what would matt and/or chris do if reader leaked through her pants (period) while they were out shopping but she was already in a bad mood so they’re trying not to upset her while trying to fix it??
they’d both be sweet and not obvious about it. They’d try to get her to like follow them some place else away form everyone’s eyes and help her.
Matt …
Matt had been keeping an eye on you ever since you woke up in a bad mood. He noticed the way you crossed your arms tightly as you browsed through racks of clothes, clearly uninterested in shopping. He didn’t press you, knowing you just needed some space.
But when you shifted awkwardly and tugged at the back of your shirt, he knew something was wrong. His eyes quickly scanned you, and when he caught sight of the faint stain on your pants, his heart sank.
Matt stepped closer, lowering his voice to keep things casual. “Hey, babe, let’s grab a drink or something. You’ve been looking at clothes for ages.”
You shot him a tired look. “I don’t even want to be here, Matt.” you snipped.
“I know, I know,” he soothed, resting a hand lightly on your shoulder. “But let’s just take a little break, yeah? Maybe grab a coffee?” His tone was calm, almost coaxing.
You sighed but nodded, following him out of the aisle. Matt guided you toward the store’s café area, then paused. “Wait here for a sec. I’ll be right back.” he said, gently having you sit down in a more secluded part.
Before you could protest, he disappeared. A few moments later, he returned with a small shopping bag in hand and a soft hoodie draped over his arm. He handed it to you with a sheepish smile. “I, uh, noticed something earlier. Thought this might make you feel more comfortable.”
Then It clicked in your head, and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks. “Matt—”
“Don’t worry about it,” he cut you off gently, his voice reassuring. “We’ll grab some leggings on the way out. No big deal.”
Tears pricked your eyes — not from embarrassment, but from how thoughtful he was being. Matt caught the look and tilted his head. “Hey, don’t cry,” he said softly, brushing his thumb over your cheek. “You’re good, okay? you’ll get through this, and then I’ll take you home to chill. Sound good?”
Chris …
You had been dragging your feet through the store, annoyed at everything around you. Chris kept glancing your way, unsure how to help. He cracked a few jokes, but your stony silence told him they weren’t landing.
When you shifted your weight and tugged at the back of your shirt, Chris immediately clocked something was wrong. His brow furrowed as he looked you over discreetly, catching sight of the faint stain on your pants. His heart squeezed, knowing how upset you might get if he handled this the wrong way.
Chris casually stepped in front of you, blocking anyone else’s view. “Hey, angel,” he said softly, leaning closer. “I think we should hit the car for a minute.”
You frowned, clearly irritated. “Why?” you said, gritting your teeth.
He hesitated, not wanting to embarrass you. “Trust me, it’s just better if we head out for a sec. We can come back if you want.” he said.
The way his voice softened made you suspicious, but you reluctantly agreed. He walked close behind you, shielding you the best he could until you made it to the parking lot.
Once you reached the car, Chris opened the door for you and handed you his sweatshirt. “Here, wrap this around your waist,” he said gently.
Your face fell as realization dawned, and you immediately looked down at your pants. “Oh my god,” you whispered, mortified.
“Hey, hey, it’s not a big deal,” Chris reassured you quickly. He crouched down so he was eye-level with you, his hands resting lightly on your hips. “This happens, okay? — I know how this works. No one saw, and I’ve got your back.”
You looked at him, your lip trembling. “I’m so over today,” you muttered.
Chris gave you a small smile. “I know, angel. Let’s get you some fresh clothes and head home. We can throw on your favorite movie, and I’ll grab all the snacks you want. Sound good?”
You nodded, and Chris leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “We’ve got this,” he murmured. “Don’t even stress.”
Something I don't see talked about is period relief for age regressors, so I decided to write what helps me. Hopefully, this will help you too!
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Raspberry Leaf Tea:
I have really bad cramps and I've found this helps a lot. It's a nice warm drink, which I find soothing. It doesn't taste like raspberries, unfortunately, but I do like the taste.
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Mint Tea:
This helps my nausea and once again, it's a warm drink I find soothing. It helps my nausea and makes it so I don't have to take as many meds.
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Fluids:
Keeping your fluids up is very important because it helps reduce many of the symptoms and clots. Avoid anything that is a diuretic (it'll make you pee more) and try to drink some things with electrolytes in it. I personally like liquid IV for the electrolytes, but Gatorade and other such drinks works too!
