As a mother with older children, is there a progression of when it IS and ISN'T easier to combine writing and motherhood? I assume smaller means requiring more attention/supervision = less time/energy for writing, but maybe the emotional work of later years is equally taxing?
It’s all about finding a balance of the things that you NEED to do.
You NEED to feed your children, yourself and your pets. You NEED to keep your house hygienic to a standard you can live with, that doesn’t endanger your health.
If you’re anything like me, you also NEED to write or the voices in your head get deafening.
It also depends on your style of parenting. Yes, you need to make sure that your children are safe and have their essential needs met, that you give them plenty of cuddles (they grow up too fast...). But do you need to be a helicopter parent, supervising their every mood, dictating how they play?
From an early age, I encouraged my kids to amuse themselves. I gave them books and toys and left them to themselves for short periods, while making sure I was always within sight. I’d sit in a chair with my laptop and write while they made cute noises and chewed on rubber ducks.
My sons are 8 and 11 now and they are SPORTS MAD. A lot of my writing time is garnered sitting beside the cricket pitch, or the soccer field, or the swimming pool. A tablet with a Bluetooth keyboard is brilliant for this.
I don’t know yet how we’ll cope with the teenage hormones when they hit. If they’re anything like me, they will sulk moodily in their room with a book and I will keep on writing until they’re ready to talk to me again.
I guess the TL/DR answer to your question is, it depends. It depends on your personal circumstances and necessities, and it also strongly depends on the personality of your child/ren.
It’s easy as a parent to find your needs subsumed to everyone else’s, but no matter what, you do deserve a little time for yourself, and if you want to spend that time writing, that’s what you should do. Make it clear to your family that this is YOUR time - go into another room and close the door, if you must. They’ll live without you for that half an hour.
