah, usually Tyrak is a villain but here he was just minding his own business in the ruins of his home and some jerks start an international incident in his front yard. He's right to be pissed!

He's maybe not right to then jump to 'hey wasn't there a nuclear submarine involved? Maybe we make it blow up while it's on the surface, see how they like their home blowing up.'

That's maybe disproportionate.

Canada didn't even blow up Atlantis, you guys. It was Lemuria, another undersea city.

Back at the Bay of Placentia, where the Waterwind is parked.

Puck kicks a man in the head.

We like Puck here. He's cool.

Peace Corpse only left one guy to guard the hatch. Captain America estimates that there's one guy guarding the hostages and the remaining four terrorists are working on repairs.

The hatch is locked so Vision visions through to open it from the inside. Vision, Vostok, Captain America, Red Guardian, and Puck enter the sub.

But during choosing teams, Captain America made a slight miscalculation.

Box is just too fucking big to enter a submarine hatch.

Wow, Cap. You are not doing a good job during this arc.

Box offers to scout around the outside of the Waterwind, see if there's anything he can do from there, and transforms his armor into a submersible.

Hey, that's cool! You seem pretty cool, Box.

Inside the sub, Vision found one of the Peace Corpse monitoring the communication systems and knocked him the fuck out.

And Puck finds Allanson guarding the hostages and also knocks him the fuck out.

You're doing a great job, Puck.

The three remaining members of Peace Corpse are working in the missile control room.

Voroshilov, the one lady in the Peace Corpse, hears the gunfire from Puck's rescue of the hostages and goes to investigate.

She runs into Vostok and Red Guardian. Vostok turns her gun into a flower and Red Guardian kicks her face in the face.

Well, that's a cool visual and a very funny symbolic move from the beep boop logical robot man.

But is that how his powers work? He can manipulate mechanical systems but does a gun count? I mean, technically, yes, but then his powers would also work on a pully or a bicycle? It's just kind of overbroad compared to what I thought his power was.

Anyway.

Cap sends Vision and Vostok on ahead to find the two remaining Peace Corpse members since they no longer have the element of surprise.

The two synthezoids find the last two terrorists, Illyich and Strokov.

And they've wired themselves into the missile control.

Vostok: "The - two - remaining - members - of - the - terrorist - insurgency - have - biologically - attached - themselves - to - the - missile - control - console. In -essence -- we - find - ourselves - confronting - two - men - whose - sole - desire - has - been - to - start - a - third - world - war... And - they - have - turned - themselves - into - living - nuclear - arsenals..."

Um. Okay? Is this like a deadman switch thing or what? Was it necessary to be shirtless or just because the sub was a bit warm?

Well, I guess we'll find out. And sooner than expected because I'm not alternating for a bit. Sticking with Avengers East Coast through #325.

See, the next Avengers West Coast issue mentions the events of an annual. And I looked it up and the annual best fits after this arc concludes and after an additional one-issue story.

So I'll go through all of those Avengers East Coast issues, then do the Annuals story The Terminus Factor, then swing back to Avengers West Coast to sync up the dates again.

Anyway, men wired up to nukes isn't the end of this issue. The Avengers Crew focused back-up stories continue in MOTHER OF INVENTION.

Apparently, the Avengers book was being published bi-weekly at this time and the back-up stories were to help the creative team out.

This back-up focuses on our good pal Fabian Stankowitz. Y'know, that guy that attacked the Avengers during the Trial of Yellowjacket story and they didn't take him seriously and it didn't backfire at all because he wasn't something they had to take seriously?

And then he also attacked Late Night with David Letterman when the Avengers were guest-starring there? Letterman knocked him out with a big doorknob?

Well, he's a Good Guy now.

Surely, you already knew that.

Well, the refurbishment of the Avengers Subbasement is getting to the laboratory he'll use as the team tech guy.

While going through all the unmarked crates, Fabian finds his first suit of Mechano-Marauder armor.

He reminisces about winning the New York lottery and spending his winnings converting his garage into a machine shop and buying steel and microchips so he could build a suit of armor and go try beat up superheroes.

Fabian: "What a feeling I had back then -- like I was ready to lick the world...! So what'd I do? I tried to lick the world. Staring with the ever-mighty Avengers... challenged them to fight me three times... once on network teevee, no less! What a robot's rump I was. Spending six months in the juvie slammer cured me of wanting to be a super villain, that's for sure. I sure am lucky Cap forgave my youthful escapades and offered me a staff job -- don't know where I'd be now otherwise. As is, I'll probably never live down the Mechano-Marauder! I've got the lowest security clearance of anybody else in this place -- it's a wonder I even have a bathroom pass."

I don't think I knew he was a minor all those times he attacked the Avengers.

I'm glad that Cap gave him a second chance, especially since Fabian seems more short-sighted than malicious.

Anyway, this is the series of back-up stories about Avengers Crew being haunted by their past. So obviously the armor suddenly comes alive and forms around his body.

Obviously.

The suit also seems to be moving on its own, lifting its arms and blowing up all the crates in the room with repulsors.

Then Fabian's mom shows up.

And she is a piece of work.

For one thing, she's supposed to be dead. Fabian's dad told him she died when he was a baby.

But Ma Stankowitz tells him that she didn't die, she abandoned him after his first birthday. Because she didn't want to deal with a screaming baby or a screaming husband. She straight up ditched.

She finally decided to check up on him and found that Fabian is just as bad as her lousy husband.

Fabian: "That's not true -- dad isn't like that! He doesn't hit... much. Only when he's been drinking..." Ma Stankowitz: "Well, Frankie, it is nice to know that I was justified in abandoning you. Goodbye."

GEEZ.

There is something odd going on with the Avengers Crew so it's likely that none of this is real and none of what "Ma" had to say was fact. But still, you gotta feel for Fabian. His mom maybe abandoned him and his dad is Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Anyway.

The Mechano-Marauder armor then decides to shoot Ma in the back, leaving Fabian to just protest it was the suit what did it, the suit!

Poor guy.

At least next time will traumatize another member of the Avengers Support Crew.

Follow @essential-avengers for more traumatized supporting cast and maybe the Avengers will prevent or cause World War III. We're in a weird era, my friends. A weird era indeed. Like, reblog, comment, whatever. Keep me company on this weird journey through the early 90s.