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McDonald's Chocolate Shake & Fries:
Okay, so this one isn't necessarily helpful. I just get cravings for salt and magnesium, so this helps knock those cravings out. Plus, it's a nice treat that I don't get very often.
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Heating Pad:
When my tummy hurts really bad, I pull out my heating pad and cuddle up with it. Sometimes I'll put a stuffy against the heating pad to help hold it in place. As an added bonus, the stuffy gives me something to cuddle!
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Ice pack:
When I'm swollen or bloated I like to use an ice pack because the cold helps reduce the swelling. Make sure to wrap it in a towel or pillowcase because cold right against your skin isn't good! I personally like to wrap it in a baby blanket because the material is soft and calming to me.
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Oil in a Diffuser:
Eucalyptus and peppermint help with the headaches I get and makes me feel less cranky.
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White Flower Oil:
I like to rub this on my temples because it also helps relieve my headaches. However, if you're sensitive to smells or have bad allergies, I suggest not to use it.
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Meds:
Mydol or Pamrin are my go-to meds. They help relive bloating, headaches, and cramps. Please, please be careful while taking these because they do have asprin in them, which is a blood thinner, and the caffeine in them might make a headache worse if you take too much.
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Shower & Bath:
I always feel really icky during my period, so I take lots of showers and baths. It helps with my body pain, cramps, and makes me feel more clean.
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Comfort:
🌸 Having comfort during a period is super important, especially if you experience mood swings or if you go regress.
🌸 Having someone you trust comfort and reassure you is very helpful.
🌸 I personally like cuddles, so my friend or CG will hold me. If they aren't around, I make a nest out of my pillows and stuffies.
🌸 Your favorite regression things are immensely important too. If you're upset while in littlespace because you hurt, having your favorite stuffies, sippy, paci, etc. will help give you comfort and give you something to help feel better.
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I help this helps you feel better. Best wishes and hugs if you want them!
❗️Could anyone potentially give me some advice on something? To help me ease my anxiety.❗️
UPDATE: my period finally came so we are in the clear! 🎉
So coworker crush (as I’ve been referring him to) and I are together now and we’ve tried experimenting with intercourse (protected of course!) Being honest, I bled a bit each time in our couple times of trying (he’s too big for me to handle). We’ve tried 3 times. We never did it enough for either of us to cum!
Anywho, my period was expected 6 days ago now and I have had no visible signs, other than very minor spotting and light cramp like feelings. Everything else has been fine, but my anxiety is through the roof on why I’m suddenly irregular. I’ve never missed a period and have been pretty consistent with my cycle.
He did buy me pregnancy tests to try today and it was THANKFULLY negative, but I just worry it may be a false negative. I have a 2 pack that I can try the other one again at a later date.
Is this something I need to be concerned about? Was anyone else’s cycle messed up after having sex for the first time? I genuinely don’t think I could be pregnant because no cum ever made it inside of me. I just worry if finally breaking the hymen disrupted something. Any help or advice would be much appreciated!
Summary: Dean Winchesters x Fe!Reader ~ The four times Dean Winchester said “I love you.” and the one time you meant it as something more.
FLUFF! FLUFF! FLUFF! (mentions of periods, kissing, falling in love and like, one swear word)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The first time Dean Winchester told you he loved you, it was when he got back from Hell. Not straight away, though. It had been after a werewolf hunt. It had been pretty simple for this kind of hunt.
Sam was still inside the motel room, fast asleep. You knew Dean hadn’t been sleeping much since he got back, waking up with terror in his eyes. More than usual.
The morning had been cold, the icy mist and fog slowly settling across the fields across from them. The motel they found was in the middle of nowhere. Much like the pack had been.
Dean looked back, hearing the motel door open and close. You stepped out, your body wrapped in a pair of jeans, a long henley - one that, let’s be honest, probably belonged to one of the boys - a flannel (also their’s) and a thick woolen jumper along with a pair of boots on your feet.
“Hey,” you smiled. Your voice was quiet. The first word of the day.
Dean smiled seeing your hair, slightly messy from sleep. Your face was slowly growing in colour and your eyes were still showing tiredness.
“Hey,” Dean said back.
He was leaning against the Impala, watching the fog and mist across the grass, a cup of coffee in his hand. Dean didn’t really know how long he’d been up, but it was long enough for his coffee to be colder than it should have been.
“You weren’t in bed.”
You and Dean had shared a bed that night. Like every night. You had been hunting with him since Sam left for college. It was both your own solo hunt and Dean’s. You worked it together. You stuck together after that.
