#personal catalogue

[strangertoparadise]

Finally got to read Volume 14 of Mushoku Tensei. I am will soon read the long awaited volume 15 for a reunion with my precious Eris, but I'd like to summarize what I feel about this volume and the series up until now.

First of all, I'd like to summarize what I love most about the series: Misunderstandings.

It might not seem like it at first glance, but what makes the character relationships and interactions of the characters so interesting is this. No one actually completely understands one another, people often assume the things they think they know about the other person and they meet each other in the middle of the road. For example, I love that Rudy never understood what actually bothered Norn about him, he assumes it was only because of his first impression caused her to hate him, but he never understood how she feared him, much less why she feared him. This doesn't happen only with Norn though. Paul, Elinalise, Roxy, Sylphie, Eris and Aisha all have variying degrees of similar situations.

Characters who look like they have one motivation might actually have another if we look deeper into it through their own perspective. And its so good that the novels show these to us. Even from the very first volume, discovering Zenith went along with keeping Lilia not because she actually believed Rudy's excuses for her and Paul, but because she thought she would destroy Rudy's "home" was such a compelling and heart warming moment that it was criminal to be cut from the anime.

Another thing I like is that there is weight and consequences to things that happen. Be it accidents like the Displacement Incident or mistakes like the Manatite Hydra fight. And the way the regret of Rudeus's past life correlates to the suffering of his current life is masterfully done .

I also love how the novel isn't specifically tied to a formula or narrative structure. It really does feel like we're following along the life of someone else slowly, good and bad, slow moments, thrilling moments, everything goes. Its charming how relatable and mundane moments can be.

Finally, talking about volume 14 itself. Overall I liked the volume, even though I felt like the book ended before turning point 4 and from turning point 4 its basically another book. Which would make sense, but it felt kinda weird.

It was great getting to see Chaos Breaker and get to know Perugius. It was even better getting to see other sides of Nanahoshi and the development of her friendship with Rudeus, I am worried about the future tho, that girl barely left home before, who knows how she is gonna act now after discovering her illness.

The Demon Kings and Empresses are always really fun and I really liked Atofe, its hard to be mad at her dumb antics.

The MVP of the volume is definetely Zanoba, Atofe couldn't be stopped without him there.

And perhaps thats why the tone shift hits so hard. The sillyness of the entire volume, and of the Man God's advice during that dream, takes a somber gone when we understand how close to death we actually were. Atofe and her demons can be a bunch of doofus, but they were strong enough to defeat future Rudeus and kill Eris. Man God casually tells Rudeus to go to the basement and it would have wound up killing Roxy and leading Sylphie to her desth. Life truly can change in an instant and with this I feel that Mushoku Tensei will never be the same again. I only hope everything goes well...

[eglentyne-morven]

I love waking up before the sun.

I want a shrine to Cernunnos, an outdoor one. I'd erect it with cinder blocks and pallets, in the middle a fire pit. I'd make my own statue of clay.

Usually I'm heading to work in the early hours of the morning, and I often see the deer on the side of the road. I am no longer unnerved by this. I know where they're likely to congregate and where their trails cross on the road.

I give them stories. I like to think they have families. Recently on my way to work I stopped for this young buck, he was so handsome. I let him cross in front of me, and it's always a given when there's one there's more. I looked into the tree line and saw a doe who was uncertain if she should follow him or not. I felt him pleading "it's fine," but she turned and ran back into the woods, left him on the other side of the road. Maybe she was pregnant, didn't want to risk it. I hoped they didn't get separated.

When I get to work I tell my coworkers about my sightings. They sometimes ask, "you see any animals?" I see them more when the moon isn't out, or when it is in a darker phase.

They pass through my parent's backyard, with their babies, to eat the apples from the trees on the creek edge. That neighborhood is safe passage for them, so they can be seen in daylight. I like to sit on the deck with Mom and watch them.

I sometimes hear them in the middle of the night. They make eerie noises, pleading for each other, hair-raising sorts of not-quite-human wailing pitches. It whips the dogs into a frenzy.

I lament we have no stories of Cernunnos. So I often make stories for him, like I make stories for the deer. Like he was born from the hollow of a tree, which withered and died after he climbed out of the swollen base of her. I have a story of how he made peace with the boars. And the wolves. How he fell in love with Diana. There's a really epic myth somewhere in there.

I'm trying to find ways to reach Cernunnos. It's hard to get his attention because he's like the deer, shine a light on him and he runs to the treeline. But last week I stopped on the road, not five minutes from work, because a deer was facing the road. She looked at my car, didn't move. I flash my lights. I tapped the horn. Didn't move. "You gonna cross or not?" She turned away, in no real rush, and just slipped back into the woods. Do they know that we're in these cars? Because I felt like she was looking through the windshield. At me.

