technically i played my first run of iwatex more than a year and a half ago. i focused heavily on exploration, managed to cure the shimmer and stop the famine without realizing it was possible to fail at those, and became a gardener with sym and dys.
but i remembered very little when i finally came back to the game (i remembered tammy dying, the gardeners, and the helios arriving, but that’s about it), so i decided to completely wipe my data and start fresh.
my new first run was… tragic. obviously tammy and hal died because it was a first run. i mostly did exploration. i went out and explored the month that tonin died, saw the fight, didn’t have the stats to try to save him so i ran for help, and then held his hands while he died, thinking i was tammy.
i stopped exploring for a while after that, and zeroed in on xenobotany again. i’d already done a little bit, and ended up creating the native hybrid right around the time i turned 13.
…which is also when sol’s mom pulls out the “you’re not doing enough” talk (possibly just if your rebellion is on the higher side? but mine has never not been, so i don’t know). which happened to be the event that triggered right after i made the native hybrid. so i was pissed that i’d just achieved a scientific marvel as a prepubescent child, only to be told i needed to try harder.
so i chose every angry option that presented itself. i despised her after that. i feel so strongly about it that i made it a foundational event to my view of my doctor!sol.
i stopped researching xenobotany, and started focusing on engineering instead. leaned back into exploration, too. until the famine got bad. i thought working on xenobotany might help things, make more plants and solve the problem long term.
…but it didn’t. and fluorescent died. which made feelings… complicated.
i leaned fully into engineering and exploration. managed to get to the ridges before ever fully exploring the valley. made efforts to befriend tangent, too. learned that the shimmer cure might be in the valley, but it wasn’t pollen yet so i wasn’t thinking super hard on it. helped her with some other stuff, too.
eventually, a pollen season hit and i remembered the cure. i went out exploring in the valley, but misremembered where the big event for it was and ended up using most of my stress getting to the wrong spot. i had to go back, relax for mid-pollen, and then went back out in late pollen.
i did manage to get to the glade, get what i needed, and get out. went back to the colony, last missing piece for the shimmer cure in hand.
and walked right into the story event where the shimmer finally kills geranium.
…i helped cure it the very next month. i, as a player, felt so… numb and useless about it. at this point i’d failed to save tonin, flulu, and geranium. not just failed, but tried and failed. tried so very hard.
i threw myself entirely into my relationship with tang. we started dating. i focused back on engineering because i didn’t know what else to do.
i found out what tang was working on. had been working on, for years. what i’d been helping her with, unknowingly.
i could tell she felt conflicted. that this was something she felt she had to do, but something she didn’t want to do.
i told her… i supported her.
i thought it was the first step. that if i let her know that i support her (not her project, but her), then she would know, when i told her it needed to stop, that i wasn’t mad at her. she wouldn’t have to defend herself. that she could lean on the parts of her screaming that this was wrong, and i’d support her in following the path to undoing what she had almost done.
that wasn’t a choice i was given. i just couldn’t read the writing on the walls.
i hoped the chance would come up with time passing. but it didn’t.
i decided i had to tell someone else. the only person i could think of who would be against it, and who could do something about it.
i told dys.
and he just… told me it wasn’t a serious threat. that the gardeners could handle it. i wasn’t close enough with him to make him take me seriously.
he left during the next glow.
i tried exploring again, hoping i might find something out there that would let me stop this. i broke up with tang, because i realized i couldn’t talk her out of it. i’d damned us both with that one choice.
in the end, there was nothing i could do. tangent’s cure came to pass.
i just imagine all those years sol spent sitting in the helios. thinking on the course of their life.
how they chose to run and get help instead of fighting to protect tonin. and he died because of it.
how they chose to try and focus on breeding new plants for the famine instead of working the fields. and fluorescent died because of it.
how they took one wrong turn in the valley of vertigo, delaying curing the shimmer by two months. and geranium died because of it.
how they said one wrong thing, thinking it was a path to redemption. and because of that, cal, and instance died.