Neither of you really could remember why or how you both decided to stick together but it was better together than alone, so that was something.
Dean seemed to dodge the statement all together, reaching round behind him. “I got you coffee. It’s probably cold by now but-”
“Thank you,” you smiled. “I love it.”
Dean smiled back before taking a drink and looking back to the fog.
“You can talk to me, you know. I won’t tell Sam if you really don’t want me to.”
You could see the look in his eyes. Distant. Lost.
“Dean?”
You placed a gentle hand on his upper arm, and that was when he looked at you.
“I love you.” Dean blurted out, looking at you. No, not looking at you. Looking into you. Like his entire head was talking to you through telekenisis, letting you know about everything he wished he could say outloud.
“Not in the “I’m-madly-in-love-with-you.” way, so, you don’t have to look so worried.” Dean said with a small laugh. “I just...you’re my family. You and Sam. And, I love you.”
You gave him a light smile. He’d tell you when he’s ready.
“I love you, too.”
You placed a long kiss to his cheek before landing back on your feet.
“Next time you wanna leave in the middle of the night, at least leave me a blanket. You are my designated human heater.” You joked, finding a smile spread on Dean’s face.
“Sure.”
- - - - - - - - - -
The second time Dean Winchester told you he loved you was during a hunt. It was just a quick one. One that was so flippant that you didn’t even realise either of you had said it until Sam brought it up later that night while Dean was at a bar and you were left with Sam in the motel room.
You were, once again, pretending to be FBI agents. You were interviewing a couple of suspects and speaking to local police when you were given a lead. You would call Sam and search it out together whilst Dean stayed back at the Police Department so check out a few more things.
“Just, be careful?” Dean had asked you before you left the station.
You smiled and gave a nod. “I will.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Other people who had heard around the station just gathered you were partners in both work and life so didn’t really question it. Sam, however...this had been the first time he’d heard it.
“So, what was all that about earlier?”
“What was all what?” You asked, your eyes not leaving the case files in front of you.
You had found Dean a few hours ago still at the sation in the back. The lead Detective, when you walked in, pointed you to the room.
“He’s been in there since you left.”
“Thanks.”
You walked in slowly. Dean was sat at a small desk, his tie off, his top buttons undone and his hair a little messy but in an attractive way. Not that you would tell him that. It would probably only boost his ego.
You had to basically drag him to the bar.
The last couple of weeks, Dean had been getting too far into the work. Hell, Sam was beginning to spend more and more time at a bar than researching. And his time at being at both hadn’t changed.
“All that before. The...I love you.” Sam smiled.
You thought back. “Oh. Oh, yeah. It’s just...what we said. We’re family. It’s normal.”
Sam gave a smirk. “The only time Dean has ever told me he loves me, to my face, in actual human words is when one of us is dying.”
You looked up to Sam across the room and smiled. “Well, maybe it’s about time we said ‘I love you’ without any of us dying. Sam, he didn’t mean nothing by it. Not in the way you’re thinking.”
Sam smiled. “I- I’m not thinking anything.”
“Yes, you are. And you can stop. We’re good friends, Sam. You and Dean...you’re my family.”
“Alright.”
“Stop.”
Sam couldn’t hide his smile. “Okay, okay. But, just tell me one thing?”
“What?” you asked.
“Will you make Cas wear a dress as Maid-of-Honour?”
You rolled your eyes and threw one of the library books at Sam’s head.
- - - - - - - - - - -
The third time Dean Winchester said ‘I love you’ was in the afternoon not long after they found the Bunker.
Sam had gone on a run, Charlie was sat at the table typing away in her own little world and Dean was out on a beer run.
And yourself, you were stood in the kitchen cooking the first decent meal you’d all had in a long, long time.
“Hey!” Dean caught Charlie’s attention before he threw her a bag of chips.
“Oh, my god, you found them?!” Charlie smiled.
“Last in the store. You’re welcome. And for the chef for the evening,” Dean pulled out a bottle of orange soda. One they hadn’t sold in years. Not anywhere outside of your home town, anyway.
You smiled and took the bottle from him. “Aw-ww. Thank you. I can’t believe you found this.”
“Yeah, apparently they changed manufacturer a few years ago.”
“Well, thank you.” You jumped up and kissed his cheek before remembering you had something for him.
“Pie? You- You baked me a pie?” Dean asked as you lifted it from the counter.
“One fresh cherry pie. Just for you.”
“Just for-” Dean looked from the pie to you with a wide smile before he pulled you in for a tight hug. “Have I ever told you how much I love you? Because I do. So much. I love you, so, so much.”