I think I should give an offering to the creek behind my parent's house, where the deer pass through and eat the apples. Some votive offering, and coins. Let him know I mean business. Let him speak to me through the deer.

[leonardodivavinci]

Not to talk about reality on a site I considered my safespace but knowing that I'll always be shoved with amatonormativity throughout my entire life makes me feel sick. Not only that but I live in a queerphobic country and once in a while, I can't help that my existence is inherently sinful when that's not the case. How long do I have to hide this side of me before I completely forgot about it after I succumb to societal pressure to be someone I was never meant to be in the first place?

[eglentyne-morven]

Favorite altar tool

It's my athame, duh. Maybe I have a romanticized view of what that means to me. But I don't care. It's important to me where its power comes from, my belief bolsters that ability to use it, and so it is a true Witch's blade.

It's not even a pretty thing. It was a boot knife I brought from azure green years and years ago that's been repurposed to be an athame. The handle painted black, symbols scratched into it, and I embedded a couple tiny gemstones into the hilt to give it my own touch. It's mine. It works. And for all the lovely flashy things on the market I want mine as is. Because when I pick it up it buzzes in my hands and that's the cue, time to work, and there it goes.

But a newly acquired tool I picked up a few months ago... I was in a witch shop up in the mountains and perusing their discounted section I come across this goblet that had the symbol for the Chalice Well on it. I lost my damned mind. This was made for me, set in this store for the purpose of me finding it, a gift from on high that I should be destined to have this goblet. On sale.

It's stainless steel, again not the most elaborate ornamentation, but to have the Chalice Well on it, that is a symbol I have come to establish as divine union, it's perfect to have on a goblet. I feel reverent holding it. And it holds alot of wine. It's hefty, we take our libations seriously.

I love all my tools, but I love these that do the most work.

[eglentyne-morven]

Had a thought, while making some lavender oil this morning. Felt it worth sharing.

I'm Wiccan, got no qualms calling myself that. Because it's my tradition, I hold it very close to my heart. But I have all these different Gods and Goddesses I speak with, and these archangels reaching out to me, and spirits of the dead, spirits of the places I visit coming to me. My Witchcraft looks English, but there are bits of hoodoo in it, and other not hoodoo bits that are still distinctly American. I may cast a Wiccan circle, but consider how much of that is a nod to ceremonial magick. How my path working is very Golden Dawn and many of my words and practices are inspired from Crowley. And so much of what I'm learning about the nature of priesthood is being informed by Ocha, Santeria, and Ifa, in addition to Wicca.

This is a wild mix of beautiful magick I got going on here. What the hell do you even call that?

Mine. My practice. My life. A world where I am informed by the all the mystery presented to me, all that it can teach and transform me.

I like it.

[eglentyne-morven]

What’s your Familiar?

I don’t have a familiar.

If you mean a pet that I have decided to call my familiar because that seems like a very Witchy thing to do, nah, pets are pets. Maybe if this animal has an awareness that you have an expectation of it, like, whatever you feel a familiar is supposed to be helping you with, I could see that kind of relationship.

If you mean familiar like some sort of disembodied spirit that goes and does your work, yeah, not something I really care to do. That’s what my husband likes to do. He’s got one I like to talk to, because I know where he’s housed, and he’s helped me with a few things.

[eglentyne-morven]

Favorite Animal?

You can’t ask me to pick just one. You can’t.

Top Five Favorite Animals

Dogs: Who doesn’t love dogs?

Cats: Who doesn’t love cats?

Crows: Best bird ever.

Deer: Aww, they’re so majestic and dumb. Bless. Protect them.

Bumblebees: Gen X had “save the whale” and we have “save the bee”

Fun fact, I’ve never been stung by a bee, or a wasp, or hornet.

[eglentyne-morven]

Favorite Color?

Violet, followed by cerulean blue, magenta, and any shade of red imaginable.

But here lately I’ve been very drawn to yellow. It’s stimulating.

I don’t do a lot of color correspondence in my spellwork... Most often black, white or red is enough. Occasionally I use a green candle for something. I feel like color correspondence is one of those things you get really hung up on when you’re just starting out because color is something that’s easy to understand. Those associations you learn really quickly because we are already primed to have certain emotional reactions to different colors. You know what makes you think of good fortune, or love, or banishment, or what’s purifying, or energetic, or sexual, and what attracts your attention, or what grounds you. Those colors probably popped into your head as you read this.