One Day At A Time

The day to day of medical issues.

[booitislife]

I don’t have it anymore. I’m tired. I’m done. I want to wave the white flag.

Why can’t we just press a button and end everything? Why can’t we flip a switch? I want to flip a switch.

I am tired. I am exhausted. I don’t want to do this anymore. If I could find a moment, a second, a small piece of true calm and happiness? I would. But I can’t.

I feel like I am alone, so aggressively alone. I have reached out for help. Nothing. No one takes me seriously or they don’t care. Or, maybe, I am just alone.

If I had the strength I would be gone. Suicide takes strength. Maybe I am not at the bottom yet. God, I can’t imagine being lower. I want to curl up in silence and be left so alone. Granted, most people don’t care enough to check in anyway.

I deserve that. I deserve this.

[booitislife]

Why is suicide so hard?

Does that mean I am not ready?

I am so tired. I want to sleep.

But I think about the force it will take

To slice my wrists and I hesitate.

I want to do it. I crave it.

I want to slip into oblivion.

Will the thoughts get easier?

Will the idea of pressing the knife to my skin

Become more appealing and wanted?

I need to not be here. I need to go.

I am killing myself slowly.

Alcohol is going the job as well as a knife.

It’s taking too long.

[meowmeowgrrrl123]

Guys look I know ER came out in the late 90s but I’ve been watching it with my mom and like. It’s so so good.

I’m in the middle of S10 and like. The thing happened.

How am I supposed to go on knowing my favorite character died a horrible fiery death by the thing he feared the most? And then NO ONE went to his memorial service??

Wtf!!

I looked it up and the actor said that the character had just run its course but like!!!!!!! No!!! I want more!! Please! Why are you so emotionally stunted!!! What happened to you bbg!!! Why were you so mean!!!!

His character was such a jerk and bc of that I don’t think the show runners even wanted to put time and energy into exploring his character further. It just feels like such a disservice to him. Sigh.

I’m sad. I want more of him.

[ratfink-kryptonite]

My favorite characters are morally gray. Alex Krycek, the anti hero of The X-Files.

[booitislife]

I’m bad. I’m awful. I’m a problem.

[booitislife]

I’m tired of not being good enough.

I’m tired of not being good enough.

I’m tired of not being good enough!!

[booitislife]

I’m not gross. I am not gross. I am not gross.

[booitislife]

She chose to walk alone

Though others wondered why

Refused to look before her,

Kept eyes cast upwards,

Towards the sky.

She didn't have companions

No need for earthly things.

Only wanted freedom,

From what she felt were

Puppet strings.

She longed to be a bird. That she might fly away.

She pitied every blade of grass

For planted they would stay.

She longed to be a flame,

That brightly danced alone.

Felt jealous of the steam

That made the air its only home.

Some say she wished too hard.

Some say she wished too long.

But we awoke one autumn day

To find that she was gone.

Some say she wished too hard.

Some say she wished too long.

But we awoke one autumn day

To find that she was gone.

The trees, they say stood witness.

The sky refused to tell.

But someone who had seen it said

The story played out well.

She spread her arms out wide.

Breathed in the break of dawn.

She just let go of all she held...

And then she was gone.

[booitislife]

I am never enough.

I wasn’t enough for my family.

I am never enough for my friends.

I am not enough for my husband.

I am NEVER enough. I am so tired. Can’t I just die already?

[booitislife]

I’m alive…. I think? Maybe? Barely.

The pain is unimaginable some days. Whether it’s a panic attack that makes me freak the fuck out..

Depression that makes me not want to move..

Chronic pain that makes it hard to move….

Fuck, I can’t win.

There are days where I just want to curl up and sleep and hope I just fucking die. Maybe that would be easier?

I’m not enough… I’m not pretty enough… good enough… healthy enough….

I would give anything to go back in time and stop me from being born. But for right now I am going to sit on my porch at 3AM and just fucking be annoyed. Be mad.. be not enough. Fuck.

[mental-outlook-uncertain]

Okay… got 3 giant White Claws and a pack of Marlboro reds…. Can everything calm the fuck down for a while??

[booitislife]

Relatable…

[booitislife]

How are you?

Oh me? I just had a therapy appointment about my rape that I have never dealt with the trauma.

I am tired. Someone tranq me? Please?

Also, if you have been through this - know I love you.

[ashstfu]

i enjoy the simple things in life like sleeping, daydreaming, ignoring reality, listening to music, being delusional, recklessly spending my cash and being a disappointment to my family

[booitislife]

How much do you think it would cost a hitman to take out yourself? Asking for a friend.

[keikomivra]

In loving memory of Bernard Cribbins 1928-2022 ↳ 14x01: The Star Beast || 14x02: Wild Blue Yonder

[neil-gaiman]

I got to hang out in the studio with Bernard Cribbins when we were recording HOW THE MARQUIS GOT HIS COAT BACK. He played Old Bailey. He was the best of the best.

Seeing him there on Doctor Who as Wilf broke me, just a little, not in a bad way.

[booitislife]

And I am the bad guy….. shocking.

[anxietyproblem]