You smiled and let out a laugh.
“Hey, I helped!” Charlie called out from the table before she scrambled out from the bench and over to both of you, joining the hug.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The fourth time Dean Winchester told you he loved you, it had been much like second. It was just flippant. Said casually as if it came off his lips and tounge every single day. And, let’s be honest, it did.
He might not have said the words ‘I love you’, but he said them in other ways. In the ways he made you coffee in the morning. How, after a night of drinking, you didn’t even open your eyes as you walked into the kitchen and grabbed what you thought had been a coffee pot.
“Why does my coffee taste of apples?”
Dean was soon beside you. “That’s because it’s apple juice.” He took the cup from your hand and placed his own coffee mug in it’s place. “Here.” Dean had a soft smile on his lips as he watched you drink your coffee and visablely relax and leant against his chest as he stood beside you.
“Can you make the world stop spinning?”
“I would if I could, sweetheart.” Dean smiled.
It was in the ways he cleaned your guns when you got back from a hunt whilst you patched up Sam, not trusting the long-haired-moose to do it properly.
He said ‘I love you’ in the way he would let you hold his hand, make him sit down, and patch him up after you got back from a hunt and his mind had been elsewhere the entire time. It was in the ways he would cover you up late at night or how he’d walk you to bed and make sure you didn’t crash out in the hallway.
Dean Winchester said ‘I love you’ in the way that he would tell you what was going on in his head when you asked, whether that be verbally or silently with just one look. It was in the way he would look at you when you told him something or gave him something he needed when even he didn’t know he was in need of it.
You both knew each other like the back of your hand. And nothing would ever change that.
The fourth time Dean Winchester said the words ‘I love you’ was early one morning. You had been awake for about 20 minutes and he was going out on a quick store run.
“You need anything?” Dean asked you.
You looked around when suddenly, the two things you were looking for appeared in front of your face.
“Thanks.”
Dean smiled and nodded. You wrote him a list of items you needed, adding sanitary pads as the bottom of the list.
“Ooh, already?” Dean asked. He knew how painful your periods could get. There had been many times he’d washed your sheets whilst you got cleaned up in the bathroom.
He was a hunter. He’d seen a lot worse than monthly blood spilled onto sheets.
Those were the words he’d told you when you panicked and came back out of the bathroom and found him stripping your bed of your bloodied sheets.
You hummed in response.
“Okay.” Dean nodded. “You want me to pick you up some of that chocolate you like?”
“And potato chips!” You called out from where you had your head buried in your arms that lay folded on the table.
Dean nodded. “And potato chips. Okay. I’ll be back in 40 minutes. I love you.” Dean quickly kissed the top, his hands gently squeezing the top of your arms.
You mumbled back a response; “I love you, too.” but you were 30 seconds from falling asleep again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Finally, the fifth time Dean Winchester told you he loved you...it was also the first. The first time he said those words in a way unlike any other he had before. It was the first time he said those three little words that had such a bigger impact than you throught they would have.
Everything seemed to change a few months ago. One day everything had been fine, normal, familiar. And then...it all changed. It was like everytime Dean wanted and went to say those three little words, he couldn’t. He’d say nothing and just hug you or oddly nod before leaving the room as quick as he could.
Usually it was the latter.
You had thought over and over again about what could have happened, what could have been said but you couldn’t.
You had been in pain. Both from cramps and from the fact you got thrown backwards at warp-speed into a barn door not more than a few hours before hand.
“You okay? You need anything?” Dean asked as he walked into the library where he found you leaning against the table, your head down and eyes squeezed as tight as your hands were wrapped around the edge of the wooden table.
You hummed tightly and shook your head.
Dean waited a few moments, knowing the pain would pass just enough for you to be able to move.
“Okay, come on. You got your hot water bottle?”
You nodded. “In my room.”
“Then you go and get settled and I will make you some of that witch-tea that Rowena brought the last time she was here.”
You gave a small laugh. “It’s just ginger tea, Dean. It’s not a magical potion - although it does feel like it is sometimes.”
Dean nodded slightly. “Maybe so, but when it comes from her, I will always be a little skeptical.”
That night, Dean fell asleep beside you, you cuddled into him as you both sat and watched old reruns of Scooby-Doo. Dean seemed to remember everything that happened from the episodes, even if he hadn’t seen them in 20 years.
That morning, Dean went missing and you eventually found him cleaning Baby in the garage towards midnight. He’d been out driving all day.
