Oct 18, 2021
wanting to talk to someone when you know talking to you is burdening them is a special level of loneliness
#sallow speaks#hes like ah i dont wanna talk to people! or hang out w them!#i feel bad for demanding their attention#personal or not#can him and jay start dating already#zero#nothing ever feels right these days its always too personal or not personal enough#we watch and movie and they play and game and its fun and nice and they leave as soon as jay does#we chill playing dating sims and hang out and its fine and nice and the second they leave it feels like its my fault#every bump ever word every ounce of negativity feels like its my fault#idk what to do about it#i want to distance myself but every time i do that i feel like shit#i want to get closer but i cant do that for very very very very many reasons#i want to leave this alone and ignore this which i think im doing a pretty good job of#not asking to hang out but not stopping things i already do like sending memes and cat videos#i want to perish#im so tired#my nightmares have moved to every few nights tho so thats good
