#personal epiphany

[gungadinfic]

The journey back home was devastatingly beautiful. As we ascended through the clouds above Manchester, the most breathtaking sunset unfolded — a grand and glorious farewell above Albion’s skies.

Then, as the plane approached its landing, knowing that my parents were waiting for me at the airport, I was already teary-eyed… but then You're My Waterloo began playing in my headphones. And just as the song reached its climax, the plane touched the ground. The way I was weeping!!!!! I am so, so thankful to The Libertines — for their mythology, their community, and their music, which quite literally inspired me to embark on this wild, deeply personal UK tour. It may not have been that long, but it changed me profoundly, in the most beautiful way, and gave me so much to hold onto.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. But also — you all are my Waterloo. In the best and most heart-wrenching way.

[officerhaughtstuff]

Waverly is 21. Wynonna is 27 and 6 years older than Waverly. So she's definitely not old enough for a high school reunion. Let's say she graduated at 17 like the youngest of classes (Sept - Nov birthdays). She's still only, at most, 4 years out of high school, and really probably 3. If she took classes online and got a degree that way, she could've been done with undergraduate studies in 3 or 4 years with ease. I think they're working a school event (since Nicole is in uniform).

and really, like i said. she could be at a reunion still. their classes cant have been that big if purgatory is as small as they say. they could easily (and likely would) combine reunions for several grades. i already turned down an invite for a 5-year reunion of sorts for my high school despite only being out for three years. because you dont rent out a space for only forty people. at least not the kind of space and resources you need for a reunion. ill admit that i got the timeline wrong on waverlys exact age by a few years. but still. like i said. easily she could be going to her own reunion. esp if she skipped a grade which is quite frankly something i can easily see a point made either way on. she is clearly smart enough for it, but would she want to go against the grain that way esp in the wake of her own family history? idk. if she did it could contribute to her need to fit in. if she didn't it contributes instead to her history of not doing what she wants or needs so people will like her.

and also i havent even seen/remember the clip everyone is talking about. ive only been addressing the possibility of waverly attending a reunion, not whether or not i think its happening. its plenty possible for any number of reasons. here’s another: their school is weird and throws reunions all the time for no fucking reason. yet another thing i have seen myself. i was invited to a low-key reunion at my school only one year after i left. idk why. i wasnt ready to go back yet. i didnt have anything to gloat about. i still talked to my friends that i actually cared about. there was no point. and yet it was held anyway. less fancy than the “five-year” i was invited to, but still a reunion. schools are weird.

[gungadinfic]

All packed and ready to go home, and I’m overwhelmed with emotions I can’t quite put into words. Yesterday, I saw the poets I’ve been performing my work to for the last two months, and I shared a brand-new poem I wrote just a few days ago — one a bit inspired by Merry Ol’ England. I got applause at the end and received some small but deeply meaningful gifts: two letters. One was written on a postcard from an old cinema we’d visited together, and the other on an origami shirt and tie — mirroring the outfit I wore when I first met them. One friend wrote in her letter, “Let’s go to Margate together,” as she lives nearby and I had previously recommended visiting some Libertines and TS Eliot spots there. This is life in all its glory — you lose something on the journey to (your) Arcadia, but through it all, if you’re lucky, you gain so much, even if you have to untangle it from the webs of misfortune first. Anyway, this isn’t the end, because the Albion sails on course ❤️ (with my bag of poetry on board, haha.)

[bethspickleproblems]

That awkward feeling when you realize that your favorite trope in supernatural, reverse harem romances isnt the Voltron sex.

It’s the emotionally mature men who open up to each other, instead of dumping all their feelings in their girl’s lap. And they equally split chores without a woman assigning them or nagging them about it. XD

(Ok the fantasy of possessive MMCs actually being both comfortable providers and great lays is also great. Just not as great lol)

[iwillbefinewith-god]

Had a big personal epiphany right now. Made an introspective realization that links and starts in my childhood to how my anxiety works and how I am now.

I am really proud of myself for improving myself the best I could as a teen. Pushing myself to act better even when I didn’t know how and had no help. I tried to listen and rework myself and I did that alone, no therapist. But I want to acknowledge my family that told me over and over how to say it better. I wouldn’t be where I am without first having made a breaking point in those years and resolving to be better. And now after having had some therapy I was able to piece it together and I can see the right way to go about it. I’m really grateful to my loved ones too even with the hurt.

[perpetually-attempting-man]

Personal Epiphany #348

The more I saturate my brain in information, the more I am aware of others. Fun side effect I think, additionally, I have realized I have become asinine in certain ways. Ergo, I am intending to resolve that with habitually googling or researching anything that sounds like paraphrased information. There is a post somewhere addressing this...or stating this differently, but yes.

[satire-please]

Birthday Epiphanies

Today I turned 28 and I thought I’d write just a few important viewpoints that have changed over this last year.

You’re never going to ‘grow up.’  There is no magic switch that transforms you into a competent adult.  Things don’t get easier, but you gain experience so you can handle them better.  Like, “Oh, I kinda expected this,” and now you can manage it with a resigned panic instead of a blind one. 

Like whatever you freaking like and own it.  You genuinely enjoy something?  Own it.  You’ve been reamed into being being self-conscious about liking things deemed for ‘children?’ Screw it.  Screw them. Stay up until 3 A.M. to read your comics and fanfiction.  Watch marathons of your anime and cartoons.  Play your games til you drop.  Ship your ships in all their crazed glory.  Everyone has their ‘thing,’ respect that their thing could different from your thing and carry on. 

Make every encounter you have, no matter how brief, a positive one. Just because you’re never going to see them again, doesn’t mean you should be a cretinous, bloodthirsty schmuck.  And friendships will fade.  You will lose touch.  The circumstances that pulled you two together will change.  So let them fade graciously, enjoy and remember the time you did spend together. 

Turn “I’m not good enough” into “I’m not ready, yet.” You’re changing minutely through tiny day to day things.  It’s like your hair growing.  Painfully slow, but yes one day you will have luscious fantasy locks.  So keep going, you might crawl a bit closer to your goal and that’s what matters.  Also you can only be ‘good enough’ for one person...you. You have no control over the perceptions of others.  You can always put your best foot forward and pray that your awesome persona sticks in their brain, but really?  You have so much to do and so little time to care about that kind of trivial crap.  Find the little stupid things you’re happy about yourself and keep going.  

[gaysoulmates]

omg i am so gay