But you were about to get the answers you had been waiting for. The answers to why Dean had been avoiding you and trying to keep you at arms length.
It was late at night and Dean had been acting weird all day. It was like he wanted to be close to you but at the same time, run for the hills. And it was killing you. You just wanted to hold him. Hug him. Kiss him. Do something just to make him stand in the same room with you for more than 30 seconds.
Sam had gone to bed a couple of hours ago and Cas was on a ‘weekend get-away’. Something you and Sam had booked for him a few months ago. He needed a break from Angel business and hunting business. The retreat was warded against most supernatural beings and just enough so that Angels couldn’t use their powers. Niether could demons. It was a place of relaxation for all supernatural beings.
You were sat in the kitchen reading through some old case files that Garth had sent through. A couple of suspicious things had been happening two towns over. It might be nothing, but it was worth a look. You were finishing up on background research.
Standing, you walked over towards the stove and began making a cup of tea when you felt a presence stood by the door.
Dean.
“Hey, can-” Dean paused for a moment. “Can we talk?”
You wanted to yell yes. God, you’d love nothing more.
“Sure.”
Slowly, Dean walked inside as if he was waiting for the floor to open up beneath him. Every step just...please don’t break beneath me, you are the only thing holding me in an upright position right now.
“What’s up?” You asked, walking back over to the table, only, Dean intercepted you. Dean stood in front of you and eventually leanted against the edge of the table.
“Dean, I love that you want to talk to me but I thought this might involve actual words.” You said light-heartedly. “Dean? Hey, is everything-”
“I love you.” Dean blurted out, but the moment he did, his eyes went wide with panic.
“That’s what you wanted to tell me?” You smiled. “I love you, too.”
“No. No, I mean- I love you.”
You furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head. It was like he wanted it to sound different but it didn’t.
“Dean? Wait. Hold on. You haven’t done something reckless have you?” You quickly placed down your hot cup of tea on the side and stood back in front of him with your hands on your hips. “Because I swear to god, if you have-”
“What? No. No. I haven’t done anything reckless. Or stupid. Or any other adjective you want to use. No. I just...God, I didn’t think this was the way it would go.”
“What would go?”
“Me...opening up...like this. What else am I supposed to say?”
You let a small laugh escape from your lips. “Say about what, Dean?”
“That I love you. That I’m in love with you. And not in a cool way, like, at all. I’m talking the ending of When Harry Met Sally; the whole you want the rest of your life to start right away speech.”
You didn’t know what to say. For one, he’d referenced a movie that he said he’d never watched - although you both had watched it together about two years ago and Dean knew most of the lines- for two, he was in love with you.
“Son of a bitch.” Dean spoke under his breath as he looked to his hands. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. Let’s just- can we forget this ever happened? Yeah, let’s just do that-”
Dean went to stand up but with a firm hand you pushed him back down to sit against the edge of the table.
“This is why you’ve been so weird the last couple of months?” You wasn’t really looking him in the eyes as you spoke, but once you finished, it was like Dean could feel your stear piercing his soul.
“What?” Dean asked. “Wait. I tell you I’m in love with you and that’s your recation? You could seem less offended.”
“No. No. I’m not...I’m just...when?”
“When?”
You nodded. “When?”
Dean straightened up, his hands relaxed in his lap. “Four months ago.”
You stood back and folded your arms. “Four months?”
“You called me a nerd before you fell asleep and told me you wouldn’t have me any other way. But four months ago, I just realised that I was. I was long gone before that.”
You knew something about that.
About a year ago, you had a freak out and you didn’t know why. Just woke up one day, Dean had cooked you breakfast and made your eggs exactly how you liked them - unlike Sam who, god love him for a tryer, just couldn’t get them right.
But, you being you, had taken it out on the case, freaking out of over the littlest things until Dean took you by the shoulders and made sure you were looking at him when he talked before he pulled you in for a hug.
That was when you knew you were a gonner.
He knew everything about you and it took you more than a decade to realise that you were completely in love with the legendary hunter, Dean freakin’ Winchester.
“You’re in love with me.” You said it as a statement whe you began walking backwards until you were finally leaning against the silver kitchen island. “You’re in love with me?”
Dean knew you well enough to know that this wasn’t a rejection. This was pure confusion and fear. But, to be honest, he’d been weird with you the last couple of months and then, close to midnight, had confessed his undying love for you.
You looked across at him. “This isn’t some cruel joke, right? You’re still you? I know this place is warded within an inch of its cement but...”