…a planet died.
i know how it ends in the story. emerging more than a decade later. surviving, because that’s what humanity does.
but in my heart, it ends differently. sol refuses to stay in the helios. a season after the quarantine starts, they just leave. they venture out into the plagued wilderness to try and save something. some small bit of vertumna. something that can be regrown, like it was thousands of years ago.
I hope this message finds you well. My name is M, and I'm currently working on a heartfelt and introspective book that I believe will resonate with many. The book is a collection of letters written in the first person, addressed to a father, capturing the spectrum of emotions and experiences that define this pivotal relationship.
To make this book as rich and diverse as possible, I am reaching out to people willing to share their personal stories with their fathers. These contributions will help shape a narrative that is both intimate and universally relatable.
What I'm Looking For:
Positive Stories (Ages 3-13): I would love to hear about the warm, loving, and memorable moments you shared with your father during your early childhood years. These stories could be about moments of joy, lessons learned, or simple, cherished memories that highlight the bond between you and your dad.
Challenging Stories (Ages 12-19): Equally important are the more complex and sometimes difficult experiences from your teenage years. These stories can reflect struggles, conflicts, or moments of growth and realization. They will help portray the multifaceted nature of father-child relationships as we navigate the turbulent adolescent years.
How to Contribute:
If you're willing to share your story, please send it to [email protected] with the subject line "Letter to a Father Submission." Your submission can be as short or as long as you feel necessary to convey your experience. Anonymity and privacy will be respected, and you can choose to share your story under a pseudonym if preferred.
Why Contribute?
By contributing, you will be part of a project that aims to touch hearts and offer solace and understanding to readers who might find their own experiences reflected in these letters. It's an opportunity to voice your journey, honor your relationship with your father, and contribute to a collective exploration of this fundamental bond.
Thank you for considering sharing your story. I am deeply appreciative of your time and openness.
She’s a PhD student with a dream! Help her fund her education and make her dreams a reality! Check out her story! Any amount would be helpful, thank you!
I had an old friend from school meet me for dinner as he passed through the town I attend college in. We were pretty good friends, but that was all we were. The plan was to catch up.
He ended the night by walking me to my car, then trying to kiss me (with no flirting going on at all during dinner; in fact, I’d mentioned that I wasn’t looking for any relationships since my last one ended badly). I dodged it and turned around to open my door, dismissing him with a swift “good night”. He pressed me up against my car, pinning my arms between my chest and the door, and bounced my head off the frame.
He yanked on my hair and tried to get a hand down my pants (thank goodness for skinny jeans being too tight), and instead grabbed my hips tight enough to leave bruises on them while humping me, until I was able to get to my keys and press my car alarm button. The sudden sound must have spooked him because he let me go and ran off before people came.
I didn’t start crying until the people who came had left and I was sitting alone in my car, still shocked at what happened. Our parents are close friends, so I haven’t said anything. I’m not sure my parents would believe me.
Been looking for a new #tarot deck for two years, after the limited edition Emily Dickerson deck was just too abstract for me (a friend from my hometown made it - such a cool deck). Opened up my @starchildtarot deck and these are all the cards that jump out to me ✨on to a deep dive card by card .... a new deck Ritual I like to work with 🔥#personalstories #therealme #tarotdeck (at Corner Alchemy Apothecary)
Some thoughts are so dense it takes a whole night to process them. At first they seem harmless. Like a tiny splash of water on your face to unwind the mind. And then it slowly starts to take over. As the day fastens its grip and the night is over, those thoughts return to you like a crashing wave. Some times it's these demonic words that strike their target right when the first rays of sunlight reach the bedroom curtains. A faint ray of light takes birth at the bottom of palms raised in prayer. And it is as though the heart is most vulnerable. Because it has yet to wear its armour. And just when it is about to reach for it, that wave of pain engulfs each fiber of its existence. Unbeknownst of what becomes of it, it skips a beat. And then starts again. The same rerun of scenarios to dampen the hurt that has just gripped its prey. Till a wall rebuilds itself, the facade of exchanging flesh for stone. The idea of the imperishable, untouchable, human writ. And the living continues; walking in the hues of overnight bruises.