Dean was now in front of you and reached behind you for a container of salt and the small jar of holy water. He poured them both over his hand and then pulled out his silver blade.
It was him, alright.
“Look, you don’t have to say anything. You don’t even have to look at me but with how our lived have been in the last 20 years, I guessed I better say something sooner before we were hit with yet another life-threatening-world-altering threat.”
You nodded, rubbing your face before looking up to him. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I’m in love with you, too.”
“You don’t have to just say it to make this less awkward.”
“I’m not. I’m in love with you. You remember my freak out last year? That was when I realised-”
“Y/N, you don’t have to-”
But Dean was unable to finish the sentence because less than a second later, your lips were on his. You could feel his entire body go stiff until he realised what was happening.
And after he did, it felt kinda...normal. Familiar, even. Like this was how it was always meant to be.
Just you and him. Together. Like this.
His hands came to both your face and your lower back pulling you in further to him as your hands went from his flannel shirt to his neck.
You didn’t know when you both broke the kiss, but either way, you both stood still in each other’s arms, holding one another, heads lightly against one another.
“I love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you.”
You smiled. “I’m in love you with, too, Dean Winchester.”
I know it’s stupid but I’m legitimately terrified about being in the luteal phase. It’s about a week til I start my period, and every month right around this time I have an actual mental breakdown. Screaming, crying, self harm, etc. it’s hell. even though I know why it’s happening, I feel like I’m literally insane. I know it’s coming and it scares me that I can’t stop it, especially because last month I actually hurt myself pretty badly in a self harming fit.
Hi there! My name is foxy and we have a fun time here! Today I wanted to talk about periods, how periods can affect age regression, and things you can do to make this time easier on yourself when regressed.
The affects of periods on littles:
Can make littles upset because of how big their period makes them feel.
Cramps are the worst.
Fatigue from having a period makes it easier to be irritable which can cause tantrums or unhappy regression.
On a similar note, negative thoughts can increase during shark week which is never a fun time.
(These are just some things that I’ve experienced in the past. I’m sure there’s more)
Things that can help:
Draping a blanket over yourself
Using a heating pad.
Taking a hot bath or shower.
Sleeping.
Wearing comfortable, loose-fitting clothing.
Watching tv, playing video games, or any other sort of escapism.
Eating plenty of yummy food.
Journaling/agere journaling to either distract yourself or get those bad thoughts out.
If needed, taking painkillers can help with cramps (please do this one responsibly and/or with help if fully regressed)
My period is horrible. I have heard people who don’t get periods say: “It can’t be that bad.” Yes, yes it can. Some studies suggest that cramps can be a worse pain for women than a heart attack. My period technically starts a few days before bleeding. I get a period flu. A period flu is a few days of unexplained illness and flu-like symptoms (low grade fever, chills, etc) a few days before your period starts. I didn’t used to get this, but my body decided I needed this. The first time I got it, my doctor put me on antibiotics thinking I had a sinus infection. (She is proactive about fevers because I am a transplant patient).
My minor symptoms are bloating, diarrhea, lethargy, sometimes headaches, I get irritable, my breasts hurt for a few days, and some other lesser inconveniences. However - my biggest two issues? Pain and bleeding.
Bleeding - I bleed for eight to ten days every month. Usually the first one and last two of the cycle are light. I tend to have one or two very heavy days, depending on the month, and when I say heavy - I mean clots. Lots of them. I will soak through a ten hour pad in less than two hours. I have lost so many pairs of underwear. I now have “period underwear” that is darker or just old so I don’t care if it gets stained. The rest of the days are moderate.
Pain - This is the worst part of my period. I start cramping on day one and I usually don’t stop until the second to last day of my period. When I say it’s bad - I mean excruciating. I was once taken to the hospital by my mom because I couldn’t breathe right during cramps. The doctors rushed me in, thinking I was having a miscarriage, a burst cyst, or maybe appendicitis. They did lab work and ultrasounds. While I was waiting they gave me fentanyl, which is 80-100x stronger than morphine. I could still feel the pain. It dulled it, but didn’t negate it. The doctor came back in shock - there was nothing wrong. No miscarriage, no cysts, and my appendix looked great. These were just the cramps I was going to have to live with. I was given pain meds for every month - 20 - to deal with that I’m going through.
I have a few period journal entries that I would like to post. If you don’t want to read, please scroll down past the blue writing. Sadly, these are only four of dozens of examples.
September 17, 2020 - Day 5 of my period.
Woke up with horrible cramps that were so bad I was shaking. Slept on the couch again because I was tossing and turning so much from the pain. Didn’t fall asleep until nearly 4. Passed a clot which, usually by day 5, will alleviate some of the pain, but it didn’t. The exhaustion took over and I fell asleep until about 11:30, but when I woke up I was so tired I could barely move.
November 16, 2020 - Day 4 of my period.
I could not sleep last night. The pain is intense and comes in waves. The bleeding started to get heavy a little after 7AM. It’s a little after 8:30 when I’m writing this and I have passed 2 large clots and probably 5-6 smaller ones. I soaked through 1 pad already. I’m going back to bed and hopefully sleep for a few hours. Woke up with horrible cramps. Haven’t been able to get out of bed. Managed to get some food down to take my antibiotic, but that’s it. I am exhausted and the pain is radiating to my knees.
February 9, 2021 - Day 3 of my period.
I finally fell asleep around three, but I woke up a little after five with searing cramps. They went down my legs and around my back. I could barely think straight. I took meds, tried meditation, used a heating pad. Nothing helped, I finally passed a big clot and the pain subsided. I moved to the couch and was almost asleep when the pain started again around 9. I did everything the same - meds, meditation, heat. I’m going to try to get some more sleep.
April 14, 2021 - Day 2 of my period.
Having trouble getting to sleep. After taking pain meds and using pain cream on my back, the pain is just getting worse. I almost fell asleep, but woke up in pain. It’s 1:30 AM, and I am heading downstairs to lay on the couch with my heating pad. I can’t get comfortable and the pain is getting worse. It’s 5AM. I still can’t sleep. The pain is very bad. I just want to sleep through it and I can’t. Couldn’t sleep. The pain has somehow gotten worse over the afternoon. As of right now, I have pain meds in my system, pain cream on my back and abdomen, I took a very hot bath, and I am now laying with a heating pad. I am still in searing pain. I can’t do this much longer. I burst into tears a few minutes ago. Why won’t someone help me?
I have asked doctors, so many times, to have a hysterectomy. At first I was told I was too young. Then? I was told my husband would need to sign off on such a procedure. My husband was more than ready. If anything, he was just overtly appalled that he would have to do that, or that any doctor worth there degree would ask that. He asked what it would take for him to get a vasectomy. They said just call a urologist. “Would she have to sign off?” He asked indicating me, and when he was told no he said: “This is a ridiculous double standard. booitislife can make her own choices.”
I have seen 6 OBGYN’s in the last 8 years. The first told me I was too young. She offered a procedure called an Endometrial ablation. It does greatly reduce the bleeding issues. However, I wasn’t really worried about the bleeding - I was worried about the pain. She told me it wouldn’t really do anything for the pain, so I said no. I have to be careful with my transplanted kidney and any kind of anesthesia can be dangerous.
The second OBGYN was a man in the same office who was also conducting a cervical biopsy on me. I’ll never forgot the intense flash of pain and how I nearly yelled, but I did start to cry. According to my husband there was blood spray on the floor as the doctor looked up at me and said in a condescending voice - “That doesn’t hurt! Come on!” And then he laughed. He wouldn’t even discuss a hysterectomy. From that biopsy I learned I have pre-cancer on my cervix and underwent a LEEP procedure. They use a hoop wire heated by electric current to scrape off the parts that could become dangerous.
The third was about a half an hour away at a bigger hospital. He was the guy who did an endometrial biopsy on me. Different than the cervical biopsy, this was just a precaution after something looked off. He wasn’t as condescending as the others, and that biopsy came back normal. However, he wouldn’t do the hysterectomy either. He said I should go to a doctor in a hospital that has a transplant team - seemed reasonable.
Between the 3rd and 4th doctores I had been doing my research. I went to my nephrologist that was keeping track of my transplanted kidney, and told him about my struggles. He said he saw no issue with me getting a hysterectomy and, in fact, I should. He even confirmed with the current head of transplant from the hospital I had my transplant surgery in. So, I was off - feeling more confident. This new OBGYN was a doctor at my transplant hospital.
The fourth OBGYN - or as I call him “The Biggest Mother Fucker I had the displeasure to meet”. He dismissed a lot of my concerns quickly, and talked to me as if I didn’t know anything. Then, he asked if I wanted to try an IUD. Now, I have nothing against anyone who gets an IUD. If that is for you, and it’s working - awesome. I know my brain. I know my brain would focus on everything bad an IUD could do. I politely explained this to my doctor. This wasn’t an option for me. My panic would go crazy. He wrote some things down and told me he wanted to to a procedure just to check for any cancer cells that could be hiding, but (and oh yes, there was a big but) he would only do the procedure if I signed yes to getting a Mirana IUD. I had to sign a consent form before he would even schedule the procedure. So, I did. Then I canceled my procedure and never went to see him again. Oh, also, this asshole handed me pro-life pamphlets on my way out.
The fifth OBGYN - more trusting, no results. At this point I was exhausted. I was tired of trying and being let down, fighting to get an appointment. This OBGYN was a woman and she worked in the same office as the second guy I went to. I laid it all out for her. I told her what the previous doctor did. I told her about the pain, about not being able to barely move. I poured out my heart and soul to her. She empathized, then told me she did not feel comfortable doing my hysterectomy. Because the uterus is close to the transplanted kidney, she thought I needed a specialist. A type of doctor called an OBGYN oncologist. As luck would have it, there was one on staff at my transplant hospital. I waited and waited for an appointment. I waited for over a year. Finally they called and said they were just too booked. They had one doctor who did it, and it was most dire cases first. I understand that. So, I wasn’t angry or frustrated this time. The office at the hospital asked me if I would like to see another OBGYN on staff. I said as long as it wasn’t OBGYN Biggest Mother Fucker I had the Displeasure to Meet. I asked if it could be a woman and we set it up.
Okay, the last one for now. The OBGYN they set me up with was a resident. She seemed nice at first. We sat and talked about my pain, the exhaustion. She wanted to talk birth control options. Great. Her advice to me was to stay away from the shot and the implant. She agreed about the IUD not being right for me. So, she said she wanted me to start talking the pill. I stopped her. I had been on the pill twice. Once when I was 16, another time when I was 24. Two different kinds. Both times I had side effects. The most prominent was this intense stomach cramp. I would get headaches, nausea, extreme weight gain. I couldn’t live my life. I told this doctor that and she didn’t even look at me in the eye when she said...... “Well, I won’t even consider a hysterectomy until you’re on six full months of birth control.” It didn’t matter what other symptoms I had. It didn’t matter what I was and wasn’t comfortable with, not really. So, here I am, looking for lucky number 7 when it comes to OBGYN’s.
As I sit here tonight, losing a lot of blood through clots, being so tired I can’t think, but in too much pain to sleep. I found myself so angry. About an hour before I started writing this I had a pretty big panic attack. I haven’t had one of those in a long time. But - Tuesday night I slept for three hours. Last night I slept about five. Tonight it is almost 3 AM and I’m still awake. The pain is exhausting, but also keeps me awake. It also makes me tense. So, parts of my body started tingling. Instead of my logical side taking over and saying, “Yeah, you have been clenching for four days. You’re gonna feel odd things.” I convinced myself I was dying and had to take medicine. I am so tired on a deep level. I don’t want to have to go through this anymore, and I don’t know if that makes me sound selfish... I just.., I DON’T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS ANYMORE.
So, here we are. If you experience cramps like I do, I am so truly sorry. You don’t deserve them, and if I could do something to help you - I would in a heartbeat. People should not have to live like this. Doctors should listen to us and hear when we say that something like this is, genuinely, detrimental to our lives. If we want permanent birth control whether it be our tubes tied, an ablation, or a hysterectomy - it’s our body. We should decide what we can do with it. Please don’t stop fighting. Please don’t stop advocating for yourself. If you ever need to talk, I’m here. Have a good night, anyone who reads this. Thank you for reading this long-winded rant. Take care of yourself.
People who menstruate, if you don't know about NatraCare menstrual products already:
They are very soft, plastic-free (including the packaging), eco-friendly, & they're cheap and sustainable enough to change your pad/tampon 2-3 times a day.
The liners are a bit weak & can start to fall apart with little friction, but pads & liners should be changed twice a day anyhow. These last just fine if you get out a new one in the morning & before going to bed.
Change after exercising as well. They'll definitely wither lol
I've had no problems with the pads & they're the softest ever.
Haven't tried the tampons more than maybe twice though (I have PCOS & can't use tampons without pain). No problems but not enough experience to say much.
[image descriptions for screen reader gang:
1: Photo of NatraCare package of pads. Packaging is magenta colored, with pictures of daisies.
2: Photo of NatraCare box of panty liners. Packaging is lime green colored, with pictures of daisies.
3: Photo of NatraCare box of tampons. Packaging is neutral blue colored, with pictures of daisies.
